What We Don't Remember
by Kate2008
Summary: COMPLETE: After 2.14: C is back from Bangkok, but what exactly did he miss while he was gone. B barely seems to know herself but Uncle Jack sure does, and he knows exactly what he wants. C/B/J
1. And the CEO is

**Okay guys here's the deal. I know that if I'm on your author alert and that's why you are reading this that it isn't what you were expecting. I'm sure you were anticipating another update of The Games We Play but after last night's episode, I couldn't help but write this. I have no clue how long it will be, I just sat down and started writing (I can guarantee it will be nothing like as long as The Games We Play which I am of course still working on). So if you want to read it, go for it, but I make no promises. **

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. Possibly M later.**

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Blair was nervous as she waited in the lawyer's office while the will was being read. This was big, really big. Chuck was obviously about to become the richest kid in New York City but the real question was the fate of Bass Industries. Everyone knew Chuck's history with his father, full of animosity; but would that animosity cause Bart to leave someone else in charge. OR would he entrust the company to his son who as much as Blair hated to admit it, was in no place to take charge of a company right now.

The lawyer was droning on and on about assets being divided amongst three shares as Blair sat there watching the beneficiaries, Chuck, his uncle Jack, and Lily, wait for the news that really had them all on the edge of their seats. Then the lawyer hit the reason they had all even bothered to show up and not just sent lawyers to represent them, the company.

"As for the company, the board will continue to control 20% and Bart has left 21% to Lily Van der Woodsen."

Blair knew what this meant; this meant that controlling interest in the company was still at stake. Someone was still going to be making all the decisions, and that someone was going to be either Chuck or Jack. Blair didn't want to even think about Jack, about what happened on New Year's Eve. Chuck was finally starting to cope a little and let her in and now was not the time to let New Years come between them, so Blair pushed the thought from her mind and braced herself for what the lawyer would say next.

The lawyer paused and in that pause Chuck looked back towards Blair, a silent plea in his eyes. He needed her and she was determined to be there for him, so Blair walked forward and placed her hands on Chuck's shoulders. He then reached up with one of his hands and took a hold of one of hers.

The lawyer picked up an envelope, "All that's left in my instructions is to give you this Charles."

Chuck took the envelope, he couldn't read it though. His father's true opinion of him lay within this envelope and he couldn't possibly bring himself to read that. Not when it was likely to say that Bart had hoped that Chuck might one day be someone worthy of being CEO of Bass Enterprise, but he wasn't. So Chuck squeezed Blair's hand, the one person who had been there for him through all of this and turned his head to her. "Will you read it?"

Blair bit her lip and nodded, accepting the letter from Chuck. "Do you want me to read it out loud, or to myself and then tell you what it says?"

"Out loud."

She opened it, her hands were shaking, this could mean so many things, but she had to be strong for Chuck. She loved him and she could do this. So Blair opened the letter and started to read. "Dated, November 27, 2008. Charles, If you are reading this right now, then I'm dead. In which case, I'm sorry for leaving you so soon. I have watched you your entire life. I've watched as you have squandered my money, partied constantly, drank your youth away, and slept with half the city." Chuck clutched Blair's hand not holding the letter, tighter. Blair didn't want to keep reading, this was too difficult. "Chuck, do you want me to stop?"

"No, keep reading." Chuck said. His voice was raw, obviously he was hurt by the words his father had written.

"Okay," Blair said continuing. "I watched your irresponsibility become worse and worse over the years when it should have been improving. I could never leave my company, a company that is my life's work, in such hands. My company needs to be in the hands of someone with entrepreneurial vision, someone with an eye for business, someone who is responsible, mature, and ready to take over the company. Until the day I was married I never thought that that someone could be you. But you have surprised me, exceeded my expectations. Victrola was a step in the right direction but I saw at my wedding how much you had really changed. The past few months with you have been a gift. Believe me when I say that I wish I could have been there for you more before this; but, I have had the opportunity to see what kind of man, my son has turned into. I know that I am leaving my company in capable hands, by leaving it with you. As important as the company is don't let running it consume you as I let it do me because the people in your life are what really matters." Blair smiled as she read the next line. "As far as people go, you've been pretty lucky, Nate is a wonderful friend and Blair Waldorf is quite the catch and I would advise you to hold onto them both. I love you son. Bartholomew Bass." Blair turned to look at the speechless room. "That's all." She said handing the letter back to Chuck who read it over himself.

"I'm CEO of Bass Enterprises." Chuck said in awe, while Jack simply sat there gaping. Neither one of them seemed able to believe it.

Jack sighed to himself, after everything that he and Bart had discussed he probably shouldn't have been surprised.

The small crowd slowly began to dwindle as people made polite conversation with one another until it was only Blair, Chuck, and Jack left in the room. Even the lawyer had left for his lunch break.

Jack was obviously disappointed but he didn't seem too angry. Chuck turned to him. "I'm sorry, Jack, really I don't quite know what my father was thinking."

Jack looked at Chuck. "It's fine, really, I actually thought he was going to do something crazy like leave the company to Eric. Now what do you say we get going." Jack then smirked up at Blair who glared back. "Now Blair, you are more than welcome to join us. As Chuck's legal guardian, I thought I would extend an invitation, our house is open to you any time." He said with a lustful look at Blair.

Chuck stood, just then noticing that he was still holding onto Blair's hand. He knew that he should let go but he didn't want to. "Do you maybe want to go somewhere and talk?" Chuck asked quietly.

Jack who was then behind Chuck and directly in Blair's line of vision continued smirking at her.

"Sure." Blair said lacing her fingers through his before saying to Jack. "Do you mind taking a cab home Jack, Chuck and I are going to be needing the limo?" That should be enough to get rid of him, she thought to herself.

"Actually Blair, if you two could just drop me off by the hotel, that would be great." Jack said, this time giving Blair a wink. He knew that she had been trying to avoid his company but he wasn't going to let her off that easily.

"No problem, Uncle," Chuck said. "I'm going to step outside to call the limo, service in here is awful."

Blair didn't want to be away from Chuck but more than that she didn't want to be left alone with Jack. "I'll go with you Chuck."

Jack jumped in. "That would be stupid Blair. It's freezing outside." After a pause he added. "Don't worry, I don't bite, hard."

Chuck chuckled as he left the room and Jack moved to face Blair once more, brushing his hand across her back until he was in front of her with a hand stroking her shoulder. "Well Blair, if I didn't know better I would say that you didn't want to be alone with me."

Blair shook his hand away, moving a couple of steps back. "Jack, what happened on New Year's Eve was a mistake, and like I said before, Chuck can't know, not yet. It would destroy him. So you're right, I don't want to be alone with you."

Jack took a few steps toward her. "Blair, it was completely innocent. You were grieving, more than a little intoxicated, and all alone for the Holidays because everyone had abandoned you. I was simply there for you in your time of need." He explained with a smug smile.

"No, if you had been there for me, you would have put me in a limo and sent me home." Blair snapped ready to back away from the monster before her at a moments notice.

"I see why Chuck fell for you. You are gorgeous and wicked all at the same time. It's not often you find that in the same package and what a delightful package it is, if I remember correctly." Jack said looking her up and down.

Jack's look screamed that he was undressing her with his eyes. "You're disgusting. I only have flashes of that night. Blurry flashes and your word on what happened." Blair spat. "And you, you are exactly like a Chuck Bass who never grew up."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "But you were the catalyst for that now weren't you? Maybe you'll have the same effect on me." Jack said brushing a hand along Blair's cheek. "What do you say Waldorf? Do you want to help me grow up?" He was tempted to lean down and kiss her right there where Chuck could walk in at any moment.

"Keep your hands off me Jack. If you touch me again. . ." Blair warned

"You'll . . . You'll what Blair? Call Chuck in here?" Jack questioned smirking once more. Blair knew where Chuck got that from now. "No, you won't because then I would tell him why I think I have a right to touch you. I would tell him exactly how much I know about Blair Waldorf. How much I've seen."

"You wouldn't." Blair said defiant. "You are in the same position Chuck was a year ago. You won't tell Chuck because you don't want him to hate you and he will. He will hate you and destroy himself. I am the only one left in his life that he gives a damn about and I am not about to lose him because of something I allegedly did while I was drunk." Blair said, standing her ground. She had been here before but it had been Nate that she was trying desperately not to lose back then. Either way it was familiar ground and she wouldn't make the same mistakes twice, Chuck wasn't going to find out.

"Oh you did it Blair and you are forgetting something else other than New Year's Eve. I am not some little high school boy that cares about who likes who. I'm an adult and whether or not my nephew likes me really isn't something I trouble myself with. But, we will keep this between us . . . for now." Jack said walking out the office door.

Blair stood there a minute longer before Chuck came in. "Ready?" He asked as he looked at the girl who had promised to stand by him through anything.

"Ready." Blair said, once more reaching for his hand which he allowed her to take.

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**A/N: This fanfic, however long it is, is solely a C/B fic. Since I was writing it anyway, I thought that I would share.  
ETA: What I meant by this statement is that unlike my previous fanfic the story line will only involve Chuck and Blair from the main cast meaning, Serena, Nate, Jenny, and Dan may make appearances but are not fixtures in the story. **

**Reviews are always appreciated.**

**xoxo  
kate **


	2. Tell Us Uncle Jack, What's On Your Mind?

**Thanks for the incredible response guys. All of the reviewers were so wonderful, it was great reading them. I definitely wasn't expecting it. But since you guys asked so nicely I'll go ahead and continue. **

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

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Blair didn't remember a time where she was more uncomfortable. Somehow she had ended up in the limo between Jack and Chuck. Chuck who she wouldn't mind comforting seemed to be sitting as far towards the window from her as possible. He was withdrawing again Blair could tell and it was almost as though he was trying to put an invisible wall in between them. But Jack on the other hand seemed all too eager to touch her. His body was pressed against her side and his arm was draped over the seat around her shoulders. Jacks fingers were stroking her hair and her glares did nothing to stop him.

Blair had never been more relieved to reach the Palace. Jack paused when he should have been opening the door. "I'll see you later tonight Chuck." Chuck didn't even act as though he had heard Jack. Jack leaned into Blair's ear and whispered. "You know I would love to see you later tonight as well."

Shooting him another look of disgust, Blair practically pushed Jack out of the limo and shut the door herself. The limo driver rolled down the partition and asked, "Where to Mr. Bass?"

Blair answered since Chuck was obviously in no position to do it himself. "Victrola."

The driver nodded and rolled back up the partition.

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Jack walked inside to the Palace bar and order his favorite scotch. He had great memories of this bar; after all it was where he had run into Blair on New Year's Eve. He couldn't help but remember how gorgeous she looked that night. She wasn't dressed like all of the other girls at the bar, hell they had looked like prostitutes but not Blair Waldorf. She was the only woman he had ever met that could look that sexy with that many clothes on.

Jack of course had been searching for Chuck because he felt he owed it to his older brother to make sure that his son didn't die. Had he known that Bart was going to leave to company to Chuck he might have left him in Bangkok to rot away. But it was in this search that he had met Blair Waldorf, and that was something that he couldn't bring himself to regret even though he knew that he should.

He had arrived the day of his brother's funeral. He didn't want to intrude so he had stayed away from everyone else who was grieving. When Jack met Blair a few days later, she had been desperate to find Chuck. Jack had assumed that Blair was just another girl to Chuck someone that had gotten a little too attached after a one night stand. Jack had plenty of those running around himself so he simply made the easy assumption. The assumption that he wanted to make because the truth was he had wanted Blair from the moment he had seen her. Wanted her in a way that he shouldn't. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair, wanted her legs wrapped around his body, wanted to make her cry out in ecstasy. He had wanted to possess her.

The more he was around Blair Waldorf as he searched for his nephew, the less he actually wanted to find Chuck. The doubt had started to creep in. What if Blair was more than a one-night stand to Chuck? But he refused to think that, his obsession wouldn't let him. Blair had never done anything to lead him on other than to simply be herself, but for him that was enough to trap him and the more time he spent around Blair the deeper into her quicksand he sank.

He didn't know why Blair had shown up at the Palace Bar that night. He was fairly certain that it wasn't to see him but she hadn't told him to leave when he sat down next to her. So he had stayed, he hadn't had anywhere else to go anyway. Jack had observed Blair as she drank that night. The more she drank, the more she talked about Chuck. Jack hadn't understood why this woman who was so enticingly beautiful was stuck on a boy like his nephew, who would just as soon throw a fragile girl like her away.

When the clock had struck midnight, Jack hadn't hesitated in kissing the very drunk yet still undeniably stunning Blair and it had been more than what he had imagined. So he hadn't stopped with one kiss.

Jack swirled the scotch left in his glass at the memory, yet he couldn't help but continue thinking about Blair. He hadn't been surprised in the least by his nephew's behavior towards Blair when he had brought him from Bangkok. It had been like Jack could finally exhale because he had been right; Blair had meant nothing to Chuck. Then that night on the roof everything changed. He watched on as Chuck apologized to Blair after she saved his life. Jack had been wrong. Blair didn't just mean something to Chuck, she meant everything to him. But by this point it was too late, Jack was too far gone to care.

Right now it seemed as though Chuck had everything that he wanted, Bart's Company and Blair Waldorf, and Jack was determined that that was going to change.

As Jack got up from the bar and started up to his room, he couldn't help but wonder what Blair had been referring to when she had mentioned Chuck being in his position last year. Had they really been carrying on with something for that long? Jack would just have to get the full story from one of them later.

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**A/N:** **Sorry it's short guys, there were just so many of you who wanted to know what came next that I figured I would go ahead and post the rest of what I had written last night. **

**Reviews are always appreciated :)**


	3. Broken Heart to Broken Heart

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Sorry for the delay, I had some serious computer issues last night and couldn't get the story up, but here it is :)

**I'm going to go ahead and warn you guys that I am heading back to college next week so I will try to keep up the updating anyway but I can already tell you it definitely won't be an everyday thing. Love you guys though, thanks for all the great reviews. :)**

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol**

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Blair walked into Victrola like she owned the place. A fact no one there would ever dispute even as she sent them scurrying off. She had had enough trouble even pulling Chuck out of the limo; he had completely shut down again. Honestly, she had no clue what it was, after everything, he still keep closing up and pushing her away as hard as he possibly could. Chuck tried to make a pit stop at the bar but Blair continued jerking him along by his arm. "No Chuck, no alcohol today. You wanted to talk and we're going to talk." Blair said as she continued pulling him towards their booth up front.

"I changed my mind Waldorf. Now I want a drink." Chuck exclaimed turning around back towards the bar, while trying to free himself from her grasp. However, as he knew from experience, Blair Waldorf was surprisingly strong for her size. He had thought that he could do this, talk to her. She had been here for him through the whole thing and he loved the damn girl. But he was wrong, he couldn't talk about everything, not yet, not sober. So he shook her off and made a few steps towards the bar before Blair suddenly darted in front of him.

She pushed him back towards the stage with both hands and he stumbled backwards. Blair knew that she had caught him off guard. "No, we are going to talk and you are going to be sober while we do it." She pushed again.

At that Chuck took a step towards her, closing the distance between them and said something that he was sure would send her running in the other direction as it had several times since he had returned. "You are not my girlfriend Blair."

Blair took a step towards him as well, getting up in his face. "I know that Chuck." She paused and shook her head as she continued."How could I not with you throwing it in my face every chance you get. That and the fact that I caved and said those three words that you begged me to say. You know three syllables, eight letters, I said them and you just keep throwing them back. Which was the very thing I was afraid of; the whole reason that I didn't say them to begin with. So believe me when I say that I am well aware of the fact that I am not your girlfriend and that you don't love me." Blair spat the words out of her mouth; they were filled with hurt yet lined with venom.

Chuck opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something but Blair held up her hand, signaling that he really shouldn't speak.

"Oh no Chuck, I'm not done, not yet." Blair continued having taken a breath. "I have been your verbal punching bag ever since the day your father died. I have listened to every nasty horrible thing you've said to me since and I have taken it. On top of that, I searched with Jack to find you, I have checked on you, gone to disciplinary meetings for you, rejected the Colony Club because they said bad things about you, talked you down from a ledge on a balcony so that you didn't die. Every time you push me away and I just keep coming back for more don't I because unfortunately for me I do love you. Whether I am your girlfriend or not doesn't matter because I have to take care of you for me. I thought I was clear that night on the rooftop; everything you do to hurt yourself you do to me and I can't live knowing that you aren't okay, that you are alone or in pain. So whether you like it or not we are going to talk about this because I am a selfish bitch who is tired of hurting all the time, even if you aren't." Blair said finishing up. She looked at Chuck and saw something marvelous; something she definitely hadn't seen in a while with Chuck sober. Blair saw Chuck, her Chuck, the guy that she loved and that gave her hope.

After her speech Chuck's mouth was practically hanging open. Since he barely remembered the night on the rooftop he had been relying on what Jack had told him in the first place. All he knew was that he had been walking on the ledge of the building, drinking (which he remembered on his own), when Jack surprised him he almost fell off (which he also vaguely remembered), and Blair had had to talk him down. No one had mentioned any of the specifics; so Blair's outburst had filled in quite a few blanks when it came to realizing why he didn't just jump when he had the chance. And after that speech he felt he owed it to her to at least give it a shot. So Chuck said, "Okay," and allowed Blair to lead him over to their booth. It was funny thinking of it as that, 'their booth.' They weren't a couple yet that booth was like the back of the limo to him; it was sacred. After all, that is where they had been sitting before Blair graced the stage with her presence, before she lost her virginity to him.

They each sat down on the soft, velvet booth; both seemingly waiting for the other to speak. Finally, Blair broke the silence. "Why did you almost jump off the roof Chuck?" Her voice was serious and she sounded almost as though she was bracing herself for the answer.

Chuck sat there for a few minutes looking at nothing, everything, and anything but at Blair's eyes because he knew that if he did, if he looked into her eyes his decision would be made for him. He would break down and he wanted to make the decision to let her in himself. So he closed his eyes and inhaled. It was a shaky breath and he knew that she could tell that he was nervous, scared even. "I just wanted it to stop." Chuck said his eyes still closed. Then suddenly as though he had abruptly reached his decision, his eyes snapped open and he continued, this time looking at Blair. "The pain. I wanted it to stop, to go away because it was too much. The infamous Chuck Bass found the one thing that could break him and I wanted so badly to let it. To let in engulf me, consume me, destroy me, because then there would be nothing left to feel the pain."

Blair moved her hand towards his. When she first touched his hand he flinched but he didn't move it out of her reach and she continued until her hand was covering his. It was stiff at first but the tension in his hand released as she ran circles on it with her thumb. Then cautiously he turned over his hand allowing her to lace her fingers through his own. But all through this Blair said nothing in hopes that if she gave him time he would continue on his own and he did.

"How is it that I am in so much pain over losing someone that didn't give a shit about me while he was alive?" Chuck questioned, still holding Blair's hand.

This time Blair thought it appropriate to give a response. "He was your father Chuck and regardless of your differences you loved him. The fact that you were hurting because you lost him is natural. I would be just as worried or more so about you if you were acting like you weren't hurting at all. Feeling loss and pain is human Chuck and yeah it sucks a lot but the ability we have to feel loss and pain after losing someone we love is what makes us different from animals, it's what makes us human."

"I'm scared Blair." Chuck said in almost a whisper. "What if this emptiness inside never goes away? What if I feel this pain for the rest of my life? And maybe worst of all, what if every bad thing my father ever said about me turns out to be true?"

"Chuck" Blair said with more sensitivity than she was aware that she was capable of. "The emptiness along with the pain fades over time. I can't say that one day you are going to wake up and magically you'll be all better because that's not how it works. Part of you is always going to miss your dad, just like a part of you will always miss your mother but it does get better. But for that to happen you have to be alive so please don't indulge in any more of this insanely destructive behavior. I really don't think I can handle it." Blair said getting a small smile from Chuck as well. "As for what your father thought of you, you heard what his letter said today. He is proud of you Chuck. He entrusted you with his company over all the other choices because he thought well of you."

The smile had disappeared from his face and been replaced once more by a frown. "The last thing my father said to my face was that I had disappointed him again." Chuck looked away.

Blair raised her hand that wasn't holding Chuck's and turned his face back to her. "We all say things that we don't mean Chuck. Your father died knowing that you had turned into a great man." Blair said, letting go of Chuck's hand and reaching into her purse. From inside she pulled out the letter from Chuck's father. When they had left the lawyer's office Chuck had left it lying on the lawyer's desk and Blair had known at the time that it should be kept. She opened it once more and started reading because it seemed that Chuck needed to be reminded of his father's true thoughts. "_My company needs to be in the hands of someone with entrepreneurial vision, someone with an eye for business, someone who is responsible, mature, and ready to take over the company. Until the day I was married I never thought that that someone could be you. But you have surprised me, exceeded my expectations. Victrola was a step in the right direction but I saw at my wedding how much you had really changed. The past few months with you have been a gift. Believe me when I say that I wish I could have been there for you more before this; but, I have had the opportunity to see what kind of man, my son has turned into. I know that I am leaving my company in capable hands, by leaving it with you." _This time Blair had accentuated the important words and phrases that exemplified how proud of Chuck Bart had been before he died. "Your father loved you Chuck, he was proud of the man you have become, now please don't prove him wrong." Chuck had turned his head away once more while she was reading the letter but at this time he turned it back. Blair noticed immediately that there were tears running down his cheeks and she moved to hold him like she had done the night that he had shown up in her bedroom.

Neither one of them knew how long they sat there like that holding each other; time was of no significance to them. Chuck eventually pulled back but Blair was the one who spoke. "Chuck, I have to tell you something."

Chuck's eyes let her know that she could tell him anything, so here it was her chance to come clean about New Year's Eve. All she had to do was tell him what she and Jack had done. But what was going to happen if he asked questions, what was she going to say 'I don't remember.' No she knew Chuck, this was something unforgivable to him and she didn't even have the knowledge to defend herself. On top of that, she knew that it would destroy him, all the progress he had made would disappear and it would be because of her and a stupid mistake. She couldn't do that so instead she said something else, something that Chuck probably really still needed to hear. "I love you, no matter what, okay."

Chuck smiled a sad smile."I'm so sorry Blair, for everything that I have put you through. This is the first time that I have spoken to anyone about what I'm feeling and I would have never done it if you hadn't pushed me. I know that I can't take back the things that I've said and I know that everything isn't suddenly better. And I'm sorry because I know that there are going to be times that I act like a jerk again and I'll say more things that I don't mean because the truth is, and I am ashamed to say this, it felt good to say things to hurt you and everybody else, you were simply the easiest target because you were the one I had the most ammunition against. It felt like maybe I was taking some of the pain away from myself and giving to you. But it never really made the pain go away, especially not when I said those awful things to you."

Hearing Chuck say those things about wanting to cause her pain, had hurt Blair but she did what she had been doing and let it go through her. But Chuck saw and that's when he spoke again. "What is that saying? We always hurt the ones we . . ." But Chuck didn't finish.

He had Blair's complete attention though. She had thought for one brief moment that Chuck was going to say the three words that she had been waiting since summer to hear him say but she was just disappointed again because he didn't.

Blair looked away and this time it was Chuck's turn to reach up and gentle turn her head back to face him. "When I say those words I want it to be special okay, I don't want it to be tainted with all of this mess. You deserve better than that."

Blair smiled and Chuck leaned in and kissed her softly before looking at his watch. "I think it's time for us to head home. It seems as though we have been here quite a bit longer than I realized."

Blair tilted her head questioningly. "Exactly what time is it?"

"Four thirty and if my club is going to open tonight then we are going to have to let them get back to work." Chuck said standing.

Eyes wide with shock, Blair stood too. She couldn't believe they had been there for over four hours. It hadn't seemed that long to her. So once more she took Chuck's hand, except this time he was the one leading, and followed him to the limo so that he could take her home.

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Both Chuck and Blair were so lost in their own universe that neither had noticed Jack standing off to the side of the bar, behind a support beam. Watching them he couldn't help but lock his jaw. Blair and Chuck looked like a couple, a couple in love. Nothing even slightly one sided. He would trade places with the kid in a heartbeat. To be able to have what Chuck had with Blair, Jack would do anything. Blair was special, one of a kind to say the least and for that reason alone Jack couldn't understand why she looked at Chuck the way she did. He knew that his obsession with the girl was unhealthy but he was determined now; he was going to make her want him like that. The first step was the easy one; he had to tear her away from Chuck. Chuck was a Bass and the thing that the Bass men hated more than anything was infidelity. For all their womanizing, they were insecure at their core and forgiveness wasn't in their vocabulary. So all he had to do would expose his little tryst with Blair and Chuck wouldn't just give her up, he would throw her away.

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**A/N: This one is nice and long so I hope you all enjoyed.**

**Reviews are always appreciated **


	4. What the Letter held

**I'm going to go ahead and warn you guys that I am heading back to college Monday so I will try to keep up the updating anyway but I can already tell you it definitely won't be an every day thing. Love you guys though, thanks for all the great reviews. :)**

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

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Jack waited at Victrola for a moment. He honestly wasn't sure where he was going to head next amongst all of the possibilities; each possibility leading to a completely different course of action.

One thing was for sure he felt the need to know more about Chuck and Blair's past relationship. This was a strange feeling for him. Never before had he actually wanted to know more about a girl's past or future before. Yet with Blair he was obsessing over knowing everything about her. For this he knew exactly where to go, Serena. If he was a betting man, which he of course his, he would bet Blair hadn't opened up to her yet about New Year's Eve, and he could probably convince Serena to talk to him about Chuck and Blair under the pretense of helping Chuck and Blair.

Another possibility would be to head over to Blair's house. He could give her the ability to end things with Chuck instead of him having to do it himself. This was definitely a tempting prospect if only because he wanted to see a little more of her. He didn't necessarily mind ripping the pathetic little couple apart himself to begin with.

Jack's third choice of action was clear, simple, and to the point, go home. At home he would find Chuck and at very least place the first signs of doubt within his head about his precious Blair. Or he might just spill the beans all together about New Year's Eve.

There were so many choices, it was so hard to pick where to start; but he had the rest of the evening so why not just do it all. Yes that was it, he wouldn't choose, he would simply do it all.

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When Serena opened the door and found Jack, she couldn't help but be surprised. "Jack, what are you doing here?" She really didn't know much of the guy, but like all Bass men he was certainly a charmer.

Jack smiled, "Serena, I have a favor to ask of you. You see, Chuck and Blair obviously care about each other and I want to help them, you know realize that."

Serena looked at Jack curiously. "Really? I know that you and Chuck are a lot alike and have always gotten along but you want to help out with his love life?"

"You could say that." Jack said with a light smirk. "But see the problem is I don't know anything about them from before I got here. They obviously have some history but I can't seem to discern it. That's why I need your help. I need you to fill me in on what I don't know so that I can _help_ them." Jack finished speaking and look to Serena.

She didn't know what to say, this was odd to say the least but she didn't see the harm in telling Jack about Chuck and Blair. He was after all, Chuck's guardian now, yet he was still not too much older than them, and Chuck seemed to trust him so maybe he really could help. "Okay well where do you want me to start?"

Jack smiled again, he had her. "Well I think it be best to start from the beginning,"

Serena shook her head, "Then you might want to get a drink, this is going to take a while."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Blair walked into the foyer of her home smiling. She knew that there was still a long way to go when it came to Chuck but she felt like he had finally started doing what it takes to get better. For the first time in a month she felt hope. Blair was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realize there was someone in the foyer with her until he cleared his throat. Blair jumped back at the sound and was surprised by the sight that greeted her. It was the Bass family lawyer. "Mr. Donavon I don't mean to be rude but is there something I can do to help you?"

He stepped forward and stuttered slightly as he spoke. He was nervous about this, his instructions had been sketchy at best and he wasn't quite sure what he was getting into. Bart had never told him, and he had never asked. "Ms . . . Ms . . . Waldorf, I hope you d-don't mind. You-ur maid let-t me in."

Blair was a little shaken by the stutter. She had known this man for years because of her association with the Bases and had never once heard him sound like this. "Mr. Donavon are you all right?"

Mr. Donavon tried to shake himself out of it, this was ridiculous. Whatever it was about he was sure Bart wasn't putting either of them in danger. "Y-yes, I'm fine Ms. Waldorf. Thank you for your concern." His voice was growing steadier. "It's just I have something for you from Mr. Bass."

"Chuck sent you?" Blair said questioningly. "But why, I was just with him?"

He smiled at that, he had watched the couple in his office that morning and Bart had been right, they were a good match. "No, dear, the late Mr. Bass."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Serena wasn't sure where to start. "Well, I guess the beginning for Chuck would be like kindergarten."

"Kindergarten!" Jack exclaimed interrupting. Chuck had had a thing for Blair since kindergarten.

"Actually, he was probably in love with her before then; but I remember in kindergarten I would go off and play with Nate and he would always stay with Blair. Kindergarten would also be the year when Nate and Blair started dating. Chuck and Nate were best friends, Blair and I were best friends, Nate and I played together, Chuck and Blair played together, and Nate and Blair dated. What's strange is that for years after that, everything stayed the same. Blair only saw Nate they practically had an arranged marriage. Chuck on the other hand only saw Blair and since he couldn't have her he had every other girl instead. Blair had no clue, Nate had no clue, I didn't even realize it until I looked back later, and Chuck, Chuck probably knew on some level but he didn't even grasp the extent of his feelings."

Jack sat there in rapture as Serena continued. She was into her story and was talking with her hands. "Chuck held this sort of respect and fascination for Blair that no other girl could match, no one else even deserved more than a one night stand. So soon enough we were in high school and everything was still the same, Nate and Blair were still together and Chuck would never do something with his best friend's girl, he was too good of a best friend to even consider it, no matter how he felt about her. I apparently wasn't as wonderful of a best friend. Nate and I got drunk and slept together. I ran off Nate for a semester. When I came back everything was still exactly like I had left it. Then Nate told Blair, they stayed together at first but then she ended it because he couldn't admit his feelings for her."

Jack was confused and a little impatient of Serena's story, he wanted to know about Chuck and Blair not Nate and Blair and Serena. He honestly couldn't see though why any guy would sleep with Serena when they had a girl like Blair as their girlfriend. "Serena no offense but what does this have to do with Blair and Chuck."

"You'll see." Serena added. This was the first time she had ever gone into telling their little group's story to anyone and she actually enjoyed it. "This was the first time Blair had been single since kindergarten." Jack raised his eyebrows in surprise and Serena continued. "When I said everything had stayed the same I really meant it. You see the newly single Blair got in a limo and went to a burlesque club where her friend was throwing a celebration party because his father had just agreed to let him buy the place. You might have heard of it, Victrola."

At this Jack's eyebrows didn't just raise, they shot up. "Wait so Blair breaks up with her boyfriend of 13 years and goes to see Chuck?"

"No more interruptions okay, this is where it gets interesting and if I allow it you will interrupt every other sentence. Now, Chuck and Blair had stayed really close through everything. They schemed and plotted together, destroying people, making plans; I was on the receiving end of some of those after the thing with Nate. But yes, Blair went to Victrola, she had been the first to know that he was going to pitch it to his dad in the first place. Chuck tried to take her mind of things and ended up daring her to go dance on stage. So she did, she stripped and Chuck for the first time realized how much he cared about her, or at least that's what I've heard. For the rest of this you'll have to understand that I obviously wasn't there, all of this is stuff that either Blair, Chuck, or Nate, have filled me in on. Chuck and Blair had been drinking and she lost her virginity to him in the back of the limo that night. But before they did Chuck had asked her if she was sure which is a once in a lifetime thing for Chuck. The next day Chuck bought Blair this Erikson Beamon necklace for her birthday, gave it to her at her birthday party that night, and told her that he "liked her." Earlier that day he had convinced Nate not to get back together with Blair. Blair and Chuck continued their affair. It was hidden from everyone but me and that was only because I saw them but Nate finally did decide he wanted Blair back and Chuck didn't want to let go. He schemed and plotted and eventually ruined Blair's Cotillion and pushed her straight into Nate's arms. They slept together and Chuck saw. Chuck took off for a while, skipped the end of the school year before Christmas. When he came back he tried blackmailing Blair to stay away from Nate. Eventually, Nate and Blair got together anyway until Blair had a pregnancy scare. In a whole mess of "he said she said" Chuck ended up blogging to Gossip Girl and Nate found out about everything. Blair went to Chuck because she had lost everything she cared about and he turned her away. To this day I don't know why. Blair almost left for France but I stopped her."

Serena stopped to breathe and Jack jumped in. "So that's when Chuck's dad died?"

Serena shook her head, "Oh no not even close. Chuck and Blair stayed away from each other all spring but I could tell they were both miserable and neither were friends with Nate. I had some problems and the whole gang eventually came together to help out and then Chuck realized he didn't want to lose Blair again. According to Nate, at the wedding Chuck told him that he was in love with Blair. Then in his best man speech Chuck pretty much spoke to Blair begging her for forgiveness."

Jack sat there listening and remembering various things he had heard, like about Chuck being in his position, and in Bart's letter to Chuck he mentioned Victrola and the Wedding. Blair had been a part of all of that.

"So, Blair forgave him and they were supposed to go to Tuscany together. Chuck freaked out after Bart told him something about growing up and he didn't go with Blair. At the end of the summer in the Hamptons, Blair brought a British Lord home to try to make Chuck jealous and Chuck did nothing but try to win her back. He did everything he could except when she asked him to tell her that he loved her he couldn't. Chuck couldn't even have sex with anyone else because he still had feelings for Blair. They kissed once at a party Blair was throwing but Marcus caught them. Eventually, Lord Marcus was out of the picture but Blair still resisted Chuck. She was still hurt. Yet he still chased her, schemed, plotted, did everything. He was getting really close to seducing her because Blair made him a deal; if he seduced and destroyed this girl Vanessa she would sleep with him. In the end Chuck decided that he had done too much chasing of Blair and tried to make her say I love you and she wouldn't do it. Blair then ended up chasing him trying to get him to sleep with her without her having to say it. Blair had given in until my boyfriend Dan screwed things up and made her insecure. Ever since then Chuck and Blair have been dancing around each other, friends but more, lovers without the benefits because Chuck was convinced that they both felt the words but they couldn't say them because if they were in a relationship they would get bored and it would be over. After the funeral Blair tried to be there for Chuck; she told him that she loved him and he pushed her away. Then the next night he showed up in her bedroom and let her take care of him. She awoke to find him gone and you know the rest."

"Wow." Jack shook his head, damn it, they were a lot more involved than he thought. It wasn't going to be nearly as simply as telling Chuck that she had betrayed him she had clearly done that before but maybe he could prey on Chuck's Nate issues, which he had to have with the number of times Blair had left him for Nate. Blair fascinated him more now than ever though. Her complexity was striking and he had had no idea that she was such a schemer but it fit with her incredible intelligence. Yes Serena had given him valuable information. "Thank you Serena, I think knowing that stuff will help. I should be going."

Serena stood up to show him out. "Really? Which part do you think you can use to help them?" She felt like something just wasn't right here. She had just spilled the inns and outs of Blair's and Chuck's relationship to a guy she barely knew and now she was a little creeped out by why he had wanted to know. But then again he was Chuck's uncle; he might really just want to help.

Jack had to think quickly; he couldn't let her catch on. "The limo thing for sure, Victrola, the necklace, all of that. And the rest will be good to know so that I don't step over some kind of line." Jack thought he had covered well so he continued with his departure. It was starting to get late and he still wanted to drop by Blair's tonight. "I really need to go, but thanks again." Jack said before leaving.

Serena just shook her head, that was strange but he seemed to really want to help Chuck and Blair so she guessed that it would be alright.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Blair was really confused now. What would Bart have left for her? She knew that the man liked her, all fathers did, but to leave her something, that was crazy."Bart, sent you to give me something?"

"Yes, well you see, Bart updated his will every three months. He was paranoid about death you see. He said that it was the curse of being new money because everyone knew you had it. The last time he updated he hadn't done so since well before the wedding, which was an extremely long time for him, and he made a lot of changes."

"Are you even allowed to be telling me this stuff?" Blair asked.

Mr. Donavon smiled once more. "You are a smart young woman, Bart was right. But to answer your question yes, Bart in fact has given me specific instructions to inform you of all of this. This last time when he came in to do his will, he was even more paranoid than normal. That's when he made Chuck his major beneficiary. Until then the company was going to his brother, Jack Bass." Blair's eyes widdened at Jack's name and Mr. Donavon's curiosity was sparked. Blair had obviously already had some encounters with Jack Bass or else she couldn't believe that there was a time that Bart wasn't going to leave the company to Chuck. "Yes it's true; Bart didn't think that Chuck was ready. He actually had all kinds of tests set up at that point that when Chuck completed the various hoops he wanted him to jump through, the company would have passed from Jack to Chuck."

Blair couldn't help but smile, that sounded like Bart. "So what changed?" Blair questioned.

"Honestly, Ms. Waldorf I couldn't tell you for sure, but I think part of it was your doing." Mr. Donavon answered.

"My doing?" Blair asked, eyes wide.

Mr. Donavon nodded. "Yes you see, that brings me to what I'm doing here. Bart wanted me to give you this." Mr. Donavon said handing Blair a letter. "I don't know exactly what it says but I have some idea. My instructions were clear; I was to come see you after the will had been read, and bring you this. One thing I will say is that the fate of Bart's company isn't quite settled. Now if you have any questions once you have read the letter, feel free to contact me." Mr. Donavon said handing her his card as well. "Now I really should be going." Blair moved to escort him out and as they he stepped into the elevator he added one more thing. "I suspect I'll be seeing you again soon Ms. Waldorf."

Blair wasn't sure what to do with herself. This was one of the strangest things that had ever happened to her. She was actually nervous to open the letter and find out exactly what Bart was up to; but she worked up the nerve to do it. The further down the letter Blair read, the wider her eyes got, and when she reached the end she couldn't help but gasp.

Blair still had the letter in her hand when the elevator doors opened and Jack stepped out holding a bouquet. She quickly laid the letter on the table next to her hopping Jack hadn't seen it. That was the last thing that could happen right now. "What do you want Jack?" Blair asked crossing her arms.

"What a silly question Blair, I want to see you." Jack smiled at her holding out the bouquet.

Blair rolled her eyes and took the flowers. "Go away Jack." Blair said laying the flowers on top of the letter.

"I don't want to Blair and I think that you should probably do what I want unless you want me to tell Chuck about New Year's Eve." Jack said with a smirk.

"He won't believe you Jack." Blair said sure of her self.

Jack continued smirking. "Oh I think he will Blair, with as many times as you have left him for another guy. Messing up is what you do, sweetheart, don't be ashamed of it, embrace it."

"Go to hell" Blair spat before adding, "and don't call me sweetheart."

Jack reached out and stroked the side of her face and down her jaw as Blair tried to swat him away. She was beautiful even when she was resisting him. He wanted so badly just to kiss those full red lips of hers, kiss them and pull her body to his own. "Feisty. I like that."

Finally Blair had had enough and took a couple steps back; she was actually scared of him and for good reason. "Get out of my house Jack."

He took one step towards her, closing the distance once more. "Blair, I'm going to give you two options; either you tell Chuck or I do." Jack said, his voice menacing.

Blair's own voice was a little defeated when she spoke. "And what am I suppose to say? I don't even remember what happened. No, there's no way I'm going to go to Chuck and tell him that when he needed me the most I was off screwing his uncle; oh yeah and the icing on the cake, I was so wasted I don't remember anything past the kiss until I woke up in his bed. Chuck and I are going to be okay and you are going to stay out of it."

Jack uttered one syllable."No."

"No?" Blair questioned. "What do you mean no?"

"I mean no, I won't stay out of it. You see Blair when I find something I want I don't give up until I get it and I want you." Jack said in a low voice as he looked her up and down, allowing his eyes free reign to roam her body.

His look alone caused Blair to feel dirty and unclean, like she actually deserved to be called those awful things that Chuck had called her last year. How could she have had sex with this monster, and how could she not remember it. She tried to force herself to remember but she couldn't. "That won't give you me. Nothing will do that Jack, it doesn't matter if I'm with Chuck or not. I will never be with you."

"You already have been with me baby, accept it." Jack said attempting to work his seductive voice on her.

Blair was furious and wanted Jack gone. "Well it must have really sucked if I blacked it out of my memory." Blair said. "Now if you'll leave, I have things to take care of tonight."

"Fine Blair, I'll go, but this isn't over. Remember what I said, either you tell or I do." Jack couldn't resist the temptation any longer and closed the distance between them, pulling Blair into a kiss, which she eventually managed to push him out of.

Blair wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Don't do that again." She said in a threatening voice.

"That's not what you said on New Year's Eve." Jack threw back as he headed out of the apartment. "Goodbye lover."

Blair stood there in the foyer trying to shake the feeling of his hands on her skin; it was making her tremble in a bad way. Not the kind of tremble that meant she was excited or turned on. It was the kind that said that she just wanted the feeling gone. It was a disgusting feeling. That's when she remembered the letter. Once she picked it up, she couldn't help reading it again.

_Blair_

_I'm sorry for this intrusion, you must think that this is strange but I wanted to tell you a few things. First of all, I wanted to say how glad I am that you are a part of my son's life. I don't know that he deserved you when you became involved but I know that you have turned him into the kind of man that does. So thank you. Now I have something serious I must address. I assume by now that you have encountered my brother Jack Bass. My little brother is dangerous Blair. I can't tell this to Chuck because he has always liked Jack better than he did me and he would think it was jealousy. Jack can't be trusted and you have to protect Chuck and yourself from him. The reason I say yourself is because of what else I have to say. I'm sorry for laying this on you without even speaking to you about it but I hoped that this would never be necessary. As you know my board holds 20% of the company and Lily holds 21%. It is my wish that everyone is under the belief that Chuck holds the other 59%. Which is easily controlling interest. This however is not the case. Chuck actually only holds 30% of the company the other 29% is in your name. The only people who are aware of this are me, my lawyer, and now you. This would still leave Chuck as CEO as he holds the most shares but no one possesses controlling interest. I didn't do this because I don't trust Chuck. I did this to safeguard the company. You have the right to do whatever you want with these shares and if one day it becomes safe and you would like to give them to my son, then that is your decision. This had to be done just in case my brother was to somehow manage to get a hold of Chuck's shares. Then all it would take was you and Lily to stop him. I'm trusting you Blair and I hope that you are worthy of this trust. Take care of my son._

_Thank you for everything that you have done and everything you are sure to do in the future for my family, _

_Bartholomew Bass_

It still hadn't sunk in yet. Unfortunately Bart's warning about Jack had come a little too late for her but he had left her an awful lot of responsibility. She was going to need someone to talk to about this. That's when she remembered the lawyer. Tomorrow, tomorrow she would call him and he would help her figure this out as he had known he would.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N: I hope you guys liked it. I know I got a little lengthy at parts but I hope it was still good. If I made any errors fill free to point them out and I'll be glad to fix them.**

**I would also like to add a special thank you to YouSure for giving me the idea for there to be a second letter :)**

**Reviews are always appreciated.**


	5. What She Deserves

**I'm back at college so the updates will slow a little but I love you guys though, thanks for all the great reviews. :) Also I've added a little Gossip Girl narration in bold.**

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Let me get this straight Mr. Donovan. You're telling me, Bart Bass left me 29% of his company because he was afraid that Jack was going to find a way to take Chuck's shares and he wanted to make sure that he left the company in good hands?" Blair asked after about five minutes with Mr. Donavon. Blair had called him early Sunday morning and he had told her that he could see her early that afternoon.

Mr. Donovan smiled and once again couldn't help but think that Bart had been right about how smart the girl was. It probably wouldn't be a bad thing if she had controlling interest. "Yes, Ms. Waldorf, that is exactly what I'm saying."

Blair couldn't believe it. She thought that she had read the letter wrong or something. Bart had actually left her almost a third of his company. "So what does this mean?"

"It means whatever you want it to mean." Mr. Donovan said, pleased further by her diligence in making sure she understood the matter at hand. "Those shares are for you to do with as you please. I believe that Mr. Bass's intention was for you to keep this arrangement on the down low."

Blair couldn't help but smile, Mr. Donovan was always trying to throw in phrases that he called 'kid speak.'

"That however is your decision. You can do that and no one would ever need to know that you even held shares, you can give the shares to Chuck, or you could make it known immediately that you have them. All it really means, is that Bart trusted you. No matter what you decide I think that that is the important part because Bart ultimately believed that whatever decisions you made would be in the best interest of the company."

"It is so strange that Bart thought so highly of me." Blair said almost talking to herself. "I mean, sure I group up around him and he always liked me. He thought I 'had a good head on my shoulders.' But I never imagined that he held me in this high esteem."

Mr. Donovan couldn't help but smile again; she was clueless as to how many people thought of her as highly as they did. "You'd be surprised Ms. Waldorf of exactly how well he thought of you. I don't believe I was instructed to mention this but you have been involved in his will for quite sometime. It wasn't always part of the company though if I am correct I think that you were getting five percent of the company for about five years prior to this last change. When you were young it was things a little girl would enjoy like jewelry. Although, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that."

Blair was in shock. She remembered Bart doting on her when she was a little girl. She was like a porcelain doll then and didn't run around and get dirty like the other children. And it was safe to say that she charmed all the parents. Bart had spoken to her a couple of times after he had seen her be particularly shrewd or witty as she got older and had mentioned that she would be good at his job but she had always taken it to be just a passing joke. "Wait, why shouldn't you have mentioned that?"

Mr. Donovan shook his head he really shouldn't have said anything. "Let's just say that the letter isn't the last thing from Bart that I've been instructed to give you. It is simply the only thing for right now." That should be enough information to get her to back off. Blair didn't need to know the other kinds of things Bart had for her and the various stipulations under which they would be presented. Like earrings and necklace set that had been his first wife's wedding jewelry was to be given to Blair should she marry Chuck. There were also gifts for the next several birthday's and Christmas's for her, most of which came from his first wife's jewelry. Mr. Donovan knew that Bart had thought of Blair like a daughter, even if she had had no clue.

"Really?" Blair asked completely surprised.

Mr. Donovan simply nodded.

Blair knew that Mr. Donovan had other appointments so after speaking with the man for a few more moments, they exchanged pleasantries and she went on her way. She needed to pay Chuck a visit before Jack got to him.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Jack walked into Chuck's apartment Sunday evening. They had worked out an arrangement that Chuck would move back into his old suite at the palace and Jack would move into the suite that the Van der Woodsen's used to live in. "Chuck my man, any women coming over tonight?"

Chuck smirked. "Blair will probably stop by but no one else, sorry Jack."

Jack sat down on the sofa next to Chuck. After his conversation with Serena Jack knew that Chuck wasn't going to like what he said next but he thought it was the best way to plant the seed of doubt in Chuck's head. "Mind sharing? The body on that one is amazing." Jack raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Chuck was immediately angry and defensive. "Blair wouldn't let you touch her, Jack. She's better than that."

Jack stood up, moving to leave. But before he opened the door he threw back, "Who's to say she hasn't already?"

Chuck snapped his head towards Jack. "I am." He then towards back towards the tv.

Jack shook his head and opened the door, only to find Blair standing there hand poised to knock. She shot him a glare and he smirked. As he walked past her he bent down placing his mouth close to her ear and whispered. "Don't worry Blair, he doesn't know yet. And if you decide that you would rather that he never did we could make some arrangements." Since Blair hadn't moved he took the opportunity to kiss that gorgeous neck of hers.

Blair stepped backwards out of the doorway and indicated that he should continue walking out and shut the door since Chuck hadn't seen her yet. She spoke quietly, "What kind of arrangements are we talking about?" The first thing that went through Blair's mind was Bart's letter. Had Jack somehow found out about her shares in the company?

Jack smirked a devious smirk, Blair was a smart girl, obviously smart enough to know to just give in now and not prolong the chase. "I was thinking a few nice candle light dinners followed by a repeat or so of New Year's Eve."

At first Blair was relieved; he didn't know what Bart had done but then the disgust settled in. "Wait, your idea of an arrangement is for us to date? Now I know where Chuck gets it from."

Jack didn't know if that was a yes or a no. "What do you mean where Chuck gets it from? And do I take that as you agreeing to negotiate an arrangement?"

Blair rolled her eyes. "Chuck kind of did that twice. Once he made a bet with me that my boyfriend wouldn't call before midnight on my birthday. If he did Chuck had to leave me alone forever and if he didn't I had to spend the night with him. The second time, Chuck blackmailed me with our relationship to keep me from seeing someone else. Why am I even telling you this? And no, I'm not willing to negotiate. In fact I am going to go right now and explain myself to Chuck and we'll see who he never talks to again." Blair said side stepping Jack and entering Chuck's suite. She didn't bother knocking she knew Chuck wouldn't care.

Jack just stood there and watched her go. He had hopped that she would come to her senses and agree to his terms but even though she hadn't she did give him some more information about her and Chuck. All of which, fit in exactly with the information that Serena had given him the day before.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Chuck knew the second Blair walked into the room. Ever since they were kids he had been hyperaware of her presence. "I have to say I expected you a little earlier, Waldorf."

Blair, who had been walking into the living room, stopped and said jokingly but confused. "How did you know it was me and what do you mean _earlier_?"

"I've told you before Waldorf, no one knows you like I do." Chuck said in a husky voice. He had been drinking since about an hour after he woke up and his voice was starting to sound raw. "By earlier, I meant that expected that you would come by to check up on me earlier in the day."

Blair couldn't help but smile when he was talking about how well he knew her, it was the truth. She always had a hard time keeping things from him for that very reason; yet right now she was keeping everything from him. She walked over and saw the bottle of scotch on the table, which she promptly grabbed.

"Put down the scotch and nobody gets hurt." Chuck said only half joking. He leaned forward off the couch and tried to grab the bottle.

Blair who was standing, easily kept the bottle out of reach. "By the look and smell of you I would say that you have had enough for today."

Chuck gave Blair the closest he could to a puppy dog face. "Blair give me back the bottle and we can 'talk' again because I know that's what you really want." Chuck even did the quotes with his fingers around the word talk.

She narrowed her eyes before sitting the bottle down. "Okay fine but only because I think it is important for you to talk about how you are feeling."

Chuck snatched the bottle from the table and took a swig something he rarely did with scotch. He was in an awful mood and he had no clue why. Chuck glared at Blair hoping she would leave but she sat down.

"So how have you been today?" Blair asked. She could tell he wasn't in a good mood by his demeanor.

Chuck stared for a minute, contemplating not answering and the likelihood that Blair would let him get away with that. But as he said before, he knew her and she wasn't leaving anytime soon so he started talking. "The same." He paused looking away. "Actually, worse. Today was worse."

_**The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time  
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out**_

Blair could hear the pain in his voice and she wanted to hold him like she had yesterday. Hold him and let time slip away, but she sat still and waited on him to continue.

He continued to look away but he knew that Blair could hear him. "It was like every second hurt and I just keep thinking why won't the pain stop? My dad and I hated each other most of the time so why does it hurt so much that he's gone? Then I realize that he is the only family I had."

_**I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you**_

When Blair heard Chuck say that Bart was his only family she reached out and placed one of her delicate hands on his arm. As she knew he would, Chuck turned to look at her; which was good because she wanted his full attention. "No he wasn't Chuck, you have me. I can be your family, if you'll just let me."

Chuck wanted so much to just collapse in her arms and let her do that, let her be there for him. She had been there every step of the way through his grief, or at least every step that he had allowed her to be there for. Blair had managed to know what he was thinking and feeling even before he knew himself. "I can't let you do that. I told you before Blair, you deserve better than that, better than me."

_**The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead  
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes  
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life**_

"Damn it Chuck," Blair said quietly but intensely, "I thought we had gotten through this yesterday. Let me be your family because whether you do or not I'm still going to be going through all of this. I can't stay away anymore than you can make the pain stop. You said earlier that you know me Chuck, well I know you too. I know who you are, I see a part of you that you keep hidden from everyone else and I'll be damned if I let that part or any other part of you die. So I don't care what you think I deserve, I want you."

Chuck felt like a weight had just been lifted off his shoulders; Blair tended to have that effect on him the past couple of days. She was like his rock. A source of constant support. "I don't know how I would get through this without you. Honestly, I don't even know how to get through a day without you." Chuck whispered.

_**I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain is there healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you**_

Chuck continued. "Every day the pain comes back but then you show up and you make me think that I can make it through the day and then by some miracle, I do."

Blair smiled and said jokingly. "Now if you would just quit fighting me on it we wouldn't have any problems at all now would we.

"I don't know why I keep pushing you away." Chuck said turning his head once more.

_**I'm hanging on another day just to see what you will throw my way  
And I'm hanging on to the words you say  
You said that I will be ok**_

Blair reached around and placed a hand on the opposite side of his face, effectively turning his head. "You know I was just kidding right? I know that you are going through a lot." Blair was bracing herself, preparing to tell him about what she had done.

He looked at her for a minute. She looked beautiful and so strong and she wanted to be here for him. That was when he realized why he was in a bad mood. What Jack had said about touching Blair had gotten to him. He didn't want her going anywhere especially not with a guy like him. Chuck knew he had to say something. "Jack said something today Blair. Something that scared me."

_**The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone  
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home**_

Blair tried to keep the fear from her eyes. Jack had said that he didn't tell Chuck but with Jack who knew for sure. "What did he say Chuck?"

Chuck narrowed his eyes but not at Blair. "He said something about how he wanted to touch you and implied that maybe he already had. I of course said that you would never let him near you. But what scared me and what has me in a bad mood is that I don't think I could handle losing you Blair. Without you I would have nothing left."

_**I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you**_

Blair made a decision in that moment, Chuck could never know. So instead she said, "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

Chuck did something then that surprised her. He leaned over and kissed her. He tasted like scotch and cigars but she didn't care. It had been so long since she had tasted him. She let him set the pace, not wanting to rush him.

_**I'm holdin' on  
I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you**_

Chuck kissed Blair, allowing their tongues to mingle, allowing her to make him feel something, anything other than hollowness and pain. Kissing her felt like filling up all the emptiness inside of him but that was way too corny for him to ever admit out loud. She started to unbutton his suit and at first he went with it but then he pulled away. "I don't want to drive you away and right now us sleeping together isn't a good idea." He had been afraid that she would be angry but Blair smiled and nodded her head.

"I should go and don't think that I am expecting you to say it too but I love you Chuck." She had gotten to the place that she felt the need to constantly remind him of that fact. Now that she had said it she just wanted to keep saying it, ensuring that he knew it was how she felt.

Chuck didn't protest, only nodded as Blair left. "Have a goodnight Blair, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

Blair was at the door by this point, but she stopped to talk "I thought you were suspended?"

He had been looking forward to telling Blair this because he knew that she would be proud, "I made an appointment with the headmistress for tomorrow morning and I am fairly confidant that after a little smoozing I'll be back in."

"I'm proud of you." Blair said sincerely.

Chuck smirked, "And you are my toughest critic." He couldn't help but remember the last time he had said that to her. So much had happened as a result of that evenings activities but he wouldn't go back and change any of it because then he wouldn't ever know what it was like to really be with Blair.

Blair smirked as well before leaving; however, as soon as she was out the door she felt like crying. Blair kept telling herself I have to be strong, I have to be strong. Reminding herself every couple of seconds that Chuck couldn't know. Soon enough she found herself knocking on Jack's door.

Jack opened the door a little surprised to see Blair standing there looking stunning as always, but he pleased none the less. "Can I help you with something Blair?" He asked raising his eyebrows and smirking.

Blair had her game face on, she could do this, "Let's discuss those arrangements." She said in a cold business like voice as she walked past him into his suite.

**Careful B, when making a deal with the devil the stakes are high and you're likely to lose.**

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**A/N: I hope you all like this chapter, the song is Broken by Lifehouse.**


	6. Dealing With the Devil

**I'm back at college so the updates will slow a little but I love you guys though, thanks for all the great reviews. :) Also I've added a little Gossip Girl narration in bold.**

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

**_________________________________________________________________________**

Jack thought for sure that he must be dreaming, he had played his cards well if Blair was coming to him so soon. "Well I must say Blair you gave up a lot sooner than I expected." He moved closer to her and added. "Or maybe you like me a little more than you are willing to admit.

Blair squirmed and backed away. "Ew gross no. Jack you repulse me." Normally, Blair would be twisting her ruby ring nervously but she hadn't seen it for a few weeks. She wasn't sure when it disappeared but one day in the shower she noticed it was gone.

"And yet you're here. Let me take your coat." Jack said with a smirk.

Blair crossed her arms holding onto her coat. "Like hell I'm letting you collect any of my clothes. I don't trust you and next thing you know you'll be asking for my pants."

Jack laughed. That was why he wanted her so badly; she was the only woman who ever challenged him. "Tempting Blair but not what I had in mind at the moment. If we are going to be doing business together this evening then you should be comfortable and if you leave your coat on all night you are going to burn up."

Blair glared but she reluctantly relinquished her coat. Jack grinned when he saw what she was wearing under her coat. It was a short black dress, more revealing than Blair would normally wear. "Why Blair you dressed for the evening."

Upon realizing exactly how she was dressed Blair tried to grab back her coat but Jack simply laughed and left to put it in his bedroom closet, correctly guessing that Blair wouldn't go there to retrieve it.

Blair stood in the living room wondering what she was even doing there and why she was had dressed like she did. Chuck was the answer to both questions. Chuck needed her now more than ever. She was the only one that he could even begin to trust right now. If he found out now that she had betrayed him he wouldn't be able to forgive her. He was relying on her, she was all he had left. He would shut down completely or worse he would do something destructive. She was going to do whatever it took to keep that from happening. Blair smiled when she looked down at her dress; normally she would never wear something like this but she had bought it specifically for Chuck, and from his kisses earlier he had appreciated the thought. Jack walked back and caught her smiling; he was also carrying two glasses of wine.

"You're so beautiful when you smile." Jack said in a tone Blair barely recognized. He sounded almost nice which was weird coming from Jack. He reached out his arm to hand her a glass of wine.

Blair gave him a look of utter disbelief. "You think I'm drinking anything that you give me. You probably put something in my drink."

Jack proceeded to take a sip of both glasses. "See." He said pushing one of the glasses towards her. Blair skeptically accepted the glass and took a sip. It was good wine. Better even than the stuff from her father's vineyard. She savored the flavor, closing her eyes and letting the wine dance on her taste buds. It was fruity yet still smooth and it even had a hint of vanilla and mocha.

Jack couldn't help but smile as he saw Blair melt into the wine. He had a feeling that she would enjoy it. It was the very best wine money could buy. He had spent a small fortune on it.

Blair inhaled before taking another sip. As she finished she asked in a dreamy voice. "What kind of vine is this? It feels like endorphins are rushing through my body."

Jack stepped towards her and took her glass, sitting it on a table. "That's probably enough for now then, and its Petrus Pomerol, the 1998 Merlot."

Blair's eyes widened. "AND WE'RE DRINKING IT?" She asked astounded.

Smiling Jack said, "Yes, that's what wine is for. What's the point in having it if you don't drink it?" The truth was he didn't generally share this wine with anyone, especially women. This was wine that he savored alone. But he had a desperate need to please Blair; to impress her.

"That wine is valued at almost $1,500 an ounce! I just drank like $3000 worth of wine in. Not to mention it is one of the rarest wines in the world. There are only like 200 bottles in existence." Blair stated still in awe of the fact that she had just drunk some of it. That was extravagant even for her.

"Yes, and I have about 10 or so more of them. Let's just say I'm a connoisseur of the finest wines in addition to the finest women." Jack added, stepping closer to Blair.

She backed up quickly and said suddenly serious. "Jack, why are you doing this? Not that the wine isn't fabulous. But I'm in high school, you're like ten years older than me. Why won't you just leave me and Chuck alone?"

Jack almost whispered when he spoke."I wish I knew." It sounded as though he was actually a little ashamed of himself. As though maybe he didn't even understand it. Which was true, he had no idea why he couldn't stay away from Blair Waldorf. He only knew that he needed her like a fish needs the water. When she was around life was better. A girl had never had this effect on him before and he wasn't sure that he liked it. All he knew was that there was a burning feeling in his gut that made him want Blair; need Blair. He looked straight into her eyes. "But, I want you."

Blair looked away and there was a moment of awkward silence; before Blair said in a quiet voice, "Clearly." Then she looked away; obviously upset.

He handed her back her wine glass. "Here, have some more wine and we'll discuss our arrangement."

Blair looked towards the door. She wanted to walk through that door and never come back. But if she did Chuck would find out what she had done in a moment of weakness and desperation. She thought back to that night one more time. Why had she gone to the Palace Bar in the first place. Probably to feel like she was closer to Chuck. Either way she definitely had no intention of meeting Jack there. Jack had been good to her while they were looking for Chuck together. He hadn't treated her like some kind of love struck high school girl. But he _had_ begun at that point, to make advances on her. He had asked her out more than once but she had always turned him down. She remembered that on New Year's Eve she hadn't wanted to be alone. So maybe she had been looking for Jack; at least subconsciously. The last thing she remembered that night was kissing him in the bar.

Blair went to the couch and sat down. As she did she felt something small and hard press into her thigh from the side of the couch. Reaching down between the couch arm and cushion she felt something kind of sharp. Closing her hand around it and pulling it out, Blair opened her hands to find a ring, not just any ring, her ruby ring. She had been here on this couch; this is where she had lost her ring. As Blair stared down at the ring she had a flash of a memory. She remembered being here. Closing her eyes, she tried to remember more. It was strange almost like a lightning storm.

Blair remembered Jack kissing her on this couch. He had laid her down here, kissed her lips, her neck, and tangled his hands in her hair. Blair suddenly snapped out of it and found herself gasping for breath. Jack was now standing right in front of her looking worried. "Blair, are you okay."

She looked away from him. "Fine, I just remembered something from New Year's." Blair held up her ring. "I found this in the couch and then I remembered being here; that night."

Jack's eyes widened. Blair was starting to remember things. It scared him a little. She would be angry at him if she managed to remember everything. Jack didn't want to think about that possibility, she was mad at him enough already. "Good, I'm glad you're starting to remember. Now what do you say we do some negotiating."

Blair still wasn't happy. The flashes of that night only made her more frightened of Jack. He wasn't a good guy, but she didn't know what else to do. She had to keep Chuck from finding out; especially now that she knew that it was true. She looked at Jack. "Name your terms and I'll tell you if I accept them."

Jack smirked, Blair would do that. "We date; in secret of course. I wouldn't have much of a bargaining chip to get you to go out with me if people already knew."

"I'm not having sex with you." Blair interrupted. "Not again."

As much as he wanted her, Jack also found himself wanting to please her; wanting to give her everything that she wanted. It was hard for him to say what he replied with. "The dating will lead where ever I wish it to."

Blair turned her head again, this time in disgust. She would hold him off on the sex for as long as possible. Maybe she could find another way out of this. In the meantime she was thankful that he didn't know anything about Bart's letter to her. She didn't know what she was going to do about that but she was certain that Jack finding out would not be good. Maybe if Jack was focused on pursuing her he would leave Chuck and the company alone. That after all is the more important matter."Okay." Blair practically whispered.

Jack smiled. "Well now, that wasn't so hard was it?" Blair grimaced. "I'll pick you up tomorrow night at eight and we'll go out for dinner."

Blair's head turned back with one of her infamous glares on it. "I can't tomorrow; Chuck and I already have plans." Blair said as she took a sip of the wine.

"Change them." Jack replied nonchalantly.

"You know that I hate you, right?" Blair asked as she stood up to leave.

Jack couldn't deny that it hurt to hear her say that but he bounced back quickly. "Hate is a passionate emotion and therefore only one miniscule step away from love."

Blair who was already walking towards the door snapped her head back around. "Let's make something clear right now. I am doing this because you have given me no other choice. I could never force myself to feel anything but disgust for you. I hate you for what you are doing to me and it is a hate as far from love as it could possibly be. So have no delusions Jack. I will never love you." She saw the look on Jack's face; he was absolutely furious. He looked like he could or maybe even would hurt her. So she turned back and kept walking but she heard him spit in one of the most hateful voices she had ever heard. "See you tomorrow night bitch."

Jack felt like his insides were ripping out so he had said the first mean thing that came to his mind. Even as he heard Blair slam the door he didn't care. Fuck this, he had won. Blair didn't have to like him, to have feelings for him, he didn't care, he could make her do whatever he wanted and he would. Oh he would.

**My, my, my, everything is getting twisted on the UES. I for one can't wait to know what happens next. But heed my warning from before B, you are getting in deep.**

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**A/N: Sorry it took so long guys. I hope you enjoy it :)**


	7. Don't Start Something You Can't Finish

**I'm not calling the hiatus officially over but this is more of a break in the hiatus. I was listening to my ipod and heard the song I used and I was inspired. So much so that I couldn't concentrate on work and wrote a chapter :) Love you guys.**

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

**________________________________________________________________________**

Blair really didn't want to answer her phone. She was well aware that it was Jack and she didn't want to hear anything that he had to say. It was bad enough that she was having to walk to school this morning. Chuck would have picked her up but he had his meeting with the headmistress. After the third call she decided that if she didn't answer Jack would just get angrier and do something stupid. "What do you want Jack?" Blair asked into the phone.

Jack's voice was nice at first. "Good morning to you too sweetheart." Then it suddenly changed, becoming biting . "Here's the deal, from now on you answer your phone when I call. I'm not going to tolerate being ignored."

Blair had known that this was coming. It was Jack after all; he was probably the biggest control freak on the planet. More so even than her. "Fine Jack, is that all? I answer when you call me? Okay good, nice that we had this chat." Blair said rapidly getting ready to hang up.

"Not so fast Blair. I did actually have a reason for calling you." Jack said almost scoldingly. "I did originally want to wish you a good morning. And to tell you that I've thought about it and I really don't want you seeing my nephew anymore. If we are going to date then I want it to be public."

At first Blair thought that she must have misheard him. There was no way he had said what she thought he did. At that, she couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm serious Blair. I want you to stop hanging out with Chuck all the time." Jack said into the phone.

Blair almost snorted. "You've got to be kidding me Jack." When Jack didn't say anything she continued; now realizing that Jack wasn't joking. "You're not kidding. Oh my god, Jack there's no way I'm agreeing to that. In fact that defeats the whole purpose of our little arrangement doesn't it? If I break things off with Chuck who cares if he knows what I did with you on New Years Eve?"

Jack thought about it for a minute; Blair's points were valid. He was stupid for not realizing that she was entirely too smart to be manipulated by him. It was one of the things that drew him to her. He liked to be in control of every situation, every relationship and Blair was something he had no control over. It was intoxicating to be challenged and talked back to the way she did. So if he wasn't going to be able to get her to stop seeing Chuck; he would just have to get Chuck to stop seeing Blair. "Okay Blair you win this one; keep seeing my little nephew."

She was rolling her eyes. How could he have been stupid enough to think that he could win that argument. She was just glad that he had given in quickly; it would have been annoying to continue the argument. "Okay good, so are we done now? I'm almost to school."

Jack could help but smile. Blair obviously had no idea that he was parked across the street from Constance in a town car. "Yes Blair we're done for now. However, I am having something sent over for you today; be sure to wear it tonight. I'll pick you up at eight." Jack continued watching as she approached the school completely oblivious to his presence and seemingly to the fact that he had just spoken to her. He loved just to watch her walk. The way her hips swung back and forth made a heat rise up below his gut. This girl, no Blair Waldorf was certainly more than that, this woman, was going to be the death of him; he was sure of it. He was lost in his thoughts of her; watching her speak to her various subjects like the Queen she was. Still on the phone with Blair, Jack got out of the car to watch her ascend the stair steps of the school. "Blair are you still there? Did you even here what I said, I'll pick you up at eight."

Blair couldn't help but smirk as she spoke next. "Yes Jack I heard you. Is that what you're wearing tonight on our date because if it is you might want to change your pants."

Jack was confused what was Blair talking about what he was wearing and changing his . . . "SHIT!" Jack cursed into the phone as he felt someone bump into him and something steaming hot soaking his pants; specifically in the area of the crotch. He looked towards a giggling group of girls that he recognized as some of the very subjects he had been thinking about previously. Over the phone he could hear Blair laughing. By this time she was at the top of the stares. "Fucking bitch." Jack spat into the phone.

Blair turned around to face him as she spoke; her voice cold and challenging. "That's the second time today Jack that you have thought me less observant than I actually am. I don't suggest doing it again." With that she snapped her phone closed and continued into the school. She needed to get to the headmistresses office; Chuck needed her.

Jack watched as Blair Waldorf continued into the school like the Goddess she was. Most men would have been pissed off at her at that moment but instead he was incredibly turned on. Oh yes he was looking forward to tonight.

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Blair was waiting outside the headmistress's office door when Chuck emerged. His head was down and he looked so beaten; so defeated. Blair's first thought was that he hadn't been allowed back in. That had to be crushing for him. She instantly felt awful what if this set him down that awful path again. But then Chuck looked up.

Surprise registered in his eyes. He immediately tried to change his whole demeanor; to appear happy. He knew it was too late and he saw Blair shake her head and turn to leave. "Blair wait, please." She stopped but didn't turn around. "Damn it Blair I'm trying."

When Blair turned around she wasn't angry like Chuck expected; instead he saw that she was close to tears. "Blair." Chuck said this time in a softer voice; one he reserved for her alone.

Blair closed her eyes trying to stop the tears that she felt burning behind her eye lids. "How much exactly have you been faking around me?" She said opening her eyes and looking at him.

It was Chuck's turn to look away. "A lot." He said quietly. "I'm trying though Blair."

Blair shook her head. "You still don't get it do you?" When Chuck didn't answer she continued. "You can't do this alone Chuck. You have to tell me what you're thinking and how your feeling or you're not going to get better."

_**Tears are forming in your eyes,  
A storm is warning in the skies,  
The end of the world it seems,  
You bend down and you fall on your knees,  
Well get back on your feet ,yeah, **_

"It's hard okay." Chuck said defensive once more. "I want to let you in; I want to tell you what I'm going through but I don't think that you can handle it. I don't think that you can really handle all I'm feeling." Chuck was almost screaming. "Everything inside of me is scrapping and ripping me to shreds and I spend all my time worrying about whether or not you're believing me when I say I'm getting better." Chuck was lashing out at her again and he knew it. But this was one of those times that he didn't care.

_**Don't look away, don't run away,  
Baby it's only life,  
Don't lose your faith, don't run away,  
It's only life. **_

Blair couldn't hide the hurt from her eyes; but she recovered quickly. "Chuck there's nothing that will make the pain stop. There isn't a cure and I know that but there's some things that you need to realize. You can't keep going on like this, hiding things inside is only going to make everything hurt more because you are dealing with it all yourself."

_**You were always playing hard,  
Never could let down your guard,  
You can't win, if you never give in,  
To that voice within, saying pick up your chin,  
Baby let go of it , yeah, **_

"I really am trying Blair; today was just a bad day and I didn't want to put that on you." Chuck said quietly.

Blair walked over to him and hugged him tightly to her. "I can handle it; I promise. If I couldn't I wouldn't be here. The way you are living isn't good though Chuck. What's the point in being alive at all if you hole yourself up in your room drinking instead of living. Your Dad wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

_**Don't look away, don't run away ,  
Baby, it's only life.  
Don't lose your faith, don't run away,  
Baby it's only life.**_

"I'm here now aren't I. The headmistress let me back in and I start my classes today." Chuck said mustering a small smile for Blair.

She laid her head on his shoulder. "You're going to get through this Chuck. I'm here, Nate will be here, and so would Serena, Eric, and Lily if you would let them."

"I don't want to talk about them right now." Chuck said with a frosty voice.

Blair had felt his body freeze up. She turned her head to his neck kissed him once. Pulling him closer to her until he relaxed. "Sorry." She whispered.

_**Take your hesitance, and your self defense,  
Leave them behind, it's only life,  
Don't be so afraid of facing every day,  
Just take your time, it's only life,  
I'll be your stepping stone, don't be so alone,  
Just hold on tight, it's only life, **_

Blair stepped back and took his hand.

"I couldn't do this without you Blair." Chuck said in a sincere voice. "You are the only person who stood by me through all of this with my father. Even while I was off doing God knows what; you were here doing nothing but worrying about me."

Blair squeezed his hand and gave him a smile. What she had done with Jack was going to haunt her for the rest of her life. Even when she was protecting Chuck it hurt because he had so much faith in her that she couldn't help but feel guilty knowing that she in no way deserved that kind of faith.

Chuck who was still anxious said in a voice whose confidence level was much higher than his own. "Let's do this."

She looked to Chuck and said with a large smile on her face. "You sure?"

_**Oh..don't look away, don't run away,  
Baby it's only life,  
Don't lose your faith, don't run away, baby, it's only life (repeat),  
It's only life, it's only life,  
Don't look away…**_

Chuck grinned and instead of walking forward he pulled her into a kiss. Blair pulled back giggling as she heard phones snapping. She looked around and shrugged before pulling him towards where she saw Nate standing. Chuck could do this; she knew he could as long as he never found out about Jack. As they were walking Blair made her decision final; effectively sealing the deal once and for all. "By the way, I'm going to have to cancel our plans for tonight. I'm really sorry I'm just behind in my homework."

Chuck leaned down and kissed her forehead. "With all the time you've spent with me, I'm not surprised. I'll be fine by myself for one night. Do what you need to do." Chuck said managing a slight smirk.

So it was done. Blair had officially started it. The deal with Jack was all hypothetical before this point but now she had started lying about it. Blair was going to go out with Jack tonight; she was going to play his game, whether she wanted to or not.

**Hello my little Upper East Siders. I hope everyone is having a glorious morning. I spotted a tender moment between B and C. Somebody pass me a hanky or a barf bag. Where are the sparks when you need them? Come on B, don't get boring on us.**

**xoxo**

**gossip girl**

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Jack still hadn't left the front of the school when he got the text from Gossip Girl. When he saw what it said and the attached pictures from several different angles he threw his phone at the windshield. Damn them. Chuck for having everything he wanted and Blair for doing this to him. For making him fall for her, then turning around and running off to his nephew. He placed his head in his hands with his elbows propped on the steering wheel. He needed to get Blair in a compromising position and he need Chuck to see it and after a few moments he knew the perfect way.

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**A/N: Sorry for the delay, I love you guys :) Reviews are appreciated. **

**Song: It's Only Life - Kate Voeguele**


	8. What Didn't Happen

**IMPORTANT: So here's the deal guys, I'm basically swamped right now. Last semester I went for about two months or so without updating and I don't want that to happen again. I really enjoy writing so I am going to make a serious effort to update once a week. All three stories will be updated every Sunday evening if I have something to post (This week will just be Remember and Nothing, Games next week I promise). I love you guys so much for being so patient and understanding. *hugs***

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. This one isn't really M but it is a pretty high T lol.**

**________________________________________________________________________**

Blair walked into her house rather tired from the long day at school. Chuck had seemed to have a good day after their little scene this morning. They had walked around all day holding hands and acting, well, acting like a couple. It had seemed perfectly normal and she had loved it.

She saw a vase of flowers on the table as soon as she walked into the foyer and her first thought was that Chuck shouldn't have done that. Then she noticed the box next to the flowers and her heart dropped. By this point Blair already knew that she had been wrong about who the flowers were from but she couldn't stop herself from reading the card to confirm it.

_Blair,_

_Sorry about the flowers, I couldn't resist; they are as intricate and perfect as you and as you well know I like pretty things. I promise you an evening you'll never forget. See you tonight at eight. _

_Yours,_

_Jack _

_Yours, r_eally he had signed with _Yours? _What the hell was he thinking? Blair immediately tore the card into shreds and threw the tattered pieces at the trash can. She noticed the flowers for the first time. They were stargazer lilies and he had been correct in saying that they were beautiful. His note had creeped her out though. There was something about it that was too much.

Blair ran her hand along the box on the table. There was no telling what its contents held; this was Jack after all. For all she knew it might be lingerie. Finally, Blair worked up the courage to just open the box. There was a note on top of an evening gown along with a couple of other smaller boxes.

She rolled her eyes and picked up the note.

_Blair, _

_The contents of this box are yours and I expect them to be on you when I pick you up tonight. Lastly there is a bottle of bubble bath in your bathroom with a ribbon on it. Go relax for a while before our date. _

_Once again, yours_

_Jack_

A bubble bath? He was suggesting she take a bubble bath before their date. Her first reaction was that he really did need to get his head examined; but the more she thought about it, the more tempting the option seemed. She was tired and a bubble bath would feel so good.

So what if it was what Jack wanted her to do, what did it matter if she did it on her own free will. But first she needed to hang up the dress so that it didn't get wrinkled. She lifted the dress from the box and was surprised when she held it out; it was gorgeous. It was a black dress, long and classic. It was almost a Grecian cut with a swooped neck in front and a low back. There was a slit up the side but nothing ostentatious. Jack had done well and she was thankful that he hadn't done something worse.

There were other boxes inside the dress box but by now she was looking so forward to the bath that she called Dorota to hang up her dress and went on upstairs where sure enough there was bubble bath resting on the counter. Blair raised the bottle to her nose and some of the most amazing scents assaulted her senses. Grapefruit, rose buds, and honey, all rolled into one bottle. She looked at the label, Always, by Lollia.

She moved to run the bath water and saw yet another note attached to her faucet. She was slightly alarmed that Jack had been able to get into her bathroom but shook it off as nothing. Bass men were like that.

_Blair,_

_I see you've decided to go ahead with the bubble bath, good. The scent I picked out is as uniquely you as the flowers. I hope you enjoy it. There's also a matching bottle of perfume on your vanity in your bedroom. Enjoy your bubble bath._

_Yours, _

_Jack_

Blair ran the bath water at that point against her better judgment but by then she wanted so much to just relax that she couldn't help it. She had been so tense lately. Easing herself into the bubble bath was one of the most enjoyable things she had done in weeks.

Blair didn't know how long she was in the hot bath but she did know that when she finally did get out it wasn't hot anymore. She wrapped herself up in her bathrobe and walked into her bedroom only to find that it was already 6 thirty. She had been in the bath for over two hours. Immediately she started getting ready because it usually took her at least an hour and a half on her best days. By the time seven forty five rolled around she was finally dressed and ready to go. Blair had even added a little of the perfume Jack had purchased before she turned to look in the mirror. She had to admit that Jack had done well in all aspects. It was creepy that he had dressed her up like a Barbie doll but everything about the dress perfectly accentuated her best features. Blair walked over next to her bed where she had found a pair of black heels earlier, with yet another note saying about the same thing as all of the others. She placed the heels on her feet and took a long look at herself in the mirror; where ever they were going tonight she was certainly not going to be under dressed. That's when she remembered the other boxes downstairs.

She turned to head out the door before noticing that Dorota had moved the box upstairs. She quickly walked over and opened the larger of the two boxes. Blair couldn't help but gasp as she withdrew a sparkling diamond necklace. It was extravagant and she recognized it immediately as being a Bulgari. Her fingers quickly moved to the other box where she found a stunning pair of matching tear drop diamond earrings.

Blair was fastening the necklace around her neck when she heard Dorota answer the door and call her downstairs. Blair braced herself, she could do this and with that she ran for the bathroom.

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Jack was waiting in the foyer impatiently. What was taking Blair so f'ing long to get downstairs. He had given her specific instructions to be ready at 8 and if she didn't hurry they were going to miss their reservations; it was already eight thirty. He motioned Dorota over, "What is taking her so long?"

"Miss. Blair be right down Mister Jack. Five minutes." Dorota said worriedly. She knew Miss. Blair was still cleaning herself up after her episode and didn't want Mr. Jack to go running up there.

Jack waited five minutes and he was about to head for the stairs when he saw her. She was breathtaking in the dress he had personally picked out for her and the jewelry he had purchased sparkled on her smooth unblemished skin. He knew that his face must have registered a look of completely shock because Blair spoke as she took hold of the banister.

"I don't know whether to take your look of surprise as a compliment or something else Jack. I did everything to your exact specifications." Blair said tartly as she descended the stairs.

Jack breathed in deeply as she continued her descent. "You look stunning Blair and it was worth every minute you were late to see you look this incredible."

She raised her eyebrows and smirked as she reached the floor. "I'm never late, everyone else is simply early. And of course I look stunning." Blair was taking control of this situation whether Jack liked it or not so he better hold on tight.

He shook his head a little before simply submitting. "Of course. Now, unfortunately that is not the motto of our restaurant of choice this evening so we have to go if we want to eat." Jack said holding out her coat for her; Dorota had retrieved it for him much earlier.

Blair allowed him to help her with her coat before taking the arm he was offering her and stepping into the elevator. They rode the elevator in near silence, but not an uncomfortable one really. He walked her to the limo and opened the door for her which she appreciated. So he could be a gentleman after all. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Blair asked sharply after he had joined her in the limo.

"Well if you must know, I'm taking you to Le Bernardin on 7th for dinner." Jack said politely. He would have never taken this type of treatment from any other woman before Blair Waldorf but she seemed to be the exception for all of his rules. He watched as her eyebrows went up once again, he knew he had done well to reserve a spot at that restaurant. To do so was difficult even for the likes of the Upper East Side Princess. "Then I thought we could head over to The Modern for desert." Jack adding smirking. The Modern had one of the best desert menus in town.

Blair was starting to think that the evening might be tolerable until she heard him say, "Then I thought we could head over to The Modern for desert." She immediately flinched. The flashback was so strong she felt like she was there again, Nate, Chuck, the Cotillion. It all came rushing back so quickly. That she moved as far away from Jack as possible. She was doing it again, two guys were in her life however much she didn't want one of them there and it was her fault. One moment of weakness with a guy she didn't like and here she was in the same position she was over a year ago. Did things never really change?

Jack didn't know what was going on, one moment Blair actually seemed to be enjoying herself the next she was reacting as though he said that he was going to take her back to his place to make a sex video. For a moment he was terrified, what if she had remembered?

Blair was more than a little embarrassed as she calmed herself down. Regardless of the fact that she hated Jack, she didn't have any sort of excuse for her actions just then.

Jack reached over and placed his hand on her arm. "Is everything all right Blair?"

She answered quickly. "Everything's fine Jack, I just remembered something strange."

"About New Year's Eve?" Jack asked quickly.

Blair looked at Jack curiously, "No, what would give you that impression?"

Jack simply shrugged and answered. "I just thought that if you remembered something it would be from there since that seems to be the only gap in your memory."

Blair took his arm once more as they were stepping out of his limo. "No, just last year before the Cotillion, Nate said those exact words to me, 'Then I thought we could head over to The Modern for desert.' It just threw me back to hear them again."

Jack was relieved to say the least. She wasn't suppose to remember. They walked into the restaurant and were seated immediately at the best table in the house.

Once again Blair found herself to be a little impressed with Jack; but for all of his charms she couldn't let herself forget that she wasn't here because she wanted to be. They spent most of dinner talking about unsubstantial things, Australia, Blair's parents, her plans for the future, anything to fill the awkward silence that would take over if they allowed it.

Jack was enthralled by Blair, the more he learned about her the more he wanted her. For him dinner flew by. As they strolled down the street to the Modern, he had picked a close desert bar for a reason, he put his arm around her.

Blair immediately tensed up at the feel of his arm snaking around her back. The evening had been tolerable, Jack could clearly be an okay guy when he was getting his way but she still kept the fact that he was forcing her to go on this date close in her mind. Even though she tensed up Jack didn't remove his arm until they made their way into the Modern where he moved to hold her hand instead. "Jack quit it." Blair snapped, struggling to remove her hand.

His jaw instantly locked. Things had gone well so far. Sure Blair had tensed up a few minutes earlier but he hadn't let that dissuade him, not when dinner had gone so smoothly. Instead of letting go of her hand he laced his fingers through her own. "May I remind you, I get to set the terms of our arrangement, not you?"Jack hissed near her ear.

Blair pushed him away and into a cabinet in the entrance area. "Not if I decide it's not worth it."

Jack looked around noticing that people were looking at them before turning back towards the door. "You know what Blair let's just go. I've got a last minute change of plans for this evening, he said with a snarl.

Blair glared at him. "Or we could just eat desert and you can take me home." People were definitely staring at him at this point.

Jack pulled a camera out of his pocket. "I gave the waiter a nice tip to snap a couple shots of us earlier. Unless you want these lovely pictures of us entering the restaurant followed by us eating a nice romantic dinner together. Then the pictures the limo driver snapped in the limo. Yes I know you thought those flashes were idiots with their brights on. All sent to Chuck, because that could be arranged."

Blair tried to hold the façade but it didn't last long. "Fine, lead the way."

Jack smirked as he laced his fingers back through hers and led her out to the limo. They rode to the Palace Hotel in silence and as they got there Blair realized this wasn't just where Jack lived; it was where Chuck lived too. Blair eyes grew wide as she turned to Jack. "Please can't we do this at my house?"

Jack saw how frightened Blair was and for a moment he didn't care; in fact the sadist in him came out. "I guess you'll just have to be careful not to run into anyone you don't want to see."

Blair couldn't stop the tears that had been burning in her eyes from falling as she looked back at him. "I hate you." Blair said as she stepped out of the limo.

He came around to her side to walk her in but she was already in the lobby by the time he got there. Jack chased after her and just barely made the elevator with her. "Now now Blair, running away isn't very nice."

She looked away from him, biting her lip and tapping her foot, waiting impatiently for the elevator door to come to a stop on Jack's floor. Please, please don't let Chuck see me, was all Blair could think. She exhaled as the elevator came to a stop and walked briskly towards Jack's room.

Jack chuckled as he slowly meandered towards his doorway; taking his precious time. Blair was adorable when she was furious. As he reached the door he stood in front of her for a minute.

"Jack open the damn door." Blair said angrily.

Jack smirked coming up with an idea that was sure to be fun; at least for him. "I think I'll let you do the honors Blair."

Blair snapped without even thinking. "What are you talking about Jack? You know I don't have a key to your apartment."

The smirk grew more pronounced. "Oh, I know, which by the way I think that should be arranged. This would be much easier if you could just let yourself in to see me from now on. But for now I think I'll let you get the key yourself; it's in my back pocket." Jack said as he lifted out his arms.

"You cannot be serious Jack. I am not groping your ass to get the key to the room." Blair said with venom dripping in her voice.

Jack chuckled once more. "I'm not in any hurry Blair, you're the one who wants to get out of the hallway."

At that Blair shot him a look of pure hatred before reaching around him with both hands and sliding them into his back pockets, she wanted this over with. Blair was searching his back pocket as he let out a groan. At that he suddenly put his arms down around her pulling her to him.

Blair was still searching his back pockets as Jack started running his hands up and down her back; letting them slip lower to cup her ass. Finally, she found it, buried in a wad of money. As soon as she did, Blair pulled away from him. "You disgust me she spat" as she opened the door.

He slapped her on the ass and she couldn't help but yelp as she moved quickly into his suite.

"Take a seat on the couch Blair." Jack ordered as he walked over to his stereo turning on some low music and then moved to his bar to get out their bottle of wine from the other night. He poured them each a glass and walked over to join he on the couch. He handed her a glass and she took it; this time rather easily. Whether it was that she actually trusted him more or just really wanted to taste the wine once more he didn't know, nor did he actually care.

After she took a sip he moved closer to her, sitting her wine glass aside. Blair backed all the way to the back of the couch but Jack positioned himself trapping her. He then reached up to cup the side of her face and leaned in to kiss her. She tasted so good; the wine was mixing with the taste that he remembered from before. Whatever it was it was so quintessentially Blair. Jack moved his tongue in and out of her mouth without much of a response from her so he pulled back. "Blair this isn't good enough. If this is all I'm getting I might as well just call Chuck down here right now."

Blair looked at him for a moment, think carefully about her next decision. "Okay, I'll play along Jack, but I have one condition." She paused and he looked at her expectantly. "I'm not having sex with you."

Jack stared into her eyes for a minute. He could let her win this one . . . for now because eventually he would have what he wanted. Blair was worth waiting for, worth fighting for. He thought back to New Year's Eve. They had been kissing on this very couch, kissing and touching each other. It had been everything he had thought tasting her would be, she was so soft so delicious. Then she had started feeling sick. Blair had run to the bathroom but hadn't quite made it. Her dress had been ruined. He as a rule hated taking care of drunk girls. Usually he just threw them out of his room sending them on their way. But with Blair he didn't seem to mind. He was gentle as he removed her ruined dress from a passed out Blair only to find she had nothing on under it. He had taken a generous look but he knew Blair enough to know that she would embarrassed to wake up naked so Jack had taken off his own shirt and put it on her before carrying her to his bed. The next morning she had been the first to suggest that they had slept together and he had wanted her so badly by that point that he let her believed that they had. Then when he saw that he could use that to manipulate her he had exploited the little exaggeration. Blair hadn't remembered anything yet; which meant that he had time still, time to convince her that they could be great together. So Jack nodded his head. "Okay, we won't sleep together."

With that Blair allowed him to kiss her once more and this time she did as she promised and kissed him back.

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A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I worked really really hard on it. If any of you are interested, there are links to Blair's dress, necklace, and bubble bath on my profile. Reviews are always appreciated.

xoxo

kate


	9. She Already Knows What's Important

**IMPORTANT: So I'm still pretty busy but I'm going to try to keep updating. Hope you enjoy. **

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. ****CAUTION - the end is slightly M rated. **

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As Blair got on the elevator on the twenty first floor she closed her eyes for the few moments before it reached floor eighteen and almost fell asleep. She knew she hadn't been getting enough sleep but she didn't know that it was effecting her this much. It was only ten thirty yet she could barely hold her eyes open as she moved from Jack's suite to Chuck's. Ever since the night a few weeks back that Jack took her out to dinner it had been like this; either she went to dinner with Chuck, then to Jack 's room around eleven or she went out with Jack before going to Chuck's. Pretty much anytime she wasn't with Chuck her claim was that she was working on homework; so she was of course behind in that as well. On top of all of this she was so confused about what to do about the company. She had heard that there was an important decision coming up and she didn't know for sure that Chuck was really ready to start making company decisions.

As she walked towards Chuck's room all she could think about was how much she just wanted to go to sleep. She pulled out the room key from her back pocket and tried to open the door. It took her a few tries to realizes that she was trying to open Chuck's door with the key to Jack's suite. After swearing under her breath, Blair retrieved the correct key and opened the door to find Chuck sitting on his couch with one hand in his hair, scribbling madly on a piece of paper, doing homework of all things.

When she walked into his room, Chuck was instantly aware of her presence; not that that was anything unusual for him. He always had been able to tell the moment that she walked in a room and recently he had even begun to know when she was on her way. Like today he had known that she was outside his door for a few minutes before she came in, it had distracted him from his calculus homework. This was a new sensation though and he didn't always trust it. He remembered sensing her a few weeks back when Jack had been talking about Blair and drove him so crazy. Chuck had been almost positive that Blair had been right outside the door, but it was almost an hour after Jack had left that Blair had gotten there; so he wasn't quite sure that it wasn't anymore than prior knowledge that she was suppose to visit. That considered he had returned to work; but when she actually opened the door he knew that he had been right and turned his head and smiled.

Seeing Chuck smile at her made Blair, if only for a second, think that she was normal; that their relationship was normal.

"Hey." He said softly, still smiling.

"Hey." She replied, walking over and setting her stuff on the chair.

Chuck moved his books and motioned for her to join him on the couch. As she sat down he looked at her for a moment and noticed the faint circles under her eyes hidden beneath her concealer and slowness with which she moved.

"So, how's the big company merger looking?" Blair said, trying her best to sound peppy.

Chuck examined her face carefully. The only make up he could tell she was wearing was the concealer and maybe some powder but definitely not her normal routine. She really looked exhausted and stressed. The forced peppiness was just another tip off. "The merger seems to be going fine. They want an executive decision from me by next week on whether or not we are going through with it though."

Blair nodded and stifled a yawn. "You can do it, I believe in you."

He looked at her straight in the eye and reached out to brush a lock of hair behind her face. "Are you okay Blair?" Chuck said, concern filling his voice.

Blair looked at him for a moment and thought about trying to cover it up but then she realized that she was just too tired tonight. So she allowed the tears that had been building behind her eyes to pour down her face.

Immediately, Chuck reached out and pulled her to him. He held her against his chest as she sobbed; rubbing her back and making soothing noises. "It's okay Blair, it's okay."

"I'm just so tired Chuck; so tired." Blair said between sobs.

He just continued to hold her. Damn it this was his fault, he had been taking too much out of her lately, asking for too much. Chuck reached under her and lifted. He was a little surprised that Blair didn't struggle at all as he picked her up and started carrying her towards his room. He laid her on his bed and took off her shoes before going to his closet to get one of his shirts for her. Chuck laid the shirt on the bed and kissed her forehead. "Sleep, okay."

As he was standing up Blair's arm reached out and caught his. "Where are you going?" She asked, surprisingly calm.

He smiled down at her, "To the next room; I'll sleep on my couch."

"That's stupid Chuck. This bed is plenty big enough, you shouldn't have to do that." Blair said fairly firmly.

Chuck shrugged. "I don't mind. I don't want you to be uncomfortable." At that he started to leave again, since Blair hadn't said anything else. He of course wanted to stay with her, but he didn't want to push her. "Goodnight Blair."

Right as he reached the door he heard her call out. "Chuck, wait." He turned back around to see her sitting in bed. "I want you to stay with me."

Chuck looked at for a minute with a puzzled expression on his face, as if he debating what to do.

"Please." Blair added, looking at him with eyes impossible to refuse. So Chuck nodded his head and went to his drawer to retrieve his pajama bottoms.

"I'm going to the bathroom to change, so you can have a little privacy if you want. Let me know when you're done and I'll come back." Chuck said heading that direction.

While he was gone, Blair took off her dress and headband, placing them in a neat pile on the floor, before pulling his shirt over her head. She couldn't resisted holding the fabric to her nose and breathing in. It smelled just like Chuck. After inhaling a few more times she called out. "I'm done Chuck."

Almost immediately Chuck walked back in the room. Blair couldn't help but look. It had been awhile since she had seen Chuck shirtless and she had to admit that he was more toned than she had remembered.

Chuck caught Blair staring and smirked. "See something you like Waldorf?"

She blushed furiously and threw a pillow at his face as a way of answering.

Chuck caught the pillow and chuckled as he moved to the other side of the bed. He climbed in cautiously and reached over to turn off the light. At first, he left a lot of bed in between them but he noticed that she slowly began to inch backwards towards him. Chuck, taking the hint, moved his body towards her until she was snuggled up against him. He wrapped his arm around her before leaning in and kissing her hair. "Goodnight Waldorf."

Blair reached down and squeezed his hand wrapped around her waist. "Thank you Chuck."

They had been laying there peacefully for a few minutes when Chuck realized that her ass was pressed directly against the crotch of his pajamas. Damn it he cursed quietly as he realized he had a growing hard on from being so close to her. With that Blair turned on her back, then to face him.

Chuck was startled. He had thought for sure that she had been asleep. Instead she leaned her head towards him and kissed him; hard, right on the mouth.

Chuck couldn't help but deepen the kiss. She was like a thirst he could never quench. After a few minutes of passionate kissing, he broke them apart. "Blair, I thought you were tired?"

She laid her forehead against his. "I was." She said, almost giggling before kissing him again. This time the kissing became fiery. One of her legs wrapped itself around Chuck's torso and she pulled herself against him even tighter.

Chuck groaned against her mouth. "Blair"

She pulled away a few inches to look him in the eye before whining, "What?"

"You're killing me; that's what." Chuck practically growled indicating something downward with his eyes.

Blair smirked before reaching her hand down into his pajama bottoms to pull him to her. "That's not a problem Chuck." She wasn't sure when she had gone from tired to horny but all she knew was that she wanted him inside her. It had been months if you didn't count Jack, which of course she didn't.

He wanted this, it seemed like so long since they had been together; so long and Blair was making it damn near impossible to say no. But he wasn't ready to say the words that she needed to hear even though he felt them. She had said them for him and he knew that she wanted to hear those words before they went any further. He looked away her as he reached down and extracted her hand from his pajamas. "I'm sorry Blair, I'm not ready to say what you need to hear." He braced himself, waiting on the wrath that was sure to ensue. Blair reached out and turned his head to face her and he was surprised by the smile on her face.

"Chuck, I don't need to hear you say those words; not tonight at least. I know that you feel them so I don't have to hear them." Blair said softly.

Chuck didn't want her doing anything that she was certain of; he knew the possible repercussions. "You sure." He asked quietly, not even recognizing the exact phrase that he had uttered that night in the limo.

At that Blair's eyes lit up and if she hadn't been positive that this was what she wanted, hearing him say those words to her once more, made up her mind. She realized he didn't realize what he had just said. "Chuck Bass, I'm ashamed of you. You clearly don't remember the significance of those words."

As soon as she said that, Chuck remembered their night in the limo. That was what he had asked her then when they were just starting out. He smiled. "Of course I do Waldorf. I've told you before that night is one of very few things that I hold sacred."

Blair smirked. "Well just in case, I think I'll remind you." With that she pulled his head back to hers.

Chuck didn't stop her this time. Instead he did the opposite, he kissed her back with double the intensity. His breathing was ragged as he moved his kisses from her mouth down her jaw, to her neck, his weakness. As he kissed her neck he reached for the fabric of the shirt he had loaned her and ripped it off. The buttons popped off as he disposed of the fabric. Blair grabbed for the clasp on her bra as Chuck removed her underwear. They couldn't get their clothes off quickly enough it seemed. Blair moaned in frustration as Chuck reached back to get protection from his drawer. He glared at her, reminding her that he was not going to put her at risk, so reluctantly she let him out of the tangled mass that was their bodies.

"Shit." Chuck muttered. He was apparently out of condoms. He hadn't needed them in so long that he didn't realize he had gotten low. He moved to call the front desk to have them bring some up but Blair reached out and pulled him back.

"Just pull out okay." She said in a husky voice.

Chuck didn't like the idea because he didn't like anything that could potentially harm Blair but she seemed determined and he was going to be in pain soon if they didn't so he reluctantly agreed.

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As things quickly resumed Chuck entangled his fingers in Blair's hair, keeping his mouth pressed firmly against her own as she reached her hand down to guide him to her entrance, not that he needed any help. As rough and messy as the two of them had been getting to this point, their pace altered as he moved inside of her. His strokes were even and steady for a long time. His stamina had always been good but as he was impressed with himself as turned on as he had been when they had started. He could tell Blair was getting close to orgasm so he quickened his pace. Blair dug her nails into his back and tightened her legs around his torso as she came. Chuck hadn't realized quite how close to the edge he was when she had reached her peak but he was starting to lose control and couldn't free himself. "Blair" Chuck growled, trying to pull out. "Blair, I'm losing control." But Blair was still in the midst of orgasm and he was still trapped within her. Chuck couldn't hold it any longer and he exploded inside of her cursing as he did. Once they had both finished, they both collapsed, completely exhausted and he rolled off of her.

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After taking a moment to breath, Blair rolled over and laid on his chest.

"I am so sorry Blair, I tried to pull out." Chuck said as he kissed her forehead.

Blair smiled up at him. "Don't worry, it's fine, I'm nowhere near that time of the month and I can always take the morning after pill tomorrow."

Chuck shook his head, she always did let him off the hook too easily. "But still Blair, that was irresponsible of me and I shouldn't have let it happen." He waited on her response for a minute and when she didn't say anything, he spoke again. "Blair, did you hear me?" At that he looked down and noticed that Blair had already fallen asleep. He smiled and stroked her hair; she looked like an perfect angel. He bent his head and placed his nose in her hair where he whispered. "I love you Blair."

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed guys! Reviews are always appreciated.**


	10. What Happy Felt Like

**IMPORTANT: So I'm still pretty busy but I'm going to try to keep updating. Hope you enjoy. **

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

**______________________________________________________________**

Chuck woke up with a smile on his face. He had had the most amazing dream; he and Blair had been together for the first time in so long and it had felt so good. He didn't want to open his eyes and leave the dream world that he had created but eventually he knew he had to. When he finally managed to open up his eyes he saw the dark mass of curls piled on the pillow next to him. Chuck's eyes grew wide as he realized that it hadn't been a dream; Blair was here in his bed. He smiled and realized that for the first time in what seemed like forever Chuck Bass was happy.

He slowly withdrew himself from the bed and noticed her pile of clothes on the floor. He picked them up to place them on the side of the bed so that she didn't have to look for them. That's when he noticed something fall out of her dress's pocket. Room keys, two of them. That was odd. He looked over at Blair asleep on the bed; his perfect angel. Why did she have two room keys when he had only given her one. Chuck shook his head, it wasn't important, he loved her and he trusted her, she at the very least deserved that from him after all he had put her through recently, so whatever the other room key was was probably nothing. With that he laid the keys on top of her clothes and moved to the kitchen area to make some coffee.

Blair awakened to smell of fresh coffee; fresh coffee and Chuck. She inhaled again wanting to drink up the scent. She looked to where Chuck had been sleeping and saw her clothes sitting there on the bed. Blair smiled, Chuck would put her clothes exactly where she could find them. She looked at them for a minute, contemplating putting them on. Soon enough a smirk rose to her face and she instead flew from the bed to Chuck's closet where she found one of his shirts; which she put on over her underwear instead of her own clothes. It felt so good, just to be here. Blair had almost forgotten what happy felt like; and it felt so wonderful to remember.

As Blair was about to leave the room she noticed what was laying on her dress from last night, two room keys. Shit, she thought reaching over to touch them. Chuck had seen that she had two keys when he only gave her one. He knew that she was keeping something from him. The smile that lit up her features only moments before was now gone, replaced with a frown. What was she going to say to Chuck when he asked, because she knew Chuck and that meant that she knew that his curiosity would get the better of him eventually and there was still so much she needed to figure out. With that Blair found her cell phone by the bed and placed a call that she had wanted to make for a long time. "Hello, Lily? Yes, this is Blair. I was wondering if I could meet with you later today at around ten, it's really important. Sure, your apartment is fine. I'll see you then." Blair exhaled as she snapped her phone closed, she hoped that she could trust Lily because right now she was in over her head; she needed help and Lily was the only person that she could think of to talk to. Now much less enthusiastically than she would have only a few minutes earlier, Blair left Chuck's bedroom.

As she entered the other room, Chuck looked up at her from over the kitchen bar where he was standing. He couldn't help but smile seeing that she had chosen to abandon her dress from last night in favor of one of his shirts. Her hair was a perfect mess of chocolate curls and she looked as gorgeous as he had ever seen her look. "Good morning Sleeping Beauty."

Blair laughed. "I don't look beautiful this morning, I just woke up Chuck." She was flattered none the less and began walking towards Chuck and hopefully towards coffee; that was when she noticed another smell. "Chuck Bass are you cooking?"

Chuck did something then that she was fairly certain that she had never seen him do; he blushed. "I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed. Albeit a not so great one. I'm no master chef."

With that Blair practically ran around the bar and jumped into Chuck, wrapping her arms around his neck. Chuck was surprised but that didn't stop him from kissing her as she pressed her lips to his. He reached behind his back and turned off the stove, they didn't need a fire burning down the hotel while they were otherwise occupied. With that he lifted her legs and placed her on the counter. They were furiously kissing as she tore off his robe. As she did Chuck yet again ripped another one of his shirts off her body. "I'm going to run out of shirts at this rate." He said smirking.

Blair giggled as she hoped down from the counter and tugged on his hand. "Come on, I need a shower."

Chuck grinned and followed her without protest, breakfast could wait.

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Blair was rushing as she fled the Palace. She was suppose to meet Lily in just over half an hour and that wasn't nearly enough time to get to the Van der Woodsen's home. She and Chuck had lost track of time; but Blair didn't regret it. After their shower, Chuck had fed her the cold scrambled eggs and bacon that he had made her an hour before. It had felt so good just to be with him and have some semblance of normalcy. It helped her to know what she needed to do as well because it reminded her what she was fighting for, which was something she had almost forgotten amongst the grieving and the heartache. But nevertheless she was now in a rush and she most likely looked like she had just rolled out of bed. As the elevator doors opened she moved hurriedly across the hotel lobby, not really looking where she was going; which led her straight into the arms of none other than Jack Bass. Shit, thought Blair as she looked up into the face of a very confused man.

As Jack caught Blair, he looked down at her puzzled by what she was doing at the Palace this early in the morning. So he asked her inquisitively, "Blair, what are you doing here at nine thirty in the morning, looking like a hot mess no less?" But as he finished his question, realization dawned on him; the disordered appearance, the same dress she was wearing last night, the time of the morning, and the direction in which she was headed; Blair Waldorf had spent the night in the Palace Hotel and it hadn't been with him.

Blair watched as realization hit Jack. His eyes narrowed and his jaw locked and she started to pull away. "Jack, I've got somewhere I need to be. We'll talk later."

Instead of letting her go, Jack tightened his hold on her arms. "You little slut." He spat as she started trying to jerk away from him.

"Jack please." Blair said getting a little worried. Jack looked absolutely furious. She softened her features trying to use how he supposedly felt about her to get him to let her go.

Jack laughed a strange odd laugh and drug her to another part of the lobby. "Don't even think about trying that with me this morning Blair. You don't just get to bat those gorgeous lashes and get out of this one." He said as he shook her a little.

Now, she really was scared. She had never seen Jack look like this; so she tried to be a little firmer. "Jack you're hurting me." She said through her teeth as she glared at him.

Jack's nostrils flared as he pressed her against the wall. "I've been playing by your rules for long enough Blair." Jack spat but he did loosen his hold on her. He reached up placing his hands on her shoulders effectively pinning her between himself and the wall.

"I need to go Jack, I'm running late already . . . " Blair spoke before being interrupted.

Jack who had been slightly subdued now roared. "BECAUSE YOU WERE FUCKING MY NEPHEW."

Blair physically shook as he yelled and turned her head away.

"Look at me you whore." Jack said as he reached with his hand and turned her head to face him. "I have treated you better than I've ever treated any woman yet you repay me by screwing that little boy. No, I don't think so. Tonight be at my room by ten. You and I are going to have ourselves a little replay of New Year's Eve." Jack added stroking her face. "Because if you are putting out for my nephew then you certainly are going to be putting out for me."

Blair narrowed her eyes. "You agreed to my terms when I said we weren't going there."

Jack leaned in close to her face. "That was before. Now it seems as though you've decided to raise the stakes. I'll see you at ten Blair; don't be late this time, I have a feeling I'm going to be very impatient." With that he placed a sloppy, hard kiss on Blair's mouth and pushed off on the wall; immediately walking away. He had to get out of there before he ran back to her and gave her everything that she wanted. Because he was starting to worry more about her happiness than his own and that was a dangerous road that he had never once before dreamed of taking. The fact that she made him want to take it terrified him because when the day came that he truly did care more about her happiness than his own he would really be in hell. Hell because he was in love with a woman who wanted nothing more than for him to be out of her life.

As Jack stalked away, Blair pulled out her cell phone and called Lily to inform her that she was running a little late but not to worry. Blair was surprised; she actually made it to Lily's by ten after ten even with her run in with Jack; traffic had just cooperated. She was nervous though as she stood outside her door; but Blair managed to hold it together as she knocked on the door to the Van der Woodsen's apartment.

Lily took one look at Blair and knew that something was wrong. "Honey, come in what is it?" And immediately the tears that Blair had been holding back poured out.

"Lily, I need your help." Blair sobbed as she moved into the room.

Suddenly, she had already forgotten what happiness felt like because now, now it seemed that she was in hell.

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**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I guess you can say the drama has really started now. Reviews are always appreciated. **

**xoxo**

**kate**


	11. Talking to Lily

**IMPORTANT: So I'm still pretty busy but I'm going to try to keep updating. Hope you enjoy. **

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

**_______________________________________________________________**

Lily was terrified when she saw Blair at her door; looking like she did. Blair was normally as together and composed as she was and to see her in such disarray was alarming to say the least. She immediately offered Blair her services; after all the girl was practically family. "Honey, whatever it is that I can do I will. What's the problem?"

Blair who had now moved into the apartment said, "Maybe we should sit down; this might take a little while."

"Of course." Lily added motioning towards the couches.

Blair immediately moved to the couch and sat down. "So, no one knows what I am about to tell you, with the exception of Mr. Donavon and myself."

Lily was already giving Blair her complete attention but when she mentioned Mr. Donavon it made her head snap to look Blair in the eye. "Mr. Donavon, as in the Bass Family Lawyer?"

Nodding, Blair continued. "You see, there was more to Bart's will than most people know about and I hope I am doing the right thing by telling you. Bart left no guidelines for me because he trusted that I would do what's best but I don't know that I can do this. Lily I think Bart was wrong, I don't think that I can handle the kind of power that he has given me."

Blair was still talking when Lily raised a hand and placed it on her arm, "Blair slow down honey, I don't even know what you're talking about yet. But whatever it is I guarantee you Bart Bass was a very smart man and he would never do something lightly. Whatever this is that you are talking about I assure you that you can handle it."

Blair looked down at her hands, neatly folded in her lap, then back up at Lily. "If Bart had known all of the circumstances then maybe but there were things he couldn't possibly have anticipated and now I don't know what to do."

Lily was extremely worried, Blair was scaring her. "I need you to tell me what's going on Blair, or I can't help you."

Looking Lily strait in the eye, Blair took a deep breath then slowly exhaled before diving in. "Bart left me 29% of the company."

Lily's mouth fell open and Blair continued. "Mr. Donovan came by my house later during the day the will was read with a letter addressed to me from Bart. Apparently Bart feared that Jack would attempt to seize control of the company from Chuck and quite possibly succeed. From what the letter said, I believe that Bart was very scared of the danger that Jack poses to all of us. He said that he trusted me with the company, that he knew that I would act it's best interest and that the shares were mine to do with as I please." Blair stopped talking for a minute, she needed to catch her breath and she really wanted to know Lily's reaction to this information. She knew that it was a big deal.

Lily sat there for a moment, allowing it to all to sink in. Bart had left Blair a large part of the company; in secret no less. "Blair this is a huge deal. I assume you haven't told Chuck?"

"No, Bart didn't want me to apparently. Well at least that was what Mr. Donovan led me to believe. Although, Bart made it clear that whatever decision I made would be what was best because he trusts me. But I had decided to simply allow everyone to believe that Chuck held that entire 59% until something happened that I needed to reveal my shares. But Chuck is about to have to make a major decision and then there's so much other stuff going on and I don't know what to do anymore." Blair said close to tears.

Lily couldn't help but think that Bart had to have known what he was doing when he did this. Bart never made a decision lightly. "I don't know what to say Blair, other than that you have to do the very thing that you have been telling Chuck to do. You have to believe in yourself because everyone else does, or you wouldn't have been placed in this position. Now what other stuff are you talking about? You said that something had happened that Bart couldn't have anticipated; something that changes things. What was it?"

Blair was twisting her ring and acting as though that act was quite interesting. "I . . . I'm so ashamed Lily. What I've done was so wrong. I don't deserve people to believe in me after what I did."

"Blair you have to tell me or I can't help you." Lily said quietly, taking one of Blair's hands in hers.

Finally Blair decided that if she was going to get Lily's help then she needed to be honest with her. "On New Year's Eve, I ran into Jack at the Palace bar. I already knew that Jack held a certain fixation for me, but I just didn't want to be alone and since he already knew that I loved someone else I thought that it would be okay to talk to him. I was so wrong. I got drunk and at midnight we kissed."

Lily spoke there, thinking that Blair was done. "You can't be blamed for that. Chuck had left you all alone and you were working so hard to find him. You didn't do anything wrong."

Blair smiled a very sad smile as she continued. "If that was all that happened then you would be right. Unfortunately, that's all I remember happening, but I woke up the next morning in his bed; wearing his shirt. Jack says we slept together."

Lily couldn't hold back a slight gasp but she immediately started considering the more pleasant alternatives. "Wait, you don't remember?" Blair nodded. "So isn't there a chance then that Jack is lying to you about what happened?"

"I thought that at first too and when Jack first started trying to blackmail me with telling Chuck what we did, I didn't take his threats seriously." Blair replied.

"Jack's blackmailing you?" Lily questioned, mouth gaping.

Blair nodded. "He has forcing me to _date_ him. If I didn't he was going to tell Chuck and I knew that Chuck couldn't have handled it. He is always talking about how I never gave up on him, how I waited for him; but that night, I gave up."

Lily was confused. Why on earth would Jack be blackmailing her into dating him unless he had actual feelings for Blair. "So how is it that you know that this really happened?"

"I've started getting flashes. One night when I was in Jack's room, I found my ruby ring on the couch and then I remembered being there on New Year's and kissing him. That was the moment that I knew that it must have been true and I hated myself for it." Blair said looking away once more. Lily didn't say anything so she turned back. "I have been so tired recently but I was handling things until last night. Chuck and I were together again for the first time in so long. That morning I realized that Chuck had noticed that I had two room keys and I called you. I thought it was time I got some help because I'm in over my head. But when I was leaving, Jack saw me and he instantly knew. He's so angry and . . . and . . . he is expecting me to sleep with him . . . tonight."

Lily didn't know what to do. Blair was in a mess. If it was only the company; that wouldn't be too difficult to deal with, but that on top of the situation with Jack made everything so much more complex. "For now, I would advise keeping the company thing a secret. Trust that Chuck will make the right decision and if I think that he is in danger of messing up, I'll be sure to clue you in. As for Jack," Blair held her breath. "Tell Chuck what happened. He's going to be hurt but the longer this goes on, the worse the situation is going to get. He needs to know Blair or he's going to find out on his own."

Blair knew she was right but she didn't know if she could tell him. After everything to just give up would mean that she had done it all for nothing; that all of her efforts had been futile from the start. Blair had never been okay with that sort of thing. It wasn't in her to give up; just like it wasn't in her to hurt Chuck. Lily was going to be a valuable ally on the board, so she was glad that she had told her about Bart's little gift but Blair just couldn't take her advice when it came to Chuck and Jack; not after everything. So she looked at Lily and told her what she wanted to hear. "Thank you so much for your help. I should have told someone earlier, then perhaps I wouldn't have let it get this far. I should go back to Chuck's; we clearly have things to talk about."

Lily nodded and walked Blair to the door. "I think that's a good idea Blair." Lily said smiling, before adding. "But if you need anything else, anything at all, you can always come to me and I will do my best to help you. You have been like another daughter to me over the years."

"Thank you Lily and I will come to you if I think of anything else." Blair said before turning and leaving.

Lily watched Blair walk away but even as she did she knew that Blair had no intention of telling Chuck. The girl was sometimes too stubborn for her own good and she had given in entirely too easily for Lily to have changed her mind about the course that she was taking. After all, Blair had been handling this on her own for some time now. Lily only hoped that Blair could handle herself; better yet, she hoped that Blair could handle Jack Bass because Bart had been right, Jack was dangerous and Blair was playing with fire.

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**A/N: I know that it's short but I figured the next part deserved a full chapter of its own. **

**xoxo**

**kate**

**PS: Reviews are always appreciated. **


	12. And the Clock Strikes 10

**IMPORTANT: So I'm still pretty busy but I'm going to try to keep updating. Hope you enjoy. **

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. M at the end. **

**___________________________________________________________________________________**

Blair reached out and rapped on the door. She wasn't sure where her room key was at the moment. More likely than not she had rushed out of Chuck's room and left it there this morning.

Jack opened the door and smirked. She had dressed to spite him. Her long dark curls had been straightened and pulled up into a high ponytail and she was wearing clothing items so un like Blair Waldorf that it made him laugh instead of get angry. Blair Waldorf was wearing blue jeans, a Yale sweatshirt, and flats. "Interesting choice of attire Blair" Jack said backing up and holding open the door.

Blair glared. She was here but she wasn't going to be Little Ms. Sunshine tonight. She wasn't going to fight this either though; what was the point anymore? Jack had won or at least he had proven that he had the power to make her do what he wanted.

Jack simply smirked back and gestured to a box on the table. "I think I know you a little better than you think I do. Anticipating this sort of response, I purchased some clothing for you. I hope it's to your pleasing, I know I like it."

Blair just shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever." She said walking over to the table to collect the box.

As she walked Jack tried to make conversation. "So why'd you have to knock? I gave you a key a long time ago."

Blair continued with her nonchalant attitude and answered flatly. "I left it at Chuck's this morning when I rushed out." She didn't even glance back to see his reaction because unlike most days she hadn't said it to garner a reaction from Jack, she had said it because it was the truth.

Jack's eyes narrowed at the mention of this morning. He was still infuriated that she and Chuck had slept together. He was a very jealous man and the more he had of Blair the more he wanted to keep her away from everyone else. He wanted to possess her and he would. "What's Chuck going to think when he sees that you have two room keys Blair?"

At this she turned around. "I don't know." She said matter-of-factly. "However I would think that you would want him to figure out about us. Then you'd have him out of the picture right?"

Jack walked closer to her, looking in her eyes he said. "That wouldn't make you happy and I want you to be happy Blair."

Blair's eyes narrowed only slightly as she said completely devoid of emotion. "You don't make me happy."

Jack averted his gaze to avoid allowing her to see the pain in his gut that those words caused. When he looked back he brushed his hand against her cheek and she turned her head causing her ponytail to swish. "Go change Blair." Jack said quietly as he stepped back. "By the way, you can keep the ponytail."

Blair didn't even acknowledge that she had heard him and continued into the bathroom.

While Blair was gone Jack couldn't help but think that something was different with her. It was like something inside of her was gone and as much as he hated to admit it; it killed him seeing her look so utterly apathetic when normally she carried such a spark in her eyes. Jack sneered at himself as he realized the poetic rubbish he was thinking in his mind, what had this girl done to him?

As she emerged from the bathroom, he couldn't help the sharp intake of breath that came upon seeing her. Damn she was gorgeous; he couldn't even fathom this kind of beauty existed. The only thing that he could think to compare her to was a goddess. "You look amazing." He said, looking her up and down.

Blair still stoic spoke quietly. "Thanks. The dress is beautiful." She wasn't lying it was probably one of the most gorgeous garments she had ever worn but it was revealing. She would never wear something like this out of the house. The dress was bright red silk with intricate rose designs in the fabric. From the waist up the fabric was shear, the only decoration was the roses. The roses formed a sort of bra as well and the dress was topped off by and extremely high split. Blair had left her hair in a ponytail as he had suggested but she had added a coat of red lipstick to the ensemble.

The moment became uncomfortable as Blair continued standing there quietly while Jack simply stared at her; unable to avert his gaze. After some time Jack realized the awkwardness and motioned to a table he had set up, complete with candles and wine glasses. "Here take a seat," he said moving to pull out her chair.

Blair did as he asked and sat down. As he finished pushing in her chair he brushed her shoulder and she shivered. At that she turned her head. "What's with the candle light dinner for two Jack? After this morning I was rather under the impression that I was just here so that you could do me." Her voice continued to betray nothing she was feeling.

Jack couldn't help but frown; but he wasn't angry with her this time. No, this time he was angry with himself. He took his seat. "I am so sorry about this morning Blair. I behaved in an awful manor I was just jealous and I allowed that to get the better of me."

For the first time all night Blair felt something other than forced apathy. "Does that mean that you've changed your mind about tonight?"

Blair's voice hadn't really changed but Jack saw it in her eyes; the spark that had been missing had flashed in that moment. "No Blair, I haven't. I wasn't lying when I said that what you and Chuck did last night changed things. I'm just sorry for how forceful I was with you." As he spoke he saw the spark immediately vanish from her eyes once more.

Blair averted her gaze. The thing that she had felt before was almost too much emotion to handle. She had to suppress it if she was going to go through with this. Jack got up and got their food and they ate practically in silence. Blair's unhappiness was beginning to show. The silence had been bad for her because it had given her time to simply sit there and think about how much she didn't want to do this. "Do something to distract me." She whispered.

Jack gave her a small smile and started talking about some crisis in the company in Australia. He was glad to be talking. The silence had been bad for him because it gave him too much time to reconsider what he was doing and he wanted this; wanted her. They were almost through with desert and conversation had actually picked up a little. Blair had been talking about school. Apparently her grades hadn't been great over the past few weeks and she was beginning to worry a little. They stood from the table and he brought her a glass of the wine that she had become so accustomed to drinking with him. "What now?" she asked quietly. Her voice held none of its usual grandeur but it also had none of the apathy that it had been showing the rest of the night. No if it could be classified as anything, it would have been identified as fearful.

Jack leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "What do you say we go down to the bar and get a couple drinks?" Now wasn't the right moment and he knew it so he suggested the first thing he could think of.

Blair immediately thought about her two choices, go down to the bar where Chuck could easily walk up and see them or initiate the intimacy with Jack. So she made a split second decision._ I'll pretend it's Chuck _she thought to herself before grabbing his head and pulling his mouth to hers. She pressed her body into his and grabbed at his hair with her fingers.

Jack was caught off guard and stumbled into Blair as she practically jumped him . Her hands were grasping his hair as his automatically reached around her back pulling her to him. Blair's kisses were desperate and surprisingly passionate; so he responded with equal force and swiftness. Her hands moved to his shirt and started quickly undoing the buttons. He pulled off his coat and she pushed his now undone shirt off his shoulders. Jack reached for the zipper of her dress getting it half undone before suddenly breaking their kisses.

Jack was breathing hard as he pulled back from Blair, holding her face with both his hands. He looked into her eyes and said seriously, "I have waited for this, longed for this, ever since New Year's Eve Blair." Jack saw it in her eyes when the change happened. They had been dark and fiery but as he spoke something happened in them and they softened. It was like Blair was suddenly back. Not the cold apathetic Blair, not the passionate out of control Blair, but the real Blair and now her eyes held fear and regret. "Blair." Jack said trying to pull her back but she immediately started fighting him, pushing him away.

_**I think I'm drowning  
Asphyxiated  
I want to break the spell  
That you've created**_

_**You're something beautiful  
A contradiction  
I wanna play the game  
I want the friction **_

With one hand Blair held up her dress in front, the other she placed out in front of her trying to tell Jack to keep his distance. "I can't do this. The way you looked at me just then is the way Chuck looks at me every time he sees me and I can't do this to him."

Jack's eyes flashed and his fists clenched. "This is your fault! You did this to me. You turned me into this guy who has feelings and gives a shit and I can't stand it." She couldn't just undue what had just happened. She had kissed him and she had felt it. She would destroy him one way or the other and he wanted it to be in a fit of passion.

_**You  
Will be the death of me  
Yeah, you  
Will be the death of me**_

_**Bury it  
I won't let you bury it  
I won't let you smother it  
I won't let you murder it**_

_**But our time is running out  
But our time is running out  
You can't push it underground  
You can't stop it screaming out **_

Blair tilted her head slightly trying to see if there was a way around Jack to get to the door. She slowly moved to the other side of the couch; putting it in between them, and worked her way towards the door. "I'm sorry Jack. I just wish that you could get over me. I love Chuck and you are following me around like a love sick puppy. It was that way even before he came home so I know this isn't about him. This has to stop though Jack. It could all stop tonight."

"You think I want to be like this Blair?" Jack shouted grabbing his head with one of his hands. "I tried to forget you. I tried everything possible: drugs, alcohol, other women, I left town, hell Blair I even went to see a therapist. I tried but I couldn't you wouldn't let me. Your voice is the one in my head, your face is the one I see every time I close my eyes, and when I dream it's of you; only of you. For me you are everywhere, I can't escape it and I can't deny it any longer."

_**I wanted freedom  
Bound and restricted  
I tried to give you up  
But I'm addicted**_

_**Now that you know I'm trapped  
Sense of elation  
You'd never dream of  
Breaking this fixation**_

Blair was still moving around towards the door. "I don't know what you mean Jack. You can't blame this on me. I didn't encourage this. In fact I told you over and over that I didn't want you. That I loved someone else."

Jack smirked. "You did by existing Blair and you did it New Year's Eve. I can't resist you." Blair had almost made it to the door. She placed her hand behind her ready to turn the knob. "And I'm not going to let you resist anymore either." Jack said. As Blair turned the knob ready to run, Jack was suddenly at the door. He slammed it shut before she could even get it two inches open. "That wasn't very nice Blair. You see if you had run away I would have had to call Chuck and I don't think you would like that very much would you?"

_**You  
Will squeeze the life out of me**_

_**Bury it  
I won't let you bury it  
I won't let you smother it  
I won't let you murder it**_

_**But our time is running out  
But our time is running out  
You can't push it underground  
You can't stop it screaming out**_

She glared up at him. "Let me go Jack. Let me walk out of here right now. End this." She was insistent and thought that perhaps there was some bit of reason left in him that she could appeal to.

Jack shook his head. "I can't let you throw away what we have Blair." He said as he stroked her cheek. "I can't let you destroy it."

Her eyes softened. "Please Jack." Tears were starting to flood her eyes and she was trying her best to blink them back. "Please." Her voice was pleading. Why hadn't she listened to Lily? She had been wrong, so wrong. She couldn't handle this and more than that Chuck wouldn't want her to have to handle this; no matter what she had done. Now she was scared and as much as she wanted to run she knew that coming here tonight had been passing the point of no return.

Jack reached behind him into his pocket and got out a small packet. He held it up; dangling in in front of her face. Blair immediately recognized it as coke and started shaking her head violently. "No Jack."

_**How did it come to this?**_

_**Ooh ooh ooh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
Ooh ooh ooh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
Ooh ooh ooh yeah yeah no no nooo**_

He leaned close to her ear and said quietly, his lips brushing her ear. "It'll make it all go faster."

Blair bit her lip. She knew that she couldn't leave, Jack wasn't going to let her. Plus she had already come so far down this road, everything she had done before this would have been for nothing. Now Chuck was probably strong enough to handle her cheating but he wouldn't be able to accept the fact that she had lied to him for so long. She had already done this once right? Blair tried to reason with herself; talk her into calming down and handling the situation. She had never tried any form of drugs and it frightened her but she didn't know that she could make it through tonight without something. So she nodded.

Jack smiled and got a small plate, placing the crack on it, and holding it too her nose. "Press you finger over your other nostril and breathe sharply." Blair hesitantly did as he instructed and immediately began to feel the effects. As Jack took a hit of his own Blair had completely stopped worrying about everything. Why worry when the world was so perfect. Jack smiled again and moved towards Blair.

_**Yeah, you  
Will suck the life out of me**_

_**Bury it  
I won't let you bury it  
I won't let you smother it  
I won't let you murder it**_

She was smiling too and slowly raised her arms above her head letting her dress drop. Wearing only a black thong now, her hands were still partially in the air by the time Jack reached her. He lifted her and pressed her against the wall; her legs around his waist and his hands tightly gripping her thighs. She locked her lips with his, furiously kissing him. Jack lifted her higher, "Hold on." Jack said as he moved to the bedroom. He couldn't help but bump into things; but Blair was holding tightly. Eventually, he reached the bedroom where he fell gently to the bed with her still wrapped around him. She reached down yanking of his pants and he removed her underwear as she let the effects of the drug continue to take over.

_**But our time is running out  
But our time is running out  
You can't push it underground  
You can't stop it screaming out **_

He entered her while looking her strait in the eye and she brought her hips to meet his over and over. She dug her nails into his back and screamed his name as she came. That surprised him. Jack was almost anticipating her to scream the name of his nephew. He would have been angry but he was prepared. That she screamed his gave him a new burst of energy. He wanted to hear it again and again; his name coming from those gorgeous lips while she was in a moment of pure ecstasy.

Jack's stamina was impressive and she came again before he did. Then they collapsed on the bed completely exhausted.

_**  
How did it come to this?**_

_**Ooh ooh ooh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
Ooh ooh ooh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
Ooh ooh ooh yeah yeah no no nooo**_

Jack looked over at her. She was asleep, curled up against him and he leaned in and kissed her forehead before whispering in her ear. "I love you." He fell asleep happy for the first time in so long.

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A/N: I know, I know, not what most of you probably wanted to happen and I hope you don't desert me for this. If you loved it, liked it, hated it, or just wanted to tell me what you thought hit the little green review button because I always like hearing from you guys.

xoxo

kate

Btw: Blair's dress from this chapter is on my profile

And the song is Time is Running Out by Muse


	13. Everything Falls Apart

**Important: I know that several of you read my other fanfics and aren't really use to me writing the heavier, less happy stuff but I honestly don't know where this fanfic is headed right now (I have some storylines already plotted but not the end by any means) and it is quite possible that it is going to a not so happy place. (a place I wouldn't take What He Can't Have or The Games We Play). For those of you willing to stick with me through that *hugs* I just wanted to give you fair warning that I make no promises with this fanfic. **

**This will definitely contain spoilers through In the Realm of the Basses and Gone With The Will.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. M at the end. **

**_____________________________________________________________________________**

Jack's tongue mingled with Blair's as they lay on the couch. It was so good, so nice to simply forget everything and be with someone who wasn't complicated and more than that it was so nice to not be alone. At least she never had to doubt Jack's affection for her Blair thought before forcing the thought from her mind. She knew all too well where that thought would lead her and she didn't want to go there; she just wanted to forget.

As she deepened the kiss she recognized the first signs of something awful; the churning in her stomach and she knew that she didn't have much time to make it to the bathroom. It really was true that people who had ever been bulimic couldn't even begin to suppress natural nausea. So she pushed Jack off with both hands and started running for the bathroom. She was almost to the toilet when she couldn't hold it anymore and she threw up all over herself. She finished at the toilet and then simply allowed herself to fall to the floor. She was always wiped out after getting sick.

Blair was barely aware of Jack interring the room. She could hear his mumblings and knew that he thought that she was passed out. She didn't feel like talking, so she allowed him to think it and just layed there looking at him through hooded lashes. She was surprised as he began to remove her dress and was about to draw attention to the fact that she was still awake when he stood up and removed his shirt. Blair laid there confused as he had lifted her up and placed the shirt on her; delicately buttoning each button, not trying anything at all. When he carried her to his bed and laid down next to her Blair had allowed her heavy lids to fully close; allowing her to slip into a deep sleep.

Suddenly Blair snapped wake, sitting strait up in the bed and looked around the room. She knew _where_ she was, it was the _when_ she was having trouble with. What had that dream been about? She knew that that had never happened, she certainly hadn't been drunk last night. Blair reached down and twisted her ring trying to think. It was as though a piece of a puzzle was awkwardly forced into the last open space; as the missing memory was forced into the only open space in her brain. Her mind didn't want to accept the information not now; not after everything. She shook her head furiously, her breathing becoming ragged._ No, no, no, that wasn't possible, that didn't go there_ she thought but for one second she allowed the puzzle piece entrance into it's proper space and felt like her heart was ripped from her chest.

Jack smiled as he prepared the eggs and toast. He had what he wanted now and he knew it because even if Blair did realize that they hadn't slept together on New Year's Eve, this time they had and there was no denying it. So he placed the breakfast on the tray and walked into his bedroom; his bedroom where Blair was laying naked in his bed. He was slightly surprised to see her sitting up when he walked in. He looked at her curiously, not knowing why she hand a hand in her hair and another clutching her stomach. "Good morning beautiful."

Blair's head snapped up and she yanked the sheet up with one hand. Jack couldn't help but notice that she looked like a wild animal, frightened by the approach of a predator. "What's wrong?" He asked approaching slowly; holding out the tray.

Her breathing was sharp and ragged. She felt as though she was hyperventilating and when Jack sat down next to her on the bed her whole body started shaking. _How had she been so stupid?_

Jack reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder trying to steady her. For a moment he was frightened, it wasn't possible to have bad effects of a drug this much later was it?

When his hand touched her Blair smacked it away before taking her hand and knocking the tray across the room. The shatter of glass as it hit against the wall only fueled her intense anger and despair and she started slamming her fists into Jack's chest. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Blair screamed at the top of her lungs.

Jack grabbed her forearms and tried to hold her still but Blair continued thrashing as though she was fighting for her life. "Blair what the hell is wrong with you?" Jack asked pinning her down.

Blair's head was bucking as she continued to thrash about on the bed. Jack finally pressed himself down on her to prevent her from hurting one or both of them. "Calm down and tell me what's going on Blair."

Blair stopped moving for a moment but she noticed he didn't loosen his hold on her as though he knew she was likely just recuperating. She spat in his face. "I hate you, you sick sadistic bastard." He looked confused and angry but was still holding her down. "Get the fuck off me right now." She said her voice dripping with venom.

When he didn't immediately release her she pressed her head into the pillow before bashing it into his. As he grasped his head, Blair brought up her knee and slammed it into his groin. Jack groaned and he grabbed his groin in pain. Blair shot out of bed and grabbed the sheet off the bed, wrapping it around herself. "I fucking remember everything." She said her voice raw as tears poured down her cheeks.

Jack realized then what Blair was so infuriated about and spoke in a pleading voice. "Blair, please, just give me a chance . . . "

"To do what?" she interrupted, "Explain? Because really Jack I don't think there is anyway that you can make me forgive you for blackmailing me for months, blackmailing me all the way into your bed; making me think that there was no harm in sleeping with you again, I'd done it once already, right, RIGHT?" She shouted.

"Blair, I love you." Jack said begging her with the words he knew she craved to hear more than any others.

Blair laughed a strange choking sound. "You don't love me Jack." She said darkly. "You love you. What you feel for me is nothing more than some kind of dark fascination a twisted obsession because I'm the one thing you couldn't have."

"You're wrong." Jack said standing up. "I love you."

"You are incapable of love." Blair said calmly. "You have to have a soul to love."

Jack couldn't deny the twisting in his gut as she said that. It felt as though his insides were being clawed out and he didn't attempt to prevent the anguish from twisting his face into an ugly snarl. "You're wrong." He said in a guttural voice.

Blair shook her head. "I'm getting a shower, then I'm leaving Jack and I will never see you again. I don't care if you tell Chuck. I don't care if you tell the whole fucking world. It's not worth it and if I'm wrong and you do actually love me there is no way that you won't stop me from leaving, you won't stop me from being happy. And if I'm right and you are the monster that I think you are then I guess that we are all going to end up miserable and not just you."

As he watched Blair disappear into the bathroom Jack angrily grabbed for his cell phone and made the call. If he couldn't have her that damnable nephew of his certainly wasn't going to get to have her either. "Good morning nephew." Jack said with a smirk on his face. Before putting on a robe, walking into the living room, and taking a seat on the couch where he would have a perfect view of what was to come.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Chuck shook his head in disbelief as he hesitated, the key in his hand. What was he doing? This was utter nonsense. He shouldn't be standing outside of Jack's door at ten am in the morning ready to place the key of Blair's that hadn't opened his own suite into Jack's door. He was about to turn away it was utterly absurd to think for a moment that Jack wasn't just trying to get to him. Then thought back to Jack's phone call.

_"What do you want Jack." Chuck had asked irritated at the early morning wake up call. _

_"I just thought you might like to visit me this morning. I have a visitor that I think you might be very interested to see." Jack had replied._

_Chuck couldn't withhold an eye roll. "Really Jack, I think I'd rather not stop by." He an his Uncle had not been on the best of terms ever since Jack had commented on Blair being hot. Things just seemed strange between them. Plus it was clear that Jack thought he could do a better job with the company and quite possibly with Blair.  
_

_Jack had answered immediately with a strange riddle of sorts. "Oh come on Charles, from what I understand you already have a key to my room." _

_"What in God's name are you talking about?" Chuck had asked confused. _

_He heard Jack laugh through the phone. "Silly little boy. Just use Blair's key, if you need help figuring out with one that is, it's the one that doesn't open your suite door."_

Jack had hung up immediately following that line and afterwards Chuck couldn't help but pick up the two keys he had found in Blair's things. How had Jack known about the key? It was that fact that had made him turn back towards the door and insert the key in the slot. When the green light flashed Chuck's heart dropped.

He walked into the room to find Jack lounging in a robe on the couch. "So glad you could join me nephew." Jack said smiling. "I see you found the key after all."

Chuck held up the key. "You planted this."

Jack smirked. "No need." He gestured towards the door to the bedroom as right on cue Blair walked in wrapped in a towel.

"Jack where the hell are my clothes?" Blair asked looking towards the table where she had placed them last night, not realizing until the words were out of her mouth that Chuck was standing in front of her.

"I don't know Blair, where did you take them off?" Jack asked haughtily.

Chuck stood there speechless. How could she have done this? He wanted it not to be real. He slammed his eyes shut for a moment and repeated the mantra. _It's not what it looks like, it's not real._ But when he opened his eyes once more, the scene was just as he had left it.

"Chuck." Blair breathed. She watched his face contort from shock, to disbelief to anger as she tried to get to him before he took off. She had to stop him from leaving before she had a chance to explain herself.

Chuck held out his hand holding the key. "I guess you'll be needing this." He tried to keep his voice dead and he sounded so much like the old Chuck Bass that it scared Blair.

Jack chuckled. "I certainly hope so. Last night was quite delightful."

Blair glared at Jack. "Haven't you done enough?"

"I'll leave you two to sort this out." Chuck said turning around.

Blair reached for him. "Chuck, let me explain." Her eyes held tears waiting to spill over.

Chuck exhaled sharply. "Blair, not now. I need time." He grasped her forearm and detached it from his arm roughly. He needed to get out of there. He couldn't think here and that's what he needed right now.

"Please, Chuck." She begged, placing herself against the doorway.

"Move Blair. I need time to think, to sort this out." He said the fury evident in his voice as he tried not to do something he would regret in all of his anger.

Blair shook her head. "Not until you listen to me Chuck. There's an explanation for this I swear."

His eyes narrowed and he began to speak. He hadn't had time to think and knew that he might say just about anything right now. "Did you sleep with him?"

She glanced away.

"I said DID YOU FUCKING SLEEP WITH HIM!" Chuck shouted in her face before shoving her out of the way.

He hadn't pushed her that hard but she hadn't been able to maintain her balance and she fell to the floor. Chuck didn't even flinch as she lightly hit the ground; he just stood there waiting for an answer.

"Yes. I slept with him but . . . "

"That's all I needed to know Blair." He opened the door partway before slamming his head against it. He laughed a dark twisted laugh and squeezed his eyes shut before turning his head to the side and taking a good long look at Blair laying on the floor. After a moment he spat in words filled with a hatred he had never felt before. "I loved you." Then he was gone.

Tears were spilling down Blair's cheek as tried to stand. Stopping on all fours as sobs racked her body. Jack walked over and knelt in front of her. He reached out and touched her face. "Blair."

She recoiled at his touch and sat back on her heels. "Never touch me again Jack."

"I warned you what would happen." Jack said softly, rationally.

Blair lifted her head and glared at him. "You're a monster."

As his hand touched her again, she leaned further back on her heels until she could stand. "If you touch me again I swear to God I'll kill you Jack."

"Blair." He repeated, reaching for her again. "Don't do this."

Tears still poured down her face and she spotted her clothes directly behind a shell shocked Jack. She moved around him and dropped her towel putting on her clothes, not caring what he did or didn't see.

He reached out as she tried to walk past him towards the door but Blair surprised him by backhanding him across the face with her free hand. "I said don't touch me." And after giving one last jerk on her arm she freed herself and fled the room. She practically ran towards the elevators and frantically pressed the elevator call button. As she stepped into the elevator she leaned against the wall and let herself slide down it; collapsing into a fit of uncontrollable tears.

_**Well B it sounds like you finally got to hear those words you've been longing for; too bad it was C's way of saying that he wanted nothing more to do with you. **_

________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: sorry it took so long guys. This is probably going to be the last update before I'm done with finals though :( Reviews are always appreciated and might just encourage me to write more sooner.


	14. Fairy Godmothers Wear Chanel

**IMPORTANT: So I'm home for summer, YAY!!!! That means more time for writing. Sorry this one is short, I promise a nice long one in the future. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

* * *

Blair didn't know how she had ended up where she was; standing outside of the van der Woodsen's apartment. But she knew that she had come there for a reason; to speak to Lily or Serena, if Serena was there. It had been over a week since everything had happened and she needed someone to talk to. Chuck wasn't answering her calls and Jack wouldn't stop calling her, leaving message after message apologizing and begging for forgiveness. Blair knocked and wasn't surprised when Lily was the one who answered the door.

Taking one look at Blair told Lily everything about how she needed to know about how things had gone with Chuck. "Serena isn't here, Blair."

"That's okay." Blair said softly. "Do you think we could talk then?"

"Of course, come in." Lily said opening the door. "Sit down, I'll be right over." Lily added as she walked to the sink and started a pot of tea. She then went back to the couch where she waited for Blair to tell her what had happened; knowing that it was better not to rush her.

"Chuck knows." Blair practically whispered.

Lily reached out and placed a hand on her back. "How did he take it honey?"

Blair looked up at Lily and bit her lip. "I think he would have taken it better if I had told him." As she spoke a tear slid out of the corner of her eye and down her face.

A look of surprise came across Lily's face and it took her a moment before she could speak. "Wait, if you didn't tell him, how exactly did he find out?"

Blair inhaled deeply. "Jack set me up." As she spoke she exhaled.

"He arranged for Chuck to walk in on you two?" Lily asked concerned.

Blair shook her head. "No, well yes, but that isn't actually what I meant." Lily looked confused and she continued. "The first time I slept with Jack was just over a week ago."

At that Lily interrupted. "But you told me . . ."

"I was wrong." Blair said shaking her head again. "I couldn't remember that night and Jack led me to believe that that is what had happened, when in reality I had simply passed out in his suite. Then after I did sleep with Jack I woke up remembering everything. I'm so ashamed Lily; I even did coke just to get through that evening with Jack. When I confronted Jack about remembering his excuse was that he_ loves me_. After I told Jack that we were done he must have called Chuck and Chuck who had apparently found my key to Jack's showed up with me in a towel, looking for my clothes. He wouldn't listen to me he just wanted to know if I had slept with Jack and when I told him that I had he said . . .he said . . .he said that he_ lov__**ed**_ me and then he left. He won't return my calls and Jack, Jack won't stop calling. I don't know what to do."

"Oh Blair." Lily exclaimed handing her a tissue. "Have you talked to anyone else about this? Serena? Your Mom?"

Blair just shook her head. "I wouldn't know what to say. You already knew the worst of it so it wasn't too difficult but telling someone else, I don't think that I could."

"The tea's ready." Lily said moving to stand. "Let me call Serena for you."

After a minute of looking into Lily's motherly face, Blair nodded. "Okay. Call her."

Lily smiled and stood. "Okay. Everything's going to be okay."

When Serena arrived half an hour later she saw Blair and immediately ran over and held her. "Oh B, what happened?"

Blair pulled back and looked at her best friend. "S, I screwed up. I screwed up worse than I ever have before."

Serena did her best to comfort Blair. "It's okay B, whatever it is, we'll fix it, we will."

Lily brought the two girls cups of tea but then she stepped outside leaving them alone. She had a phone call she needed to make.

**Spotted: A distraught B taking refuge at the VDW's apartment, with a worried looking S appearing soon after. Whatever could be the matter?**

**

* * *

**

Chuck paced in his room holding his scotch glass tightly in his right hand. She had betrayed him; she had slept with Jack, she had a key to his room. Then he remembered her face as he left; tear streaked but beautiful as always. The feel of her skin when he had touched hers, the way it had felt to move inside her again, the sound of her voice as she told him that she loved him, over and over. _Why couldn't he get her out of his head?_ Chuck let out a scream as he flung his scotch glass across the room. As it shattered he continued grabbing things and slinging them; wanting to hear them shatter. The sounds of his destruction was so loud that it almost blocked out the sound of Blair's voice in his head, so loud that he almost didn't hear his phone ring. He wasn't going to answer and if it had been anyone else then he probably wouldn't. But Lily would only try to call him if it was something really important. "Lily, what is it? Is Serena okay?" Chuck asked as he answered the call.

Lily spoke quietly. She had gone upstairs to her office but she didn't want to take the chance that Blair might overhear. "Yes Serena is fine. I guess the real question is how are you?"

"If you are referring to the death of my father; I'm over it, I've moved on. Maybe you should do the same." Chuck said as he rolled his eyes. He thought Lily was done trying to be his mother.

"Well certainly that's important; that you are okay in your grief. However, I was asking how you are doing with this situation between Blair, your uncle, and yourself?" Lily said, allowing concern to color her voice as she sat down in her office chair.

Chuck was still pacing the room but stopped when he heard Lily mention Blair. "You've talked to her?"

Lily could hear so many things in Chuck's voice, anger, sadness, loneliness; he missed Blair and he deserved to know the truth. "Yes and so should you."

Chuck practically growled. "You don't understand what she did. And frankly Lily this is none of your business."

"Oh I think I understand better than you." Lily said quickly, trying to keep him interested in the conversation so that he didn't simply hang up. "Give her a chance to explain Chuck. I think you'll be surprised. Then if you still don't want anything to do with her, at least you will have made the decision with all the information. Don't make that mistake."

As Lily spoke, Chuck couldn't help but think about last year when Nate had broken up with Blair without even hearing her side of what had happened. He remembered how stupid Nate had been; all because he wouldn't listen to Blair's side of the story. "Lily I need to go. I suppose I have a phone call to make."

"Okay." Lily said as she shut the phone. She couldn't help but feel satisfied. They were good kids that had seen too much for their age. They deserved another shot at this.

As Chuck heard Lily hang up he simply dialed another number. One that he couldn't forget if he tried. He was nervous as the phone rang ; but he knew that she would answer.

Blair could hardly believe what she was seeing as she looked at the caller id on her phone. Chuck was calling her.

"Who is it B?" Serena asked looking worriedly at her best friend.

Blair just sat there, as though she was frozen. "It's Chuck."

Serena's eyebrows shot up. "B, answer it! That's what you've been waiting for."

Blair shook herself out of it and answered. "Chuck?"

The sound of her voice nearly killed him. He was still so angry but Lily had said there was an explanation right? She sounded so sad. "Hey."

Hearing Chuck's voice seemed to make everything okay again if only for a moment. "Hey." She exhaled as she spoke.

"Come over, I think you have some things to say that I need to hear." Chuck said, his voice husky.

"I'll be right there." Blair said in a hopeful voice. Chuck was going to give her a chance to explain. There might be hope for them yet.

As she got off the phone she hugged Serena. "S, he wants to talk to me, he wants to hear my side."

Serena hugged her back. "Everything's going to work out B. I know it will."

* * *

Jack didn't know what else to do. He had been calling Blair non-stop for days. She hadn't answered a single call and he wasn't sure what else he could do. Everyday he sat outside her school for hours waiting for just a glimpse of her. He wanted to prove to her how much he loved her; he needed her to believe that he loved her but she wouldn't even listen to him. He hadn't seen much of his nephew either. Oh how he hated his nephew. Chuck had Blair yet he didn't appreciate her. Only he could really appreciate her. Chuck had the company but he never put any time into it. He let other people run it when he should be taking a hands on approach. Chuck had everything Jack wanted, everything he deserved. He was done playing games, it was time to step things up a notch.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it :) Reviews are always appreciated. **


	15. The Eighth Deadly Sin: Optimism

**A/N: So I'm home for summer, YAY!!!! That means more time for writing. I told you a long one was on the way :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

* * *

Optimistic, that wasn't a word people used very often to describe Blair Waldorf. Confidant, strong, in-control, or bitchy were all words Blair would usually think of herself as. However, in this moment, as she left Serena's apartment to meet Chuck, the word was optimistic. This was the first time in months that she had felt this way. The first time since their little game with Vanessa. So yes Blair was optimistic as she waited on the elevator, regardless of the fact that it was taking longer than she would have liked, she remained optimistic as she got in the elevator, pressed the button, and descended towards the ground floor. She didn't even groan as the elevator stopped on a couple of floors and picked up other passengers; the optimism wouldn't let her. The optimism carried her through the elevator doors, into the apartment building lobby, out the revolving doors, and onto the side of the street. Yes this morning Blair Waldorf was optimistic, until about one second after she exited the building where she found Jack Bass waiting next to a limo.

"Please Jack, tell me you're not waiting on me because that is damn close to stalking." Blair said as she crossed her arms.

Jack grimaced. "You won't take my calls Blair, what else was I suppose to do?"

"How about take the hint and leave me alone." Blair said glaring. "How did you even know I was here?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders and took a step closer to Blair. "Gossip Girl."

Blair's eyes narrowed. "Wait, you are reading Gossip Girl now? To do what, keep tabs on me?"

"I already told you; you won't take my calls, I don't have a lot of other options short of following you around to get a chance to speak to you; so when Gossip Girl presented the opportunity for a meeting, I took it. I had to see you Blair, to tell you how sorry I am." Jack reached up to run his hand along the side of her check and Blair flinched away.

"I told you don't touch me again; not after what happened last week. How can you possibly expect me to want to speak to you after what you did?" Blair's eyes flashed as she spoke.

Jack reached out a hand and let it graze her neck and come to rest on her shoulders. "Let me make it up to you."

Blair scoffed. "Come on Jack, you act like I wanted you in my life to begin with. I tolerated you before New Years Eve, then I was only around you because you were blackmailing me, with something that I might add didn't even happen. Then you set me up so that I get caught by Chuck in your suite, without my clothes. The only way you can make it up to me is by staying the hell away."

Jack tilted his head. Blair's words hurt him a lot more than he was willing to admit. He couldn't even believe what he had told her last week. Admitting that he loved her was a mistake but he had been desperate. And apparently he was desperate enough to make the same mistake twice because he knew he couldn't loose her. "I can't stay away Blair, I love you."

"Quit saying that." Blair spat.

"I'm in love with you, I can't just turn it on and off." Jack said letting his voice get low; so low he knew that she would feel it.

It seemed as though Blair finally noticed his hand on her shoulder. She took her other arm and knocked it off as she spoke. "No you aren't Jack and I don't have time to be here I have places to be." With that she stepped to call a cab.

_**How dare you say that my behavior's unacceptable  
So condescending, unnecessarily critical**_

__"Take my limo Blair, it's already here." Jack said opening the door for her.

"No." Blair spoke a little too quickly. "A cab is just fine."

Jack's eyes narrowed. Blair was hiding something, he could hear it in her voice. "Where are you going Blair?"

Blair clenched her teeth together. It wasn't that she cared about hurting Jack's feelings, she didn't give a damn about him; but she could tell he had realized where she was going and that was going to make him angry and angry Jack was even worse than crazy romantic Jack. "You think I'm going to make it easier for you to stalk me by telling you where I'm going, you must be crazier than I thought."

Jack's nostrils flared. "You're going to see Chuck. You were quick to turn down my car yet the Blair I know would do just about anything to avoid taking a disgusting cab, not that that's a bad thing because honestly you're above public transportation, but you wouldn't risk getting seen in my car by Chuck. Now what could you possibly be doing visiting my nephew?"

_**I have the tendency of getting very physical  
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle**_

__"That is none of your business. I am none of your business. So for the last time Jack, stay the hell away from me." Blair said as she tried to side step Jack.

But Blair wasn't fast enough and he reached out and grabbed both of her upper arms. "You don't think you're getting away from me that easily do you Blair? You little slut, you're already crawling back to him with your tail between your legs."

Blair didn't answer and he shook her. "What are you going to do, explain to him what happened? Do you think he'll forgive you Blair because I have a feeling he won't. Did you know that I haven't been with another woman since you Blair? I couldn't even if I tried because you're inside of my head. I tried so hard to get you out and it wouldn't happen so I'm done trying Blair. I want you Blair and I always get what I want. I was wondering though Blair, which Bass is better in bed?"

"You son-of-a-bitch" Blair said jerking away from him. "You think that's love? You're psychotic." Blair ran to the curb and held her arm up for a cab. _Come on, come on, I need a cab, I need a cab._

Jack followed, strutting up until he was right behind her; his chest against her back. He turned his neck so that his mouth was touching her ear. "Oh it's love all right. It has to be because I already know that when Chuck turns you down and you are lonely in a bar somewhere . . ." Jack paused for a moment, allowing the image to seek into her brain, before he whispered in a husky voice. "I'll take you back." After he spoke he licked the outside of her ear.

_**When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love  
You'll understand what I mean when I say  
There's no way we're gonna give up**_

"Gross." Blair said as she tried to turn her head, not realizing that had brought a hand up and placed it on the other side of her face, effectively holding her head in place. "You disgust me and this is sexual assault."

Jack chuckled and went on as though he hadn't heard her. "Yes I'll take you back without even a single I-told-you-so." Then he paused as though for contemplation. "Well, maybe one; but that's it I swear."

Just then a cab pulled up and Blair breathed a sigh of relief. She opened the door and Jack was forced to let her go to avoid causing a real scene. "Goodbye beautiful. I'll see you soon."

As she was shutting the door, Blair shot him her best death glare before practically growling. "Go to hell Jack."

_**And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams  
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe  
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe**_

Jack knew that she couldn't hear him but he said his next thought aloud anyway. "As long as you go with me." With that Jack got in his car. "The law offices of Banks, James, and Harrison." He told the driver as he leaned back in his seat with a self satisfied smirk and chuckled once more as he recognized a strange feeling, could he possibly be optimistic?

**

* * *

**

Chuck felt surprisingly optimistic. He was still pissed as hell at Blair but his conversation with Lily had filled him with this hope that things were going to be okay; that maybe there was a reasonable explanation for everything that didn't involve the girl he loved in bed with his uncle. He was optimistic as he heard her knock on the door; so optimistic that he managed to give Blair a half smile. "Come in."

As soon as she saw Chuck, all the memories of her encounter with Jack disappeared and she couldn't keep away the optimism. She blamed the optimism for why she wrapped her arms around Chuck's neck the moment he spoke. "Chuck, I am so happy to see you." She said quietly into his neck.

Chuck reached up and gently took hold of Blair's forearms, detaching them from his neck, and placing them back at Blair's side.

Blair was mortified, what had she just done? Clearly, it was too soon for that. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I was just happy to see you."

"I could tell." Chuck said almost smirking.

Blair bit her lip, she knew that Chuck was waiting on her to talk. He wasn't going to make this any easier on her, why would he? "I didn't think you were going to ever speak to me again." Blair said softly as she walked towards the couch.

"Not the couch." Chuck said quickly.

"What's wrong with the couch?" Blair asked looking down at it, that's when she noticed the shards of glass, on the couch, on the floor, on the coffee table. "Oh my God Chuck, what happened in here?" She looked up at him alarmed.

Chuck looked away from her gaze. "I got in a fight with the glassware and won."

Blair gave a small laugh as she walked around the couch, back towards Chuck. "Well I guess we will just stand then."

"We can always sit on the bed." Chuck said as he turned and walked toward the bedroom.

Blair followed. By the time she walked through the bedroom door Chuck was already sitting on the edge of his made bed. "Are you sure about this, I mean the last time I was in here . . . "

"It's just a bed" Chuck said interrupting her. "Sit down."

With that Blair took a seat next to him. "You know, you still haven't told me what made you call me."

"I told you I needed time. I said things that I don't know whether or not I really mean. Whether or not I meant them depends on what you have to say today." Chuck said, speaking the longest string of words she had heard from him in a while.

"Well I guess I should start at the beginning." Blair said quietly as she looked up at Chuck. He was looking at her expectantly so she continued. "After you left for Bangkok . . . "

Chuck couldn't help but interrupt, his eyes wide with shock and his voice laced with anger. "This has been going on since then?"

"Chuck you said that you would give me a chance to explain, but if you're not going to do that then I might as well leave now. I'm just trying to give you the whole story and that starts with your departure and Jack's arrival."

Chuck nodded and spoke gruffly. "Go on."

"So the day after you left for Bangkok your uncle turned up. He managed everything, getting everything in order I mean and he started working on finding you; which meant that we were working together a lot." Blair looked up at Chuck for a moment. "I know you said not to look for you but I couldn't help it." She looked back down at her ruby ring as she continued. "Jack made some advances towards me but I always shut him down, telling him that I was only interested in finding you. One night while Jack and I were in Prague we started talking about you and I told him how alone I felt. Somehow we got into it; he told me that I was obviously just another girl to you, someone to use and throw away, that I shouldn't have gotten so attached. I flew home on the next flight out, wondering to myself what if Jack is right?"

"Blair you know . . ." Chuck started but Blair held up a hand to silence him.

She continued. "The next time I saw Jack was New Years Eve. I went to the Palace Bar because I was feeling especially alone and I wanted to feel close to you. I was drinking away my sorrows when Jack walked up. He sat down and apologized so I didn't tell him to leave. We sat there and drank and talked about how I missed you. Then I drank some more, and more, and more." Blair said looking at Chuck knowingly. "At midnight Jack kissed me. The next thing I knew I was waking up in Jack's bed wearing only his shirt. I asked Jack what happened? I asked if we slept together, and he said yes. I cried and cried because I couldn't remember. Jack comforted me, he told me that it was completely innocent, we were drunk and I didn't want to be alone." She looked at Chuck and noticed his fist clenching and unclenching. "Do you want to get a drink? I know it's a lot."

Chuck looked at Blair, nostrils flaring but with a hint of a smirk. "I think I broke all the glasses."

Blair couldn't help but laugh. "Okay."

Chuck had to look away. Blair was entirely too beautiful when she laughed and the way this story was going, he couldn't handle that right now, not if he had to end things after tonight. "Go on, I'm listening."

Blair continued without any delay. "Jack asked me out every night for the next week telling me he'd do just about anything for a chance with me. I told him that the only thing that he could do for me was find you. So he did. You were back, but you weren't really you. I was terrified to leave you alone for even a minute; no matter what you said to make me leave. That night on the roof, I finally felt like we had broken through a little bit of the shell you had formed; I knew after that that I was the only person that you were going to let in, but so did Jack. The guilt was tearing me to pieces and it drove me crazy that I couldn't remember; but I knew that if I told you, you would shut down completely." Blair paused as though waiting for conformation, which she received.

"Not that I am condoning what you did with Jack, I'm not. But you were right, I would have never opened up to you again." Chuck had known that he couldn't deny that that was the truth. He had a difficult enough time opening up to her as it was.

"Jack changed after that night on the roof though. He realized that he could use how I felt about you against me. He became more and more insistent, a lot like the old Chuck Bass." Blair said, barely noticing as Chuck spoke.

"You mean like the Chuck Bass before you." He added as he looked at the face of the girl who wasn't quite his girlfriend, yet so much more.

Blair knew she was to the point where she had to tell Chuck about Bart's letter if she was going to. She was terrified that it would send Chuck off the handle to know that his dad had left her 29 of the 100 shares. She had planned on telling him but as rocky as things were right now, she didn't want to send him over the edge. "The night that you and I talked for hours at Victrola, Jack dropped by my house. After making several lewd comments he gave me an ultimatum, I tell or he did. He kissed me that night and I felt so disgusted with myself, I couldn't understand why I would have spent the night with such a monster. The next day I was going to your apartment and ran into Jack just as he was leaving."

Suddenly Chuck interrupted. "I remember that." He said quietly. "I knew that you were there earlier than when you came in." Blair was looking at him as though she thought that he might have gone of the deep end. "I'm hyperaware of your presence Blair, I usually have a pretty good idea of when you are close by."

Blair nodded she knew what Chuck meant. She got the tingling up her spine whenever he walked in a room as well. "Well, Jack informed me that he hadn't told you and that if I agreed to a few of his terms he wouldn't. He wanted a few dates and sex, he wanted more sex. I turned him down flat and went in prepared to tell you everything. You told me that you had defended my honor to Jack just as I was about to tell you about something that I couldn't even remember doing. That was the day that you told me that you couldn't lose me, that you didn't know what you would do if that happened. I swore in that moment that you would never know because I wouldn't hurt you that way. So I went up to Jack's suite and agreed to negotiate some sort of agreement. I was sitting on his couch when I found my ruby ring." She said holding up her hand. "It had been missing for a few weeks and I found it there, in Jack's suite. All along a part of me had been hoping that I hadn't done anything with him really, but when I found the ring I had a flashback, I remembered kissing Jack on that couch. I was more determined than ever to negotiate a deal with Jack and I agreed to date him in secret but I insisted on no sex; something Jack didn't agree with. So Jack and I dated in secret. Every evening I wasn't with you, I was with him. If I got here at 10 it was because I had been with Jack since 5. If I left here at 10, I was headed to Jack's for a few hours."

"That's why you were so tired all the time. You were doing so much for me and trying to keep up with your school work; I just assumed that was it. But all that time you were seeing Jack. Were you even sleeping?" Chuck asked seriously.

Blair shrugged a little. "Not much."

Chuck shook his head and spoke in a voice that told Blair he was close to tears. "I assume we are close to the end of the story."

"Yeah, we are. I was able to keep Jack's mind off sex until he ran into me about a week and a half ago in the lobby. It was the morning after we had slept together and Jack, being Jack realized this and demanded the same treatment. That night I tried to back out and he wouldn't let me, then he suggested some cocaine to settle my nerves, I did it and the rest of the night flew. The next morning I woke up remembering everything. I didn't sleep with Jack on New Years Eve, I got sick and he put me in his bed, dressed in his shirt. I told Jack that I remembered and he told me he loved me. I practically laughed in his face and told him that it was over, so he called you." Blair sat there completely out of breath and exhausted as Chuck took everything in. He had a look of astonishment on his face but at the same time she could tell that he was really thinking.

Chuck didn't know what to do. He knew that Blair had been trying to protect him in doing what she did. She had been trying to protect him even when he was treating her like crap but she still did it. She thought she had slept with Jack, lied to him about it, and then did actually sleep with Jack.

"What are you thinking?" Blair said after what felt like forever.

Chuck exhaled. "I get it and I know that you were looking out for me and Jack's a monster for manipulating you the way he did; but Blair, you lied to me. You lied to me over and over again."

"I know Chuck and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Blair said, eyes brimming with tears.

Chuck looked at her. "You thought you slept with Jack, so you slept with him what you thought was a second time to keep me from finding out about the first time. The fact that you found out that you didn't actually sleep with him the first time doesn't change anything Blair."

The tears that had been threatening to fall suddenly did just that and Blair couldn't do a thing to stop them; but Chuck reached up with his hands and brushed them away. "But that you did it because of me does. You were only lonely in the first place because of me and I have put you through so much."

Just then their phones buzzed and both looked down to read Gossip Girl's latest blast.

**Look what I found here kiddies. J and B getting a little dirty out in the streets of Manhattan. Could it be that those two are more than just friends? I bet I know one person who's not going to be happy about that. Sorry to rain on your perfect parade C, but I think you should talk to your girlfriend about this one. **

**xoxo **

**gossip girl **

Chuck looked down at the picture nostrils flaring. He had been about to forgive her yet here she was on Gossip Girl with Jack's hands all over her. "How could I have been so stupid?" Chuck spat, looking up at her with hate filled eyes.

"It's not what it looks like Chuck." Blair said defensively because it really wasn't what it looked like. In that picture Gossip Girl had posted, it looked like she and Jack were sharing an intimate moment on the streets of New York. Him whispering sweet nothings in her ear as he caressed her cheek. She looked like she was enjoying it.

"Blair this was taken today, you are wearing the same outfit." Chuck growled standing up.

Blair rushed to explain herself. "Jack read the blast that said I was at Serena's. He was waiting for me outside. I was trying to get him to leave me alone."

Chuck glared at her. "That's certainly not what it looks like in this picture, Blair."

"I'm aware of that, but you have to believe me, I was trying to get away from him. He's strong Chuck. Look at the picture in the way he's holding my arm. I was on the curb trying desperately to get a cab." Blair said holding out her phone with the picture on it as proof.

Chuck took another look at the picture before suddenly sitting down on the bed and letting his head fall into his hands.

Blair just sat there for a moment unsure of what to do. She didn't want to make things any worse than they already were.

Finally, Chuck spoke. "I want to believe you Blair but right now I really can't trust you."

Blair was trying so hard to keep the angry tears from falling. She was so angry at Jack for finding her this morning, at Chuck for not believing her, and at herself for getting into the whole mess in the first place.

Chuck looked deeply into her eyes. "I want to trust you Blair because . . . because I . . . I"

Suddenly Blair was looking at him, really looking at him. Chuck was finally going to say it. He was going to say it and actually mean it. "You what Chuck?" She asked softly.

"I can't, I can't do this not right now." Chuck said abruptly standing.

Blair was unexpectedly furious, so unexpectedly that she didn't know how to control it. "Why can you only tell me that you love me when you actually hate me or when you think I'm asleep?" Blair said, the fury in her voice easily discernable.

Chuck was taken off guard by Blair's outburst. "Since when did I become the one being questioned here? I was trying to forgive you and you make this about me and something I've done wrong." Chuck shouted.

Blair was standing now too and completely livid. "No this doesn't get to be all about me Chuck. This relationship isn't ever going to get anywhere is it because every time we get close you push me as far away as you can. So yeah this time the excuse is what happened with Jack, but what about the time before that when your father died, and the time before that Vanessa was it? Or you're scared, or my past with Nate, or your friendship with Nate. When's it ever going to stop Chuck?"

"Get out." Chuck didn't know what else to say. "Get out before one of us says something we can't take back."

"Too late." Blair said grabbing her purse and making her way towards the door where she suddenly stopped and turned around.

Chuck was startled by the tears pouring down her face and even more surprised when she spoke.

"Are we done?" Blair asked through her tears.

"I already said get out so I think that pretty much ends the conversation." Chuck said a curious expression on his face.

Blair shook her head slowly. "No I mean, are we, the two of us, done? Is this relationship, whatever it is, over?"

Chuck looked right into her eyes as he said. "I don't know."

Blair looked as though she might collapse and it felt as though her entire world was falling apart all over again. After a moment, she seemed to have somewhat regained her composure. "Jack was right about us then." And then she left, leaving Chuck to ponder exactly what it was that she meant.

* * *

_**When it gets cold outside and you've got nobody to love  
You'll understand what I mean when I say  
There's no way we're gonna give up**_

Blair opened the door to Chuck's suite at a normal pace but as soon as it was shut she took off around the corner only to run strait into Jack. "What the hell are you doing here?" Blair said angrily pushing him away.

"Well that took longer than I imagined it would." Said Jack, yet as he let his eyes wander over Blair he continued. "However, from the looks of things, it ended exactly as I thought it would."

"Get out of my way Jack." Blair said venomously.

"How about no." Jack said pushing Blair against the wall, trapping her there with one arm on either side of her body.

_**And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams  
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe  
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe**_

Blair studied his face closely and realized that something really was off with him. He looked different. The amount of self satisfaction on his features was almost too much. Too much at least to have not had some sort of role in this. "You sent the Gossip Girl blast." Blair said as a statement, not a question.

"Of course." Said Jack smugly. "I couldn't very well have him taking you back now could I? That wouldn't fit in with the rest of my plans at all."

"You sick, manipulative, bastard." Blair spat. "He had forgiven me. We were going to be okay. Then that stupid blast came."

_**Does it kill?  
Does it burn?  
Is it painful to learn  
That it's me that has all the control?**_

Jack smirked. "Sounds like I was right on time then. Now I have business to attend to with Chuck but since you took too long getting your business with him finished it's going to be awhile before he is ready for me. What do you say we go up to my suite for some alone time?"

"Don't you realize Jack; you lost your last bargaining chip with me when you spilled the beans to Chuck. Whatever was going on between us is over." Blair said, getting a little of her normal swagger back.

A strange type of laugh came from Jack at her statement. "I think you're wrong Blair because you see, I know Chuck and Chuck is about to get more wasted than he's ever been in his life. You are so important to him and now, he's lost you." Jack said his breath hot on her face. "And then I'm going to go to him and I'm going to get the company."

_**Does it thrill?  
Does it sting?  
When you feel what I bring  
And you wish that you had me to hold?**_

Blair looked at him shocked. She thought that Jack had forgotten about Bass Industries; he had been so caught up in her lately. Or had she just been another pawn in his move for the company. The slight twinge of pain in her heart at that thought surprised her. Did she have feelings for Jack? No she was repulsed by him, she couldn't have feelings for that monster. "Chuck loves that company, there's no way he'd sign it over to you."

"We'll just have to see about that, won't we?" Jack said with a smirk. "Now who is underestimating who?" Jack added, quirking his eyebrow.

Blair knew Chuck, better than Jack and she knew Chuck would never sign over Bass Industries; especially not to Jack. "This time it's you who's wrong Jack. I know Chuck better than you."

_**When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love  
You'll understand what I mean when I say  
There's no way we're gonna give up**_

"Well Blair, you've seen firsthand just how good at manipulation I am. I manipulated you over and over again while you were sober. Just think what I could do with a drunken Chuck." Jack said looking as though he was enjoying the possibilities he was contemplating.

"You're sick." Blair spat.

Jack bent close to Blair's ear. "Yes, I am."

Blair was trembling; she didn't know what to do. She wanted to scream but who knew what Jack might do then and it wasn't like anyone would believe her, not after that picture on Gossip Girl. 

_**And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams  
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe  
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe**_

It was Jack who spoke next. "Or, you could come upstairs with me and perhaps persuade me that there are other things to be interested in than some company."

Blair felt nauseous and simply repeated. "You're sick." Before ducking under his arm. She was surprised that Jack didn't grab for her; instead he simply turned to watch her leave. As she backed away she said hatefully, "And Chuck will never fall for your tricks. You're going to lose."

Jack laughed again before saying with a smirk. "Like I said before, we'll see; but I'm feeling pretty optimistic."

_**Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe**_

Blair could barely breath as she then turned and ran for the elevator or the closest bathroom because she was about to be sick.

* * *

**I've always had a curious fascination with the Seven Deadly Sins. Why seven? Why not eight, or nine, or ten? While pondering that thought I've decided that there is an Eighth Deadly Sin; optimism. All optimism ever does is give you false hope, false strength; like pride but worse. Optimism is a sin because it leads you to overlook important things in the name of "hope" and "positive thinking;" it makes you less observant. But you see optimism is more than just a sin, it deserves a spot as the Eighth Deadly Sin because it's dangerous. When you are optimistic, you are on top of the world, with expectations that can't be met; eventually your going to fall and trust me, a fall from the top, is a long way down. Just ask B.**

**you know you love me**

**xoxo **

**gossip girl**

**

* * *

**

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed. Reviews are always appreciated. **

**The song is Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5  
**


	16. I Want the Truth

**A/N: This update took way longer than it was suppose to but it's a little longer than I originally planned and I had a minor injury falling down the stairs. I was stupid and put down my arm to catch myself and ended up spraining my wrist. It's feeling better BUT it makes typing take forever. **

**xoxo Kate.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

**

* * *

**

Chuck paced back and forth in his room holding a scotch bottle. This was a new low, even for him. But he was right when he had told Blair earlier that he had broken all of his glasses and he needed a drink. He took a seat on his kitchen counter of all places. He couldn't sit in his bedroom, too many memories of Blair, and this was the only other location that he could find without glass on it. He didn't know what he was going to do about the situation with Blair. He knew she hadn't been trying to hurt him, that she had been trying to prevent him getting hurt, but how was he supposed to trust her after this? He wanted to, but with Jack around he didn't know if he could. She had called after she left. She had called so many times that he shut off his cell. They had nothing left to say to each other today.

* * *

Damn it, Chuck wasn't answering his phone. She had started calling almost right after she left the hotel. It had taken her about the length of the trip home to realize that Jack was right. Chuck was going to grab the nearest bottle of scotch and drown his sorrows and doubts. Normally, Blair would think that Chuck could hold his own, even when drunk, but this was Jack they were talking about. He was a master manipulator and he hadn't been kidding earlier when he said he wanted the company. She dialed again, crossing her fingers in the hope that Chuck would actually answer his cell phone. UGH, she should have known that he wasn't going to answer; in his head they were done talking for today.

She was going to have to do something, she couldn't let Jack trick Chuck into signing over the company. The company was Bart's legacy, a legacy that she had agreed to help protect. Blair opened the drawer to her vanity and pulled out Bart's letter. She had been so stupid; how did she not realize that getting the company was Jack's goal all along. No it wasn't stupidity, it was arrogance and vanity. Bart had warned her that Jack was after the company yet somehow Jack had still managed to throw her off her game, he had distracted her from looking after Chuck and managed to use her as a pawn in this whole mess. She slammed her hand down on her vanity, she was done being used and she was done slacking off on what Bart asked her to do. This was the end of moping Blair; she had a company to save and hopefully in the process she could get Chuck back.

So only an hour or so after she got home, Blair tucked Bart's letter into her purse and caught another cab to head back to the Upper West Side and the Palace Hotel; she just prayed that she wasn't too late.

* * *

Chuck took another swig from the bottle and started towards the phone. He needed to call housekeeping and get the room cleaned back up; it was a wreck. Just as he was about to dial he heard a knock at the door. _Who the hell was stopping by now?_ He knew Blair wasn't back already, she knew he needed time, but that didn't mean that Serena or Lily wouldn't come by to try to plead her case. He groaned as he walked toward the door. "Whoever it is, you can go away!"

"Chuck. It's Jack, open up." Jack yelled in response.

A rush of anger swept through Chuck. Jack was the last person that he would open the door for. "Like hell." Chuck called.

Jack knew all along that getting Chuck to open the door would be the most difficult part of his plan. He had to choose his words carefully. "Chuck I'm leaving. I'm going back to Australia, you just have to sign these papers." That should do the trick.

What had Jack just said? That he was going back to Australia. If Jack was gone, maybe he and Blair could actually fix things. Chuck took yet another swig of the scotch before opening the door to see that sure enough Jack was standing there with papers in hand. "What exactly is it that you want?"

Jack tried his best not to smirk, this was going to be the easiest thing he had done since he had gotten back to New York. "I want to go back to Australia. You're back and Bart left you the company not me, which is why I was here to begin with. It's time for me to go home."

Chuck narrowed his eyes. "And you think I believe you, after everything that you have done to me and Blair since you got here?"

"I'm sorry about all that Chuck, I am. I was just having some fun and it got out of hand. And if you will just signs these papers, it will be over for good." Jack said, being sure to keep his voice even.

"What are the papers?" Chuck said still skeptical as he took the papers in his hand and setting down the bottle of scotch.

Jack ran a hand over his head, trying his best to look sincere. "Relocation papers within the company. It will put me back in charge of Bass Australia because coming here meant leaving someone else over it. I'm good at what I do Chuck, you know that." Jack paused, waiting on affirmation for Chuck.

Chuck gave a quick nod of his head, before taking a hard look at his uncle and asking the question that mattered more than he was willing to admit. "And what of Blair?"

Jack looked back towards Chuck. He had heard a distinct change in his nephew's voice. What he said next could very well determine whether or not he succeeded. "You won, I lost. There's nothing left to say."

"Tell me the truth about what happened between the too of you." Chuck said his voice rough from the alcohol consumption.

Jack answered without thinking. "I wanted her more than I've ever wanted any woman in my life and she only ever wanted you. What else matters?"

"And yet she slept with you." Chuck said his voice snarky.

"You've got Blair, if only you'd let go of the past, what more could you want?" Jack said, tired of these immature ramblings from Chuck. He had Blair, who cared who she had slept with in the process, if he won the prize in the end.

"I want the truth!" Chuck spat, his voice raised.

"I'm telling you the truth!" Jack shouted in return. "You are such an ignorant little prick. You think you know everything, or more than that, you think you have to know everything when you should just accept some things for the way they are. You have Blair, you have the one thing that I wanted and couldn't get; now let me leave with what little dignity I have left. Sign the damn papers and I'll be out of yours and Blair's lives for good."

* * *

Blair was ready to scream. Damn it, why did it take so long to get from her house to Chuck's apartment. She knew she had to be running out of time. Chuck's phone was going strait to voicemail now so he must have turned it off. She couldn't let this happen, she couldn't allow Chuck to sign over his company so she called the one person that she knew could stop it.

* * *

Chuck tried to keep the shocked expression from his face and he looked down at the papers still in his hand to cover the astonishment that he couldn't hide. He quickly scanned the front page, he didn't want to be tricked by Jack, not with so much on the line. He still couldn't believe what Jack had admitted to him about his feelings for Blair; but nothing seemed amiss with the papers. The front page detailed exactly what Jack had said. Chuck quickly took a pin being offered to him by Jack.

"Just sign the bottom of each page" Jack instructed as he passed the pin. As Chuck was doing exactly that, Jack was surprised by the sound of his phone ringing. His eyes widened as he saw the caller id. He motioned to Chuck, letting him know that he needed to take the call whispering. "Hello Lindsey, It's been a while since I've heard from you."

"Oh god, you're already with Chuck." Blair said remembering that Lindsey was what he use to call her whenever he couldn't say her real name out loud.

Jack smirked. "Yes dear I am. He's just signing some papers for me right now."

"Damn it Jack, no! Don't do this, please don't do this." Blair pleaded into the phone. Her cab was finally nearing the Palace Hotel; but unless she managed to change Jack's mind, it didn't matter.

"Sweetheart, that just doesn't work for me. How about dinner tomorrow night instead?" Jack said into the phone in his nicest voice. He knew he was taunting her.

Blair practically hissed into the phone. "Okay, I'll have dinner with you tomorrow and I'll sleep with you afterwards if you'll just leave Chuck and the company alone." She'd already slept with him once right? She was bordering on desperation now, she couldn't lose this battle.

Jack's head was swimming, what the hell had Blair just offered him? "Are you being serious?"

"Yes." Blair said before continuing. "Chuck can do this without me now. He'll be okay if I'm not in his life. He can't lose the company; it's the only proof that his father believed in him and that Chuck is still running it is all that he has to show everyone that his father's final opinion of him was the right one." By now, Blair was running through the lobby towards the elevator.

Jack couldn't believe his ears, but for some reason what she said angered him. Jack was of the opinion that dear old Bart was wrong about Chuck. "Lindsey I don't think that you would keep up your end of that deal. Plus I think I like this one better. I think this will give me what I want the most. Although I still think we should have dinner tomorrow night."

"Wait!" Blair called out as she waited on the elevator. "Is there anything that I can do to convince you not to do this?"

"I know where you are right now and where you are trying to get to Lindsey. I don't like playing games. Like I said before the second I do what you want you'll back out of any date we make so there's absolutely no point in delaying the inevitable. Goodnight baby."

Damn it, Blair thought as she got on the elevator, she was so close. Maybe she could still make it

Chuck looked back up at Jack once more, signed papers in hand. "One more thing and then I never want to see you again. What did you say to Blair about our relationship? When I told her that we might be over she said that you were right about us, what did she mean?"

Jack shook his head reaching for the signed papers. "I told her that you wouldn't forgive her; that it was over. Call it my last ditch effort to win her over."

Chuck nodded as he passed Jack the papers. "When will you leave for Australia?" He wanted Jack gone, because then maybe he and Blair really could work things out.

Jack frowned. He was doing his best to keep his face serious; after all, Chuck had no idea what he had just done. "Probably two or three weeks. I have a few loose ends to tie up here then I'm gone."

"Don't feel the need to say goodbye when you do." Chuck said, walking over to the door and holding it open, waiting for Jack to take the hint and leave.

"Have a good life Chuck. I'm sorry our relationship was destroyed over this mess." Jack said as he walked out.

Chuck just shook his head and slammed the door. He could hardly believe it; Jack Bass was really gone.

Jack walked toward the elevator with a smile on his face. As the elevator opened, none other than Blair Waldorf stepped out. "I knew you were close." Jack said with a smirk. "You did a good job distracting me you know. You got really close."

Blair took two steps towards Jack. She reached up and touched his cheek gently. "You know me well don't you Jack."

Jack was startled, what kind of game was Blair playing? He didn't trust her but he was sure as hell going to enjoy it. "Yes I do Blair, yes I do."

At that she reached up with both hands and kissed him. She kissed him in a way that she knew would knock him off his feet. As he deepened the kiss and let his briefcase drop, she let her hands roam his body. She rubbed up and down his back all the way to his ass. She moved her hands to his chest and ran her hands up until they were wrapped around his neck. Blair pushed him up against the wall and started unzipping his pants and unfastening his belt.

Jack pulled back slightly, "What are you doing Blair?"

"Are you complaining?" She asked her voice husky. "Because I feel like being dangerous right now. "

In response, Jack started kissing her again. Blair loosened his pants as though she was about to reach inside when suddenly she pulled them down, grabbed for the briefcase and started running.

Jack started running after her but his pants fell down and he had to grab for them. Damn it, he should have known better. He was thinking with his dick instead of his head. He seemed to have that problem a lot around Blair. He knew that she could only be running for Chuck's room so he quickly fastened his pants and ran after her.

Blair ran quickly down the hallways, she hadn't bought herself much time; but she finally reached the end of the hall near Chuck's room. She dumped out the briefcase and started searching. The papers had to be in there somewhere, she had checked all of Jack's body for them first. Not it, not it, not it, she thought throwing papers all over. Just as Jack started around the corner she spotted what she was looking for just as Jack ran up. Blair reached for the paper but Jack got there first.

"I don't think so Blair, I've worked too hard for this little slip of paper, there's no way you are taking it away from me." Jack said backing up.

Blair was furious with herself. Why hadn't she tried to get Chuck to let her in? She decided to try to surprise Jack and lunged for him, tackling him to the ground.

Damn it, he hadn't been expecting that. Jack did his best to keep the papers out of reach as they rolled around on the ground.

Suddenly the door to Chuck's suite opened. "What the hell is going on out here?"

The sound of Chuck's voice startled them both enough to pause for a moment in the midst of their battle. "Chuck?" They both said seemingly in unison.

"Blair what are you doing?" Chuck asked, his voice full of disbelief and anger. "Why don't you guys just get a room?"

Both Jack and Blair struggled to get up, while trying to get the papers. "Chuck it's not what it looks like! Help me get those papers you signed." Blair yelled as she tried to keep Jack from putting them away.

"No Blair, those papers are just to send Jack back to Australia." Chuck said shaking his head and reaching for Blair.

"That's what you told him?" Blair asked Jack incredulously. Then she turned back to Chuck. "He lied Chuck. Those papers sign over all of your shares in the company to Jack." Blair said, but it was too late. Chuck had managed to grab her arms long enough for Jack to put the papers in his jacket pocket.

"No they weren't Blair I checked them over." Chuck said letting her go now that Jack was backing away.

"Did you check every page you signed Chuck?" Blair asked softly as she looked towards Jack.

Suddenly, Jack stopped halfway down the hall. "Well I meant to save the surprise for the board meeting Thursday but I suppose there's no harm in doing it now. I assume this is the page you looked at, Chuck." Jack said holding up a piece of paper. Then he ripped it in two as he looked at Chuck and Blair. "That's about as much as that paper meant."

"You son-of-a-bitch!" Chuck shouted as both he and Blair started chasing after Jack. Jack reached the stairs way ahead of them and ran up to his floor. By the time they reached Jack's room he had long ago shut the door. "Open the door Jack!" Chuck said beating on the door. But Blair had backed against the wall, where she slid to the floor.

"What are you going to do Chuck? Kill him? I'm sure the papers are locked in the safe by now." Tears were starting to seep down her cheeks.

Chuck turned toward her. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT." He shouted. "I AGREED TO SIGN THE DAMN PAPERS BECAUSE I WANTED JACK AWAY FROM YOU." He was screaming at the top of his lungs.

Blair was sobbing and repeating over and over. "I'm sorry Chuck, I'm so sorry."

"BECAUSE OF YOU, I'VE LOST THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN MY LIFE!" Suddenly, Chuck turned and stalked down the hall leaving Blair sitting on the floor sobbing.

Jack heard the entire exchange from the other side of the door. This was perfect. When had started telling Chuck off about Blair, it had taken him completely off guard. That hadn't been part of the plan. Yet he was nothing if not certain of what his next step was. He had the company, but he couldn't stop there; he had to have Blair. He was going to have it all and it was about damn time. Hell he might as well start now. "Are you okay?" He asked softly as he opened the door.

Blair looked up at him from her spot on the floor; her face was streaked with tears. "No, not that you care."

Jack sat down on the ground near her in a way that reminded Blair of the way Dan had sat near her after the photo shoot mishap so long ago.

"Damn it Blair I do care." Jack said through gritted teeth as he looked at her with hurt filled eyes.

"Then why are you doing this?" She asked her voice cracking. "I feel so used."

Jack looked at her, a confused expression on his face. "What do you mean, you feel used?"

More tears started to fall as Blair kept talking. "Oh come on Jack you can drop the charade now, I know I was just a pawn in your move to take over the company. You have what you want, you can quit pretending that you have actual feelings for me."

"Is that really what you think Blair?" Jack asked; not quite believing what he was hearing.

"It's the truth." Blair said as she tried to wipe away the tears that refused to stop falling.

Jack shook his head slightly. "Blair I didn't use you to get the company."

"Really, because I call making Chuck catch us together, then using his moment of weakness over what we did, to manipulate him and steal the company, using me." Blair said her voice sarcastic.

"I didn't . . .well I did, but just because it was convenient." Jack said, trying desperately to explain himself.

Blair narrowed her eyes. "Why would I believe that Jack? Why would I believe that I meant any more to you than a conquest on your way to destroying Chuck and winning the company?"

He couldn't believe that Blair really thought this; that he had just been using her to get to Chuck. It was true that she had come in handy in destroying his nephew; but that was just coincidence. "Blair, I wanted you before Chuck got home, before Bart's will was read, before I found out that I didn't already have the company. Surely you remember that." Jack said as he moved until he was sitting on his knees directly in front of her. When Blair didn't say anything he continued. "New Year's Eve was before I had even found Chuck and brought him back here, it was before I knew what you meant to him. I didn't want to hurt Chuck, to take what mattered most to him; but it was too late by then. I was already in love with you." Blair still hadn't said a word so Jack leaned in and kissed her. He could taste the salt on her unresponsive lips. He pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes. "I love you." He said again before kissing her once more. This time as he brought his hands up into her hair, she returned the kiss. Jack was surprised but he continued with the kiss; this was an opportunity that he wasn't going to waste.

Suddenly, Blair broke the kiss. "No, no Jack stop it. I can't do this."

Jack tried to hold back his anger. Now wasn't the time. "Why, because of Chuck? He doesn't treat you like you deserve to be treated Blair. You deserved to be worshipped, yet all he does is yell at you and blame you for the things in his life that are wrong. You don't deserve that."

Blair shook her head slightly. "You don't understand me and Chuck, Jack. He has been through so much in his life; he needs me to be there to believe in him. He has commitment issues but that's because no one's ever stayed long enough for him to move past them. And I love him so I have to be there for him."

"What I understand Blair, is that my nephew is a very messed up kid who can't give you what you deserve . . .I can." Jack said softly as he ran his thumb along her cheek.

Blair closed her eyes as he touched her. "Please don't touch me."

"If that's what you want I'll stop." Jack said, hoping that she wouldn't say that that was exactly what she wanted.

"Then stop because it is what I want." Blair said standing up.

Jack stood too, but it was Blair who spoke again. "Why do you want the company so badly Jack?"

He locked his jaw, doing his best to control his temper, bubbling ever close to the surface. "I've worked in that company for years and my sectors have always grown under my leadership. I have devoted all my time and energy to that company only to have my brother leave it to his irresponsible son who knows nothing about business. It's not right."

"It's his legacy Jack." Blair said quietly.

"Yet it's my life's work." Jack said immediately.

Blair shook her head. "There's no changing your mind is there?"

"No." Jack said bluntly.

"Then you don't love me." Blair spoke so assuredly that Jack was taken aback.

Jack took a deep breath. "Not enough apparently."

"Goodbye Jack." Blair said as she walked away.

He watched her go without a word. He wanted nothing more than to call out to her and bring her back but he wasn't willing to do what she asked. He had worked too hard for too long to let her come between him and the company; but damn it he did love her.

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**A/N: I'm sure you all hate me right about now. Don't forget Blair's 29 shares in the company that prevent Jack from actually having controlling interest. I doubt she'll remain a silent share holder with Jack holding the other 30 instead of Chuck. ;)**

**Reviews are always appreciated.**


	17. Some Questions' Answers We Don't Like

**A/N: This update took way longer than it was suppose to but it's a little longer than I originally planned so I split it into two separate chapters. Which means as soon as I finish my other two fanfics I'll have another update! By the way, I've started a new progress type thing on my profile and I'll be updating that regularly to give you guys an idea of how it's going.  
xoxo Kate.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

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Blair was staring at her reflection in her vanity mirror thinking that Chuck was right. This really was all her fault. If she had been honest with Chuck from the start none of this would have happened. Or when Jack told her what he was going to do she should have turned right around and told Chuck. She could have stopped this; she could have done something else. She had been so worried about fixing things with Chuck that she had forgotten all about the company. Thank God, Bart was a better businessman than she was.

If only there was a way that she could fix this. She knew that Chuck would only come back to her if she fixed the mess with Jack. But getting Chuck back couldn't be her goal; the company had to come first now. That meant that she had to be willing to lose him for good, if it meant that she got the company out of Jack's hands.

"Miss. Blair, Mr. Bass is here for you." Dorota called up the stairs.

Blair jumped. Her heart told her that Chuck was here; but her head told her that it was Jack. In times like these, she found that her head was usually right. She steadied herself and took a deep breath. Now was as good a time as any to start working on getting the company. It was Monday afternoon; Chuck hadn't shown up for school today, the major board meeting about the possible takeover of the other company was Thursday morning. She was going to that board meeting one way or the other and she would much rather go as majority share holder than with only 29 shares. Even more than that she would like to give the company back to Chuck but for now that wasn't likely. For now she just needed to focus on getting the company.

With that she walked out of her room and started down the stairs. She was unsurprised by the fact that it was Jack Bass standing in her foyer.

Jack turned and his breath caught in his throat, God she looked amazing. Her brown hair was pulled up into a ponytail; a rare thing for Blair, her eye make-up was a little darker and she had a nude lip. The dress she was wearing was exquisite, a pale pink backless gown. "You're beautiful." Jack spoke assuredly.

"Thanks, the dress is one of my mother's . . ." Blair started nonchalantly.

Jack shook his head and interrupted. "Not you look beautiful Blair; you are beautiful."

Blair had reached the bottom of the stairs by this point. "Thank you, Jack." She couldn't help but blush. "Now do you want to tell me why you are here?" She asked crossing her arms.

He didn't answer her question instead he asked. "Where are you headed, I mean, why are you dressed like this?"

She went ahead and answered, it wasn't like he could do anything else to her. "There is a gala tonight hosted by the Junior League, at the Palace actually, and since I'm officially a member after last season's Debutante Ball, my attendance, while not required is suggested." Then almost as an afterthought she added. "Plus, I don't mind, it should be fun."

"You should wear the necklace I gave you, it would go well with your dress and you need just a little something." Jack said, gesturing to her dress; then as though he realized that what he said might have been offensive, he started to babble. "Not that you don't already look amazing, I just mean that the ensemble could use a little you know sparkle. You really do . . ."

Blair had to work hard to hold a straight face as Jack babbled, but she finally broke down and laughed. "Take it easy Jack; it's fine." After composing herself, Blair shrugged and gave a little smirk. "Besides, I probably will because I think you might be right, the dress is a little plain."

Jack smile and spoke before he realized what exactly was coming out of his mouth. "So do you need a date for tonight?" After he said it he internally acknowledged the fact that he was only half joking.

"You wish." Blair said laughing once more.

Jack shrugged, he wasn't afraid to admit it, not anymore. "Yeah, I do."

Blair felt the sudden need to explain herself. "But no, I don't. It's going to be mostly ladies and I'll be with my girlfriends tonight. I've not spent time with them in so long because you know I was dating two guys." Jack nodded and there was a slightly uncomfortable silence before Blair kept talking, "I really need to finish getting ready so if what you are going to say will take longer than two minutes, you should just come upstairs."

"Lead the way." Jack said gesturing upwards. He didn't know how long it had been since he and Blair had had a normal conversation like this. In fact the last time they just talked, not counting all of the dates he had forced her to go on, was probably before New Year's Eve. He had fallen for her in the midst of ordinary conversations like this, not during the scheming.

Blair picked up the hem of her dress and started walking up the stairs, knowing that Jack was following close behind. She was playing with fire again but she was fairly certain that she was safe with Jack; that he wouldn't do anything to harm her. Suddenly, she had a bizarre thought, or maybe it was a realization, one that she didn't expect to have in a million years. She didn't hate Jack. After everything that he had done to her, after everything that he had done to Chuck; she should loathe him, she used to loathe him. What had changed? This abrupt discovery surprised her so much, she felt like she might collapse and she lost her hold on the hem of her dress, causing her to trip.

As soon as Jack saw Blair lose her footing on the stairs, he rushed up and caught her from behind. He wrapped his arms around her to steady her and lifted her to help her regain her footing. Holy shit, she was shaking all over. "Hey, you're okay, I've got you."

"That's what scares me." Blair said softly as she turned her head until her check was against his chest and she could see Jack. Her eyes connected with his and she felt like they were the only two people in the world.

It was one of those moments that people read about in books or see in movies, where the tension was so thick that it was visible and everything in the air is screaming for you to just kiss the girl. So Jack listened to the hypothetical air and moved his face towards hers. Blair didn't move an inch as Jack brought his lips to her own.

A few seconds after Jack's lips touched hers, Blair moved like lightening, quickly stepping forward onto the next stair before continuing on to her room, knowing that Jack would follow. What had just happened? That had to have been a fluke, there was no way she had had those thoughts. Of course she hated Jack; she was just tolerating his presence because he had what she wanted, the company, right? Of course that was right, she told herself as she reached her vanity and took a look at her reflection. She loved Chuck; Jack was just the person that she had to go through to get what she wanted.

Jack paused for a moment on the stairs after Blair had left him. What the hell had just happened? That had felt real. He fully expected Blair to make a play for the company. After all that was half the reason he was here; he wanted to give her a fair shot at it, well that and check on her, yesterday had been rough for her and he wanted her to know that he was here for her, whatever she wanted. However, as much as he loved the woman, she wasn't a great actress, she couldn't have manufactured that moment. Hell, he didn't think that Angelina Jolie could have manufactured that moment. It wasn't like yesterday when he had been thinking with his dick instead of his head; where he allowed her to manipulate him because he was unsuspecting and therefore vulnerable. No, today he had been on his game and there had definitely been a moment. With that he followed her up the stairs. When he reached her bedroom, she had his necklace sitting in its case on the vanity and she was putting his earrings in her ears.

Blair turned her head slightly to look at him as he entered the room, with every intention of ignoring the fluke that had occurred on the stairs. "So why is it that you're here?" She asked struggling with the earring back.

It didn't take Jack long to figure out that Blair was going to act like the kiss on the stairs hadn't just happened. He was determined not to push her right now and he knew that if he said what he really came here to say, that the moment on the stairs was going to be forgotten completely. So instead he asked, "How was school today?"

Blair looked at him. The look in her eyes told him exactly what she thought of his lame diversionary tactic. "Seriously Jack, do you really expect me to believe that you came here today to ask me about school?"

Jack fiddled with his hands before sticking them in his front pockets. "No." He said meeting her inquiring gaze.

"Okay then, tell me why you're really here." Blair said assuredly while she struggled to clasp the necklace behind her neck. "And while you're at it, come help me with this clasp."

"Of course." Jack said, immediately striding forward, until he was standing in front of her.

"Thanks." Blair said as she handed him the necklace and pulled her ponytail out of the way.

Jack moved behind Blair and drew the necklace over her neck. He could feel her soft skin under his fingers as he worked to fasten the complicated clasp. Why were expensive necklaces so much like bank safes, impossible to crack? "Sorry this is by far one of the most difficult clasps that I have ever attempted to fasten." Jack said softly in her ear.

As his breath touched her ear, Blair trembled. Time seemed to freeze as Jack finally managed to fasten the necklace. Blair hadn't moved or spoken so neither did he. Jack allowed his fingers to trace along the necklace and noted that her chest was rising and falling rapidly under his touch. The other thing that he noticed was that she hadn't told him to stop. So slowly he bent forward and placed a kiss on her neck, right at the clasp. Jack dropped his hands and began to run one of them up the side of her gown. He could hear Blair breathing heavily as he continued placing kisses along her necklace until he reached her shoulder where he moved up to her ear.

_**You've got magic inside your fingertips.  
It's leaking out all over my skin yeah.  
Every time that I get close to you,  
You're making me weak with the way you look through those eyes. **_

Blair closed her eyes. She felt completely frozen. Jack's lips felt like electric shocks along her neck every time they touched. And each time after he moved his lips, the burn remained. Her skin felt like it was on fire and it felt _so_ good.

"Turn around." Jack whispered in her ear, allowing his lips to brush as he spoke.

His voice reverberated all down her body, sending shivers down her spine. Blair slowly let go of her ponytail and turned until she was facing Jack, who was leaning down. She expected his lips to touch her own, a feeling that she was very much longing for at that moment; however, they resumed their prior mission and kissed her neckline along the necklace. She felt Jack's hands as they grazed her sides, his touch gradually becoming more tangible and more insistent.

_**But all I see is your face.  
All I need is your touch.  
Wake me up with your lips.  
Come at me from up above, yeah.  
I need you**_

Jack continued his kisses. He knew that if he brought his mouth to hers right now, she wouldn't stop him right away, but eventually she would. However, he also knew that if he took a chance and continued what he was doing; Blair might make the next more, which was something he desperately longed for her to do. He wanted it if only because it would validate this for him. It would assure him that all of his attentions were not simply being pushed down a never-ending black hole of destruction that she labeled her love for Chuck.

She didn't know what she was doing and suddenly she didn't care. She didn't know when it had happened, something had changed drastically. Jack's touch use to make her cringe but right now it felt exquisite, when she kissed him it used to make her stomach turn and right now all she wanted was his lips on hers. Last night in the hallway he had shown her something, something that contrasted so drastically with everything about Chuck lately that it had changed things. She shouldn't be doing this, but she wanted Jack. This was bad, this was really_ really_ bad, but oh God it felt so good. That's when Blair got tired of the spine tingling kisses along her neck and grabbed his face in both her hands, bringing those insistent lips to her mouth.

_**I remember the way that you move.  
You're dancing easily through my dreams.  
It's hitting me harder and harder with all your smiles.  
You are crazy gentle in the way you kiss.**_

Jack met her lips with a kiss that could have brought a princess that had been dead for days back to life. As she deepened the kiss further, sliding her tongue into his waiting mouth, he gave his hands free reign over her body. Blair was breathing hard as she pulled back slightly and pushed off his jacket.

As she started to undo his tie, Jack noticed that a lock of hair had fallen out of her ponytail. He tenderly brushed it off her face, keeping his hand on her check, lightly tracing circles there with his thumb.

_**All I see is your face.  
All I need is your touch.  
Wake me up with your lips.  
Come at me from up above.**_

Blair looked up at him and saw the unguarded affection in his eyes. She knew that her eyes held a very different emotion. She knew that they were filled simply with desire and she made an effort to soften them.

Jack saw what Blair was doing with her eyes and he shook his head, "You don't need to fake anything with me, ever." He said quietly.

Blair nodded and surprised him by taking both hands and pushing him onto the bed. She unzipped her dress and let it fall to the ground leaving her in her La Perla underwear and strapless bra. She quickly opened her side table and withdrew something quickly.

_**Oh baby, I need you to see me the way I see you.  
Love me wide awake in the middle of my dreams. **_

Jack was in his pants alone, lying on the bed as Blair climbed onto the bed on her knees. She climbed on slowly, placing one knee on either side of him, straddling him. She fell forward onto her hands and gradually crawled up towards his face. Once there she bent down and kissed him deeply allowing him to run his hands down her body and over her ass, causing her to moan into his lips. Slowly she brought her lips to her ear and her hand to his. "Put this on." She said her voice husky as she placed a condom in his hand.

"What's this Blair? You know I don't have anything." Jack said softly, almost teasing as he kissed her again, lightly pulling on her lip with his teeth.

Blair broke this kiss after a moment, pulling just far enough away to speak. "Yeah, but I don't want to get pregnant." She kissed him again, God his lips felt so good on hers.

This time it was Jack who pulled away slightly, "You're not on birth control?" He asked, each word spoken in a measured controlled tone, any hint of teasing gone.

"No, I've never tried it." Blair said nonchalantly. "I mean, why mess with my hormones when condoms do the trick?" She asked rhetorically as she leaned back in.

Her lips had just touched his when Jack took her shoulders and pushed back slightly. How was he supposed to tell her this? She was going to hate him, but right now that didn't matter, this was something she had to know. "Blair," He began hesitantly. "Last time when we were together, we didn't use protection."

She pulled back sharply, "Excuse me, I must have heard you wrong because it sounded to me like you just said that we didn't use protection when we slept together two weeks ago." She said her voice as sharp as her movement.

"I'm sorry Blair; I assumed that you were on the pill since you were already sleeping with Chuck. I didn't take my nephew to be one for condoms." Jack reached up and placed his hand on the side of her face but Blair jerked away.

She sat back, letting her but hit the mattress and her head fell into her hands with her elbows perched on her knees. "Oh my God, Chuck."

"What is it Blair?" Jack asked sitting up. He could tell there was more, Blair had just realized something and whatever it was it wasn't good.

"Chuck let go inside me the night before you and I . . ." Blair said looking up. "I ran into you that morning in the lobby and completely forgot to go to the pharmacist and pick up Plan B."

"Then that night you and I slept together . . . without protection." Jack said, finishing her thought.

Blair bit her lip looking at him. "It's been way too long to use Plan B now, there's a five day limit on its effectiveness."

Jack gently stroked her shoulder and slid his hand down to rub her back. "It's okay Blair, really don't panic until you're certain that there's something to actually panic about. When are you supposed to start?"

She looked back up at him, her eyes conveying just how scared she was. "I'm late. I should have started yesterday."

"One day off isn't a lot right? That's not too abnormal is it?" Jack said stroking her hair as he tried to rationalize. Shit what had he done, Blair could be pregnant; he had put the most important thing in his life at risk. She was never going to forgive him for this, which was completely understandable since he was never going to forgive himself. He had had no right to assume what he did, damn it.

One tear managed to fall and she strove to hold the others threatening to do the same at bay. "No but under the current circumstances . . ." She trailed off looking down.

"When will you be able to take the test?" Jack asked quietly.

The tears were beginning to fall of their own volition. "I don't know, Jack." Blair said through the veil of tears. "I can take it at five weeks I think."

"I'm so sorry." He said pulling her to his bare chest and letting his hands rub her back in an attempt to soothe her. "Baby, I am so sorry." He felt her wet tears hit his bare skin as he continued to hold her tightly to him. "Whatever happens, I'll be here."

Blair rapidly pulled back, she felt like lashing out to relieve the sea of stress and anxiety, roaring under the surface and Jack was the one in front of her. "Oh this is rich isn't it? The guy who blackmailed me into sleeping with him is telling me he'll be here for me if I'm carrying his child while the man I love wants absolutely nothing to do with me and has been treating me like I'm worthless ever since the death of his father and the other guy's brother. I should type it up and send it in to a soap opera. They can even have a poll to see who the viewing audience thinks is my baby daddy. I'm sure it'll be a big hit in trailer parks all across America."

Jack just looked at her. She needed to vent, he knew that; but the words that came out of her mouth hurt. They hurt because he knew that they were true. "I'm sorry." He said knowing that it wouldn't do any good.

"You're sorry. You're sorry?" Blair said her voice rising. "I think that it's a little late for sorry, don't you? You never told me why you came here in the first place Jack. Did you come here to try to get me in bed? Was that your plan because there had to be a plan; don't we all know, Jack Bass always has an agenda?"

Oh shit, this was going downhill quickly. It was snowballing and he had to put a stop to it soon or the damage done might be permanent. "I don't have an agenda Blair, I sear. I came by to ask you what you wanted from me, to prove to you that I love you. I know you don't believe me and I'll do anything other than give up the company to prove it to you." What Blair didn't realize was that he couldn't give up the company because then Chuck would have everything again and he would be left with nothing. He had to have something left in the end.

A devilish look overcame Blair's features as Jack spoke. "What I want, let's see what do I want?"

As she paused for a moment Jack held up a hand, "Before you answer that stop acting like a child, you are so much better than that, and think. I know that you are stressed out and it's mostly my fault; but I want you to really think about what you really want before you tell me because whatever it is, I'm going to give it to you and I don't want you to say something ridiculous to be funny or something you don't really mean, that you would regret saying later."

At first Blair was going to snap his head off, but as he spoke she became more subdued. He was right; she was handling this situation like a freshman or sophomore. She was eighteen years old and it was high time she started acting like it.

Jack could tell that she was really thinking. He had seen the change in her eyes. Blair was back and the girl who had been lashing out a few moments before was put soundly away.

When Blair finally spoke, she did so with conviction. "If you want to prove to me that you love me, show me that you love me enough to put my happiness above your own. Convince Chuck to take me back." She paused for a moment, her voice softening. "Love me enough to let me go."

Jack should have seen this coming, he really should have. He gave his word that he would do whatever it was that she wanted. That's not all he should have seen coming though; he should have realized that the day would come when he _would _care more about her happiness than his, the day that he would make this kind of promise. "If that's what you want, I'll do it."

"That's what I want." Blair said getting up off the bed.

Both of them started putting their clothes back on. "Can you zip me?" Blair asked interrupting Jack as he re-tied his tie.

"Yeah, no problem." Jack said, zipping her quickly. He was careful this time not to allow his fingers to linger on her bare skin. "There you go." He said backing up.

Blair looked at herself in her full length mirror. "Oh God, I look like a hot mess."

Jack just shook his head. "You look absolutely gorgeous Blair. Once you've retouched your make-up, you'll look perfect."

"But my hair . . ." Blair began.

Jack interrupted as he put on his jacket. "Looks better a little mess. It looked entirely too done before."

Blair rolled her eyes but then as she looked back in the mirror, she realized that he was once again right. "When did you get so good at judging a woman's appearance?" She asked, looking at him through their reflection in the mirror.

"I know what I like." Jack said shrugging. "I should go." He said walking forward until he was directly in front of Blair.

She nodded. "Yeah, I need to leave soon." She couldn't seem to quite meet his eye at the moment, not after what she had just asked him to do for her.

Jack reached out and lifted her chin gently, until her eyes met his. "Goodbye Blair." He said before leaning down and placing a quick kiss on her lips.

Jack was already gone from the room when she whispered, "Goodbye Jack." As she smoothed down her dress while looking in the mirror, Blair couldn't help her hand from lingering on her abdomen. What was she going to do if she was carrying a Bass, especially if it was the spawn of Jack? No matter who the father was, if she was pregnant, all hell was going to break loose.

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**A/N: Some of you probably aren't very happy with me if I had to guess, while others of you are probably elated. As much as I love you all, the story is going to go where I want it to go; it is up to you whether or not you read it. However, feel free to review and let me know your opinion because some of my best storylines have come from reviewers. LOVE YOU ALL and to those of you who do bother to review I just wanted to let you know that I do appreciate it :) **

**The song is Magic by Colbie Calliat**


	18. The Biggest Mistake You Could Make

**A/N: So here is the second part, not as long as the first but this was a good stopping place. **  
**xoxo Kate.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or its characters**

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

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Jack had stopped by the front desk and gotten a key to Chuck's room. He knew that there was no way that Chuck was going to let him in himself and as his legal guardian; he had the power to get in anyway. But he did knock if only to give his nephew the choice. "Chuck, it's Jack, I know you don't want to see me but open the door." Jack paused knowing that that wouldn't be enough. "It's about Blair." He could hear Chuck almost right on the other side of the door.

Chuck grunted as he moved to the door. He really wasn't a big fan of Jack at the moment and honestly Jack was lucky that Chuck didn't open the door and throttle him. "Anything you have to say to me can be said through the door Jack." Chuck called.

When Chuck spoke, Jack was surprised. The kid hadn't been drinking at all, he sounded clearer than he ever did. But this wasn't a hallway conversation. "Not this Chuck. Let me in or I'll just have to open the door myself.

"How do you plan on doing that?" Chuck asked as he saw the doorknob turn. He stepped back quickly. "What the hell, Jack?" He asked as Jack stepped into the room, his room, without him opening the door.

"I'm still your guardian, remember." Jack said matter-of-factly, as he took a seat at the newly cleaned table.

"What are you doing here Jack?" Chuck asked, his hands balling into fists, as he paced back and forth across the room. Seriously, who did Jack think he was? He ruined things with him and Blair, he stole the company, what else could he want?

Jack smirked a little. "I'm here to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life."

"Too late." Chuck said through narrow eyes. "I already signed over the company to you."

Jack just shook his head. "You have no grasp on reality nephew if you think that that was the worst mistake you will ever make." Chuck was so single minded, that had always been his biggest problem, it was a common trait in the Bass family seeing as it plagued Bart's life as well.

"You wouldn't think of it as a mistake would you? You got what you wanted." Chuck said the anger racing through his veins. He wanted to beat the shit out of Jack right now.

Jack slammed a hand down on the table. "You just don't get it do you? This company is not the most important thing in the world. Not even close."

Chuck was surprised at Jack's outburst, that wasn't like Jack at all. It reminded Chuck of Jack's outburst about Blair the day before. "It is to me. So if you don't feel the same way, why don't you just give it back?"

_**You don't know what's right anymore  
You think your love is just a score  
Are you too young or afraid to grow up?**_

"Because it's all I have Chuck!" Jack said exasperated. "That's not the case for you." If he were Chuck of course he would want the company but he would also see that there were so many better things out there.

For some reason, this time, Jack's words resonated in his head. As they bounced around something finally clicked. "You mean Blair. You think Blair is more important than this company." Chuck said as a statement.

Jack raised his head, he looked weary, and he nodded. "Of course she's more valuable than the company. You can pour your heart in soul into that company your entire life, but it's never going to love you back." Then almost as an after thought, Jack spoke again. "Trust me, I would know."

_**You can work this out if you both try  
It's hard to cheat but harder to lie  
Is this what you want or just a passing thought?**_

Chuck didn't speak for a moment. "But the company also won't leave you when you screw up. The company won't die either."

Jack ran a hand over his head. "There's so much more to life kid. Blair loves you; she isn't going to leave you if you mess up. Think of everything she has stuck around through recently; think of everything that she has done to try to protect you. I tricked her into believing that we'd slept together, I blackmailed her into dating me behind your back."

At that Chuck interrupted. "I've already heard this story from her, so you can quit now."

_**Maybe you should think about it  
Before you go and break her heart  
Maybe you need more time to decide**_

Jack rolled his eyes. "No I think you need to hear it from me Chuck." With that he continued. All I had to blackmail her with was the threat that I would tell you. And as afraid as she was of losing you, what she was really worried about was you losing her. She didn't think that you could handle it, she though that you would do something crazy like jump off a building. After she slept with you, I ran into her in the lobby, I realized that you two had slept together and I went off the handle. That night, she was despondent as I tried to wine and dine her. She was in another place as we got started, then suddenly she was back and she started fighting me like hell. I wouldn't let her leave, she was crying and I wouldn't let her go. I offered her cocaine, telling her that it would go faster if she took it, so she did. She remembered New Year's Eve when she woke up the next morning and she flipped out. She beat me up pretty badly actually." He noted a smirk on Chuck's face as he said that but he continued talking. "I told her I loved her and she laughed in my face, telling me that I wasn't human, that I didn't' have a soul so I couldn't love her. She told me in no uncertain terms that whatever was going on between us was over. I was infuriated so I called you. I hid her clothes so she would have to come looking for them and you would see her."

_**Ask yourself, "what for?  
What for, what for, what for?"**_

Jack looked at Chuck guiltily, "Since then, I've been following her around, reading Gossip Girl to find out where she was going to be and when. I was waiting for her outside of Lily's yesterday. She kept trying to get away but I was insistent. I tried to give her a ride and her refusal told me she was coming here. I went and grabbed the company papers before coming following her here. When I got here she was still inside, I was worried that you had taken her back so I sent the Gossip Girl blast that I had prepared. When she came out of your suite I cornered her; I told her what I was about to do and said that if she would come upstairs with me I wouldn't. She refused, saying that there was no way she was going there again; she called me sick and then ran off. Remember that phone call I got while you were signing? That was Blair, trying her best to distract me from taking the company. She almost made it too; she was in the elevator when I left. She tried seducing me in the hallway; I didn't know that she was really searching me for the papers. She pulled my pants down and ran with the briefcase and you saw where that led. After you left the hallway I came out of the room. I was worried about her what with her condition."

Chuck abruptly interrupted. "What do you mean condition?" What was Jack going on about now?

Jack was taken aback. Chuck didn't know about Blair's bulimia. How was that possible? Sure Blair had never told him herself but he saw all the signs and had heard her in the bathroom more than once. "You don't know?" Jack asked thinking that maybe Chuck was just surprised that he knew.

_**You painted a picture she wanted to see  
You can laugh this one off but it's not funny  
She's given you everything she has  
Oh oh**_

Damn it, what did Jack know that he didn't, was Blair sick, was she dying. "Quit messing around Jack, Blair doesn't have a condition."

Jack shook his head. "Believe what you want Chuck. Either way, last night I went out to check on her and after a long conversation where she accused me of using her to get to you she asked me to give up the company to prove that I loved her. She couldn't have told you what I am about to tell you, because I've never told her. I've been in love with her since December. If you'll remember last time I saw you, you were just like the rest of the Bass men, use a woman for one night and throw them away. I thought Blair was one of those girls, the kind who get too attached afterwards; the one's who convince themselves that you are in love with them."

"Blair could never be that kind of girl." Chuck said quietly.

Jack nodded. "I know that now. I thought it was just me she had under her spell though. As we looked for you I fell for her hard. I started asking her out all the time and she always told me that she loved you. We got into a huge fight in Prague and she took off. When I saw her at the Palace Bar she was so damn lonely. She was starting to think that I was right, that you didn't really care about her. That night she got sick all over the place and I put her in one of my shirts, the next morning I let her believe that we had slept together. Then I found you and I was certain I was right all along about the two of you, you treated her exactly like one of those girls; then that night on the roof I realized what she meant to you. It was too late though, I was in love with her. And now, I care more about her happiness than my own. I'm the bad guy here not her so quit punishing her and let yourself be happy." Jack finished completely out of breath.

_**Maybe you should think about it  
Before you go and break her heart  
Maybe you need more time to decide**_

Chuck couldn't help but be taken aback. Jack's details matched Blair's, except Blair had clearly left some of the harsher stuff out. "If you love her so much, what are you doing here?" Chuck asked his nostrils flaring; he didn't trust Jack as far as he could throw him. Jack looked out for Jack and Jack alone, it was the way of all Bass men. 

Jack walked to the sink and filled up a glass of water. "I already told you. I care more about her happiness now than mine. You are what she wants and I promised her that I would give her what she wanted with the exception of the company."

Chuck's jaw locked. So Jack was here as an emissary from Blair. He should have realized this earlier. "So who isn't on Blair's side, she has Lily, Serena, you, and even Eric called me this morning to plead her case."

_**Ask yourself, "what for?  
What for, what for, what for?"**_

"You can add Bart to that list, remember his letter? And maybe you should just listen to everyone, for God's sake Chuck, you think maybe they see something that you don't?" Jack paused. "She reminds me so much of Evelyn sometimes and you so much of Bart, both so strong willed and stubborn."

Chuck was suddenly alert. "You knew my mother?" He asked, unsure of how he could have missed such an important detail in this whole mess.

Jack looked at Chuck as though he was crazy. "Of course I knew your mother. She practically raised me and I must say, she was a much better mother than my mom ever was. Do you not remember anything from when you were really little?"

"I don't believe you." Chuck said shaking his head. There was no way that his mom had raised Jack, no way.

_**You wanted her and you got her  
But you're still so careless with your words**_

"I moved in with Bart when our mother died. I was four and Bart was just starting the company. He began dating Evelyn in the next few years and she was wonderful to me. Their wedding was on my eighth birthday, I was the ring bearer upon her insistence." Jack said, explaining to Chuck just how well he knew Evelyn.

Something clicked with Chuck, he remembered a little Jack in the wedding photos. How had he not known he lived with his parents?

"I was eleven when she got pregnant with you, twelve when you were born. I was in the hospital room with her when she died. After that I basically took care of you for two years. Bart was busy with the company and the nanny's changed as quickly as your father grew tired of sleeping with them. When I turned fourteen your dad sent me to Atherton-Pryce Boarding School in D.C., saying that he was doing me a favor. I came home for Christmas but he always had me in internships during the summer. Then he sent me away to Harvard for college, followed by Business School there. Then off to Australia. So yes Chuck I knew your mother. Now quit being so damn stubborn Chuck. Blair is in the Palace tonight for some kind of Gala. I'm giving you 24 hours to go to her and make things right. I'll stay out of things until then. After that, I'm back in the game so I suggest doing something before then." Jack said downing the water.

_**If you let her go, she'll move on  
Find someone, she's never coming back  
How can you live with that?**_

Chuck looked away. Chuck remembered that line of Bart's letter all too well. He had smiled when he had heard it. It had instructed him to hold onto Blair but he wasn't really doing that. This wasn't fair, he just wasn't ready. "I can't trust her right now. Why is it that I have to be the one to rush?" Chuck said, finally speaking.

"Because Blair is an incredible girl and there are other people who want Blair." Jack said wryly.

"Yeah you." Chuck said with a glare. But as much as he hated to admit it, he understood a little more of where his twisted uncle was coming from after what Jack had said. He had never been a one woman man before, but that's the kind of thing that Blair Waldorf demanded. It made him think back to how hard he had fought to keep her once before, when Nate decided he wanted her back.

Jack simply shook his head, "When are you going to get it Chuck, this isn't about me. If it weren't me, it would be some other guy chasing after her. There is always going to be another guy because Blair is that extraordinary."

Jack stood ready to leave, "I'm warning you about Blair, if you let her go this time, I'll get her to give me a chance and if she gives me a real chance she is going to be gone for good because I'll show her just how great a lover I can be. Remember 24 hours."

_**Maybe you should think about it  
Before you go and break her heart**_

Chuck turned quickly to look at Jack, who was now in the doorway ready to leave. "What do I say?"

Jack smiled a sad smile. Chuck really was just a kid but it seemed as though he had succeed in his mission. Chuck would go back to Blair. "Tell her how you feel and you'll be surprised at the reaction that you get. Do you know how hard it has been for her to say that to you when you say nothing back or worse, you say something awful? It kills her and on top of that it fuels her condition."

Chuck raised a hand to interrupt and Jack shook his head. "Yes there's a condition, she'll have to tell you about that in her own time." Jack could see the worried look on Chuck's face that Blair had told him something that she hadn't told Chuck. To keep his promise to Blair, Jack had to go all out. "Chuck, Blair's never talked to me about what's wrong with her, I had to figure it out myself. I think she knows that I know though."

_**Maybe you need more time to decide  
So you should think about it some more**_

Jack looked back to Chuck who just nodded, so he kept talking. "24 hours, Chuck." Then he left, shutting the door behind him. He had to go somewhere or else he would be tempted to just go down stairs and try to see Blair and that would be going back on his word. So he headed out. He had to get out of Gossip Girl's territory to do this though because unfortunately he had made himself a target for the Teen Queen.

As Jack left Chuck collapsed against the bar. What was he going to do? He had some decisions to make and with what Jack said, he didn't have long to make them. But just as he started to contemplate he realized he had already made the decision. He had made the decision last year at his father's wedding, he had made the decision again at the White Party at the end of the summer, he had made the decision in Brooklyn last semester when he had told Blair that the words were true and one day they could have something, and he had made the decision when he forgave her yesterday. If he didn't have time, then he was just going to have to grow up and get over himself. He wanted Blair, he always had; what the hell had he been doing the past few months. He had been so afraid of losing her that he was throwing her away. He better get dressed if he was going to be attending some Upper East Side Gala.

* * *

As Jack got into his car, he sent Blair one text message.

**Its done. Do me a favor B, dont drink 2night.  
J**

He knew that she would know what he meant and that's all that mattered. His driver was surprised as he called out, "Take me to some kind of Quickie Mart in Brooklyn." That was definitely not normal behavior for Jack but he didn't give the driver much of a choice by the tone in his voice. As they were driving, he was surprised by the buzz of his phone. He definitely didn't expect Blair to text back.

**thnx mom **

Jack couldn't help but laugh. Blair really was hilarious when she wanted to be. He had to restrain himself from texting back:

**actuly I prefr dad.**

But he didn't because not only did that violate whatever agreement he had come to with Chuck, it would upset Blair and he never wanted that. So instead he put away his phone and laid his head back. Blair wanted Chuck and he was going to do whatever it took to prove to her that he loved her; even though that meant giving her back to his nephew who really wasn't as good for her as he was. He would be there to pick up the pieces when they fell apart and if Chuck was an idiot and didn't go to Blair within the 24 hours, well then all bets really were off.

**

* * *

A/N: And the plot thickens *grins mischievously* I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Reviews are always appreciated, even if it's to tell me that you don't like what I wrote.  
xoxo  
Kate**

**The song is What For by Rooney. **


	19. Possibly, Possibly Not

**A/N: So I just finished What He Can't Have and I would say that meant faster updates for this fic but alas it doesn't because a plot bunny that's been bouncing around in my head for a while has managed to hop right on to the computer screen. So just as I finish one fic, it appears that I'll be starting another. Hope you all enjoy this chapter though. **

**xoxo  
kate**

**ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm looking for a beta for each of my fics. If anyone's interested in the job, let me know :)  
**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN GOSSIP GIRL **

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

* * *

Blair took a deep breath before walking into the society event. It literally felt like she had slipped into a timewarp that threw her back into the 1800s, as though she had been away at school for the winter months and it was finally the season once more. That was how removed from society she had been recently. Not a single party, art auction, gala, or charity event since the Snowflake Ball last December and now it was March 20, the first day of spring. She had dressed for the occasion in a pale pink gown and as she looked around the room from the top of the stair case she noted that everyone there was dressed in various pastel shades. She smiled, she was home; this is where she fit in life. She was not the communal whore for the new money Basses. She was Blair Waldorf, a blue blood member of the crème de la crème of New York Society. There wasn't a club she couldn't gain entrance to, a gala to which she couldn't secure an invitation; this was her birth right and she wasn't going to let thoughts of Chuck, Jack, or the potential offspring she was carrying get in the way of resuming her rightful place.

She smiled over the crowd, several of whom had trained their eyes on her, and descended the grand staircase into the gala. As she saw her minions rush over, everything was indeed as it should be, her life was still intact and she was going to let any man change that; especially not a Bass.

* * *

Chuck smiled at himself in the long mirror. It had been difficult to secure a tux at the last minute; but he looked dashing if he did say so himself. Looking dashing tonight wasn't an option, it was a must. Regardless of what Jack said, he fully believed it was going to take some work winning Blair back and he fully intended to do just that. The company could wait, in fact it would wait; Blair on the other hand wouldn't. As much as he hated to admit it, Jack did care about Blair, it was obvious, and Chuck knew first hand how manipulative that man could be when he wanted something. Not to mention that there was a slight pang in his heart that told him that Blair might not actually need manipulating this time. Chuck had been treating her like she meant nothing to him lately and he owed her more than that. Hell, he owed her his life because if she hadn't shown up on the rooftop of Victrola that night and if she hadn't been there for him over and over again he wouldn't have made it through this. So tonight he was going to show up and be the Prince Charming that Blair had always dreamed of; he was going to sweep her off her feet. After that they would work together to get back the company because together they were damn near unbeatable.

With one last glance in the mirror Chuck laid down his phone, the last thing he wanted was Gossip Girl managing to get inside his head again with another damaging blast. Then he turned and walked out the door. He had a girl to get back and he wasn't coming back until he had her.

* * *

Jack walked right up to the counter of the grungy Quickie Mart. He hadn't been in one of these things since he was ten years old and it showed. The man behind the register raised his eyebrows and checked out Jack's designer suit. "Are you lost?" The man asked gruffly.

_God I wish, _thoughtJack as he took in the appearance of the man in front of him and the store in general. The man was wearing a dirty wifebeater that left his potbelly hanging over the edge of his jeans. Not to mention he was balding and looked like he hadn't shaved in a week. "No, actually I just need you to tell me something, what's the fastest pregnancy test you have? I mean which gives you the earliest results?" Jack felt a little awkward asking a man this but he figured that as the owner of the Quickie Mart, the guy might know.

The man chuckled. "Easy, the quickest is the First Response Early Result test. It's got an insanely high statistic for detection at around seven days. It's the one all my girlfriends have used."

Jack had to work to hold back a disgusted sneer. "Okay, well just give me that one."

The man walked over and got the test out of the cabinet. "We have to keep them locked up. We've had a lot of problems recently with teens trying to steel them, especially the pricey digital ones. Anyway, it's $12.99."

Jack was utterly disgusted; this was the seediest part of town that he had been inside of in a long while. He tossed a twenty on the counter, grabbed the test and headed out yelling. "Keep the change."

The man shrugged, he wasn't one to turn down extra cash. He turned to the next customer, a young girl who was just sliding her cell phone in her pocket with a grin. "How can I help you miss?"

"I just need this pack of gum and coffee." She said placing her items on the counter. She couldn't help thinking that soon all of Manhattan was going to know that Jack Bass had just bought a home pregnancy test.

* * *

Blair sat at one of the tables gossiping with her friends. So far the night had been fabulous and she had stuck to a strict regiment of water, claiming that she had a test tomorrow. She wasn't actually lying but the test wasn't until 7th period, which was plenty late enough to drink tonight. But no one pushed the subject. She felt like she had slipped so easily back into her old life that she wondered for a moment why she had been so worried. She hadn't told Chuck, she hadn't told Jack, she hadn't even told Serena but she had been afraid that once she finished dealing with everything else, she wouldn't have a life to go back to. But as of right now, everything was perfect, or at least it would be if she had Chuck.

As though Blair summoned up the blast just by thinking optimistically, cell phones started beeping.

**Look what I've got here kids. JB spotted in Brooklyn buying a pregnancy test! He looks a little out of place if you ask me, aww JB did you think you could avoid me by going over the bridge? Sorry mister, I'm everywhere. Looks like he owes some unlucky girl an apology, after all her dirty laundry just got aired on Gossip Girl. However, if I had to guess, I would say that this particular girl is used to everyone knowing her business, after all wasn't it just yesterday morning we saw a certain Queen B getting hot and heavy with JB on the streets of NYC. Naughty, naughty B, I thought you'd be safer after what happened last time. **

**you know you love me,**

**xoxo  
gossip girl**

Blair looked up from her cell phone to see that most of the people in the ballroom, under the age of twenty four were staring at her; she could already hear the whispers.

"_OMG she totally is, I can totally see a bump."_

"_You'd think she would have been more cautious, after what happened last year. Isn't the saying once burned, twice shy?"_

"_Look, she is drinking water tonight. Well at least she isn't endangering the baby."_

"_What's Chuck going to say when he finds out his girlfriend is pregnant with his Uncle's baby?"_

"_Oh my, the virgin queen in her second pregnancy scandal, no way her reputation can survive this one too."_

"_I wonder if she even knows for sure that Jack's the father; for all we know, it could be Chuck's."_

The whispers seemed to grow louder and louder until they were roaring in her ears. She couldn't focus on anything, couldn't concentrate. She needed to get out of there, fast. She addressed her table. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go to the ladies room?"

Everyone simply nodded eyes wide as she walked away.

No, no, no, this wasn't happening. She had to call Chuck and explain, not to mention she felt the sudden urge to be in the bathroom. Chuck first she decided as she hit the number 1 on speed dial. Answer damn it, Blair thought as the phone rang, but of course Chuck didn't answer. He surely had already seen the blast and was probably absolutely furious. Blair was getting slightly desperate to get to the bathroom and she knew well enough to know that she was going to need help. Plus, if she was pregnant this wouldn't be good for the baby. She didn't know whether or not Chuck knew about her problem since she had never told him. It had never been necessary with him because when she was with him she was perfectly happy and her little condition never flared up; but she wanted him here, no she needed him here. So she tried his phone again, only to once more get his voicemail. Serena was in Italy with freaking Poppy Lifton; she had left first thing this morning, so that ruled her out too and she was so not calling her mom. This was bad, she needed someone and she needed someone now. The name Jack popped into her head at that moment before she could stop it. No she couldn't call him; she couldn't let herself rely on him; Bart had warned her himself that Jack was dangerous. But she was already reaching for food on every tray that she passed. Jack might be her only option and she was fairly certain that he knew anyway what with her rushing to the bathroom as soon as she woke up the morning after they had slept together. So as she stuffed yet another escargot in her mouth and hit speed dial 4. When exactly Jack had made it into her speed dial, she didn't know, but for once she was glad he was there.

* * *

As soon as Jack received the Gossip Girl Blast he told his driver to get back to the Palace asap, no matter how many traffic laws he needed to break. How could he have been so irresponsible? He should have driven out of the state or at least the city. Now everyone knew about the possible pregnancy. Blair had to be freaking out. Screw whatever he had said to Chuck, Blair needed him.

He wasn't sure how his driver was managing it but they were quickly nearing the Palace, swerving through traffic as though their life depended on it. Of course Jack's driver knew to always go above and beyond the call of duty if he didn't want to get axed. Jack was startled when his phone rang. Who had the audacity to call him right now? When BLAIR flashed on the caller id, his heart gave an involuntary clench. If she was calling him, she was desperate. He answered immediately. "Blair, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Concern colored his voice without pause.

Blair exhaled at the sound of his voice. It was immediately soothing. "It's okay, I'm not mad at you. But no, _I'm_ not okay." She said grabbing another hors d'oeuvre. "Can you come downstairs?" She asked, the desperation seeping into her voice.

Jack groaned and shouted to the driver. "Drive faster damn it!" Before putting his mouth back to the receiver. "I'm still not back but as soon as I get to the Palace I'll be there."

Blair sighed. "I'm going to the ladies bathroom right off the ballroom. I'm going to lock the door. Knock and I'll let you in okay?"

"I'll be there as soon as possible. I swear." Jack promised as he kicked the back of his driver's seat. "Do you want me to stay on the phone until then?" Jack asked, willing to do whatever it took to take care of her.

Blair thought for a moment. No one had ever tried that before, which might be because she had never called someone before the fact until tonight. But she had more than herself to worry about now . . . possibly. "Okay." She said quietly as she reached the bathroom. Luckily it was empty, so she didn't have to wait on anyone to leave; she just simply turned and locked the door.

Jack sat back against his seat trying to think of something, anything to take her mind off of this. "So where's that blonde best friend of yours? Why didn't you call her?" He figured that would be enough conversation fodder to get her started.

Blair rolled her eyes, he was trying to distract her and it was obvious but she was definitely going to let him. So she concentrated on his question. "The so called best friend jetted off to Milan with her other best friend, Poppy Lifton."

"The socialite?" Jack asked, actually curious. What was Serena doing with Poppy Lifton? "Why?"

Blair actually laughed. "Yes, Poppy Lifton the socialite. She and Serena met last fall and did a lot of hanging out together."

Jack decided to take this and run with it. He had apparently picked the right topic. "Okay, but what in the world does Serena Van der Woodsen have in common with Poppy Lifton?" He was about two blocks away now and the way his driver was driving he should be there in minutes, he just needed to keep Blair distracted until then.

"Oh, you've never met the old Serena have you?" Blair asked from her spot on the floor of the bathroom.

The car was about half a block away so Jack called out for the driver to stop and popped open his door. The car hadn't even completely stopped before he got out, but he did it anyway and started running in. "The old Serena? No I haven't had the pleasure." Jack said as he ran into the Palace and headed strait for the ballroom. Now where the hell was the women's bathroom?

"Ah, pleasure is not the word I would use, however you might. The old Serena was certainly a force to be reckoned with. The party all night, drink 'til dawn, make a sex tape, and do a few hard drugs in between, kind of girl. She came back from boarding school a changed woman; but the old Serena made a little bit of an appearance this past fall, if only in a diluted form." Blair said by way of explanation.

As Blair was talking Jack rushed into the ballroom and was greeted by over a hundred shocked looks and whispers. So this is what it was like to be involved in a Gossip Girl scandal? He didn't really care, he was only worried about Blair. He grabbed a waiter. "Where's the nearest bathroom?" He hissed, covering the receiver. As the waiter pointed, he took off running as he turned back to the phone. "I don't believe you Blair. The Serena I know wouldn't make a sex tape."

Blair laughed once more. "Well in all fairness, she didn't actually know about the camera that Georgina had . . ." Blair broke off as she heard a knock on the door.

"Go ahead and open it, it's me." Jack said softly and the door immediately opened in front of him. He walked into the room, shutting and locking the door behind him; before looking down at Blair sitting on the floor. "Hey pretty girl." He said softly as he bent over and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

Blair was so relieved that she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly to her. "Thank you for coming. Thank you so much."

Jack was taken aback. That wasn't what he expected; tears, yes, hugs not so much. "Of course I came Blair; I'll always come when you need me. But to be fair, when I talked to Chuck today I did tell him that I would stay away from you for twenty four hours. Have you seen him yet tonight?" Jack asked sitting down on the ground next to her, one arm still wrapped around her.

Blair looked over at Jack, with a sad but almost sarcastic look in her eyes. "No and I'm not going to, not after the blast."

Jack nodded slightly. He was not going to remind her of his part in that. "Look, I found a test that can tell, like seven days after and it's been like ten or twelve right?"

Blair nodded as well. "Yeah, eleven since Chuck, ten since you." She paused for a moment. "Give it to me." She said holding out her hand.

Jack reached into his pocket for it then, thought about what this would be like if he was Chuck. He would want to be there for the test, he would want to know. So he removed his hand from his pocket and stood up, holding his hand out for Blair, who looked at him curiously but took his hand none the less. "Chuck would want to be here for that, no matter how angry he might be." Said Jack as Blair stood in front of him.

Blair gave him a sad looking smile before nodding her head. "Thank you." She said softly as she leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "Let's go find Chuck."

"Okay." Jack said quietly, still feeling the tingle of her lips on his.

* * *

"For the last time, I own this hotel, let me inside this event." Chuck said through gritted teeth. This was ridiculous; he had been trying to get past security for almost half an hour. He was trying not to cause a scene and embarrass Blair but he was running out of options.

The security guard scoffed. "Do you really expect me to believe that a kid owns this hotel?"

This was the last time that Chuck allowed an event to hire private security, from now on it was his people or no deal. "I'm Chuck Bass and if you don't let me in right now, I am going to call the hotel manager." He was doing his best not to lose his temper.

"Okay kid, I'm going to have to escort you out of here." The security guard said as he radioed for backup.

Chuck finally gave up and reached for his cell phone to call Eduardo, his hotel manager, only to remember that he hadn't brought his phone. "I don't have my phone on me. Why don't you call the hotel manger instead?"

The security guard rolled his eyes but did as the kid suggested. "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you but we have a guy down here impersonating the owner of the hotel and he suggested calling you. Do you mind coming down and checking out the situation?"

Chuck was shooting daggers at the guy as they waited for Eduardo. "You should probably know that I fully intend on getting you fired as soon as this is over."

The guard laughed. This kid was delusional. That's when the hotel manger came bustling over eyes wide. "Mr. Bass, is there a problem?"

Chuck glanced at the security guard as if to say, told-you-so. "The only problem here is that I'm not being allowed into an event held in my own hotel, Eduardo."

The security guards eyes were bugging out of his head. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Bass, please go right in."

"Thank you." Chuck said before stepping inside. He would deal with the security guard after he had won Blair back. He was up on the balcony at this entrance and he looked around trying to spot her in the sea of ladies. Lucky for him most society girls were blonde so Blair was usually easy to spot, but today that wasn't the case. Where was she? That's when he saw her walking through the ballroom, fingers lightly intertwined with those of Jack Bass, as though she was leading him somewhere. Fury rushed through his veins, he should have known Jack was bullshitting him this afternoon. Jack probably just wanted him to show up here and make a scene in front of Blair. Well if it was a scene he wanted, it was a scene he was going to get.

Chuck rushed down the staircase and ran strait for Jack and Blair; people quickly moving out of his way. He reached Jack first and grabbed his arm, yanking him away. As soon as Jack had slightly turned, Chuck threw him a punch across his jaw.

Blair ran over. "Oh my God Chuck, what are you doing?"

Chuck glared at her. "What am I doing?" Chuck asked his voice escalating in volume. "What is this son of a bitch doing here?"

By this time Jack was standing back up but he though it best to let them have it out as long as Chuck didn't raise a hand to Blair.

"I called him Chuck. I needed someone and you weren't answering your phone." Blair said, trying her best to stay calm.

"You called this asshole, after everything he's done?" Chuck said angrily.

Blair took a step towards Chuck and lowered her voice a little. "We are in public. If you are angry at me for the Gossip Girl blast we can talk about this in private."

Chuck shook his head and spat at her. "I can't believe that I was coming down here to beg for your forgiveness, I was over the Gossip Girl blast, I just wanted you. But no, you're with this weasel."

"You're over the Gossip Girl blast?" Blair asked slowly. Blair and Jack both shot Chuck looks of disbelief as did the rest of the room.

Chuck looked around. "What am I missing?" Clearly something had happened that he wasn't aware of; something that was apparently going to make him angry enough to punch Jack without surprising anyone in a room of a couple hundred people.

Blair took another step closer. "Haven't you checked your phone at all Chuck?" He didn't know, he really didn't know.

"Not in the past half hour or so. I left it in the room." Chuck said, curiosity overriding his anger.

"Oh God. Chuck I think we should go upstairs and talk about this." Blair said eyes pleading.

Chuck shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is going on."

Blair nodded, thinking he would say that, before taking another couple of steps towards Chuck so that she could say what she was going to say quietly. "Gossip Girl saw Jack buying a pregnancy test . . . for me."

Chuck's eyes narrowed and he let out a low hiss. "That bastard got you pregnant?"

Blair squeezed her eyes tightly and placed a hand on her belly. "Possibly, possibly not."

"So you haven't taken the test yet?" Chuck asked disdain apparent in his eyes as he spat the sarcastic remark at his ex-girlfriend or whatever the hell she was.

Blair shook her head. "No. But that's not really what I meant." She paused looking into his eyes before continuing. "If I'm pregnant, there's a 50-50 chance this baby is yours. I forgot to pick up Plan B the morning after we . . ." Blair said trailing off.

Chuck let his eyes wander from hers down to her hand on her stomach, but didn't say a word.

"That's why Jack and I were coming to find you. He suggested that you would want to be there for the test." Blair said quietly, even though everyone already knew.

Chuck glanced at Jack with a look of pure hatred in his eyes before looking back to Blair. "Let's go." He said reaching his hand out for hers.

Blair nodded and took his hand before motioning to Jack to follow them.

**Fights and babies and scandals oh my. C, B, and JB spotted leaving the Junior League Gala after C and JB had a little bit of a throw down. Sources say they were headed off to take a little pregnancy test. This time my fingers are crossed for you B, here's hoping for blue.**

**xoxo  
gossip girl**

**

* * *

A/N: There's the next chapter guys I hope you enjoyed it of course. Reviews are always appreciated. **


	20. Bass Babies Kill People!

**A/N: I know it's been longer than I anticipated but life got in the way lol. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

* * *

Blair did her best to breath evenly as she opened the pregnancy test. She withdrew one of the tests and left the second in the box; which she placed in her purse for the recheck the following week. Blair didn't bother reading the instructions on the box; unfortunately she already knew how to take a pregnancy test. Once it was done, Blair looked at her reflection in the mirror, almost wishing that she could just disappear. The pregnancy test sat on the counter and the seconds on the clock were ticking away as she waited for it to change color. This time wasn't like the last. She didn't stand there saying that she couldn't possibly be pregnant and she didn't stand there commanding herself not to be pregnant. She wasn't that naive little school girl anymore even though she probably should be. Not just should be, would be, if it hadn't been for everything that she had gone through this year, she would still be that girl who as grown up as she believed herself to be, in reality wasn't. In the past few months alone she had dealt with death, blackmail, and more responsibility than she ever thought that she could handle. No, the movie playing in her head had been destroyed a long time ago. So she wasn't Audrey Hepburn and she wasn't Grace Kelly; but she was Blair Waldorf and as such she didn't crack under pressure, she didn't fall apart, she took what life gave her and used it to make her stronger, and she certainly didn't let anyone else determine who she was. So no matter the result of this pregnancy test, she was going to deal, she was going to be okay and if anyone had anything to say about the way in which she did that then she was simply going to have to remind them of who she was.

So she breathed in and out deeply as she touched up her make up. It had smudged a little when she was crying in the bathroom. The waiting was always the worst part of these things. It was the part that she really dreaded. If she could just take the test and immediately know one way or the other, it would be so much easier, but instead she had to stand here in front of this mirror, with nothing but the possible ramifications that the colors pink and blue could have for her at this moment. She looked down at the watch on her wrist, not daring to look over at the pregnancy test unless she was sure that it would be ready. When her watched confirmed that it was time she looked at herself once more in the mirror and inhaled deeply before saying to herself. "Don't forget, you're a Waldorf, you can handle anything." Then she picked up the test and checked the color.

* * *

The two gentlemen, using the term loosely of course, waited outside the bathroom of Chuck's sweet in complete and total silence. Neither one had said a word to each other since Chuck had punched Jack in the middle of the ballroom. Jack couldn't help but feel that the silence was deafening. It was as though the animosity between them was growing with each passing second that they stood there, deliberately ignoring one another other than occasional death glares that Chuck was directing at him.

Chuck shot Jack yet another glare as the older man was standing there studying him. Why couldn't Jack just fall out a window or get hit by a bus? Anything would work as long as it made him disappear. Things would have been fixed with Blair already if Jack hadn't been there tonight, not to mention if Jack didn't exist at all he and Blair wouldn't be having problems in the first place. At that thought Chuck unwillingly snorted. That was a load of bullshit, he and Blair always had problems. Jack was right, this time it happened to be him but last time it wasn't and next time it wouldn't be. What they needed to learn was how to deal with these problems.

Jack got fed up with the silence so when Chuck snorted he flipped around. "Why is it that you are so much madder at me right now than you were two hours ago?" He asked exasperated with his nephew.

Chuck was surprised that Jack had said anything, how could he even ask that question though? After what he had potentially done to Blair. "You didn't protect her, you let this happen." He said practically growling.

Even as he listened to Chuck talk, he knew that that wasn't the real reason that Chuck was angry with him right now, because if it was he was a damn hypocrite. "Like you can talk on that point."

Chuck looked away. He knew Jack was right, he had done the exact same thing to her that Jack had; but right now, right now he was scared, Blair couldn't be pregnant. Instead of responding to Jack's question he asked in a voice more vulnerable than he would have liked. "Why did she call you tonight?"

Jack exhaled slightly. His nephew was still a scared little boy. He couldn't help the nagging feeling inside of him that it was his fault that Chuck was like that. He pushed the unwelcome thought away and answered the question honestly. After all he had promised Blair. "She called me because you wouldn't answer your phone and she needed someone."

"Because of her condition?" Chuck asked immediately. It still didn't sit well with him that Jack knew something about Blair that he didn't but he had to accept the fact that there was something between the two of them. It was something that he had always sensed, always dreaded and the fact that she had called Jack tonight when she couldn't get a hold of him, confirmed that it was true. He could handle Jack being obsessed with Blair, or Blair being involved in Jack's blackmail scheme but it hurt to know that Blair felt something for him as well. It was Chuck's own fault and he knew it. If he hadn't pushed Blair away so much she wouldn't have fallen into the clutches of his sadistic uncle. It was difficult to resist constant unconditional affection, he would know. After all, that's what had eventually made him give in to Blair these past few months.

Jack simply nodded in response. He still couldn't tell Chuck what that condition was. It was Blair's secret to tell.

Chuck was about to speak again, to ask a question that he knew Jack wouldn't answer, and instead said something that took him completely off guard. "I'm scared."

The honesty of Chuck's statement worried him. Something was genuinely terrifying his nephew or else he wouldn't have said something to Jack of all people. So the paternal instinct that he had once held for the boy kicked in and he made certain there was no biting sarcasm in his voice when he spoke next. "Why, either way she'll be fine."

Chuck shook his head. "What if . . . what if she's pregnant?" Chuck asked, trying to keep his voice steady. He was already telling He couldn't believe he was confessing his fears to Jack of all people but he continued because there was no one else that he could tell that would come close to understanding. "Bass babies, kill people."

Sudden understanding flooded Jack's consciousness. Chuck wasn't angry because he might not be the father of Blair's baby, he wasn't angry that Jack might be, he was angry that he might lose Blair, period. That was anger born from the fear that had been looming with the kid since the day that he was born. "She's not Evelyn, Chuck."

Chuck glared at Jack slightly. "Of course she isn't my mother, but that doesn't stop the fact that what happened to my mother could happen to Blair. You said it yourself, they are so much alike." Not that Chuck knew this from experience, he only knew what other people had told him about his mother. "Plus it runs in the family right? Your mom never did get well again after she had you. I've heard those stories at least. They say she was too ill to try having another child but she did anyway, so both died."

Jack sighed. He hadn't wanted to tell Chuck this because it was information that if Chuck knew would only cause him to blame him for his mother's death more than he already did. It was something no one knew and it was the reason that Bart Bass hated Jack almost as much as he had blamed Chuck for Evelyn's death. It was the reason why both of their faces were too hard for Bart to look at on a day to day basis. "Chuck, I'm probably the only living person who knows what I'm about to tell you. Blair wouldn't die like your mother because she doesn't have the illness that your mother had." Chuck's eyes widened. No one had ever told him that his mother was sick. Jack continued on without giving Chuck time to comment; he already knew what Chuck would have asked. "No one told you because no one knew. Evelyn started having some problems fairly early in the pregnancy; cramps and such. Bart was called off on urgent Bass business and left me with her, telling me that I was to look out for her, that he trusted me to be the man of the house while he was gone. The complications with the pregnancy worsened so Evelyn had her OB-GYN do some tests and they found something. The doctors basically said then that if she had the baby, she wouldn't survive. Bart rushed home immediately to be with his ailing wife; but the board wasn't having any of it and threatened to replace him as CEO if he didn't get back to Europe. He left Evelyn with instructions to have an abortion. I was the only one who knew that she didn't and I didn't tell Bart. Evelyn had begged me not to saying that having the baby, having you," Jack said looking at Chuck pointedly. "was what she wanted. That's why Bart wasn't here when you were born Chuck. He thought that you didn't exist anymore and that's why I was the one with her at the hospital when she died. If he had been here then he would have insisted on the abortion and that's why he never forgave himself. And he never forgave me for letting her have you in the first place. That's why I felt such a responsibility towards taking care of you all these years and it's also why Bart made sure that I was constantly on a different continent than him. As for my own _mother_ " Chuck noticed the contempt with which Jack said the word. "She wasn't ill from labor, she was ill from using. You forget we didn't live like this back then."

As Jack finished, Chuck could hardly believe what he had said, but at the same time had a strong feeling that it was true. His mother had known, going into it that she was dying because of him. She made the choice consciously. He was about to say something but he was interrupted by the opening of the bathroom door.

Blair stepped out of the bathroom, one hand on her stomach as she looked at the boy and the man in front of her. "Good you're both still here."

"Where else would I be." Chuck said softly, taking a step towards her . Wanting to pull her into her arms and tell her that he hadn't changed his mind, he still wanted her. And he would have if she hadn't held up an arm to stop him.

Jack on the other hand, didn't move. Instead he spoke from where he was sitting on Chuck's bed. "I promised you I would be."

Chuck turned his gaze to Jack and glared, while Blair looked at him briefly and gave him a small smile. Jack hated how just one smile from her gave him the kind of physiological reactions that he didn't experience having sex with another girl.

After sparing Jack a glance, Blair turned back to face them both. The silence in the room was pregnant with everything being held back and Blair knew that she had to be the one to break the ice and tell them. She inhaled deeply and took her other hand off of her stomach. "I'm not pregnant." As soon as the words were out of her mouth she exhaled as did both Chuck and Jack.

Chuck hadn't even realized that he had been holding his breath but as soon as she spoke, it rushed out of him as though he had had it trapped inside for quite a while. He didn't know what he would have done if she had been pregnant; his mother's complications or not, he would never risk Blair for a baby. He did not fail to notice that Jack did the same thing. For all of his uncle's big talk, it was nice to see him just as worried as he was.

Jack exhaled, slowly allowing the air that he had been keeping trapped inside, out. He knew what a pregnancy would mean for Blair and he couldn't be happier for her that she didn't have to deal with that. Sure if it had been his it would have tied her to him permanently; but that wasn't the way he wanted to achieve his goals with Blair. He wanted her to want him in her life without the added pressure of a baby. "I'm going to head out." He said, being the first one to speak since Blair announced the good news. Chuck didn't react at all, but Blair nodded slightly telling him thank you with her eyes. He didn't get any closer to her, he simply exited and returned to his suite. He had to give her what she wanted and that was Chuck.

Back in the suite Chuck reached for Blair's hand, wanting to let her know that everything was perfect now. But once more she stopped him as he tried to pull her to him. "What's wrong?" He asked softly brushing her cheek with his hand.

"I really just want to be alone right now." Blair said looking away from Chuck's penetrating gaze. She was in a weird mood right now and was a little angry at Chuck fro his stunt downstairs. She knew that now wasn't a good time to start hashing things out; they would only end up fighting.

Chuck couldn't keep the pure astonishment from his eyes. "Blair, everything's okay now. You're not pregnant, everything with Jack is forgiven, we can finally be together." He said tracing circles on her hand that was still in his.

Blair looked at him, her expression pained. "I need some time okay. Your reaction to all of this today has been less than supportive and a lot less than idea."

"Come on, Blair, don't be like that. I'm sorry for jumping to all kinds of conclusions at the Gala tonight; really I am. I just saw you with him and freaked out." Chuck said, hastily trying to explain himself.

"I know your reasoning for acting out Chuck and I understand it. I really just need to have some time to myself. I have a lot of stuff that I need to think about." Blair said as she reached for her purse. She didn't know what was wrong with her but right then she just wanted out of that room.

"Blair." Chuck said as she reached out and grabbed her arm. "Please stay." At his last words she looked up and her gaze met his own. What he saw there was something he hadn't expected. Blair seemed sad and it was an emotion that he wasn't sure he knew how to deal with from her. "What's wrong?" He asked after a moment of unbroken gazes.

Blair inhaled deeply before extracting her arm from Chuck's hold. She quickly arranged the mask she constantly wore on her face, the one that let no emotions be known. "Nothing. Nothing is wrong Chuck."

Chuck knew her better than that and wasn't about to let this go so he stepped around her, blocking her exit. "Blair, don't try to pretend like I don't see right through your façade. Why are you upset?" This time as he looked into her eyes he saw the same sadness but it was a match equally by a look of confusion; Blair was confused about why she was sad and suddenly Chuck knew. He pulled back aghast. "Please tell me that you're not sad about the fact that you're not pregnant."

Blair pulled herself away from his intense and now slightly disgusted gaze. "I don't know." She finally said. "I might be."

Chuck knew that she could see the look on his face was one of abhorrence; but for that moment he didn't care. "You actually wanted to be pregnant?"

Blair moved towards the door. "No. Well . . . Yes. Ugh, I don't know Chuck! I don't know what I want or what I wanted. Either way I'm not, so it solves your problem doesn't it." She said throwing her hands in the air. "Congratulations Chuck your girlfriend or whatever the hell I am, isn't pregnant."

He didn't know what to say, he couldn't understand why this was upsetting Blair. "You can't expect me to be disappointed by that Blair. From the beginning I put your safety first and I wasn't about to stop that today."

Tears, were threatening to burst from her eyes and Blair wasn't about to stop them, she didn't know why she was having this reaction, she just knew that she needed to get out of there immediately. "We'll talk later Chuck." Blair said as she fled the suite, faster than a bat out of hell.

Chuck looked at her retreating form. This time he didn't stop her, he didn't say a word. Her reaction just then had thrown him for a loop, how could Blair be upset that she wasn't pregnant?

* * *

Blair wasn't sure what she was doing standing outside Jack's room, but she knew that she needed someone to talk to that would understand what she was feeling and Chuck clearly wasn't an option. She knocked and waited patiently on a response.

Upon hearing a knock Jack hurried to the door, thinking that his room service was here. When instead he found Blair standing there, he couldn't help the expression of astonishment that appeared on his face. "Blair, what are you doing here?" He moved aside, noticing her tear streaked face, "Come in." He added tenderly.

Blair lifted the long skirt of her gown and stepped into Jack's apartment for the first time of her own free will. She walked strait to the bar and under the cabinet where he kept his special wine and poured herself a glass.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Jack asked walking to the other side of the bar. She didn't look like she was in the greatest shape right now and he knew how that wine effected her.

Blair shrugged. "I'm not pregnant, why should it matter?"

Suddenly, Jack knew why Blair was upset. There was a part of her who had already fallen in love with that baby, the one that didn't exist. Probably not a big enough part that she wished that she was actually pregnant, but a big enough part that she was upset. As soon as he realized this, Jack walked to the other side of the bar. "Come here." He said, pulling her to him.

Almost as soon as Jack pulled her into his embrace she broke down crying. Blair clutched onto Jack's shirt with her tiny fists as the tears poured down her face. Jack simply stood there rubbing her back, knowing that there was nothing he could say.

After a moment Blair spoke. "It's not like I actually wanted to be a teen mother you know? And I didn't want to put you guys through the whole paternity thing." She was trying her best to stifle her sobs and articulate what she was feeling; somehow knowing that Jack would understand.

Jack muttered softly, "I know." Then he allowed her to continue.

"But I had gotten used to it being there. I had gotten use to feeling responsible for someone other than myself." She looked up at Jack. "That's why I called you tonight. I didn't want to hurt the baby by being weak and sick. And then Chuck's response was less than ideal."

Jack reached down and brushed a fallen strand of hair from her face, before kissing her forehead. "It's going to be okay." He could ring his nephew's neck for letting Blair leave upset. "As for Chuck, he was just scared. He can't understand why any woman would want to get pregnant when she could die like his mom did."

His words somehow soothed her and she realized that he was right about Chuck. "I feel so stupid though. How did I become attached to something that didn't even exist, in only a matter of hours?"

Jack bent his head down to look in her eyes, having to lift her chin to do so. "It's a biological thing Blair. It's nature's way of making every woman maternal."

She nodded slightly and held onto Jack tightly. "How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?" She asked.

"I'm not sure." Jack said, wondering the same thing himself. Blair was the only girl he had ever cared enough about to make this kind of effort with; the only one he had ever felt the need to comfort, other than Evelyn that is. "There will be other opportunities to have children Blair, other opportunities that come at better times."

She nodded again before moving away. "Thank you Jack. This is the second time today that you've come to my rescue."

"Anytime." He said with a small smile.

Blair looked at him, with a lingering gaze before kissing him again. This time as she kissed him it wasn't soft like the kiss in the bathroom, it was much deeper and much more passionate.

Jack wasn't sure how to react, so he simply kissed her back, giving her the choice on where to take it from there.

All of the sudden she pulled back and backed away, her fingers moving up to touch her lips. "I shouldn't have done that." She said shaking her head slightly before turning to leave. She called back over her shoulder. "Thank you again Jack."

Jack simply watched her go. It was one of those times when he remembered just how young Blair really was. Almost twelve years his junior yet he rarely if ever noticed it. This was however one of those moments. Her explanation for kissing him was one that any high school girl would give. He didn't fault her for it, nor did he stop her from leaving. He looked down at his pants, noticing the slight tent. He didn't know how she managed to affect him so profoundly with a simple kiss. He was going to give Chuck the twenty four hours he had promised, he would stay away from Blair all day tomorrow but he didn't think that it would help. After all, he had given Chuck his chance, and he had screwed up again. First thing in Wednesday morning he was paying Blair a visit and he was laying his cards on the table.

**Scandals abound tonight on the UES. After that horrific scene in the middle of the Junior League's Annual Spring Gala, there was all kinds of room rotation going on. First J, B, and C all hit 1812, then J left returning to his suite, followed closely by B, who was only there for a short time. My, my, my, whatever is going on between the remaining Bass men must be quite interesting business. Better make up your mind soon B, who knows how long this family will fight for you?**

**xoxo  
gossip girl**

**

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed it guys. Sorry it took so long. I promise there will be more CB in the next chapter.**

**Reviews are always appreciated,**

**xoxo  
kate **


	21. Burning Like A Candle

**A/N: I know it's been longer than I anticipated but 4th of July got in the way this time. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: T mostly for language. **

* * *

Chuck paced back in forth in his suite; he was going to wear a hole in this carpet if he kept this up much longer. He hadn't slept; he couldn't no matter how hard he tried. All he could think about was Blair and how badly he had handled everything; but couldn't she see that he was still learning? He didn't know how to be the kind of guy she needed but he wanted to be and he thought that he could be, if she'd let him try again.

He looked at the clock. It was only five thirty in the morning. If he showed up at Blair's right now then she would likely still be asleep and that wouldn't do him any good. He needed to apologize; he needed to fix things between them before the twenty four hours Jack had promised him were up because if he knew his uncle, he was sure that he had something up his sleeve for winning Blair over.

_**I took a ride on a February morning,  
Just getting over it and dealing with the mourning,**_

Suddenly Chuck realized that he couldn't stay here anymore, couldn't keep pacing back in forth in his suite. He would go to Blair's and wait there. It wouldn't be the first time he had waited for her in her living room. He called his limo and walked out onto the curb. At least if he was at her house he would feel like he was one step closer to winning her back. As he got into his limo he thought about how stupid he had been, not just the past few days, or the past few months, but the past year. There were very few things that he had done right. It all went back to when he let her leave for Tuscany without him. He had never really made up for that. He finally had the chance to have her and instead he pushed her away, insisting that she chase him, asking her to say words that he wouldn't say himself. He had been so scared, but so foolish.

_**I started thinking out loud: I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired,**_

After his father died, all she wanted was to be there for him, she told him that she loved him, even when he had been unwilling to do the same. And what was his response? "Well that's too bad." He couldn't have said anything worse. Sure he had eventually let Blair take care of him that night but then he left her thinking that he was doing what was best for her. It was his abandonment and negligence that had put her within Jack's grasp in the first place. He couldn't blame her for not wanting to be alone, especially with the kinds of things that he was doing away from her.

_**My baby's flying off the edge of the road,  
He's saying, "I'm so sorry about that note",**_

She had been there for him every minute of his grieving even when that meant letting Jack do horrible things to her. When Jack set him up to catch them together, he had played right into Jack's hands. Effectively crushing Blair. Even when he listened to her side of things, he didn't simply forgive her like he should have, he let Jack drive him away again with a stupid Gossip Girl post. And then he had to go and blame Blair for Jack managing to finagle the company away from him when really he had no one to blame but himself.

_**That left me all alone,  
But I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired**_

Then last night he had acted the worst of all. He acted without taking even a moment to consider what Jack might be doing at the gala, he further embarrassed Blair and when he found out she wasn't pregnant all he could see was what he wanted and what he feared. He projected those wants and fears onto Blair, assuming that she had to feel the same, not even stopping to think what it was like for a woman to think that she was pregnant and find out she's not. There must be something very powerful about that connection thought Chuck as he remembered Jack telling him what his mother had done to have him.

One way or the other, he just screwed up over and over, thought Chuck as he exited the limo and entered the Waldorf's apartment building. Sure enough Blair wasn't awake but Dorota allowed him to wait, so he took a seat in the living room. Chuck couldn't deny that he was worried. Jack had been doing the opposite of him. Every time he pushed Blair away, Jack accepted her with open arms. Arms that didn't mind telling Blair that they loved her. Suddenly, Chuck knew what he had to do to get Blair back and with a little smirk he leaned back against the couch and waited.

_**Somebody turn the lights on,  
Somebody tell me what's wrong,**_

Blair stretched as she woke up. The sunlight was pouring into her room which meant that Dorota must have come in and opened the curtains. Today was going to be a good day, Blair thought with a smile. She didn't know how she knew it, but she did. She was over that little bout of depression from not being pregnant and she could finally be happy that she wasn't going to be a mother at eighteen. She practically skipped over to the shower. She wasn't sure what had her in such a good mood but she was humming the music from My Fair Lady, so something must be right. Usually picking out her clothing was a chore that took serious consideration; but today the perfect outfit seemed obvious. The whole ensemble fit perfectly with the golden headband that she had purchased only a few days before. She smiled at her reflection; perfection.

As she started down the stairs, she couldn't seem to keep the smile off her face. Why was she so happy? She had no clue. She entered the living room, where Dorota usually brought her breakfast on school mornings still smiling; but when she saw Chuck, she stopped dead.

_**I'd be lying if I told you,  
Losing you was something I could handle,**_

Chuck stood immediately as she entered the room. Damn she looked gorgeous, he thought. Noticing that the headband was a perfect contrast to her dark hair. "Blair . . ." He started, taking a step closer to her.

"You look like hell." She said raising her eyebrows and interrupting what was sure to be the start of another fight.

Chuck smirked and ran a hand through his already tousled hair. "I haven't slept, so I imagine that I do." He paused then added almost involuntarily. "You on the other hand look radiant."

_**Somebody turn the lights on,  
****Somebody tell me how long,  
All this darkness will surround you,**_

Blair rolled her eyes, she was still angry at him, right? "Please don't tell me that you think a couple of well placed compliments is all it will take for me to forgive you for last night."

Chuck looked at her, the beautiful girl in front of him that, he knew more than ever deserved to know how he felt. "I know, I wasn't exactly sensitive to your feelings."

"You were an ass." Blair replied as soon as he finished his sentence.

Chuck couldn't help but chuckle a little. "I was an ass." He said before smiling at her. "And I am so sorry."

_**Cuz I'm burning for you,  
Burning like a candle**_

Damn it, why did he always have to fix things so easily. One I'm sorry and she was ready to forgive the way he had been acting. Curse him for making her love him so much that she couldn't even stay mad at him. But she still wanted to hear him say why he was sorry. "For what?" She asked, barely withholding a smirk. Damn it, she really just wanted to skip this part and be with him.

Chuck was staring at a spot behind on the wall behind Blair. He had been preparing for this moment all night. Actually, he had been preparing for this moment a lot longer than that if he was honest with himself, which he rarely was. "For a lot of things." He said before looking back at her face. When she just stood there he continued. "I'm sorry for abandoning you to go to Tuscany."

_**Seven days since I've seen your face,  
Seven nights I have laid to waste,**_

Blair's eyes widened at the mention of Tuscany. That hadn't come up in a long time. "That was forever ago Chuck . . ."

He raised a hand signaling to her that he wasn't ready to stop talking yet. "I know. Yet I think that it's possible that I could never apologize enough for that idiotic mistake." He noticed Blair smile but continued anyway. "And I apologize for not knowing how to say what you needed me to at the white party. I apologize for setting Serena up to be Queen."

At that Blair rolled her eyes; that was so not important now.

_**I'm burning out now,  
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired,**_

Chuck smirked and took a single step towards her. "I know, not important anymore but I still owed you an apology for it." From that he got yet another reluctant smile. "So on with the apologizing. I'm sorry for telling you to chase me, I'm sorry for the way things ended on that rooftop in Brooklyn, I'm sorry for not asking you to the Snowflake Ball myself, like I should have, I'm sorry for what I said after you told me that you loved me, and I'm sorry for leaving that night." All five of these items he ticked off on his fingers, watching as Blair seemed to become sad but impressed at the same time.

Blair couldn't believe everything that he was apologizing for, when she had heard the words from his mouth a few times before this morning, but on his list went.

_**I know we're hanging at the end of the road,  
We've flown too high, make a swarm too low,**_

"I'm sorry for not calling while I was gone, I'm sorry for how I treated you when I got back, I'm sorry for never thanking you for saving my life, I'm sorry for not listening to you when you tried to explain to me about what you were doing with Jack, I'm sorry for saying such hateful things to you when I caught you in Jack's suite, and I'm sorry for believing Gossip Girl over you." At this he took another step towards her. "I'm sorry that I blamed you for losing the company." Another step. "I'm sorry that I made such a scene at the Gala." Another step. "I'm sorry about how I acted about the non-baby last night."

One more step, leaving him only a couple of feet from Blair. "And I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to tell you that I love you." Chuck paused looking into Blair's wildly searching eyes. "So yes, I think it's safe to say that I've been an incomprehensible ass."

_**I heard a screaming out loud,  
I heard a screaming out loud**_

Blair's mouth finally started working again. "Did you just say that you love me?" She asked, almost not believing her ears.

Chuck smirked. "Yes, that would be what I said."

Blair blinked. Chuck was still standing there in front of her. He had said that he loved her and the world hadn't come crashing down. Neither of them had run off, and Jack was nowhere to be seen. This was almost surreal; she had come to the conclusion not so long ago, that happiness just wasn't for her, but in that moment she felt a rush of the self forbidden emotion. Chuck was still standing close by, staring at her; likely he was waiting for her response to those three words, eight letters that meant everything. Then something that could only be doubt blindsided her. The way he had been acting lately made her doubt that he really felt that way about her at all. In fact his words before were _"I lov__**ed**__ you."_ So did he really feel that way at all.

_**Think,  
All the things that you say,  
What are the things that you mean,  
What are the things that you say to me,**_

Chuck watched as the emotions crashed around Blair's face, noticing the moment when she went from happy to something else, possibly skeptical? He guessed as he looked at her. Had he waited too long to tell her? Were even those words not enough to make up for everything that he had done? That's when she spoke.

"Did you mean them?" She asked, immediately averting her eyes afterwards. She felt bad asking but she had to know, she had to know that this wasn't just a game to try to one up Jack.

Chuck felt his stomach drop and a knot form in his throat; his tongue was instantly dry and his hands went clammy. He had been waiting for the perfect moment to tell her for so long, then everything got so screwed up, and now, now she didn't believe him? "You don't believe me." Chuck said as a statement rather than a question.

_**Cuz your tragedy,  
A queen for his majesty,  
All these plans for me,  
Your kingdom is crumbling,**_

Blair spoke, eyes still averted. "It's just with everything that's happened I don't know that I can." Blair turned her head back to face him. "I love you Chuck, you know that I do, I've been telling you for months and I quite honestly don't know how else I could have showed it. I can't get hurt again, I don't think that I can handle it. So if you don't love me, if this is just a way to get at Jack, then tell me now. I'm not saying that if it is things are over between us; but I need to know if you really do love me."

Chuck had to withhold the growl that burned in his throat at the mention of Jack's name. This was_ his_ doing. _He_ had somehow managed to convince Blair that Chuck didn't actually love her. "The only part Jack played in me telling you how I felt is pushing me with a time limit. I can't lose you Blair, I couldn't handle losing you and that's not because I would be losing you to Jack it's because I can't live without you." Chuck said, his voice almost pleading and definitely exasperated.

_**You're a tragedy,  
A queen for his majesty,  
All these plans for me,  
Your kingdom is crumbling,**_

Blair tried to keep from smiling as she took a step towards him. "So you really do love me?" She asked, wide eyes seemingly innocent.

Chuck could see the game that Blair was playing and smirked as he closed the distance between them; speaking as he laid his forehead to hers. "Yes you infuriating girl, I really do love you."

_**Somebody turn the lights on,  
Somebody tell me what's wrong,**_

"Well, it's about damn time." She whispered right before kissing him. She escalated the kiss quickly; this felt so right deep in her gut. Her tongue snaking into Chuck's mouth as her fingers intertwined in his hair.

Chuck groaned into her mouth as he grabbed her thighs and lifted her. Blair's legs immediately wrapped around Chuck's torso as he hoisted her up.

Their tongues were dancing together as Chuck pressed Blair against the nearest wall. They were already heated from the emotion of their conversation and they allowed excitement of the moment to overwhelm them.

_**I'd be lying if I told you,  
Losing you was something I could handle,**_

Chuck ran his hands up her skirt and grasped her thighs, hoisting her up higher around his waist. She moaned into the kiss as Chuck's hands slide up under her skirt, grasping at her ass. As Chuck was reaching for her underwear Blair tightened her hold on his hair and started mumbling, trying to unlatch his mouth from her own. "Chuuck, Chuuuck." She mumbled into the kiss, before finally managing to break his hold on her lips. "Chuck, my mom's here. We can't do this here and we have school in like twenty minutes."

Chuck growled, frustrated as he looked up and down their flushed bodies. "Skip with me. At least your morning classes."

_**Somebody turn the lights on,****  
Somebody tell me how long,  
All this darkness will surround you,**_

Blair looked at him disapprovingly, her back still against the wall and her thighs still around his waist. "Chuck I really shouldn't."

"That wasn't a no." He said seductively, as he ran his hand under the band of her La Perla's.

Blair grinned. "No, that wasn't a no."

Suddenly Chuck was moving. He hadn't altered Blair's position in the slightest but he was walking towards the elevator.

_**Cuz I'm burning for you,  
Burning like a candle**_

"Chuck, what are you doing, put me down!" Blair exclaimed as they stepped inside the elevator. The doors closed and Chuck had yet to release her.

"I don't want to." Chuck said childishly. Only tightening his hold on her.

Blair's eyes widened in alarm. "Chuck this is my apartment building, someone could see us if we walk out to your limo like this." When Chuck just shook his head Blair leaned in and whispered. "I'll skip all day with you and we can do it where ever you want, any way you want."

_**Burning for you,  
Burning like a candle**_

Chuck eyes widened and he sighed, before reluctantly set Blair to her feet just as the elevator door opened. As Blair skipped out he called. "Don't think I'm not going to take you up on that Waldorf."

She glanced back with a wicked look. "Oh I'm counting it."

**Spotted: C and B getting frisky in her apartment elevators before heading in the opposite direction of school. Seems like these two talked things out. Bad news for Uncle J I suppose. I'm guessing this means B's not pregnant. We'll have to keep a close eye on this couple, they are bound to self destruct again in a matter of days, they always do.**

**xoxo  
gossip girl**

**

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A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this update. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE FANFIC. The song is Candle (Sick and Tired) by The White Tie Affair. **

**Reviews are always appreciated :) You know I love knowing what you think.**

**xoxo  
kate **


	22. Making vs Having

**A/N: Yes I know it's short; however I didn't want to ruin it by putting too much extra stuff in. Sometimes less really is more. If you are a CB fan in this story, you should absolutely love it :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: SO I'm just going to go ahead and put this out there THIS CHAPTER IS M (pretty much all of it)**

* * *

Blair mumbled in her sleep as Chuck traced his fingers along her perfect face. She always looked so peaceful when she slept, it was the only time he ever saw her that calm and relaxed. She stirred in his arms and rolled to curl on his naked chest. "Hi." She whispered softly.

"Hi yourself." Chuck said back. He wasn't sure how she was awake again and not completely passed out from total exhaustion but then again the same could be said for him. After all they were currently lying on the floor, their backs against the table legs in the kitchen, with a table cloth draped over them.

Blair smiled as she moved to kiss him; lightly at first but then she deepened their kiss moving herself over him. That's when she felt it against her thigh, growing once more. She broke the kiss and couldn't hold back yet another smile, this one astonished. "Already?" She asked the awe evident in her voice. How was it even possible to have so much sex?

Chuck very nearly blushed at her comment. It was true; somehow he had already managed to become aroused once more. His excuse was that he had been going through Blair Withdraw and his appetite for her was now completely insatiable; not that it was ever easy to meet in the first place. "You have that effect on me Waldorf."

A smirk lightly graced her features as she reached her hand down and stroked his increasing erection. Suddenly she laughed.

"What is it?" Chuck asked a skeptical look on his face. She best not be making fun of anything down there.

Blair noticed the slightly petrified look on Chuck's face and quickly moved to correct herself. "Nothing, it's just I was thinking about our activities so far today and I think we might have gone through an entire box of condoms in addition to having sex on every surface of this apartment."

Chuck smirked in satisfaction it was definitely true. Any smidgen of space left in the apartment that hadn't been tainted by the copious amounts of intercourse in which they had partaken in today, would be difficult if not impossible to find. Chuck could feel himself growing even larger under Blair's continued ministration. "I think the living room table was my favorite." Chuck said as though truly considering the varied possibilities.

Blair couldn't help but smile as she grew warm at the memory; yes the living room table had been very very nice. "I'll agree to that, but even you have to admit that having on the bar was a little kinky." She said with raised eyebrows.

Chuck inclined his head in acquiescence before adding pointedly. "Except the bed."

"What?" Blair asked slightly confused.

"We haven't had sex in the bed today." Chuck said. With Blair's promise of as much as he wanted, anywhere he wanted he hadn't even thought about the bed.

Blair grinned, reiterating. "Yes I suppose you are right. We have had sex everywhere in this suite _except_ the bed." Her voice dropped near the end of her sentence and it was as though they were suddenly on the exact same wavelength. Neither had to ask what the other wanted, the hunger was palpable in the air, the desire blatant in their eyes.

Chuck moved, flipping Blair over until he was now on top, where he placed a single kiss on her lips still rouged from their last, before scooping her into his arms, allowing the table cloth to fall to the floor in a heap.

Blair immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and began layering kisses along his jaw.

Chuck groaned; she was starting to make him slightly uncomfortable below the belt, metaphorically speaking of course since they both had been completely devoid of any and all clothing for hours and as he reached the bed he gently laid her down. However, Blair wasn't in the mood for gentle and she grabbed his face, bringing his lips crashing into hers.

Chuck responded to her kiss with just as much passion as she had presented herself. It was amazing how much he wanted Blair even though they had been together more times than he could count, today alone yet he was painfully ready once more. And it wasn't just because she was beautiful. He wanted her mind, her body, her heart, he was 100% in love with her and now he didn't just know it, he had told her. Somehow finally admitting this made him desire her even more. So as he allowed his hands to explore her body once more he began to feel a fire that he never even knew existed before today. He let his kisses trail down her jaw line to the special place on her neck where he knew she loved to be kissed.

She couldn't think. It was as simple as that. Chuck was trailing kisses down her neck and there was this intense need and desire rushing through her body. She didn't just want Chuck, she needed him; regardless of the fact that she had had him over and over again. However, as good as his touch on her felt, she could also feel her body getting impatient. And when she felt Chuck move away from her she tried to grip into his hair and back to stop him.

Chuck was amused that Blair wouldn't let him pull back. He let her win for a minute because it wasn't like he wasn't enjoying their intense make-out session but eventually he had to reach back and detach her arms from him. When he heard Blair utter sounds of abject frustration, he couldn't help but smirk. "Hold your horses Blair; I'm just getting some protection."

Blair was still pouting though, so Chuck felt the need to further elaborate. "We've been over this before; I don't put you at risk especially not after yesterday's scare."

Blair nodded and he put on the condom. Chuck couldn't help but think that she was impatient for someone who had already had sex so many times that day. Not that he was any less so, he just knew that they had to take precautions or they would regret it later. After he had finally achieved his goal, he kissed her once more. This kiss, this time, on the bed, it was somehow different. No less amazing or less passionate but there was this special spark that had never been there before; not even in their prior escapades today. Chuck knew that Blair recognized it as well as she spoke.

"Make love to me Chuck." She said her voice little more than a whisper. Something was different about this time, something was special and she had finally realized what it was. There was something intrinsically different between making love and having sex and she could feel the difference, moving through her veins. She could feel it in her soul.

Chuck understood the significance of those words as well as Blair did. This wasn't sex, this wasn't a scandalous affair like before, they weren't screwing each other; they were making love. They were moving together in perfect harmony and as he pushed inside her and she arched her back there was a feeling of rightness, of perfection. Regardless of the flaws in their relationship, their love, was perfect. He thrust in and out of her and her hips moved in time with his. Even the sounds of their moaning and sighing fitting seamlessly together. After what could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days, or years they climaxed together, perfectly in sync with one another. As they came down and Blair allowed him to slip out of her, Chuck whispered softly against her ear. "I love you."

Blair smiled and managed to reply. "I love you too." Before falling sound asleep of sheer exhaustion. Chuck simply held her for what seemed like milliseconds before he was asleep as well; as though making love was what was finally enough to tire them out.

**

* * *

A/N: So I really hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if the end got a little cheesy; reviews are of course always appreciated even if you have something bad to say. Constructive criticism is one of the best gifts that a writer can be given so if you have something to say, do it. **

Thanks to everyone who reviewed before:** Luci-Marlena**, **TGPfuture writer**, **ambontoast**, **BrittyKay247**, **Weasley is my anit-drug00**, **finnlover**, **annablake**, **chelle2911**,** xoxogg4lifexoxo**,** MiaTonili**,** Krazy4Spike**,** CarolinaGirl21**, and** maximumfan. **

You guys are all so awesome for sticking with me for such a long time throughout this story. More to come I promise :)

**xoxo**

**kate**


	23. Some Things You Shouldn't Bargain With

**A/N: Long time, I know. I've had tons going on. **

My Reviewers: **BrittyKay247**, **MiaTonili**, **:D**, **maximumfan**, **Krazy4Spike**, **annablake**,** TGPfuture writer, CarolinaGirl21, Luci-Marlena, chelle2911, cynicalshadows, moccamary, **and** bluestriker666. **

You guys totally rock my socks. Love you so much!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: T once more :)**

* * *

Chuck smiled at Blair from his place on the bed as she turned to face him, finally dressed; a process in which he had caused several interruptions. "You know, I think I need to go shopping for some clothes to keep here. We were lucky that we realized this minor detail before I actually spent the night and woke up with nothing to wear."

Chuck couldn't help but laugh. Blair would worry about clothes. "You know I think I prefer you sans clothing." When Blair gave him a poindte look he amended his statement. "However, if you insist, we can go shopping right now."

"Oooo, do I get to model clothing for you?" Blair asked flirtatiously as she walked forward, her steps like those of a model.

"Only the lingerie." Chuck smirked as he placed his hands on her hips and looked up at her adoringly.

She smiled down at him teasingly. "Hmm but if that's all you'll let me try on, then I won't have clothes to wear when I'm at your suite. I'll only have lingerie."

"My point precisely." Chuck said as he pulled her onto the bed with him.

Blair giggled as Chuck tickled her ribs. "Chuck, stop it." She laughed.

Chuck was laughing too as he continued tickling her in places only he knew were ticklish to begin with. She tried to fight back but as luck would have it, he wasn't ticklish. "Nope." He said smiling.

"Cut it out Bass, I just got ready." Blair gasped through her laughter.

Chuck rolled over on top of her, holding himself up above her. All the laughter was gone from the moment as he reached down and brushed a curl from her face. "I love you so much that I would let you model every dress, skirt, and shoe in Barney's, Bendel's, Bergdorf's, and Bloomingdales if you wished it." Now that he had said those three little words, he couldn't seem to stop. It felt so good knowing that she was his, really and truly.

"I love you too Chuck." She said breathlessly. As he pressed his lips to hers.

Immediately the kiss became passionate as his hands moved up her body and into her hair. However, as soon as Blair realized the location of said hands, she rolled him over and sat up. "Sorry Chuck, but it took me an hour to fix my hair and I'm not about to let you mess it up."

Chuck did his best to look offended. "What, you don't want people to know that we just had sex?"

"Not particularly, no." Blair said straightening herself in front of the mirror. "When we make our public debut as a couple in a few minutes, I want everything to be perfect. I will not have a picture of me on Gossip Girl with sex hair." She proclaimed turning and pulling him to his feet. "Now get dressed."

Chuck shot Blair a smirk as he moved to the closet. "Bossy, bossy, bossy Blair. I thought you got all of that out of your system earlier today?" Chuck called as he rifled through his closet, finally settling on a grey pinstriped suit with a pink undershirt and a Carolina blue bowtie. Perfect.

Blair scoffed. "I'm not even dignifying that with a response, Bass." But she couldn't help but smile as he reemerged from the closet perfectly coiffed, looking every bit the handsome devil that he was. "Perfect" She said beamingly as she walked over and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "Are you ready to go public?"

"As ready as ever." Chuck said before reaching and taking Blair's hand in his. "Let's do this."

As they walked from the Palace hand in hand, they weren't looking over their shoulder for cameras because they were finally together and they didn't care who knew. Chuck opened the door to the limo and helped Blair inside. "After you."

Blair couldn't stop smiling as she acted the part of a Hollywood star. "Why thank you Mr. Bass."

Chuck could see the game Blair was playing and as he followed her in he spoke. "Of course Ms. Waldorf."

As the limo door shut once more they dissolved into a series of giggles that lasted well into their shopping trip, as they continued acting like the silly teenagers that they should be. Blair couldn't believe how happy she was. Only yesterday she had been worried about pregnancy, Jack, and a whole host of other things and now she felt like she was on cloud nine. Now the only thing left for them to do was to figure out this mess with the company and everything would be perfect.

Chuck smiled as Blair walked out of the dressing room for what had to be the hundredth time.

"What do you think?" She asked, spinning around in the area outside the dressing room.

The red dress she was wearing flared out as she spun and Chuck couldn't help but smile. "I love it."

"You know you're not much help when it comes to shopping." Blair said, placing her hands on her hips and giving Chuck a small scowl.

Chuck smirked. "I know. It's just hard when your taste is too good to pick out anything that isn't incredible and you look amazing in everything you put on. So it's not really fair to ask me what I think when it comes to you."

Blair ran over to where he was sitting and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you."

Chuck leaned backwards to accommodate her before placing a kiss on her lips. "And I love you."

"Guess what?" She asked in a fake whisper, a huge smile on her face.

"What?" He asked in the same fake whisper.

Blair leaned closer right next to his ear. "It's time for lingerie."

As they walked down the street to La Perla they heard the beep and neither bothered to check their phones. If they had they would have seen a post featuring a picture of themselves kissing in the department store with what would likely be classified as the nicest post she had ever made.

**UES I have an announcement to make. The couple we've all been rooting for has finally figured things out. From saying their 'I Love Yous' to going shopping together it seems as though C and B will finally make things work. From what I hear they are making a final stop at Bergdorf's with a visit to La Perla on the way before heading back to their love nest, if you want to sneak a peek at the happiest people in Manhattan. **

**you know you love me**

**xoxo  
gossip girl**

Jack looked down at the Gossip Girl post that he had just received on his phone. _Sure_ they were happy. Blair could be happy with Chuck for a little while but eventually, his nephew's destructive tendencies would ruin everything they had together. Chuck doesn't know how to be happy any more than he knows how to be in a relationship and it was only a matter of time before everything fell apart. It would destroy Blair when it happened, so much so that she might not be able to handle it; especially with her condition.

Twenty-four hours had come and gone so should he intervene he wouldn't be breaking any promises. If he could split them up now, Blair would be saved so much pain in the long run. But if he failed, he would do so knowing that she was happy. Of course he would prefer that she were happy with him, but as long as he really knew that she was happy and Chuck wasn't going to ruin things he could live with it.

With this decided, he picked up the two sets of papers that he had had prepared by his lawyers earlier that day and he walked out of the suite. He would let them have their fun at La Perla before surprising them at Bergdorf Goodman.

* * *

As Blair and Chuck walked through La Perla, Blair was picking up the sensible sort of underclothes that she would be using for everyday wear. They were still gorgeous, especially for underwear, but definitely more practical than the type of garments that Chuck was selecting. "Chuck that is so not practical for everyday use." Blair said pointing at the hot pink set of decorated negligee that was currently in Chuck's hands.

"I was thinking more every night." Chuck said with a smirk as he added another set to his quickly growing pile.

Blair slapped his arm. "You are disgusting and I love you." Blair said softening.

Chuck couldn't help but remember her words to him when he was trying to seduce her at her party before the start of school. 'You are disgusting and I hate you.' He much preferred her current choice of language. "I know." He said before scooting her towards the dressing room. "Now it's time for my kind of fashion show."

Blair shot him another look but continued into the dressing room. She paraded around in a series of Chuck's selections before finally adorning one of her own. As she exited the dressing room this time, she watched as Chuck's eyes practically popped out of his head. "You like?" She asked, walking all the way over to him.

"I adore it." Chuck said standing up and taking her hand. He made a beeline for the dressing room, seeing Blair in her current attire had him more aroused than he'd been since they left the suite. Right before they reached the dressing room, a salesgirl stepped in their way.

"I'm sorry sir but you're not allowed back there." She said trying to sound authoritative.

Chuck simply raised his eyebrows. "Do you even know who I am?"

The salesgirl did her best to stay calm and in control of the situation. "No sir but no matter who you are, you can't go back there."

"I'm the owner of . . ." He started to tell the girl that he owned the building and half the others in Manhattan before he realized that he didn't actually own the building anymore. He was left a multi-millionaire, possibly even billionaire but he no longer held any claim to Bass Industries. So he went for the line that always worked. "I'm Chuck Bass. I can do whatever the hell I want to, where ever I want to." Chuck said, not an ounce of venom in his voice. He was simply stating facts.

The salesgirl blanched at his name. "I'm sorry Mr. Bass; of course go right ahead." She didn't know what else to do. If the richest kid in Manhattan wanted to have sex in the dressing room at your work, it was kind of hard to say no.

Blair couldn't help but laugh as they stumbled on into the dressing room. "Why Chuck Bass, I do believe you scared that poor salesgirl into a panic attack."

Chuck ran a hand up her leg, scoffing. "If that gave her a panic attack I can only imagine what the sounds we're about to make are going to do to her."

"Bass, I never agreed to a rendezvous in the dressing room of La Perla." Blair said, trying to sound stern.

Chuck leaned over to her ear and whispered. "I believe you said that we could do it where ever I want, any way I want." Chuck said gesturing to their surroundings.

Blair let a heated smile slip through her façade. "Fine but let's try to keep it at a reasonable volume." She hissed as she felt Chuck's hand unsnap one of her garters before sliding under the elastic of her panties.

"Well that's completely up to you now isn't it?" Chuck asked as he started to kiss her neck. This was going to be fun.

* * *

When Jack walked into Bergdorf's, he spotted them immediately. Blair was looking through a collection of headbands and purses as Chuck sniffed a scent at the make up tables. Jack knew that Chuck would be the easier route to take on this venture, so it was Chuck that he approached. "Hello nephew of mine. I believe it's been more than the twenty four hours I promised." Jack said from directly behind Chuck.

Chuck turned around but simply smirked. "Still stalking Blair by using Gossip Girl I see." Chuck noticed Jack look almost guilty at that. "Well since that's the case than you already know you're too late. Blair and I are finally together for real and nothing's going tear us apart; especially not you."

Jack shook his head, a look of pity on his face. "Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, I'm not here to see Blair today; I'm here to see you."

"Me?" Chuck asked, unable to prevent the lift to his eyebrows at the surprise of Jack's statement; however, he rebounded quickly. "Do you honestly think I believe that Jack?"

This time it was Jack who smirked. "You may not believe me now, but you will. You see I have a proposition for you."

Chuck shook his head. "Whatever it is Jack, I'm not biting. I'm done playing your sick games. It's time for you to get out of mine and Blair's lives, for good."

"Oh, I think you'll reconsider when you hear what I'm willing to bargain with." Jack said assuredly. He had thought about this long and hard and he knew now that he was taking the right path, his plan would succeed, one way or the other.

Chuck couldn't help but be intrigued. Jack was always so sure of himself in trading that Chuck had to know the stakes. "Spill Jack."

Jack wasted no time in formalities and cut straight to the point. "The company in exchange for Blair."

Chuck's eyes narrowed. "You're more insane than I thought you were Jack." His uncle really had gone off the deep end now. He had to know that he wouldn't give up Blair for the world, now that he really had her.

"Not really Chuck. Think about it. The company, your father's legacy, all of his dreams and ambitions for you could be yours again. All you lose is a girl whose love for you will eventually wane because of something you've done to her. You're no good Chuck, you've never been in a relationship before, and all you could possibly do is cause Blair pain. Or you can give her up completely and regain the company that you were meant to run." Jack said persuasively.

Chuck glanced over at Blair as she started trying on shoes, completely oblivious to the conversation that he was in the midst of. A conversation that she would be furious about; Blair would loathe being talked about as some kind of bargaining chip. But Chuck couldn't help but consider the offer, even against his will. "You're the one who convinced me that Blair was worth more than a stupid company."

Jack knew the answer to this question because it was written all over his heart. "She is . . . to me." He continued when Chuck didn't speak. "Blair's it for me. I don't care how long she's mine but I want her more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. Do you feel that way about her Chuck? Like you would die if she wasn't happy? Like you couldn't make it through a second, much less a minute without thinking about her? Or do you feel that way about the company? It's your decision to make."

Now Chuck wasn't just glancing at Blair, he was staring at her. Watching her as she shopped for accessories. He loved her so much, but this was the company they were talking about. Not getting it out of Jack's claws would be letting his father down. Perhaps he could get the company and then wait a while before reclaiming Blair. He didn't know though and that was eating him up inside.

"You're thinking about it, I can tell." Jack said as he crossed his arms. "I need an answer Chuck. Blair or the company? Love or making your father proud? Which will it be?"

Chuck looked back at Jack practically growling. "I hate you."

Jack shrugged. "I know. But however you feel about me, you still have to pick one."

"I don't know." Chuck said, his eyes going back to Blair. Was she worth losing the company forever?

The simple fact that Chuck was considering his offer enraged him. The stupid boy didn't even know what he wanted. Jack had been able to manipulate him constantly because Chuck was a kid who had no idea of what he actually desired. He thought that he loved Blair but already he was considering giving her to Jack in exchange for the company. "Well you need to decide before tomorrow morning at eight am."

Chuck looked at him confused. "Why tomorrow?"

"Because if you say no I've got a few other interested buyers who would like to take over before the big decision two days from now." Jack said with a shrug. Sure he was bluffing but nothing would increase Chuck's urge to protect the company than the threat that Jack was going to sell it to someone else.

"You son-of-a-bitch, you can't sell my father's company." Chuck said taking a step towards Jack.

Jack got right up in Chuck's face before he hissed. "Watch me." He then turned as though to exit the store and Chuck caught his arm.

"I'm not saying yes, but if I were to do so how would that even work? Do I just break up with her?" Chuck asked almost not believing the words that were coming out of his mouth.

Jack had to hold the anger back, ensuring that it wasn't apparent in his features, how could Chuck do this to Blair. Sure it was what he ultimately wanted Chuck to do but he never really thought the boy would give up the woman he supposedly loved for a stupid company. He turned to face Chuck. "Yes you break up with her. Somewhere public and in a way that she will never forgive you."

Chuck hung his head in defeat. "I'll think about it." Was he really considering this? Dumping Blair in exchange for the company. His father would have done it in an instant wouldn't he? If he didn't do it would he be disappointing his father's memory again?

"You do that." Jack said before turning away from Chuck. "Remember 8 am."

Blair looked up from the shoe display to see Jack walking away from Chuck. As she did, Jack caught her eye and winked before exiting the store. She immediately got up and walked to Chuck. "What was that about?" She asked, immediately worried. She knew about Jack's twenty four hour deal with Chuck. The twenty four hours were over and Jack was back.

Chuck looked up at Blair, doing his best to hide his indecision. "Nothing, Jack was just being Jack."

**

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A/N: I know it's not the longest chapter but I hope you enjoyed it none-the-less. I'll try to update soon. **

**Reviews are always appreciated**

**xoxo  
kate**


	24. Jack Bass, Master Manipulator

**A/N: Long time, I know. I've had tons going on. Btw if you guys don't read my story The Reality They Live With then you don't know that I'm on a bit of a hiatus from that fanfic and anonymous reviews have been disabled from my fanfics. All of you who reply anonymously to this fanfic are awesome so I'm sorry to do that to you guys but I've had a serious issue with anonymous posting on that story and so I had to do it. Anyways. I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

My Reviewers: **odyjha, xoxocullengirl09, CarolinaGirl21, Mel, Fiee23, Cathybronte, :D, bluestriker666, Cascia, lily, Nikki, Luci-Marlena, and BrittyKay247** you guys are all totally amazing. I love you so much!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: T once more :)**

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Jack sat by his phone, glancing anxiously at the time. It was almost six thirty am. Both Chuck and Blair should be awake by this time getting ready for high school. Jack couldn't help but snicker at the thought. Sometimes he forgot that he was dealing with high school kids if only because Blair was more a woman than he had ever known. However, he was surprised that he hadn't heard from Chuck one way or the other yet. He had assumed that Chuck would decide not to give up Blair, but he had also assumed that Chuck would be paying him some sort of visit. Or at least call him to try to convince him to give him the company anyway. As if on cue his phone rang. "Hello Nephew."

"We need to talk." Chuck spoke groggily. He wasn't happy about being awake this early but he knew that if he was late to school again he would be in major trouble and he had promised Blair that he would try in school and in order for him not to be late and make time to talk to Jack he had to be up now.

Jack tried not to smirk, he knew his nephew well. He was fairly certain that Chuck was about to tell him that he chose Blair but if Jack had his way, Chuck wouldn't have the option anymore. "Head up at eight."

Chuck was about to say okay when he remembered that he would be late if he didn't get to Jack's until eight; the first bell was at eight o'clock. "Jack I can't. It will make me late for school."

Jack snickered into the phone. "Forgive me Chuck but I thought you just said that you can't come talk to me about the company because you'll be late for school."

"I did." Chuck said no humor or feeling in his voice besides his ever present anger at Jack.

Jack was taken aback; this had to be Blair's influence. "Fine, I'll write you a note. I'm still your legal guardian right?"

Chuck knew that that would suffice so he simply grunted into the phone. "I'll be there at eight."

As soon as Jack hung up the phone with Chuck he hit the first number on his speed dial.

"What are you doing calling me?" Blair asked the second she answered her phone. Why had she answered the phone in the first place? This was Jack; deceitful, manipulative Jack. Even talking to him was opening a can of worms. But somewhere deep inside Blair knew that Jack would never do something to intentionally hurt her, plus he had really been there for her the past couple of days.

"Ah good morning to you too Blair." Jack said, an involuntary smile appearing on his face. He didn't know why but even when she was mean to him he ended up smiling like an idiot.

Blair rolled her eyes, knowing that Jack couldn't actually see her, but at the same time she couldn't help but laugh. It was such a Jack-like response. "So what's the deal?" She asked her voice softer now.

Now Jack really was smiling like an idiot._ Man she had him whipped. _"You need to stop by my suite this morning."

Blair pulled a brush through her hair as she continued talking with Jack on the phone. "Um no I don't." She said, her voice dripping sarcasm.

"Do you want to know what Chuck and I were really talking about at Bergdorf's yesterday or not because whatever he has told you I guarantee that he was lying?" Jack asked, laying it out on the table.

Blair had to hold back a snort but her hand holding her hairbrush stilled immediately. "Oh really? And how could you be so certain Jack?"

Jack almost didn't want to say what he was about to because it would hurt her, but he knew he had to or else Chuck was going to hurt her even worse. "Because if you knew you wouldn't still be with him."

At that Blair almost gasped. Jack might be a master manipulator but for some reason she believed that he was speaking the truth. There was something in his voice that almost sounded as though it was causing him physical pain to tell her. "If Chuck wanted me to know he would have told me." She said beginning to brush her hair furiously.

"You asked and he lied; that changes the situation." Jack said honestly because Blair really did deserve to know the kind of guy that she was seeing.

Blair bit her lip in frustration. "I'll be right over but damn it Jack you better not be lying." The only problem with that statement was that she really hoped he was because this was something that she would rather not be true. It was strange; for once she actually wanted Jack to be tricking her. Thirty minutes later, it only took one knock for the door to open.

"Hey there." Jack said, not bothering to hide a smile at seeing her. It felt like it had been a long time since he had been alone with her even though it had only been two days. He wanted to pull her into a hug but he could tell immediately that she wouldn't be receptive to that.

Blair was worried and more than a little nervous about whatever it was that Jack was going to tell her. Her first instinct was to step up and let Jack wrap his arms around her and he clearly wanted to by his open stance. Jack had been her chief source of comfort as of late but she knew that it was wrong so she straightened her spine and held back. "Okay so go ahead and tell me why I'm here." She said walking into the suite with which she had become so familiar.

Jack couldn't help but notice the look on her face and the sound of her voice; she was so resigned. It was as though she was used to being disappointed by Chuck and Jack couldn't help but feel . . . sad. The emotion surprised him and for a moment he regretted what he had done. He was the cause of this sadness but then he reminded himself; if he hadn't Chuck would have eventually and it would have only caused her more pain later. At that thought Jack dove straight in. "Yesterday I gave Chuck an ultimatum, the company or you." Jack said gesturing towards her. "And as we speak, Chuck is getting ready to come meet me in right at an hour on his request."

Blair ran a hand through her perfectly coifed hair, glad that she had decided against a headband today. "I don't believe you." She said flatly. "Chuck wouldn't do that. He would have told me what was going on." But even as she spoke, the words had no meaning to them because as much as she didn't want to admit it; that was exactly what Chuck would do. She tried to insert a little more conviction into her voice as she dropped her hand from her hair. "Prove it."

He had known exactly what Blair's response would be. She wouldn't want to believe him, but of course, deep down, she would. Jack had however brought proof just in case. "I recorded the conversation using my Black Berry." He said removing it from his pocket and setting it on the table. Blair looked at him, a silent plea in her eyes to make it all go away, but he told himself once more, this was for the best and pressed play.

_Hello nephew of mine. I believe it's been more than the twenty four hours I promised._

_Still stalking Blair by using Gossip Girl I see. Well since that's the case than you already know you're too late. Blair and I are finally together for real and nothing's going tear us apart; especially not you._

Blair winced as the recording started and she heard Jack's voice. She didn't want this to be real. When Chuck started speaking, she could almost hear the smirk in his voice. He was so smug and so happy. Jack was looking away from her now. It was clear that he was ashamed of what was currently being said perhaps of the fact that he had set this up. Blair decided to simply listen to the conversation and see how things played out

_Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, I'm not here to see Blair today; I'm here to see you._

_Me? Do you honestly think I believe that Jack?_

_You may not believe me now, but you will. You see I have a proposition for you._

_Whatever it is Jack, I'm not biting. I'm done playing your sick games. It's time for you to get out of mine and Blair's lives, for good._

Blair gave a half smile at Chuck's resistance before remembering that he must eventually have caved or she wouldn't be standing there. She knew at Jack's next words that Chuck would be biting whether he wanted to or not. Chuck could never resist that kind of challenge; especially not from someone he loathed.

_Oh, I think you'll reconsider when you hear what I'm willing to bargain with._

_Spill Jack._

_The company in exchange for Blair._

And there it was. The deal. Jack almost didn't want to do this. He wanted to stop this. The look on Blair's face made him wish he had never even started this. He could have just left her alone and now he was destroying her. But she sat there quietly, simply listening to what the boys said and wishing that it all wasn't true.

_You're more insane than I thought you were Jack._

_Not really Chuck. Think about it. The company, your father's legacy, all of his dreams and ambitions for you could be yours again. All you lose is a girl whose love for you will eventually wane because of something you've done to her. You're no good Chuck, you've never been in a relationship before, and all you could possibly do is cause Blair pain. Or you can give her up completely and regain the company that you were meant to run._

Jack couldn't even look at Blair as he heard his own voice work to convince Chuck to dump her for the company.

Blair knew that Jack wasn't looking at her but she couldn't take her eyes off him. Here he was standing in front of her while they listened to him tell the boy she loved that he would only cause her pain. The words themselves hurt her but the thing that really bothered her was the fact that somewhere inside, she really and truly feared that Jack was right, that Chuck really would only cause her pain.

_You're the one who convinced me that Blair was worth more than a stupid company._

_She is . . . to me._

Blair noticed a pause before Jack's voice continued and as he spoke her face flushed. She could hardly believe the words that Jack had said to Chuck. Did he really feel that way about her?

_Blair's it for me. I don't care how long she's mine but I want her more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. Do you feel that way about her Chuck? Like you would die if she wasn't happy? Like you couldn't make it through a second, much less a minute without thinking about her? Or do you feel that way about the company? It's your decision to make._

Jack just looked at Blair the entire time his recorded voice explicated about how he felt about her and he continued looking at her through the pause he knew was there. He couldn't take his eyes off her; couldn't look away even later as the true reality of Chuck's words hit followed quickly by the pain.

_You're thinking about it, I can tell. I need an answer Chuck. Blair or the company? Love or making your father proud? Which will it be? _

_I hate you._

_I know. But however you feel about me, you still have to pick one._

_I don't know._

Blair wanted to vomit the second she heard Chuck say that he didn't know. How could he not know? It was a stupid company. He had enough money that he could buy his own company. Or if he had just told her then she could have let him know that Jack only held thirty shares anyway. Instead he was considering dumping her because Jack suggested that he do so for the company.

_Well you need to decide before tomorrow morning at eight am._

Why tomorrow?

_Because if you say no I've got a few other interested buyers who would like to take over before the big decision two days from now._

Blair looked at Jack questioningly at the other buyers comment and he shook his head, letting her know that he had simply been goading Chuck.

_You son-of-a-bitch, you can't sell my father's company._

_Watch me._

_I'm not saying yes, but if I were to do so how would that even work? Do I just break up with her?_

Jack really didn't want to look at Blair as Chuck asked how to break up with her and he answered; but he couldn't take his eyes off her, even as she heard the end of the conversation.

_Yes you break up with her. Somewhere public and in a way that she will never forgive you._

_I'll think about it._

_You do that. Remember 8 am._

At first Blair thought that she was in shock, but then the recording ended and the first tears fell. This wasn't happening; it couldn't happen. They were happy; for the first time in over a year they were finally happy and it was by far the happiest they had ever been. Yesterday Chuck had told her he loved her, today she found out that there was a big possibility that he loved the company more. And what's worse she almost understood. It was his father's legacy and no matter what the company wouldn't hurt him, it wouldn't leave him. Blair on the other hand had that power. But it still hurt, so much that she couldn't quite handle it because if they weren't strong enough to withstand Jack's manipulations now on the day that they told each other that they loved each other; then they never would be. She looked back at Jack, who was standing in front of her looking apologetic.

"I'm sorry." Jack said, actually meaning it.

Blair narrowed her eyes, studying Jack as he stood in front of her. Jack didn't play fair, he schemed and manipulated until he got his way. This time it just so happened that he had gotten Chuck to admit something that almost killed her. But she saw that he did in fact mean what he said; Jack was sorry, not for doing what he did, but for how it made her feel. More tears flooded her eyes and she opened her mouth to talk. "Wh . . . What am I supposed to do?" She hated that she stuttered and she hated that she asked that question; mainly because they made her sound so weak, so weak and broken.

Once more Jack wanted to wrap his arms around her; to make any pain she had go away. But he couldn't. "That's up to you. It's your decision whether or not you can live with the knowledge that Chuck was considering trading you to me like some kind of bargaining chip in exchange for the company."

So abruptly that it surprised her, Blair was furious and she found herself rushing at Jack. As she reached him, he just stood there as she pounded on his chest, pounded knowing that it was doing no good. "You bastard, I hate you, I hate you. Why did you do this to me? How can you say you love me than set Chuck up with the one thing that would get him to do something like this? You're sick, you're sick." Eventually as her fists stopped pounding and the tears became too heavy to speak, Jack wrapped his arms around her.

"I thought it would be better if it happened now, than if it happened down the road, with you even more involved." Jack said softly into her hair.

Blair pulled away and Jack's arms gave. He made absolutely no effort to stop her. "But to do this now, when he and I were finally happy?" She said a lift at the end as though it were a question. But as she looked up at Jack she got a very different sort of answer than what she was expecting. He was looking at her now as though there was something else. "There's more. What is it?"

Jack could automatically tell that she feared the worst so he immediately sought to change that. "Once you asked me to prove to you that I loved you by giving you the company. I think you know that I love you but I have a proposition all the same." He could see it in her eyes that she was interested so he continued, pulling the papers from his shirt pocket and unfolding them. He immediately handed them to her.

"What is this?" Blair asked examining the paper, seeing words like shares, transfer, and Bass Industries covering the paper, with Jack's signature at the bottom.

"It's 29 shares of Bass Industries. I signed it in front of a lawyer. That leaves me with thirty. Just over a quarter of the company belongs to you. If you'd like you can give the company to Chuck but I would rather you ran it with me. At very least I need you to stay with me until after the meeting tomorrow." Jack said, suddenly slightly worried. If she didn't vote with him tomorrow, the results would be disastrous.

Blair couldn't believe it. Little did Jack know he just left himself with only one share of the company and her with 58 shares. She looked between him and the paper in shock and decided to play along. "Jack . . ." She started.

"Don't even try to change my mind about any of this; it's all 100% legal. You own 29% of Bass and I need you to vote with me tomorrow morning." Jack said, doing his best to sound certain in his decision. "We have to vote . . ."

Blair was dreading his next words. If he said to vote yes for the merger she already knew that she couldn't do that. It would be wrong for the company.

"No." Jack finished anxiety coloring his voice, noticing the relief that flashed on Blair's face.

"Thank God you said no because there was no way in hell I was voting for that merger. If that happened then it would only be a matter of time before the company was going public. The opposing company is composed of awful businessmen who would drive Bass straight into the ground with their yellow-belly techniques." Blair said, beginning to rant. She was so nervous. Somehow she had become the majority share holder of Bass Industries without once expressing an interest.

Jack smiled. "You've studied up on this haven't you?" He knew it from the beginning that Blair would make a shrewd business woman but to see her in action right there was priceless.

"Of course." She replied, settling down. "Someone had to advise Chuck because we both know he hadn't taken the time to really look into it and decide for himself what was best for the company." Everything felt so surreal. She must still be in shock because all her tears had vanished yet she was still so very sad about the entire situation.

"Good." Jack said before taking a look at his watch. "Blair, it's seven forty and you still have to get back to the Upper East Side before school starts. I can write a note for Chuck but I think that it would be a little suspect if I wrote one for you."

Blair smiled against her will. His last comment had made her laugh internally thinking about what Queller would say if Blair came in with a note from Jack Bass. "You're right. But just so you know I'm still mad at you."

As Jack walked her to the door, he could still see the sadness in her eyes and thought that perhaps she was close to tears once more. "I know. I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow morning." He said softly before leaning in and placing a kiss on her forehead. When Chuck came upstairs fifteen minutes later he wanted to keep it quick. "So what's your decision?" Jack asked, sticking to the formalities.

Chuck just shook his head. "I'm still thinking about it. I can't decide." Chuck said waiting for Jack's wrath; a wrath that never came.

Jack simply shrugged. "Do you think with one more night you could figure it out?" He asked.

Chuck shrugged as well. "I honestly don't know; but it couldn't hurt."

Jack nodded. "Meet me at the board room tomorrow morning before the meeting and we'll figure it out then. Either way you need to be at the meeting because you are going to remain the public face of Bass as is expected."

This time it was Chuck's turn to nod. He felt like he was mimicking everything Jack did. So when Jack quickly wrote a note for school and handed it to him, he took off. He really couldn't stand that guy.

As Jack watched Chuck leave, he couldn't help but smile. He had done it. His entire plan had gone off without a hitch. Chuck would be there at the meeting tomorrow, where Blair would announce her shares of the company and vote with him against the merger. Then even if Blair wanted to forgive Chuck; he would never never forgive her for working with Jack. It was the perfect Catch 22.

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A/N: So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter full of twists. **

**Reviews are always appreciated.**

**xoxo  
kate**


	25. Avoidence Meets Guilt

**A/N: This is shorter but since it's a fairly quick update, I think that makes up with it. Hope you enjoy. Btw, I started a new poll on my profile about whether you are Team Jack or Team Chuck; be sure to vote. **

My Reviewers: **BrittyKay247, xoxocullengurl09, blair4eva, CarolinaGirl21, odyjha, lily94, maximumfan, bluestriker666, .x0x0, ForgetMeNevermore, MiaTonili, RavenKeeble, and chelle2911 **you guys are all totally amazing. I love you so much!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: T once more :)**

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"There you are; I've been looking for you all day." Chuck said, sitting down next to Blair in the courtyard.

Blair looked up briefly. "Hey." Before looking back down at the papers in front of her. She was mad at Chuck, so mad that she wasn't sure she could even look at him right now without blowing up. She just wanted to get through the board meeting tomorrow and then they needed to have a serious conversation. She knew that she wasn't completely innocent in this mess. She had held the shares to Bass Industries for months without so much as a word but she would have given them up in an instant if she thought he would be better off. She would never have dreamed of giving him up instead.

Chuck wasn't sure what was up with Blair; she seemed distracted and more than a little pissed off. "What are you reading?" He asked sliding a hand in hers under the table and placing a kiss on her neck as he looked over her shoulder.

She immediately slid her hand out from his, placing her elbow on the table and placing her chin on it. "Stuff about the board meeting tomorrow."

"Why?" Chuck asked abruptly. What was Blair doing reading about the meeting when he no longer held shares in the company? Immediately he felt guilty, these thoughts only led him to once more wonder what he was going to do about Jack's deal.

Blair barely glanced at Chuck. She could tell him right then that she was now the CEO of Bass or she could let him find out on his own like he deserved. She was so angry that she didn't mind the second option. "I'm just worried about the merger tomorrow."

Chuck nodded. Of course, Blair would be worried about that. She wanted to take care of him. "There's nothing we can do about it." He said rubbing her shoulder.

The massage she allowed to continue; she was so stressed and it felt so good. Suddenly she turned her head to face him. "What would you have done if you were still CEO? Would you have voted for the merger?"

"Of course." Chuck said leaning back. "It would bring so much property and clientele to Bass that we would double in revenue."

Blair was afraid that was Chuck's rationale for the situation and secretly she was glad that he didn't currently hold shares. At least this way she wouldn't be embarrassing him with a head to head in front of the board because she knew the in and outs of this deal and Chuck didn't; she would have had to destroy him to protect his company like she had promised that she would. She simply shrugged, it wasn't important anymore. "I've got to go." She said standing and walking away; leaving Chuck sitting there alone and confused.

Blair left school that day, anger still affecting her emotions. She didn't want to see Chuck for fear of what she would say to him, so she went home, did her homework, watched Roman Holiday, and went to bed, tomorrow was a big day.

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Jack rubbed his temples. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. He was more than obsessed with Blair Waldorf. He was completely and hopelessly in love with her and it scared him so badly that he didn't know how to handle it. All he wanted anymore was to be near her; to have the chance to make her happy; but he was being stupid.

Today he had given her half of the company that he had worked so hard to get. All of his planning over the past few years had been thrown away over a girl; a stupid girl that was all he could think about. How had this happened? Jack Bass did not fall in love; yet here he was sitting in his town car outside of Blair's building. He could see the light on in her window, her shadow as she climbed into her bed. He wanted nothing more than to be there with her.

Everything he had wanted was falling through his fingers because all he wanted now was Blair. He had worked for so long to move up within Bass Industries. Everything he had done to his brother trying to secure the company was about to be for nothing because he didn't want the company anymore. Bart had been right all along when he had said that if Jack were to ever get what he wanted, he wouldn't want it anymore.

_**November, 2008**_

_"Shouldn't you be on a plane back to Australia?" Bart asked, looking up from his desk with his ever present scowl before looking back to the briefs in front of him. _

_Jack smirked. "Couldn't I just be here to say hello to my older brother before I leave to go back across the world?" _

_Bart didn't even look up. "No." _

_Jack just grinned, his brother knew him too well. After all he and Evelyn practically raised him. But one way or the other, he had worked too hard for too long to let Bart decide to give the company to Chuck instead. Bart had assured him on several occasions that there was no possibility of that happening. Then three days ago, when Jack had come up for the meeting of the heads of the divisions of Bass, Bart had informed him of everything Chuck had done over the past year and his intentions of making Chuck his heir. Jack had spent his time since doing his best to dissuade him from this. "Fine, I'll cut all the bullshit if you will." _

_Bart grunted a little and looked up. "You have my attention."_

_Jack immediately said what he wanted to say. "Are you going to give the company to Chuck?"_

_Bart didn't even break eye-contact. "Yes." _

_Automatically, Jack's pulse began to race. Of course, He had been second best his whole life. He never came in first for anyone; why would this be any different. "Why?" _

_"He's my son." Bart said resolutely. "And he's been working hard lately."_

_Jack wanted to punch his brother more than he had ever wanted to punch someone in his life. He imagined slamming his fist into Bart's face until he got what he wanted but knew that security would be on him so quickly that he would probably only get one good punch not to mention the fact that more than likely Bart would fire him. Instead, Jack tried to hold back his unconcealed rage. "Why did you bother telling me? So you're going to change your will, why didn't you just do it instead of dealing with a confrontation with me." _

_For a moment Bart softened. This was his brother. He had said earlier that Chuck was his son but Jack was almost a son as well. He had never wanted either but he wasn't blind. He knew that Jack had worked his whole life to please him and somewhere inside he wanted to protect him. "Jack, you don't really want the company." _

_He couldn't believe the audacity of his brother; saying that he didn't want the company. Of course he wanted the company; it was what he had been working towards his whole life. Chuck was nothing more than a dysfunctional teenager. He didn't deserve the company. By the time Bart was his age he was interning at Bass every day. "How would you begin to know what I want Bart? You shipped me away to boarding school as soon as I was old enough and once I was out of college you gave me my own division of Bass all the way across the globe, all so you didn't have to be near to me. You don't know my wants."_

_Jack would never know how much Bart cared about him. He just couldn't handle being around him. He wanted what was best for both him and Chuck. He had always believed that Jack was the one who would one day take over the company; he was like his brother, he had a business mind. In that he also believed that Chuck's future pursuits lay elsewhere. But lately things had shifted. Jack seemed lonely and unhappy every time Bart saw him which led him to believe that maybe it was Jack's future that lay elsewhere; especially since Chuck had begun to show true promise and devotion to the business world. "I told you that I was changing my will because I want you to pursue your other options Jack. You deserve a chance at happiness. After so many years, I've finally found that and I don't want you or Chuck to make the mistakes I made."_

_Jack was dumbstruck. He had never heard Bart speak like that before and it was disquieting. He opened his mouth to speak but found that he couldn't and shut it. _

_Noticing his brother's speechlessness Bart kept talking. "You will never be happy running the company. I can see it in your eyes. You're tired and you're too young to be so worn out. At this rate you'll be burnt out by the time you're forty. Find something that you enjoy Jack, not just something that you're good at. Chuck enjoys the business; I think it surprised him just how much he loved it, but once he's been properly trained he could run this company and be happy doing it."_

_Jack was starting to believe that Bart was really doing this for his own good until he heard Chuck's name and then he couldn't take it anymore. Bart didn't care about him; he never had and he never would. All he cared about was the company and leaving it to Chuck apparently. His eyes flashed as he spoke. "If you do this Bart, you aren't my brother anymore. I will continue to run Bass Australia as your associate but we are no longer family." _

_"Jack . . ." Bart began, thinking that Jack was acting like a kid who had just had his favorite toy taken away. _

_Jack interrupted immediately shouting. "NO! I don't want to hear it Bart. If you haven't changed your mind, then don't say anything." When Bart just sat back in his chair, Jack hissed through his teeth. "You're going to regret that decision Bart; I swear you will. You won't get away with this." He said before storming out. _

_Bart wanted to stop him but he knew that there was nothing that he could do or say to make the situation better. Jack had to figure out this one for himself. But he felt strangely ominous about the entire situation as though there was a threatening storm along the way and for the first time in as long as he could remember he felt fear. The intensity of the fear was so that he picked up his phone, "Mr. Donavon, I need to see you as soon as possible. It's about my will."_

Jack slammed his hand on the steering wheel. Damn it why hadn't he listened then. He wouldn't be where he was now, in this situation. He wouldn't have been in love. Everything could have been different. But did he really want everything to be different? Would he rather have not known Blair at all? In truth it wasn't even a question; he couldn't imagine his life without Blair in it anymore. Maybe he didn't have to do what he did. Maybe things could have been different and he would have met Blair anyway. Maybe they would have been happy. Maybe Bart would be alive. Maybe he wouldn't have been the reason his brother was dead.

**

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A/N: Here's the next chapter eek! I hope you all enjoyed. I know it's a shorter chapter. Don't forget to vote in the poll. So far, I've been really surprised with the outcome.**

Reviews are always appreciated. 

**xoxo  
kate**


	26. It's All I Have

**A/N: Sorry my life is crazy right now. This chapter is a doozy though! Enjoy :)**

My Reviewers: **bluestriker666, lily94, x0x0Tinax0x0, BrittyKay247, MsArchuletaSalvatoreCullen1, Luci-Marlena, annablake, CakeNIcecream, nostalgiakills, CarolinaGirl21, chelle2911, and Noirreigne **you guys are all totally amazing. I love you so much!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: T once more :)**

* * *

Blair groaned as her cell phone blasted with a simple ringing sound. Who was calling her this early that didn't have a preset ringtone? "Hello." She said groggily into the phone, not really paying much attention to the answer. It was Thursday, she needed her sleep if she was going to make it through the board meeting.

"Blair, where are you? The meeting starts in an hour and we were supposed to meet before hand to talk to the board about your shares." Lily said worriedly. Blair should have been there a long time ago; Lily had called her when she was officially late.

As Lily's voice filled her ear, Blair snapped up in bed, looking quickly at the alarm clock. Shit, it was nine o'clock, she had overslept. "Lily I'm so sorry, I'll be there I just overslept." Immediately she was up and out of bed. She covered the receiver for a moment and screamed, "Dorota, where are you?" before turning her attention back to Lily.

Lily could hear Blair yelling at Dorota in the background and almost smiled before remembering the seriousness of their current situation. "Do you want me to talk to the board without you so that they are prepared?"

Blair gave a half laugh as she shed her clothes to jump into the shower. "Don't worry about it. I don't need the board, not anymore."

"What do you mean you don't need the board?" Lily asked confused. Of course they needed the board, without them they wouldn't be able to vote against Jack if it became necessary.

The water in the shower was hot and Blair didn't have time to explain things to Lily, she was already running late today. "Everything will make sense when I get there, just don't let the vote happen before then."

Lily didn't question her on her remarks and simply let her go, thinking that whatever was going on Blair better know what she was doing.

* * *

Jack smirked as he saw the door to the informal board room open. For most meetings this was the room used but today was important, today they were voting in the formal board room, leaving informal available for his little conference with Chuck. He wanted the board to see the inevitable confrontation but not what led up to it.

"Jack." Chuck said searchingly as he opened the door to the dark room; Jack clearly hadn't bothered turning on the light. He hadn't slept thinking about what he was going to tell Jack this morning. He didn't want to lose Blair but this was his father's company that they were talking about; he couldn't just throw away a chance at getting it back.

Jack couldn't help but smirk as he saw Chuck reach for the light, his nephew always had been scared of the dark. "Good Morning nephew of mine."

Chuck had to withhold a smile at the term of endearment Jack had used. That had always been their way of acknowledging each other. It was hard to think that once they had been close. Jack was closer to his age than Bart's and had always been a role model of sorts. But that was over now, this was war. "Is it?" Chuck asked questioningly.

Jack's smirk widened. "Now that completely depends on your decision doesn't it?" It was fun toying with Chuck like this, especially since he knew that Blair would be here any moment and the real fun would begin. He couldn't wait to see Chuck's face when Blair voted against the merger at the meeting. Of course it was the right decision for the company, but it was still going to be a slap in Chuck's face. Jack couldn't help but feel self-satisfied; he had orchestrated everything so well.

"I suppose it does." Said Chuck as he continued standing near the table where his uncle was seated.

"And . . ." Jack asked leadingly. Not that it mattered what Chuck had decided but Jack was still curious. If Chuck had chosen Blair, Jack might feel the tiniest tinge of remorse over what was about to happen. That would mean that Jack had managed to teach Chuck what Bart had been unable to teach him; the people you loved were what mattered the most. However, if Chuck was intending to choose the company, Jack had been right all along about how Chuck felt about Blair.

Chuck glared and shook his head. "Why are you doing this Jack? What do you serve to gain from making my life miserable?"

Jack sighed, Chuck really reminded him of himself last fall when he was trying to convince Bart not to give Chuck the company. That was something he should remember. If Chuck really was like him, he should be expecting some attempts on his life at any moment. "Everything Chuck. I would gain everything. Now cut the bullshit and tell me what you came here to say."

Chuck inhaled through his nose, once he made this decision, there really wasn't a going back. It would be done and he would have to deal with the fall out. "I accept your offer."

Jack felt immediately vindicated. He had been right all along; he loved Blair more than Chuck did. The acceptance of his offer proved that but he wanted to play with Chuck a little more before he filled him in on the fact that he had lost the game a long time ago. "Accept my offer of what Chuck?" When Chuck narrowed his eyes, Jack lifted his eyebrows. "I want to hear you say it."

Chuck practically growled. "I will end things with Blair in a way that there is no chance of reconciliation in exchange for the company." He didn't want to do this but he couldn't help but think that it was the only decision he could make. If Blair truly loved him she would understand that he had to do it and she would forgive him.

This was going to be fun, thought Jack as he stood up. "You talk about Blair as though she is something to own."

"Don't go there Jack, you're the one who made the proposal." Chuck said angrily as he ran a hand over his head. He couldn't quite discern the look on his uncle's face at the moment and it worried him immensely.

Jack shook his head. "Yes I made the proposition, however in doing so it should have been clear which of the two I placed more value on. I would never trade Blair like some sort of cattle."

Chuck immediately snapped back. "You just did Jack. Just because you traded something for her doesn't change the fact that you did it too."

"Oh but I didn't." Jack said with a smirk as he moved towards the door. It was about time for the meeting to start and he certainly didn't want to be late, or miss Blair's arrival. There were sure to be fireworks.

Chuck immediately followed Jack. "What do you mean you didn't? What do you think that was Jack?"

Jack couldn't help but laugh. It was almost pitiful how clueless Chuck was. "It was a game Chuck. Or maybe experiment is the right word." Jack said as though he was contemplating.

Chuck felt the rush of anxiety as it shot up his spine. Jack looked too happy at that moment, too happy and too evil. "What's going on that I don't know?" Chuck finally asked as they walked into the board room, which was surprisingly empty.

"That would take days to list." Jack said with humor feeling his voice, but he could see the fury pumping in Chuck's veins and knew better than to antagonize him more at the moment. "Let's just say that I never had any attention on making any sort of deal with you. I was just curious as to what you would do." He took a seat at the board room table, leaving the CEO seat open for Blair. Sure he had more shares than her but he thought it would add a nice touch to the betrayal that Chuck was about to endure. Unlike Chuck, he hadn't been surprised to find the board room empty, he expected that Lily was trying to make some sort of play for the board; not that it mattered as long as Blair was on his side.

Chuck couldn't seem to get his bearings; had Jack really just done all of this to mess with him? No there had to be more to it. Jack didn't just play games for the fun of it. He always had an agenda, always had a goal and simply screwing with his emotions wasn't a good enough one. Just as Chuck was about to say more the door opened.

Jack smiled, as the door open and Mr. Donavon walked in; Blair was a genius, thinking to bring the lawyer to cut through any legal red tape. "Mr. Donavon what a nice surprise." Jack said with a smile. "I assume Blair asked you to come."

Chuck immediately turned in his chair to see Mr. Donavon, the family lawyer standing there. "What are you doing here?" He asked, his anxiety over the current situation growing by the minute. There was something more going on here. Chuck was so caught off guard that he hadn't really heard the comment about Blair inviting him.

"You'll see." Jack said snarkily. Now all he needed was Blair to arrive to make this day perfect.

Mr. Donavon was not fond of Jack Bass. He was a conniving SOB and he wasn't happy with Blair's choice of business partners at the moment but he was there for her today since he seemed to have been left in her appointment. However, he couldn't help but utter a sarcastic remark. "So will you." He indicated at Jack.

Jack immediately caught the change in dynamic. Donavon knew something that he didn't. "What are you talking about?"

"You'll see." Mr. Donavon replied, repeating Jack's earlier phrase.

Chuck was still mulling over the situation when he realized just what Jack had said when Mr. Donavon had walked in the door. "Wait a second; what does Blair have to do with any of this?"

As if on cue, the door opened once more as Blair stormed in, furiously arranging the papers in her hand. She absolutely hated being late. She was so distracted she almost ran into Mr. Donavon. "Oh good, you're here." She said looking up at Mr. Donavon and straightening her slim fitting suit. She didn't even notice the other people present until Chuck spoke.

"Blair?" Chuck asked questioningly to get her attention. What the hell was she doing here? He was further alerted by the surprise in her eyes as she noticed him. Several things registered in his mind all at once. Blair was surprised to see him; she hadn't expected him to be here. However from her attire and the papers in her hand it was clear that she was supposed to be here. Jack and Mr. Donavon had both been expecting her. Yet there was something else that Mr. Donavon and Blair knew that Jack didn't. All of these facts had to be absorbed quickly in order for him to keep from panicking and handle this situation.

"Chuck?" She responded eyes wide, before turning to Jack. "What's he doing here Jack? What the hell is he doing here?" She was nearly hysterical as she questioned Jack. What had he done to manage to get Chuck to show up for this board meeting? Whatever it was, Blair knew immediately that Jack had manipulated them once more. Now the tables were once more turned in hers and Chuck's relationship.

Jack couldn't wipe the smirk off his face if he had tried. "I thought it best if he found out the news sooner rather than later."

"Find out what?" Chuck asked quickly, doing her best to keep up with the conversation when he didn't know everything that was going on.

Blair wanted to throttle Jack in that moment but instead she turned to Chuck. "Oh my God, Chuck I am so sorry, this isn't how I wanted you to find out about all of this, not matter how mad I was."

Chuck couldn't stop the involuntary jerk of his head. "Why were you mad at me?" He had known yesterday that something was off but he had been baffled as to what. There was nothing that he had intentionally done to piss Blair off; he knew better than that by now.

Blair rolled her eyes. This was hardly important right now but she supposed that it had to be discussed eventually. Perhaps knowledge of his own fault in the matter would keep him from being too furious at her when he found out that she held controlling interest of Bass. "I know about your deal with Jack."

Chuck immediately averted his eyes to Jack's. "You son-of-a-bitch I knew that there was some kind of ulterior motive."

Jack shrugged. "Come on Chuck, you know me better than to think that anything is that straight forward with me. After all, you were an idiot for going along with it; as I said before Blair's not some piece of property to be bartered and traded." Then he looked at Blair. "Care to know what Chuck's final decision was?"

Chuck glared at Jack. "Shut up Jack, what I said this morning doesn't matter."

Blair looked between both. "Both of you just be quiet." When neither looked as though they had any intention of shutting up she addressed each in turn. "Jack, no need to tell me, by Chuck's response I think it's safe to assume that he picked the company. And Chuck, regardless of your choice, I had a right to be angry that you were even considering it."

Chuck couldn't believe it. How had Jack managed to orchestrate all of this so flawlessly? "Blair just give me a chance to explain." He started.

Blair shook her head. "No need Chuck. I know why you did it. I think I expected you to. It's not that I don't understand, I really do. Either way it doesn't change the fact that it hurt. Now for the more pressing matter at hand . . ." Blair began, but she was cut off as the door open and the board, headed by Lily waltzed in.

Jack couldn't help but chuckle. Chuck still didn't know, therefore he was in for the surprise of his life.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you." Mr. Donavon remarked lowly so that only Jack could hear.

Jack had almost forgotten that the older man was there. Jack flipped around his eyes narrowed. The old man sure knew how to push his buttons.

Lily took in the situation at hand as she directed the board to sit down. Chuck's presence was unexpected as was the family's most prominent lawyer. She shot Blair an enquiring look.

When Blair noticed Lily looking at her she did her best to smile but assumed that she probably came off as anxious as opposed to excited. She turned to Chuck and furiously began speaking in hushed tones. "I promise what you are about to hear wasn't something I intentionally did and I really hope that you aren't going to hate me."

"Nothing could make me hate you Blair. I think we've established that." Chuck said trying to manage a smile even in the midst of the chaos that was currently going on as the board members tried to figure out what Blair Waldorf and Jack Bass were doing there.

Jack reached out an arm and tugged Blair towards him. "Why don't you have a seat Blair?" He asked gesturing towards the empty CEO chair.

Blair glared at him but since it looked like her only option she did as she was told. It was then that Mr. Fleming, chairman of the board, spoke. "Will someone please inform me of what this circus is all about? This is a closed meeting for crying out loud." He faced Chuck. "Your personal life has no place for the board room Charles, your girlfriend and your uncle need to leave."

Chuck couldn't help the color that rose to his cheeks. "Apparently I'm the one who's no longer welcome. Jack owns the company now."

Gasps could be heard across the room as everyone absorbed the new information. Lily simply shot Blair a look that spoke volumes; it was a look that Chuck intercepted and suddenly Chuck understood that Lily knew why Blair was there as well.

This time it was Jack who broke the silence. "Well that's not entirely true." He began. As he spoke he brought his hand to Blair's over the table and gave it a squeeze. Chuck looked outraged and Blair flipped her eyes to Jack and jerked her hand away.

Suddenly she felt angry and impetuous causing her to interrupt what was sure to be a very vindicating speech for Jack. "You're right Jack, that's not true at all."

Jack looked at her confused. Now he knew that he was missing something, Blair looked as though she was Queen of the world or perhaps CEO of Bass industries. Clarity washed through him. He was certain now that Blair had managed to gain controlling interest of the company but how could that have happened.

Blair noticed as a bewildered understanding hit Jack and turned her gaze to Chuck to see the same look on his face. "How?" He mouthed. Blair simply shook her head as Mr. Fleming coughed, letting her know to get on with it. Blair faced the board, her game face on. "Actually, I'm the majority shareholder of Bass Industries."

Every jaw in the room hit the table other than Blair's and Mr. Donavon's, even Lily had never in a million years imagined that this was possible.

Chuck couldn't digest the information, he didn't want to. He would have thought that Jack gave the company to Blair if Jack hadn't looked just as surprised as him. "How?" Chuck managed to say out loud this time, voicing everyone's opinion.

Blair gestured for Mr. Donavon to step forward. "I think it would be best to have my lawyer explain this one." She spoke before smirking at Jack.

Jack couldn't believe it, he was completely amazed. He didn't know how Blair had managed to out maneuver him but she had. He was also surprised that he wasn't angrier than he was. Quite honestly, it just made him more in awe of her. He leaned back in his seat to listen to Mr. Donavon talk.

At a nod from Blair, Mr. Donavon began. "Let's see, I'd best begin with the will." Chuck's eyes lit up immediately; this had something to do with his father. "Mr. Bart Bass simply said in his letter that he was leaving the remaining shares to Chuck. He failed to mention that the remaining shares were 30. He left the other 29 to Ms. Waldorf as a way to safeguard the company."

Blair looked at Chuck with pleading eyes knowing that he was going to hate her for this, no matter what he had said before. What she had done, keeping this from him, was something that he would find unforgiveable.

Chuck couldn't stop the rage that began pounding through his body; from somewhere deep within him, the urge to grab Blair's shoulders and shake her until her brain was bleeding became almost unbearable. How could she have kept something like this from him? There had to be a better explanation than what was being said.

Jack watched as Blair looked at Chuck with eyes that were begging him not to jump to conclusions. It was almost ironic how things were turning out. Sure he didn't have the company, or from the sounds of it he had 1 share of the company, but there was still a chance that he could have Blair. In fact, things on that front were looking pretty good from where he was sitting.

Mr. Donavon continued talking. "Two days ago Mr. Jack Bass signed over 29 of his 30 shares to Ms. Blair Waldorf for unknown reasons. Leaving Ms. Waldorf with 58 shares, which is easily controlling interest, makes her CEO of Bass Industries." Then addressing Blair alone, he lowered his voice. "If that's all Ms. Waldorf I have a meeting at ten."

Blair turned to Mr. Donavon. "Thank you for coming today and of course you can leave." As she faced the board once more, she noticed how silent it was. No one had spoken a single word since Mr. Donavon.

It was Jack who broke this particular silence with a slow clap. "Nicely played Waldorf, nicely played. You out manipulated me."

Blair was surprised to find him smiling and shaking his head slowly. "You're deranged. I just managed to finagle the company from within your grasp and you applaud me?"

Jack smirked. "What can I say, I appreciate worthy competition? Some might say I _love_ it."

This time it was Chuck who interjected. "Shut up Jack. No one wants to hear it."

Blair was surprised to hear him speak. She'd actually thought that he might have gotten up and left. This was not the sort of confrontation that Chuck would normally sit through. So she gave him her full attention, ignoring the still shockingly silent board.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" Blair asked quietly. When Chuck nodded, she stood and faced the board. "I call the board to recess."

"Seconded" Lily said speaking quickly so that Blair could try to repair things with Chuck. As proud of Blair as she was at that moment, she knew that doing what she had just done would have serious consequences on the relationship front.

Blair nodded at Lily in thanks. "The board will reconvene in twenty minutes." Blair said before walking out with Chuck hot on her heels. Immediately she went into the spare board room. They were going to need some privacy. As soon as Chuck shut the door behind him, she jumped in head first. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to find out. That was the plan apparently. My shares were supposed to be silent . . ." Blair trailed off as Chuck lifted a hand.

"Can I read the letter that my father wrote you?" Chuck asked knowing that Blair would have come with it in hand. She was always prepared.

Blair immediately pulled the letter from the stack of briefs in front of her and handed it to him; watching as he read it. She couldn't help but mention one last thing. "I swear I didn't know about this before the letter." That was something she needed to make sure that Chuck understood or else he would think that she and his father had been conspiring against him all along.

Chuck read the letter carefully, making certain he absorbed it properly.

_Blair_

_I'm sorry for this intrusion, you must think that this is strange but I wanted to tell you a few things. First of all, I wanted to say how glad I am that you are a part of my son's life. I don't know that he deserved you when you became involved but I know that you have turned him into the kind of man that does. So thank you. Now I have something serious I must address. I assume by now that you have encountered my brother Jack Bass. My little brother is dangerous Blair. I can't tell this to Chuck because he has always liked Jack better than he did me and he would think it was jealousy. Jack can't be trusted and you have to protect Chuck and yourself from him. The reason I say yourself is because of what else I have to say. I'm sorry for laying this on you without even speaking to you about it but I hoped that this would never be necessary. As you know my board holds 20% of the company and Lily holds 21%. It is my wish that everyone is under the belief that Chuck holds the other 59%. Which is easily controlling interest. This however is not the case. Chuck actually only holds 30% of the company the other 29% is in your name. The only people who are aware of this are me, my lawyer, and now you. This would still leave Chuck as CEO as he holds the most shares but no one possesses controlling interest. I didn't do this because I don't trust Chuck. I did this to safeguard the company. You have the right to do whatever you want with these shares and if one day it becomes safe and you would like to give them to my son, then that is your decision. This had to be done just in case my brother was to somehow manage to get a hold of Chuck's shares. Then all it would take was you and Lily to stop him. I'm trusting you Blair and I hope that you are worthy of this trust. Take care of my son._

_Thank you for everything that you have done and everything you are sure to do in the future for my family, _

_Bartholomew Bass_

Chuck exhaled as he read the letter over a second time. This wasn't a betrayal by either of them. His father had simply been trying to protect the company from Jack. Which was something that Blair had somehow managed to do. Finally he looked up at her, noticing that she was practically shaking. He was nearby and walked closer in order to wrap his arms around her. "It's okay." He whispered. "I don't hate you, not even close. You were just protecting me, protecting the company."

Blair sighed in relief; Chuck actually understood what she had done. For once she hadn't irreparably screwed things up. "I'm so glad you realize that." She said quietly as she held Chuck tightly.

"Of course I get it Blair. The letter clearly explains everything. Now that we're in the clear from Jack, you can just sign the shares back over to me, I'll vote for the merger and we can go home." Chuck said with a smile on his face. Somehow what should have been the worst day in his life was turning out to be the best.

Blair pulled back quickly. "I can't do that Chuck." She said her voice cautious.

Chuck looked at her strangely. "Why the hell not?" He said half laughing, she had to be joking. There was no way that Blair was expecting him to be okay with her running his father's legacy in his place.

"The merger isn't right for the company Chuck and as we have established, the company is something that I'm supposed to be protecting. I can't let you vote yes." She didn't want to burst Chuck's happy bubble. Certainly she wanted to give him back the company eventually but he wasn't ready yet; he wasn't even close to prepared for this. But she knew that they were already on shaky ground from what happened with Jack over New Years and Chuck's little deal.

Chuck's arms on her felt suddenly tense and rigid as they both disentangled themselves in fear of what the other might be about to say or do. The tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Chuck was the one who dared to break it. "I can't believe you would do this. This is _my_ company Blair."

"I know." She replied immediately. "And that's why I have to do this. You're going to want to have a company to run a year from now and if you vote yes on this merger you're not going to."

Chuck shook his head. "So tell me that; then trust me to make the right decision. I need you to believe in me right now Blair."

"That's not fair Chuck. I'm just looking out for you." Blair said shaking her head. She had known that Chuck was not going to be happy with her. "Besides did you ever think that sometimes I might need you to believe in me? Believe that I know what I'm doing. Bart trusted me for a reason."

_**I was missing you,  
You were miles away,  
He was close to me,  
I let him stay,**_

"Don't even start some kind of discussion like that Blair. You and I both know that I believe in you. But what I understand about all of this is that for some reason you don't want to give up the company. Is it Jack?" He asked swiftly. Perhaps Blair's feelings for him were stronger than he had anticipated. Jack still didn't look angry at

Blair couldn't believe Chuck was bringing Jack into this. "Of course not." She practically spat. "Jack's got nothing to do with this. It's all about the company."

Chuck shook his head. "No it's not Blair. It's about us. You asked me a few days ago if we were done. We will be if you don't sign over the company."

_**Then I closed my eyes,  
He almost felt the same,  
But when the morning broke I cried out your name,**_

"You're really giving me an ultimatum?" Blair said shaking her head. She didn't know what to do. She had sworn to protect the company and if she gave Chuck the company in his current state he would drive it into the ground. She was going to have to make the same choice that she had been making for the past few months; protecting Chuck was more important than having him as her boyfriend.

"I can forgive you for lying to me and I can forgive you for sleeping with Jack, but this isn't something I can forgive you for." Chuck said tersely." I can't just ignore the fact that you're CEO of my father's company."

_**If I'd only known,  
It would break us,  
I'd have done anything just to save us**_

Blair bit her lip angrily. "You haven't forgiven me at all or you wouldn't be bringing that up. We're never getting past this are we? I can't give you the shares just to prove my loyalty Chuck."

"Why not?" Chuck snapped. He didn't understand what Blair was thinking.

Blair ran a hand through her hair. "Because I'd be starting a trend of making up for everything the rest of our lives. Besides this is too big of a decision to just hastily make."

_**Coz you're all I have,  
When the world comes down on me,  
You're the one I love,  
And I'm begging you to see,**_

Chuck spotted a notebook on the table and slung it across the room. "God damn it Blair, this shouldn't even be a decision for you. It's my company."

Blair couldn't help but become angrier at his statement. How dare he after what he had just done _trading_ her to Jack. "Yeah a company that you think is worth more than me. Clearly the company is your priority. You're the most important thing to me; I'm just trying to keep the thing you value the most safe." She knew that she sounded spiteful but she seemed not to have any control over that fact.

_**You're all, you're all, you're all I have,  
You are, you are the one I love  
You are, you are, you're all I have**_

"That's different and you know it." Chuck said glaringly. "The company is my legacy, my father trusted me with it."

Blair knew that she would regret the next words out of her mouth before she even said them. "Now that's not entirely true is it?" She knew that she shouldn't have gone there but Chuck was being impossible. How could he not see everything that she had done for him; everything that she had given up for him?

_**You've forgiven me,  
But it doesn't change,  
The guilt I feel when you mention his name,**_

Chuck was knocked off guard by her comment. He knew that Blair always played balls out but he never expected her to go there; not when it came to him. He knew that the pain he felt at her words was written all over his face by her response; Blair Waldorf never felt remorse so quickly.

"Chuck I'm so sorry, I didn't really meant to say that. It isn't tru . . ." Blair began, trying her best to back track. She hadn't been thinking at all or she wouldn't have said something so callous. However Chuck stopped her from going any further.

Chuck wasn't about to let Blair apologize for what she had just said. Of all the things spoken today, that had been true. "Don't even bother saying that Blair. We both know that it is true. My father left half of the company to you. If anything is true, that is. So don't choose _that_ to apologize for."

_**No more innocence,  
How to trust again,  
Wanna believe that you won't do the same,**_

Blair ran a hand through her hair frustrated. "Well I refuse to apologize for anything else, other than the fact that I kept the fact that I held shares hidden from you. I don't want to lose you Chuck."

Chuck brushed a piece of hair out of her face. Their arguing had gone from fireworks to calm within seconds. It was as though they were both tired. They knew each other's opinion and it seemed as though they knew that neither one of them had any intention of budging. "I don't want to lose you either. You're all I have Blair."

"I know." She replied softly. She didn't want to do this but she had to.

_**And every time we fight,  
We're gettin' closer,  
I slowly die inside,  
I'm scared it's over**_

"Then don't do this. Don't make it to where we can't be together." Chuck said as his hand cupped her face. He was pleading with her, with everything that he had.

Blair shook her head softly. "You know I only kept the shares from you in hopes that you would never have to find out about them and I could have them transferred back into your name."

"Then do that now." Chuck said almost pleadingly as he took a step towards her, closing the remaining distance between them.

_**Coz you're all I have,  
When the world comes down on me,  
You're the one I love,  
And I'm begging you to see,**_

Blair rested her forehead against Chuck's. "I'm sorry that I can't give you what you think you want." With that she placed a quick kiss on his lips and turned to leave.

As Blair's hand touched the door, Chuck spoke. "If you do this, I'm never going to forgive you."

Blair didn't even turn around. "If I don't, I'll never forgive myself." Then she opened the door and left him in the dark.

_**You're all, you're all, you're all I have,  
You are, you are the one I love  
You are, you are, you're all I have**_

"Well done, Blair." Jack said as Blair shut the door to the spare board room. He might not have been inside the room with them, he actually wasn't even ease dropping; but he knew exactly what had just occurred. She loved Chuck too much to let him throw away his company and that's what signing over her shares would be doing.

"Shut up Jack." Blair spat as she began to walk towards the board room. She was surprised that she wasn't crying. She simply felt cold on the inside as though she couldn't feel anymore. She looked down at her briefs, making sure everything was in order before she went back into the board room. Blair was well aware of the fact that she needed to be impressive today.

Jack smirked and stood up, effectively blocking her path. Blair looked like a cold, calculating, bitch and he loved it. "So I know it's been a rough day. I was thinking after this we could go grab lunch at Fred's." He knew the age old restaurant in Barney's was the best chance he had at getting Blair to agree to a lunch date.

Blair immediately narrowed her eyes. "Are you serious Jack?" When he didn't say anything, Blair shook her head. "After the stunt you pulled today bringing Chuck here, not to mention the fact that you orchestrated this entire operation, you're the last person I want to have lunch with."

Jack reached out and brushed his hand along her jaw, noticing that she neither pulled away nor jerked. "Come on Blair, you can't be mad at me for that. I told you that I was willing to do whatever it takes to win you over. Plus you ended up with the company in the end, so really you should be thanking me."

"I thought you'd be mad at me for that." Blair said, rolling her eyes. Seriously, she had expected Jack to be furious with her but instead he seemed to be filled with admiration. However, she couldn't deny the tingles up and down her spine as his hand grazed her jaw.

"You outsmarted me Blair. It only heightened my respect for you." Jack said as his hand came to rest, cupping her face. "And now that things are finally over between you and Chuck I think we should give us a shot."

At that Blair jerked away. "You just don't get it do you." When Jack looked at her with moderate confusion, Blair continued while taking a step backwards. "Chuck's not the reason we're not together Jack . . . you are."

Jack shook his head disbelievingly. "You don't mean that Blair, we both know that we have incredible sexual chemistry and you trust me more than you trust anyone else."

Blair was shocked and immediately issued a loud contradiction to Jack's statement. "I trust you, you think I trust you? You've got to be kidding me. We may have sexual chemistry to rival that of Adam and Eve but I trust Georgina Sparks more than I trust you."

"Isn't Georgina the one that made the Serena sex tape?" Jack asked before shaking his head. "That's not the point anyway. You might not like to admit it Blair but you most certainly do trust me. Why else would you turn to me, every time something in your life goes wrong?"

Blair sighed. Her feelings for Jack were something that she had trouble understanding, explaining them was nearly impossible. "Being with you makes me feel good. You take care of me when I'm broken and I'm drawn to you. But I could never trust you."

Jack felt waves of sadness and disappointment washing through him. He thought that if he had Chuck out of Blair's life for good, they would have a shot but she appeared set in staying away from him. "Isn't the rest of that enough?"

"No Jack, it's not." Blair said shaking her head. She was surprised at the feelings of sadness that she felt but she knew that what she was saying was the truth. When Jack said nothing more she turned to walk into the board room, but Jack reached out and grabbed her hand.

"I love you." He said softly.

Blair turned her head slightly so that she was looking at the wall as opposed to him or the door. "I know." She said, acknowledging for the first time that his feelings for her were real.

He squeezed her hand lightly. "I'm going to prove to you that you can trust me if it's the last thing I do."

Blair shook her head and continued into the board room with Jack close behind. Neither was aware that Chuck had caught the entire scene through a slight opening in the doorway. As Chuck watched them disappear into the board room, he did his best not to run after them and beat the shit out of Jack. When had the two of them become so close that he was no more than an afterthought? What did he care anyway? The two of them deserved each other.

**Well, UES it seems like Bass Industries has received quite the shock this morning as a new CEO was named. Any guesses? I'll give you a hint, their last name isn't Bass, which eliminates all the major contenders doesn't it? Turns out it's none other than our very own Queen B. Seems as though Bart Bass left B 29 shares, and J gave her 29 as well. Not even I saw this one coming. My congratulations to B for managing to keep it a secret; however I hear condolences are probably in order as well, as C is back on the market. Maybe Uncle J can cheer her up. This brings a whole new meaning to sleeping your way to the top. **

**xoxo**

**gossip girl**

**

* * *

A/N: SO I hope you all enjoyed this incredible long and intense update! I love you guys so much. Thanks for bearing with me through midterms. The song is All I Have by the Veronicas**

**Loved it, hated it, want to see more of a certain character? Click the green button and review. I love hearing from you guys.**

**xoxo**

**kate**


	27. The Day the World Fell Apart

**A/N: Yes I know that it has been forever. Unfortunately my life doesn't allow for frequent updates as of late but I'll update when I can. A couple notes, Blair never got kicked out of Yale in this fanfic because the mess with Ms. Carr never happened. Also I would add that time is passing throughout this chapter, something that I note in the scene changes, a total of two weeks goes by. I was going for a montage kind of feel but I'm not quite sure that's how it came out. ****I will probably close the poll on my profile next week and so far I've been surprised by the number of you that ship each couple. It has actually been something that has affected my story writing so if you haven't voted yet have at it :)**

**ETA: One last thing: **I have already recieved a couple of reviews about disliking this chapter/the way my story is going from reviewers who don't normally review. This story is on the favorite list of 53 people and 107 of you have it on alert; however I average about 10 reviews a chapter. Most people will tell you a review takes less than a minute to write. So for the 43/97 of you who choose to not spend that minute telling me what you think you have to understand that not only am I not willing to spend hours writing a chapter that fits your tastes I am literally unable to do so since I have no idea how you think or feel about this story. This isn't me asking for reviews or saying that I'm angry at anyone for what they've said in a review. I'm only saying that if you want me to consider your opinion, I have to actually know your opinion. That being said, I really do hope you enjoy this chapter and if you don't feel free to let me know.

My Reviewers: **CarolinaGirl21, BrittyKay247, chelle2911, MsArchuletaSalvatoreCullen1, Cascia, Noirreigne, and annablake **you guys are all totally amazing. I love you so much! And a special thanks to **AlishaSalvatoreHarrington** for the motivational message.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: T once more :)**

* * *

Blair smiled as she stepped out of the board room. That had gone well, so well that she couldn't keep from smiling even in the current situation. Several members of the board walked up and shook her hand only one of whom seemed completely put off by her. On a board of twelve one enemy wasn't bad.

"Well you certainly surprised me in there Ms. Waldorf." Mr. Fleming said as he walked out of the board room.

Blair turned towards him giving him a small but serious smile. "I'm sorry for the theatrics sir; Jack and Chuck were each a little out of control."

Mr. Fleming nodded. "You handled it well and you somehow managed to impress me. Not only were you aware of the many facets of the deal at hand, you conducted everything splendidly."

"Thank you." She replied truly humbled. Mr. Fleming was nearly impossible to impress; that she had done so told her that she had indeed done well by Bart even if Chuck wasn't currently speaking to her.

Fleming shook his head slightly. "I can't believe I'm saying this but of the options you might just have been the best choice for CEO. You realize that this is going to be a lot of work, correct?"

Blair nodded immediately. "Of course. You don't need to worry, Bass Industries is in good hands and your confidence in me is greatly appreciated."

"I would like to meet with you and discuss some of what your position will entail if you have time. Perhaps over lunch?" He asked graciously.

Blair winced. As much as she knew she needed to get to know the ins and outs of Bass she needed to get back to school. She had been absent more these past two weeks than she had been present. But the offer was still tempting. She didn't want to need Jack's advice on anything so if she was going to do this right, she needed to know the company and that could be so easily accomplished with meeting with the chairman of the board. Just as Blair was about to decline the chairman's offer Jack stepped next to her and placed a hand on her lower back.

"I don't mind showing you the ropes myself Blair." Jack spoke as he entered her conversation.

Mr. Fleming looked between Jack and Blair for a moment before taking a step backwards, it was clear that the two of them needed to have a discussion. "Miss. Waldorf, I'll leave the two of you alone. If you would like to take me up on my lunch offer, you'll find me in my office." He spoke before turning and heading down the hallway.

As soon as Mr. Fleming was gone, Blair turned to Jack. "What are you doing?" She asked slightly exasperated. She didn't know what else to say to make Jack leave her alone and the simple act of asking him to do so seemed to be getting harder by the minute.

Jack smiled slightly. "I'm just trying to help you Blair. You and I both know that you know very little about Bass Industries past today's agenda. You need someone to teach you all the ins and outs of the company; you need me. There's so much I want to show you." He added with a hint of excitement and wonder to his voice.

Blair could hardly believe it. Chuck wasn't speaking to her because she wouldn't give him the company that he had lost; yet Jack seemed_ excited _at the prospect of teaching her about the company that she stole right from under his nose. "Why are you offering to help me?" She finally asked. "Is this just another of your attempts to get close to me or are you trying to make me fail so that you can finagle the company away?" For once Blair was truly puzzled. She might actually believe that Jack loved her in his own twisted way but she seriously didn't understand his motivation.

Jack couldn't help a small laugh before reaching out and brushing a strand of hair out of Blair's face. "I always want to be around you Blair but I'm offering you help because I love you and I want to be there for you. Surely you know that by now." Jack looked at the skeptical expression on her face for a moment before speaking again. "I told you before that I'm not mad at you, I'm impressed. So just let me help you."

Blair clearly remembered Jack's heartfelt plea for her affections before the board meeting, she simply couldn't believe that it was true. One thing that she knew was the truth was that she always called him when she needed someone to be there for her. Right now she really wanted to lean on him, the temptation was so strong. She needed someone to teach her about Bass Industries almost as much as she needed someone to comfort her over the abysmal state of her relationship with Chuck; but she couldn't let the person she leaned on be Jack. It wasn't good for her to be involved with him, not to mention that it wasn't fair to Jack to make him think that there was a chance for them when there wasn't. So she shook her head slightly. "No Jack I can't do that. I'd be using you."

"It's just the company Blair; that's not really using me." Jack said with a slight smirk.

This time when Blair shook her head it was more pronounced. "It's not that Jack. I just can't keep relying on you every time I need someone. I'm using you." She was trying to explain her meaning without being too blatant but she wasn't sure it was working until she saw Jack's smirk widen into a smile.

At that Blair couldn't help but smile. "Not complaining Blair." He didn't care if Blair felt the same way he did or not. He just wanted to be near her; he didn't mind being used by her. He wanted to comfort her, take care of her, make sure that she was happy; no matter the cost to himself.

"That's not fair to you Jack and one day . . . one day you're going to want more. And I'm never going to reciprocate." Blair said almost sadly because quite honestly it was one of the most difficult things that she had done that day and that was saying a lot.

Jack shook his head. "Blair . . ."

This time it was Blair who placed a hand on Jack's cheek, surprising even him. "Don't argue Jack; you're not changing my mind. I'm going to go have lunch with Mr. Fleming."

As Blair started to walk away Jack called after her. "Not today."

"What?" Blair asked inquisitively as she turned back towards Jack. Was he telling her that she wasn't having lunch with Mr. Fleming?

Jack smiled. "I'm not changing your mind . . . today."

Blair couldn't help but smile as well. "Goodbye Jack." She said as she turned and walked to Mr. Fleming's office. Jack was going to be difficult to dissuade, she could tell. Her only hope was that he would get bored and move on because Chuck was the only guy she wanted right now and being with Jack would only further put that at jeopardy.

* * *

Lily walked into the apartment not paying much attention to her surroundings. These past few days had blurred together. Serena had been away with Poppy again, Eric was actually paying a visit to Aunt Carol in Miami, Blair hadn't approached her once about her new position and the only time she had seen her had been at the office, and Chuck had been completely off the radar. She was pondering this as she heard a voice.

"Afternoon Lily." Chuck spoke as Lily began to delve around in the kitchen.

Lily jumped at the sound of Chuck's voice, placing a hand over her heart. "Charles you scared me. What are you doing here?" She asked as she turned to see Chuck sitting on the coach watching her intently.

Chuck placed his hands on his knees and stood. "Jack. I want revenge against Jack." Chuck spoke as he began to walk towards the kitchen counter. It had been three days since the board meeting and he had run into Jack at least twice a day at the Palace; once because Jack had stopped by with a bottle of scotch for drinks.

Understanding washed through Lily immediately. Of course that's what Chuck wanted. Lily was only slightly surprised that Blair hadn't been mentioned as well since she had made what Chuck likely saw as the worst betrayal of all. He trusted her. "Charles, I'm not sure there's anything I can do to help. Besides Jack isn't the one running the company anymore why don't you just let the past stay in the past?"

When Chuck spoke again he did so tersely. "Lily, you don't understand. Jack has destroyed my life. He's taken everything and I can't even get away from him. If he and Blair start gallivanting around the Palace together I'm not going to be able to handle it." He had lost Blair; it was something that he was coming to accept but once she and Jack were together he knew that it would tear him to shreds to see her with him. God damn it he still loved her so much.

Lily shook her head slightly. "I really don't think you need to worry about Blair and Jack, she is scared of him." Of all things, Lily knew about Blair, it was the girl's feelings towards Jack that she was most certain of; she had seen them first hand.

This time it was Chuck who shook his head. "She's scared of how he makes her feel." When Lily started to speak he turned his head and looked away. "I've seen it in her eyes. It's been growing steadily, I saw it in the board room, I saw it when she and I were ending things, and I saw it as I watched her turn Jack away. Blair has feelings for Jack and they're strong." It was something that was difficult for Chuck to admit. He didn't want to confess that he had allowed something real to form between Jack and Blair but of this he was certain.

Lily's eyes widened. Was that possible? Could Blair have truly developed feelings for Jack throughout this mess? It couldn't be possible, she hated him. "But you said she turned him away. She loves you Chuck, you're the one she wants."

Chuck looked back to Lily. "Blair and I can't be together. We've reached an impasse, we are both intractable on our stance and I don't foresee that ever changing. No matter how much we might love each other, too much has come between us. And I don't expect Blair to resist Jack for long." He knew he was right, as much as he abhorred the thought, he knew that all Blair really wanted was to be loved unconditionally and it appeared that Jack was more than willing to do that. Pair that with her growing feelings for him and she wouldn't hold out much longer.

Lily could hardly believe the words Chuck was speaking. After everything that they had made it through to give up now seemed ridiculous but she could tell that Chuck was serious. "So what is it that you want from me Charles?"

"I don't know. But I have to do something; he can get to me like no one can get to me both physically and mentally. He knows just the buttons to push and the front desk gave him a key to my room because he's my 'guardian.'" Chuck said with emphasis on the last word. There had to be something that could be done to stop this nonsense; to keep Jack away.

Immediately, Lily turned her full attention to Chuck. She had remembered something that just might be what Chuck was looking for, even if he didn't know it. "I have an idea. It may not be exactly what you are looking for but it will solve some of your problems."

Chuck made direct eye contact. "You have my attention."

Lily gave him a small smile and motioned. "Then follow me." She led him up the stairs into what used to be his father's office and walked over to the safe, knowing that Chuck had to be confused. She typed in the combination, realizing that she hadn't changed it after Bart's death; it was still Chuck's mother's birthday. Lily reached inside and pulled out a file, one that she had almost forgotten existed. She opened it and handed it to Chuck.

Chuck was silent as he accepted the file from Lily and started to look it over, hardly believing what he was reading. He was unable to form a response for what must have been minutes. This was something he had never expected; not that he had known what to expect but this was out of the ball park. But it just might work. "You want to adopt me?" Chuck finally spoke.

Lily smiled slightly. "Yes Charles, I want to adopt you. Before the accident, your father was going to adopt Serena and Eric and I was going to adopt you. I hadn't signed the papers yet but he had." Chuck narrowed his eyes slightly as though he was thinking very intensely; so Lily continued. "This would mean that I would be your legal guardian, Jack wouldn't be able to do anything to you. As for getting away from the Palace, that's simple, move in here."

Chuck looked at Lily curiously for the longest time before giving a small nod of his head. "Okay."

* * *

Blair shook her head and sighed trying to shake the strange nervousness that had overcome her. This was just Constance and after today she wasn't going to be here anymore. So why should she care what anyone said. The whispers meant nothing, the stares meant nothing. This wasn't her life anymore. She had been right to worry that when all was said and done with the Bass family she wouldn't be a part of the Upper East Side world anymore. With that though she walked through the metal gates, noticing that the ivy was starting to grow again after being cut back this winter.

"B you're here!" Serena shouted excitedly across the courtyard as she raced towards Blair. It had been over a week since she had seen her best friend. Serena had been in Milan with Poppy when the board room fiasco had gone down. She returned to find that Blair and Chuck weren't speaking to each other and Blair was the CEO of Bass Industries. More surprisingly than either of those particularly peculiar events was the fact that Blair had yet to put in an appearance at school the entire time. "I need the dish asap. I feel so behind on the goings on with you, what happened with Chuck? Nate told me you two weren't even on speaking terms and my mom told me about Bass, and you haven't been answering my calls. And well, I'm just so glad you're back." Serena babbled on as she fired off questions to her best friend.

Blair gave her best friend a small smile; she had missed the ever light and carefree Serena. "Actually, I won't be back for long. Today's my last day at Constance."

_**If anyone asks,  
I'll tell them we both just moved on**_

"What?!?" Serena practically shrieked. "You can't just drop out Blair! What about Yale?"

"I'm not dropping out S." Blair almost laughed as her friend proved that she was a natural blonde. "I'm actually here to finalize my arrangement with Headmistress Queller. I'm going to be finishing the semester on an independent study. Basically, I won't be going to class. I'll be submitting all of my work electronically. The only time I'll come in is for exams at the end of the semester." Blair wasn't exactly happy about the arrangement; she was one of the few kids growing up who actually liked school; but she didn't really have an option. Mr. Fleming had called to her attention the fact that being the CEO of a major corporation was not an after school job. She had tried to juggle both for the first few days but it just hadn't worked out. So this was the only option.

Serena's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh B, I am so not okay with this." When Blair only shrugged in response, Serena continued. "And what about Chuck?"

At the mention of Chuck she shook her head slightly. She didn't allow herself to think about Chuck; there was no point. She and Chuck were never going to be together again. Their relationship had run into a wall based on their own personal fundamental understandings of a particular situation; one that was never going to change. "Chuck and I are done, for good this time."

"B!" Serena spoke wide eyed. "How can you say that after how long the two of you fought to get to be together?"

Blair shook her head sadly. She wasn't going to let this make her sad and she certainly wasn't going to cry, no matter how much her eyes stung right now from the tears she had been holding back ever since that day in the board room. "We've both just moved on S. Neither one of us can give the other what they need, or maybe it's what we want. Either way it doesn't matter, it's irreconcilable differences."

_**When people all stare  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk**_

Serena reached out and took her best friend's hand. Blair might be trying to act strong but she knew her well enough to know that this had to be killing Blair inside. "Let me walk with you to Queller's office." Serena spoke softly.

"Okay." Blair said with a small smile. They walked up the steps of Constance and into the office area, just before Blair was going to venture into Queller's office Chuck and Nate walked around the corner. It was the first time that she had seen him since the board room meeting and the rush of air that exited her lungs surprised her. Wave after wave of emotion started to crash down around her as their gazes locked.

No one said anything, even Serena stood silently behind Blair and Nate the same beside Chuck. Yet everyone seemed to be frozen in place. Blair opened her mouth to speak but wasn't sure what to say. Finally, she managed to croak out one word. "Chuck."

Chuck simply shook his head, her voice breaking the spell that he had seemed to be under. And with that he turned and walked away with Nate hot on his heels.

"B." Serena said empathetically as she squeezed her friend's hand.

Blair simply shook her head lightly and put a smile on her face. "S, don't worry I'm fine. We had to run into each other eventually right? Might as well get it over with now, right?" With that she walked quickly into Queller's office.

_**Whenever I see you,  
I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue**_

"Chuck man, what was that?" Nate asked pulling Chuck to the side of the hallway as people hurried off to class. Nate had realized about five minutes ago that he was completely out of the loop.

Chuck looked at Nate, a perfect mask on his face. "I don't have the pleasure of knowing what you're talking about Nathaniel."

Nate raised his eyebrows. "You, Blair, super awkward non conversation in the hallway back there. That's what I'm talking about." Chuck wasn't telling him something, since when did he and Blair hate each other?

"Nathaniel, Blair and I broke up almost two weeks ago. That was her not appropriately letting go." Chuck said matter-of-factly.

Nate had heard from Gossip Girl but since neither friend had substantiated the claim he had assumed it was incorrect. Now Chuck was standing in front of him acting like Blair was just some girl that he had fucked and ditched. "Chuck I know you, I know things about yours and Blair's relationship, like the fact that you love her. What changed? Is this about her lying to you about having shares of the company?"

Chuck shook his head. "No Nathaniel." This was a cut and dry matter. No feeling, no emotion, he and Blair were simply over. "She and I grew apart. There are things between us that we can't fix and it pushed us away."

_**Pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong**_

Nate slammed his hand against a locker. "Bullshit." Even he was surprised at his outburst.

Chuck's head snapped to face him. "What?"

This time Nate lowered his voice. "I said, that's bullshit. You and Blair aren't just any couple, or maybe you are, maybe what I mean is that she isn't just any girl to you, she's the girl and you are being a damn idiot if you think that you are over her."

Chuck rolled his eyes. "You don't think I'm over Blair?" When Nate nodded, Chuck smirked pushing off of the wall. "Then watch that." With that he walked over to a group of girls who giggled at his presence. "Hello ladies." He said seductively as he cornered the one who seemed the most interested. Her eyes were wide and he knew he had her. Within a minute he had her pinned against the wall and they were making out feverishly. After a few moments he turned and walked away, back towards Nate who had yet to move. "Still think I'm not over Blair?"

Nate just shook his head. "Now more than ever." With that he turned in the opposite direction and walked to class.

Chuck remained standing there thinking about Nate's words. Why would Nate get the impression that Chuck making out with another girl meant that he wasn't over Blair? That was simply preposterous; wasn't it? As he stood there looking around the now deserted hallway. Nate's words had hit too close to home and now Chuck couldn't deny the stirring of his emotions; emotions that he had been suppressing for more than a week. He knew that if he let himself really think about what he was doing, there was no way that he would let himself end things with Blair. Damn it he missed her but that didn't change anything. What he had said before was true, they couldn't be together.

_**Is it over yet?**_

_**Can I open my eyes?**_

Blair laid her head against the office desk. These briefs were killing her, her mind was swirling, her head was pounding, and her stomach was grumbling. She didn't even have time to take a lunch break, she was so far behind on everything. Who was she kidding thinking that she could run Bass Industries, she didn't know the first thing about running a company. At least now she didn't have to worry about going school, she had taken care of that this morning. She had hoped that if she only had more time she would start to figure things out but it was so overwhelming.

She groaned and her eyes began to blur as she looked over the piece of paper in front of her, the figures dancing on the page. She saw them but she didn't have the context for which to place them. The whole business was infuriating and she was so hungry that she couldn't begin to focus. And seeing Chuck today had thrown her off of her game. She was feeling all of the emotions that she had been attempting not to feel and all she wanted was for those feelings to stop, to be over. She didn't think that she could handle them any longer. She had never felt this way before. Blair ran a hand through her hair and looked up to see Jack in the doorway. "How long have you been standing there?" She asked exasperated.

_**Is this as hard as it gets?**_

_**Is this what it feels like to really cry?**_

Jack shrugged. "A couple of minutes." He brought a takeout bag from behind his back. "I brought you some lunch; the secretary said you hadn't left the office all day so I thought you could use some."

"I'm not hungry." Blair said, immediately followed by a loud grumbling from her stomach.

Jack smirked. "Your stomach seems to disagree. Come on, it's from Baby Moon Café, I know that's your new favorite." Jack knew he was winning her over, he could tell by the look on her face.

Blair bit her lip, she didn't want to accept any help from Jack but he was right, she was starving and she did love Baby Moon. "Fine." She said caving.

Jack sat down across from her and gave her a small smile. Blair looked so stressed out and so much older than her eighteen years; but at the same time the atmosphere looked and felt right for her. He pulled the two sandwiches from the bag, placing one on her side and the other on his.

Blair couldn't help the way that she unwrapped the sandwich, knowing that it was unladylike, she just couldn't hold back she was ravenous. After a few bites she looked at Jack in surprise. Knowing she didn't need to say what she was thinking, she simply shook her head. Jack had gotten her very favorite sandwich from the café.

Jack smiled in response to Blair's look of surprise. He knew that she would eventually realize what the sandwich was but it wasn't a big deal. Blair was still going through a lot, that he knew. So he started a conversation that would hopefully take her mind off things about Chuck. "What did you think of the first quarter returns that came in this morning." Jack couldn't help but smile as Blair launched into a spill about the Newman deal that had just gone through and how much the acquiring of the buildings on 81st was going to shoot up the stock. He was impressed. Even though her talent for the business was still completely raw she had an undeniable instinct about it all. There were few times the entire lunch that he had to interject or correct her.

_**If anyone asks,  
I'll tell them we just grew apart**_

Blair sighed as she began to run out of steam. It was so strange that eating lunch with Jack had felt like the most normal thing that she had done all day; everything else had felt like a dream, but this, this felt real. How was this possible? How had lunch with Jack become her normal while she wasn't even on speaking terms with Chuck?

Jack could tell that Blair was really exhausted and he reached out to brush a piece of hair behind her ear without even thinking. "God you're beautiful."

"Jack." She spoke warningly as she pulled away. After a moment of simply sitting there, neither moving nor saying a word she spoke again. "You should go."

Jack knew that the look on his face was less than ideal. "Blair, don't do this. Don't push me away." All he wanted to do was be with her, be there for her, but she wouldn't let him close enough to really try.

Blair rolled her chair away from the desk. "Jack, I can't do this, I won't. I'm still in love with Chuck and I won't be with you. I will never be with you." She added on the last statement but she had to break eye contact to do it. As much as she would like to be able to swear that she would never be with Jack, it wasn't something that she could promise herself.

Jack nodded his head slightly before standing up and walking out of the room. One day she would get over Chuck and he was still going to be here waiting for her just like he had promised so long ago.

Blair watched Jack leave and had to force herself not to break down for the second time that day. Was this ever going to get any easier or was she always going to feel like it was the end of the world

_**Yeah what do I care  
If they believe me or not**_

Chuck approached Nate immediately after school. "Nathaniel my man, have you seen Blair?" He asked immediately. Chuck couldn't help doing what he did today. Since the moment in the hall when he had sworn to Nate that he was over Blair he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. He didn't want to be with her; he couldn't be with her. But he did want to see her, if only to check up on her and make sure that she was alright. It was almost a morbid curiosity. So he had shown up outside of all of her classes all day and hadn't seen her once. The only thing that he could think was that she had been purposefully avoiding him.

Nate looked at Chuck curiously. This day seemed to be getting weirder by the second. First there was Chuck's abject denial of the fact that he was still caught up on Blair, now there was his ignorance about the newest gossip where she was concerned. "Have you not read Gossip Girl today?" Nate asked after a brief pause.

Chuck scoffed. "I can't stand that site. Every time something in my life has gone wrong at least one finger points to Gossip Girl and her role in it." It was true, he hadn't read Gossip Girl in almost a week; especially after Jack used the website to stalk Blair he found the whole thing rather creepy.

Nate pulled out his phone and handed it to Chuck almost hesitantly. "Then you should probably read this."

_**Whenever I feel  
Your memory is breaking my heart**_

Chuck took the phone, immediately noting Nate's sluggish resistance. He was clearly afraid of Chuck's reaction to the Gossip Girl blast. Chuck's eyes flew over the blast within seconds.

**Attention UES we have a job opening. Wanted: beautiful bitchy high school girl who thinks she has what it takes to be the Queen of the Upper East Side. Yes you've heard me right kiddies, our very own Queen B, Blair Waldorf has officially traded in her crown for the keys to the boardroom. Sources say she is finishing off Constance on independent study so that she is free to focus on Bass Industries. Good luck B, the pool of sharks just got a lot bigger. As for everyone else, if you've think you've got what it takes to fill Blair's just released Marc Jacobs pumps be my guest by I'm warning you you've got some big shoes to fill. **

**xoxo**

**gossipgirl**

Chuck looked up at Nate stunned. "Blair's done with Constance?"

Nate nodded. "I corroborated the story with Serena in Biology; Blair's definitely done at Constance. She's not coming back except for exams and graduation."

When this new information began to penetrate Chuck's mind he couldn't stop from feeling. Feeling the pain, feeling the sadness, feeling the anger, all because he had lost Blair, for good. That's when it hit him that somewhere inside he had thought that he and Blair were going to eventually work things out. That enough days would pass that he would be over his wounded ego and she would consider maybe running the company with him. But now if she wasn't going to be finishing out the year at Constance, he would have no reason to see her on a daily basis, no reason for them to gradually move past this mess. And this realization ripped him to shreds.

_**I'll pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong**_

Blair ran a hand through her hair as she knocked on Lily's door. It was strange, she didn't know where else to go anymore. Her mom was still in Paris, in fact her mom probably didn't even know that she was the CEO of a major corporation. Lily was the only person she could think of that might understand, that she might be able to talk to. Seeing Chuck a few days ago followed by Jack's daily visits were causing her emotions to become too much to bear and she needed help, she needed guidance, and more than that she needed someone who would listen to her.

Lily was startled to see Blair in front of her as she answered the door. "Hello Blair darling, is there something I can do for you?"

Blair nodded immediately, still trying to prevent the tears, still trying to keep up the façade. "I needed someone to talk to and this place has felt like home more than anywhere else lately."

"Oh sweetie, what is it? Is it Jack, has he done something to hurt you?" Lily said immediately letting Blair in and following her to the kitchen table. Every thought of how unexpected Blair's visit was had fled her mind.

Blair shook her head slightly. "No, it's not Jack." She noted the way her voice cracked as she said Jack's name.

Lily placed her hand on Blair's arm, quite concerned with the look of sadness in her eyes. "Then what is it darling?"

"It's just . . ." Blair paused, she didn't even know how to say what she needed to say and the tears were dangerously close to falling from her eyes. "When is it going to feel better? When am I going to stop hurting? Because it's hard, so so hard. And every day I wake up hoping that I won't feel it but I do and I just want it to be over."

Lily immediately understood. Blair was still hurting over Chuck. "I don't know." She said pulling Blair to her side in a hug. "I don't know." She repeated quietly.

_**Is it over yet?**_

_**Can I open my eyes?**_

Just as Blair was about to allow the tears to fall she saw a shape in her peripheral and pulled away from Lily. "Chuck." She spoke eyes wide.

Chuck looked from Lily to Blair twice. It was clear that Lily had been comforting Blair, he had heard that much from his room and seeing Blair so upset made him want to do everything he could to be there for her. Nate was right, he wasn't over Blair, and he never would be.

When Chuck didn't say anything Lily stepped in to explain just what was going on. After all, Chuck's residence was the reason that she had been surprised to see Blair in the first place. "I legally adopted Chuck, he's moved in here." She said softly as she turned to face Blair.

Blair couldn't explain why but she felt betrayed. It was as though Lily had chosen Chuck's side. She had just been about to bawl her eyes out and Chuck had been here the whole time. "I'm just going to go." She said to Lily before walking towards the door.

Chuck just wanted to reach out and touch her, to do anything to make her feel better because God damn it he still loved her more than anything. "Blair." He finally managed just before she reached the door.

Blair turned her head, surprised at the sound of Chuck's voice. What could he possibly have to say to her after everything?

"I'm sorry." He finally managed as he looked at her expectant face and watched it crumble. He didn't know what else to do, so he did nothing as Blair turned and left the room. He stood there listening to the echo of the door as it shut, not making a sound.

_**Is this as hard as it gets?**_

_**Is this what it feels like to really cry?**_

Lily shook her head. "You are making the wrong decision Chuck."

He turned to face Lily immediately, completely surprised by her statement. What made her think that she had the right to comment on his choices concerning Blair? "That's none of your business."

"She would do anything to be with you." Lily said softly before walking into the kitchen to get a glass of water, this had been a long day.

Chuck wanted to say something. He wanted to say that he didn't want to be with her, that he didn't forgive her, that he was mad at her, that he hated her but all of those things were more than lies, they were as untrue as anything he knew. He didn't want to be with her, he needed to be with her. He didn't forgive her because there was nothing to forgive. He wasn't mad at her, he wanted to be there for her. And most of all he didn't hate her, he loved her. He looked to Lily. "Do you know where she's going?"

_**I'm talking in circles**_

_**I'm lying, they know it**_

As soon as Blair sat down in her office chair the tears started. For the first time in more than two weeks she started crying. The pain was never going to go away. Every time she saw Chuck she felt it all over again and right now she was too tired to try to suppress it. So instead she let the heartbreak, the anger, the loss, wash over her, wave after wave. She sat there with her head in her hands feeling the tears wash down her face, coating her cheeks and covering her hands. She had never felt this way, not even last year when her life had been torn to pieces. That had all been fixable, she knew that even at the time; but this, this wasn't.

Chuck wanted nothing more to do with her unless she gave him the company. But she couldn't do that knowing that the second she did the company would be ruined and he would never forgive her for that either. And running the company, trying her best to keep it alive was draining her of any energy that she had left after working so hard to make sure no one knew just how much she was hurting inside. She had convinced herself that she had to be cold and distant that it was the only way to keep going but it was too much. All of her emotions had built up so much that she couldn't hold back anymore. She just wanted the pain to stop. Blair never even heard the door open, or the footsteps around the desk but she knew exactly who touched her when someone placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked softly as he ran a hand through Blair's messy hair. He had never once seen her so upset, so broken and all he wanted was to make her feel better.

Blair looked up at Jack through tear streaked eyes. She shook her head slowly, for the first time admitting that she really wasn't okay, she wasn't fine. Her world had been turned upside down and it was time to stop pretending that it hadn't. The pain wasn't going anywhere, it wasn't disappearing and pretending that it didn't exist wasn't helping no matter how much she wished it would.

_**Why won't this just all go away**_

Jack reached down a hand holding a tissue and she accepted it from him as she stood up. "Is there anything that I can do?" He asked even softer than before. God it killed him to see her like this. No matter his role in her relationship combusting, Chuck was an idiot for letting her go through this. It didn't matter what she did to him, he was always going to be there for her, and he would never let her feel this way because of him.

Blair could hardly believe it. No matter how mean to him she was, how many times she told him to leave her alone, he always came back, he was always there when she needed him the most; when everyone else abandoned her Jack was always there never wavering in his affection. He always seemed to know exactly what she needed when she needed it. For that reason, or at least that was the reason she told herself, she spoke again. "Can you just hold me?" She asked with a shrug as the tears started again.

Jack nodded opening his arms, which she immediately stepped into. "Of course." He felt her against him, so very fragile as she clung to his shirt and continued to cry. If it was possible for Blair Waldorf to break he was sure that this was it. He held her tightly as he ran a hand through her hair. "It's going to be okay." He whispered into her ear before placing a light kiss on her neck. "I promise, it's going to be okay." He wouldn't take it any further, he wasn't trying to prey off her vulnerability or seduce her, he just wanted to show her that he cared.

Blair pulled back slightly and looked into his eyes, her chocolate eyes searching his own blue ones. "How do you know?" She asked, knowing how childlike she sounded.

"Because I do." Jack said offering a small smile as he brushed away her tears with his thumbs. "Because I know how strong you are and I know that you can get through this."

_**Is it over yet?**_

_**Can I open my eyes?**_

Blair wasn't thinking, she couldn't have been if she wanted to because she was too drained from the flow of emotion that had been pouring from her the past few hours. This was Jack, the Jack that was always there, the Jack that loved her. In that moment that is what she saw and that's why she tilted her head upwards, standing on her tip toes to kiss him.

When Blair's lips met his he wanted to resist, he knew that he should but she was holding his shirt tightly and she was kissing him like she felt something for him so he did what he shouldn't and kissed her back. Blair kissed him with everything she had left inside of her moving her hands from their place at his chest up around his neck, tangling them in his hair. Jack followed Blair's lead as she deepened the kiss, allowing her tongue entrance to his mouth. As she became even more passionate, pushing off his jacket and running her hands under his shirt, he did the same letting his hands travel from her back to her thighs, back up to her tussled hair. Jack and Blair were so lost in the moment that neither noticed the presence in the doorway.

Chuck felt like he might vomit. Seeing Blair and Jack together after he had realized that he couldn't be without her even if that meant being without the company was worse than anything he had witnessed before. In this Blair wasn't being blackmailed, she wasn't trying to manipulate Jack, in fact it appeared as though she was the more aggressive party. The pain and anger that he had held at bay for two weeks suddenly crashed down around him, burning him up and consuming him. Two weeks ago Chuck thought the world had crashed down around him, today it really had. He had been content before to just let everyone be and go on with his life, thinking that he had gotten what he had deserved but now as he turned and exited the office he wanted revenge, on both of them.

_**Is this as hard as it gets?**_

_**Is this what it feels like to really cry?**_

When Blair reached for Jack's pants zipper he knew that this had gone on for too long and pulled back slightly. Blair looked up at him confused and he met her look with one of adoration. Jack leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You'd regret that later. How about I just take you home?" He offered.

At that Blair nodded, Jack was right and she was thankful. As much as she had wanted to be with him in that moment she knew that she was letting her emotions control her. "Okay." She said softly as she walked over to her desk and reached under for her purse without bothering to bend down. Blair realized that the search wasn't going well as she felt her hand knock something over so she got down on her hands and knees under the desk to find the purse she had brought to work today. As she did she spotted the purse she had been wearing a few weeks back on the night of the Gala, realizing that it must have been what she knocked over. She quickly started placing its contents back inside but she froze as she lifted a small rectangular box. Blair felt her breath quicken as she brought the box closer, it was the second pregnancy test, the one that she was supposed to take a week latter for accuracy's sake. She hadn't taken it and in all of the stress and drama she had failed to realize that her period had never arrived.

Quickly Blair stuck her head out from under the desk. "Why don't you go call the driver? I just remembered I need to print something off and I know the reception in here is awful."

"Okay." Jack said with a smile remembering the day that the will had been read and how he had said the same thing to Chuck. "I'll come back up when it's here."

Blair gave him a shaky smile as she watched him leave. As soon as Jack was out of the room she removed the test from the box, hastily tossing the box in the trash can under her desk before walking purposefully to the bathroom. This was no big deal, it was just a precaution. She repeated the same statement to herself as she walked into the stall and did what she knew she had to do to keep from going crazy.

_**Is this what it feels like to really cry?**_

As she stood at the sink she knew, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what the result was going to be. If she was honest with herself she had always known, from the very beginning she had felt it and when Jack had confessed that they hadn't used protection she had reacted the way she had because she had known. That's why she had reacted the way she had after the first test, her heart had known all along that it hadn't been right, that it couldn't have been right.

Blair looked down at the test, this time she wasn't looking away because there wasn't going to be a surprise she was going to look at it as the symbol appeared. She watched and she waited and when she felt like she couldn't wait any longer she saw the two lines appear; she was pregnant.

**

* * *

**

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed. The song I used was Cry by Kelly Clarkson but I thought I would tell those of you who really like the music from my fanfics that Someone Wake Me Up by the Veronicas came in a close second for which song to use. And Baby Moon is actually in Raleigh, NC but I love it :)

**Reviews are always appreciated.**

**xoxo  
****kate**


	28. Heartbreak in Manhattan

**A/N: Hey everyone. So someone suggested that I shouldn't apologize anymore for late updates since you all know that I'm busy so I am going to try that out. Just know that I update when I can. On another note, whoever you root for, have faith that your couple is going to prevail because quite honestly there are days I don't know the ending. **

**So about my message last week, that still stands. If you waited until now to start telling me how you feel then I'm sorry if you suddenly don't like where my story is BUT as I just said, nothing's final. Have faith and start reviewing and you never know how the story might turn out. Although I will say those of you who keep them civil as opposed to antagonistic are a lot more likely of getting a good response from me. As one last thing, I've re-enabled anonymous posts for those of you who don't have an account. I decided I needed to be able to stomach even things people say anonymously -- though I would prefer if you didn't spam me.  
**

Speaking of reviews: **chelle2911, TGPfuturewriter, GossipGirlFanForever, Krazy4Spike, Fiee23, odyjha, nostalgiakills, BrittyKay247, irisska, AlishaSalvatoreHarrington, annablake, chairlovforever, ggff-fan, GGfanficfan09, MsArchuletaSalvatoreCullen1, bluestriker666, CarolinaGirl21, LitPrincess2787, Sw33tHeart21, xoxo-cj, Whitney1812 and svenjen **you guys are all totally amazing. I love you so much! I see there was a HUGE spike in reviews so thank you very much for that! And a special thanks to **Noirriegne** for keeping me sane :)

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: T once more :)**

* * *

The world was rocking in front of her eyes. It was as though she had been looking at a picture upside down and it had suddenly been set right again. This explained so much. She had mistaken her exhaustion of the past few weeks for being over worked and the nausea she had blamed on the cafe next floor down. These symptoms in addition to the fact that she was feeling so bloated should have sent alarms off in her head but of course she wouldn't think she was pregnant, she hadn't even thought about her missed period.

How long had it been? She remembered last year when she was scared she was pregnant that you calculate the pregnancy week by your last period. So if the gala was two weeks ago, her last period was four weeks before that. So she was six weeks along. There was still plenty of time left to make any decisions concerning the baby even though she didn't see the status quo changing. Things with Chuck were awful and they weren't going to be getting any better any time soon; not to mention he had freaked out at the thought of her being pregnant before. So that left her with Jack; she couldn't raise a baby with him. As she had said seemingly one hundred times she still couldn't trust him. No, this was something that she was going to have to take care of herself. There were enough "accidents" among the rich and fabulous that there were discrete ways to deal with this and have no one ever find out. She would call tomorrow and make an appointment.

The decision calmed her but to make it she had had to steel herself. Her instincts, the same ones that had her doing everything she could to protect the baby the night of the gala, didn't like this decision but it had to be done. She would always do what was necessary in order to survive; that's why she always came out on top. So with her decision made and her emotions on deep freeze she walked out of the bathroom and back to her office where Jack was waiting.

"Ready to go?" Jack asked extending his hand for her and fully expecting her to take it. He had felt it earlier, that closeness with Blair and even though he had stopped them from going any further, he didn't want to take any steps backward. That's why he was surprised when she crossed her arms.

She nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. She knew what Jack wanted and after her display earlier it didn't surprise her but the decision she had just come to wouldn't have been necessary if she could trust him. So instead of giving him what he wanted she simply followed him to the car.

Jack wasn't sure what had changed with Blair, something was different, something big. Moments earlier she had jumped him yet now she didn't even want to take his hand. She couldn't be scared of him, was she scared of what she might do? He didn't comment, allowing her to simply be silent and avoid any contact with him. Even as he opened the door to the car she didn't allow him to help her in. Finally as they sat there in the car, heading towards her home he spoke. "Are you okay?" He asked concerned.

Blair didn't even turn her head towards Jack; in fact she did the opposite and stared out the window. "I'm fine." She knew that she had to answer or Jack would really ask questions, and fine was the only word that seemed to come to mind.

"Blair, it's me. You don't have to pretend right now. You know that." Jack said emphasizing her name and turning towards her, reaching for her chin to turn her head.

Blair's head, snapped to face him. "Jack, I said I'm fine." She replied, putting the same emphasis on his own name. She wasn't going to discuss this, no one was ever going to know that she was pregnant, she would get this taken care of and then she could go on with her life. There was too much on her plate already, college admissions were coming out soon and she was the CEO of a major cooperation, she didn't have time for a baby. So she was not going to add any more stress by letting Jack or Chuck find out about her current condition.

Jack knew she wasn't fine but he didn't want to push her any further. He didn't want to lose the progress that they had started to make. So he retreated and allowed her her silence. When they arrived at her house, he simply wished her a goodnight before leaving. Whatever was going on could be worked out another day, they had tomorrow.

"Goodnight Jack." She whispered after the car had already pulled away, knowing well that he couldn't hear her.

* * *

Chuck didn't like the pain that he was feeling. This all consuming pain was more than he had felt in since the death of his father and this time there was no Blair by his side to help him through it because she had moved on. She wasn't hurting in the same way he was and it wasn't fair. Why when they had seemingly ended things mutually was it so easy for her to move on to Jack while the simple thought of being with another girl made him cringe. Nate had been right, he was nowhere near over Blair and regardless of what she had done, he had wanted her back but she had moved on.

_**I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks  
No It don't break even**_

The situation was clarified to him by the display that he had witnessed; Jack wasn't going away any time soon. Jack was going to pursue Blair in every sense of the word from here on out. And Blair, Blair was going to let him. She had stayed away for two weeks after the breakup but Chuck knew in his gut that that was no longer the case. What he had told Lily had been right, she had feelings for Jack? If Blair was over him and moving on to Jack, then there was nothing more holding him back from allowing his vengeful side to take over. Jack had been long deserving and if Blair didn't care enough about him to restrain herself from giving in to Jack for longer than two weeks then she was deserving as well. She had his company under the pretense that she was protecting it out of love for him but she didn't love him if she was finding solace in Jack's arms.

_**Her best days will be some of my worst  
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first  
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
'Cause when a heart breaks  
No It don't break even**_

Chuck lay in bed that night thinking of the possibilities. Jack would be easy to destroy; in fact Chuck was starting to believe that destroying Blair would be enough to destroy Jack as well. However, if that didn't work all it would take to eliminate Jack was a few private investigators digging up something that Jack had done and turning him into the police. Hell he could get Jack put away for blackmailing if he had to; after all he had blackmailed Blair for months. Even planting something on Jack would work; his reputation wasn't clean to begin with.

_**What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay****And I'm falling to pieces  
Yeah I'm falling to pieces**_

Blair however was a different story. Her record was pristine; the worst crime she had ever committed was underage drinking. Sure the bitch was villainous but she kept below the radar and for the most part she kept it legal. There was nothing to expose and should he try to plant something illegal on her very few people would believe it, not from perfect Blair Fucking Waldorf. That was half the reason he had fallen in love with her. On the outside she appeared pure, pristine, and untouchable but he knew the sexual woman within and he had been the first to touch her.

_**They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise word's gonna stop the bleeding  
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
And when a heart breaks  
No It don't break even  
Even**_

Damn her for making him fall in love with her only to do what she did. He had forgiven her for sleeping with Jack, was about to forgive her for refusing to give him back his company, but he couldn't forgive her for going back to Jack, not again. She had been everything to him and now she had turned her back on him. Now he wanted revenge. He wanted her to feel the way he felt right now, like she had nothing. How was it fair that she would get to move on while he was left alone with no one? At the end of everything he wanted her to feel the same.

_**What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay  
And I'm falling to pieces  
Yeah I'm falling to pieces  
One's still in love while the other one's leaving  
Cause when a heart breaks It don't breakeven**_

Last year he would have launched a plan to dethrone her as Queen B but she had relinquished that crown herself to run _his_ company. She wasn't even in school anymore, so turning people against her wasn't an option . . . or was it? He could try to turn the board against her. There was a morality clause, one Blair likely didn't even know about attached to the position of CEO now that his father was dead; Mr. Donavon had told him about it after the reading of the will. Apparently, the board could vote to replace the CEO with one of a few options should the CEO be found in violation of the clause. He knew that Jack and Lily were among those options but he wasn't certain on the other names. So this plan would not only humiliate her, it would cost her the company. But how would he get Blair to violate the morality clause?

_**You've got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase I took the blame  
Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains  
'Cause you left me with no love  
With no love to my name**_

Another option was public humiliation. There was nothing Blair would hate more than to have her good name destroyed. She felt so much pride in being a Waldorf; that was her driving force. When all else in her life was wrong that's where she returned, to her roots, her name. It was old, passed down through the generations. He had always imagined that if they had married, she would keep her last name, adding his with a hyphen. The name Waldorf was everything to her, so if Chuck could make that name mean nothing than she would feel as though she had been truly ruined.

_**I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks  
No It don't break even**_

So his goals get her to violate the morality clause, lose her position as CEO, and publically humiliate her. As much experience as Chuck had in social destruction this should have been easy; but normally Blair was his accomplice not his target. The fact that the person he was after was as adept at this game as he was made everything so much more complicated. As he lay there realization finally struck him. He knew how to destroy Blair in a way that she would truly feel as badly as he did and if he played his cards right, there would be no one left to pick up the pieces.

* * *

Blair tried to focus as she walked into the office. Luckily there were no board meetings to deal with and no conference calls. There was so little going on that she probably could have stayed home and done paperwork from her house but coming to the office made things easier; it made them more normal. But things weren't really normal, they were anything but, she thought as she reached into her purse and removed the small piece of paper that she had slid inside this morning. As she looked at the numbers on the slip she couldn't help the laugh that escaped her at the irony of it all.

The women of the Upper East Side pretended that they were perfect, that they were without flaws, that nothing bad ever happened; yet reality was quite the opposite. They had more problems and flaws than anyone else they just had elaborate ways to make them go away. This was the phone number every Upper East Side mother gave her daughter when they "became a woman" in middle school. If she were ever to find herself in "trouble," a mother's euphemism for pregnant, she was to call this number and have them take care of it. Blair knew what it was, she always had. Enough of her friends had called the number and had their "problem" taken care of. It was simple really; one phone call and they would come visit her at her house to discuss the scheduling of the operation. The clinic was actually inside of a town house, no one knew where it was unless they had been there. They would pick her up and they would bring her home once it was over. It was so simple; most mothers never knew whether or not their daughter had made use of the number. It was easier that way.

So after taking a deep breath, Blair picked up the phone. As the phone rang she felt her heartbeat quicken, the wait was excruciating and all she wanted to do was get this over with. As the line picked up she spoke, making certain that her voice was filled with confidence. She was not some scared little girl; she was an adult who was taking charge of her life. "Hello, this is Blair Waldorf. I'm calling to schedule a consultation."

She paused, listening to the woman's response. She was completely on autopilot. "Yes, tomorrow at three is perfect." As she hung up she realized that she hadn't been asked for an address. It wasn't something that surprised her, this place was good enough that they would likely have the important potential clients already on file; her mother had probably registered her years ago.

As soon as she got off the phone she made another call that she had been dreading for the past couple of days. Hiro Hojimoto had been refusing to do business with Bass Industries ever since she became CEO. Apparently he was under the impression that a woman was incapable of running things properly. Normally, the loss of one client wouldn't be a big deal but Hojimoto had her bending over backwards to please him because he was easily their largest client in Asia, which happened to be the fastest growing market. Blair had been doing everything possible to avoid a trip to China but if it was necessary she would do it. She was calling to set up a video conference call for early tomorrow morning which would be late tomorrow night in China. After a quick conversation with the secretary for Hojimoto she hung up and sighed in relief. Hojimoto had agreed to the conference call; he was going to talk to her.

Even with the good news from Hojimoto, Blair knew she needed to distract herself so she dove into the new building plans in front of her. It appeared as though the building plans had already been drawn up she just needed to make a few phone calls to seal the deal. One of which needed to go to the potential leasers, this was not to be managed through Bass. She dialed the number thoughtlessly and waited for an answer. It wasn't until she heard the line pickup that she saw the company she was calling **ChildCareCorp**. Shit, shit, shit, she couldn't escape it if she tried. She quickly shuffled through the papers realizing that the plans in front of her were the ones for the state of the art child care center that they were in the process of building on the Upper East Side. It was Bass Industries latest effort to seem more family friendly and balance out Victrola in the PR sector.

'Hello, ChildCareCorp main office, how may I help you?' The voice said interrupting her reverie. Blair responded knowing it was too late to go back. "Hi, this is Blair Waldorf, CEO of Bass Industries. I spoke with Matthew Carlson last week and I'm just calling to finalize a few details before we begin construction." As soon as she finished the secretary on the other end spoke. 'I'll connect you.'

Blair went through the rest of the conversation quickly and efficiently, wanting nothing more to be off the phone. This in addition to the first call she had placed had been too much and when Mr. Carlson started discussing the extra offices they wanted to add in for family planning, adoption, and even fertility treatment, to create an all encompassing building that would handle all the needs of the Upper East Side when it came to family formation and sustainability, she almost had to hang up the phone. In fact as soon as her conversation was over she felt the all too familiar need to pay homage to the porcelain god. Only this time it wasn't optional as she ran for the bathroom, which was luckily right outside her office door.

As she cleaned up afterwards she had the realized that this was likely her private bathroom. Her first few days in the office she remembered it being distinctly more male, with cologne set up neatly next to the sink with an ordinary air freshener. Yet now there were feminine touches; a floral air freshener, her favorite perfume next to the sink, and a scented soap. Curious she checked under the sink to find a drawer that held feminine supplies, even a tooth brush and tooth paste. She assumed that the CEO often spent the night here if there were so many ways to freshen up. This would be convenient as morning sickness began to set in prior to the procedure. Just the thought of the procedure reduced her to tears again. How could she go through with this if she couldn't even hear the word baby without crying?

Making the decision to leave the bathroom and return to her office where she could bury herself in work and try to stop crying, Blair headed out the door. She was still furiously wiping her tears away as she walked back into the office.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked as soon as he laid eyes on her from where he was sitting on the edge of her desk. "And I know you're crying so don't you dare tell me that you are fine."

Blair rolled her eyes trying to stop the tears even though she knew that she had been caught. "What are you doing in my office Jack? Because if you are looking for a repeat of my performance last night, you can just go." So she went with her first instinct and diverted the conversation away from what was wrong with her.

Jack shook his head. "Oh no, you are not changing the subject, although you raised multiple necessary points of conversation. First, I'm here to tell you that the board has called a meeting for this afternoon to make do a last minute vote on the Hamilton Building to move up the conversion from offices to apartments so that it could be completed by the prime renting season and since you are the one that's been pushing to stomach the extra cost and go for it I knew that you would want to prepare something ahead of time for the meeting. Secondly, last night was your doing not mine, I was content to just be there for you and if you remember I am the one who put a stop to it. So there's no use blaming that on me." Blair looked like she was about to speak so Jack held up a hand as he stood from his place on her desk. "And lastly, you are going to tell me what's wrong before we leave this office."

Blair narrowed her eyes. She of course was thankful for the forewarning on the board meeting; Jack was right she did want to prepare something ahead of time. But she didn't want to be questioned about her emotions. Jack was starting to know her too well and of all people he was one of the last who needed to know why she was so upset.

When Blair didn't speak he softened his voice. "You know I'm not going anywhere Blair. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

At his words Blair realized that there was nothing more that she wanted than to give in and tell him what was wrong; tell him she was pregnant and let him comfort her. But she was so scared that she couldn't really trust him and for as long as she felt scared, for as long as she felt unable to give up on Chuck, she couldn't lean on Jack, it just wasn't fair. She was never going to be able to give Jack what he truly wanted and letting him be some kind of inadequate substitute wasn't acceptable. So instead of collapsing into Jack's arms and bearing her soul, she stood strong and did one of the things she did best; she lied. "I was working on the ChildCareCorp project this morning and I got a little emotional. I guess I'm still not over the pregnancy scare." She said with a shrug, knowing that she was being convincing as she preyed on bits of the truth.

Jack's heart broke almost immediately. So something else bothering Blair was his fault. Any way you looked at it, Jack was intrinsically wrapped up in the pregnancy scare. He immediately walked from where he stood next to the desk and pulled Blair into a hug. "I didn't realize that was still affecting you so much." He said thinking back to her weird behavior last night. The deal with ChildCareCorp must be torture for Blair right now and he hadn't even thought about it as he pushed forward with the plans. "I'm sorry Blair, I'm so sorry."

Blair stood stiff even as he held her, even though relaxing into Jack's hold and crying away her tears would have been such a release, regardless of the fact that Jack really didn't know what she was so upset about. When Jack spoke she almost laughed; he had no idea just how much this whole thing was affecting her yet his resulting behavior was spot on for what she would have wanted. After a moment of simply standing in his hold she took a step backwards. "What time is the meeting?" She asked as she wiped away her remaining tears, something about Jack's presence had indeed managed to calm her.

"Just over an hour from now." He said as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Blair nodded but didn't speak as Jack continued to run his fingers through her hair. After a few moments Jack spoke again. "After the meeting, do you want to go get an early dinner?"

Blair raised her eyebrows and took a step back from Jack. "Are you asking me on a date Jack?" She really shouldn't have been surprised. Jack had been patient with her even though she continually pushed him away; but he had to be able to tell that she wasn't ready for that, especially since she had told him time and time again that she was never going to be ready for that.

Jack shook his head slightly. "No, just dinner as friends." Blair wasn't ready for a date with anyone other than Chuck right now; Jack knew that. But Jack was also determined that one day she would be and he would be there ready to prove that they were good for each other. "I know you could use a friend right now Blair."

Blair thought how nice it would be to just sit and have dinner with someone. It would be something normal in her life which was filled with anything but. She was about to say yes when she saw the look of hope in Jack's eyes. "I can't Jack because as much as I need a friend, I am the only one that would be considering this a date between friends."

Jack knew his face was probably betraying his disappointment even as he tried to mask it, just as his face had likely betrayed his hope only moments before. "Let me know if you change your mind." He said softly before turning and walking from the room.

Blair sighed as she watched Jack leave. It was so weird to her that she was thinking about Jack's feelings in all of this. He clearly was willing to do anything for her even if it meant being placed firmly in the friend zone but she wasn't letting him because she didn't want to hurt and use him. How ironic. Over the course of the next hour she prepared a quick presentation on the Hamilton Building before straightening up her appearance and heading to the board room.

As she walked in the room, Jack couldn't help but smile. Blair looked so in control of everything. Jack simply sat back and listened as she gave her short presentation on the importance of getting this buildings completed and on the market as soon as possible but as it came time for a vote he became worried. Blair's face had blanched and she looked as though she had just contracted a serious case of influenza. Jack started to stand as he saw her waver on her feet but Blair held up a hand and placed her other on the table before calling for a vote.

Blair could feel the nausea welling up inside of her and by the look of worry on Jack's face she had a feeling that she looked as bad as she suddenly felt. So she expedited the process and called for a vote; something she knew she could rely on Jack to second, which he immediately did. As soon as the board voted, in her favor of course, Blair dismissed the meeting and fled the room, going straight to the bathroom beside her office where she emptied the contents of her stomach.

Jack wasn't sure what to do now. He was worried about Blair; the way that she had hurried out of the board room had him nervous. There was something more wrong than what she was telling him and as he slipped out of the boardroom towards her office he had a sneaking suspicion of what was wrong with Blair. He didn't bother looking in her office; he simply walked up to the door of her private bathroom and placed an ear to the door. The sound of Blair emptying her stomach filled his ears and Jack grimaced; her condition was back.

* * *

Chuck sneered as he exited his limo. He didn't like being in this part of New York for any reason. He loathed Brooklyn almost as much as Blair did. As for people who lived there, well that was pretty much the same story. Unfortunately his master plan required a stop here and a conversation or two with said Brooklyn residents. So Chuck Bass steeled himself and walked inside the building in which the Humphrey's resided.

Chuck was glad he had on gloves as he knocked on the door to the loft, he didn't want to catch any infectious diseases. He tried to hold back the sneer as Jenny Humphrey answered the door with an eye roll.

"Chuck, to what do we owe the displeasure?" Jenny asked smartly. Quite surprised that Chuck was standing in her doorway. This had to have something to do with Blair, it always did.

Chuck couldn't help but smile. Blair really had trained her well last year; the blonde girl sounded just like his ex. "As unfortunate as it may be, I'm here to see your brother."

Jenny's eyebrows shot up. What was Chuck Bass doing visiting Dan? This couldn't be good. "My brother, as in Dan Humphrey, the guy you hate?" Jenny asked, trying desperately to pick her jaw up off the floor.

"Let's hope there's only one Dan Humphrey around; the world certainly doesn't need two." Chuck replied anxiously before continuing. "Now are you going to let me in or continue to have me standing outside in this hallway which probably violates ten building codes?"

Jenny was still awestruck so she took a couple steps back and allowed Chuck entrance into their loft. She immediately noted his appraising gaze as he looked around and the slight look of disgust that started to grow. Jenny began to feel suffocated by the whole situation and turned towards Dan's room to yell for her brother. "Dan, you've got company." With that she turned and walked to her room. Having Chuck Bass in her house was just plain weird. And she had no desire to know why.

Chuck was only alone for a moment before Dan entered the room looking apologetic until he saw his guest. Chuck smirked.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dan asked stopping in his tracks. One of the very few people he hated had somehow managed to find their way into his house.

Chuck's smirked turned to a sneer at his next words. They clearly did not form comfortably in his mouth. "I'm here to ask for your assistance in something."

Dan's eyebrows rose slightly. "The great Chuck Bass is asking for assistance from me, a lowly Humphrey."

"Yes." Chuck said lowly, not liking this situation in the slightest.

Dan could see that Chuck was serious and he knew that Chuck wouldn't just come out to Brooklyn for any reason. If Chuck Bass were here, it was because he had to be. But Dan was still skeptical about what Chuck wanted and just what his intentions were. "What do you want?" He asked warily.

Chuck's smirk had returned; he had a gut feeling that this act of vengeance was going to be fun. "I am going to destroy Blair Waldorf and you are going to help me."

Dan couldn't have been more surprised. This was Chuck and Blair, they had their games but in the end they still loved each other, right? Either way Dan couldn't help the fact that his curiosity had been peaked. "How am I supposed to do that? I don't play your kind of games."

This time Chuck's smirk grew more pronounced. "Remember how you were writing an article on my father for the New York Post? Well you are going to write an article on the new CEO of Bass Industries and it's going to be a killer story, at least where her reputation is concerned."

**

* * *

A/N: Dun, dun, dun, dun. ****The song is Breakeven by The Script. Thanks for reading and if you'd like to review, you know that I would appreciate it. **

**xoxo  
kate**


	29. Who's Working on What With Who?

**A/N: So I was working on this chapter when I saw the preview for next week's episode. I was so inspired by a seemingly similar idea to the one that started this fanfic that I couldn't not finish this chapter and get it posted. Sorry it wasn't beta'd I just really wanted to get it out there. I hope you enjoy it. There will be considerable Chuck/Blair interaction in the following chapter, we'll see just where they go (and where Jack/Blair goes) from here. **

To my awesome reviewers: **SimplyShelbySJL, Krazy4Spike, lily, BrittyKay247, chelle2911, Lalai, CarolinaGirl21, SouthernBelle88, Fiee23, Alisa Depp, TGPfuturewriter, LitPrincess2787, Sw33tHeart21, GGfanficfan09, ggff-fan, odyjha, BigCityDreams4ever, annablake, and nostalgiakills **you guys make my day on a regular basis.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot. **

**Rated: T once more :)**

* * *

"What?" Dan asked, his mouth falling open as he stared at Chuck in pure shock. "You can't be serious?"

Chuck sneered. "Do you think I'd be here if I wasn't?" This was taking far too long. Why was Humphrey not simply doing as he asked to begin with?

Dan shook his head backing away. "No, Chuck. I won't do that. This is some kind of trick, I know it. As soon as I do this the two of you will be on me and have me destroyed. You would never really do this to Blair."

Dan's words struck Chuck as he stared at the boy. "It's no trick." He finally replied. "Blair betrayed me in a way that was unforgivable so now I am going to do the same. You'll be doing me a service; you have nothing to fear from me. In fact, if you choose not to see this deal as mutually beneficial, see it as a thank you for my information on your half brother. When Blair comes after you, blame me and she'll leave you alone."

Dan continued shaking his head as he mulled over the situation. He couldn't prevent the nagging in his gut that this could be THE career move for him. It would put him back in the good graces of Noah Shapiro among others; not to mention the money might just be enough that Yale would once more be a possibility. Against his better judgment, the money and potential success as an author won out over his morals and Dan heard himself sigh. "Fine I'll do it."

Chuck nodded. "I knew you'd see things my way sooner or later. Don't worry Humphrey you are making the right choice."

Dan grimaced, he wasn't so sure about that last statement yet suddenly there was a certain curiosity over taking him. For there to be a story Chuck had to actually have something damaging on Blair and he was going to need proof. Doubt swept through his conscious as he realized that there was no way Blair Waldorf had done something to create a "killer story" as Chuck had so generously stated. "I will not write a story that could be considered libelous." Dan spoke firmly as he felt his body relax. Surely that would be the end of this and he wouldn't have the burden of the choice he had made still upon him.

Chuck smirked, now things were finally getting interesting. After shutting his emotions and feelings for the back stabbing bitch aside, Chuck was able to look at this as any other vengeful plot. He had been wronged and now he was getting even. "That's a non-issue. I assure you that everything I ask you to write will be factual."

Dan's eyes widened as Chuck spoke, as he finished Dan was seriously mystified as to just what Chuck knew that was going to cause such a stir. "What do you have on her?" He finally asked; his voice, not full of judgment but with wonder.

"I'll start with the title." Chuck said still smirking as he elaborately swashed his hand through the air indicating the grandness of his title as he spoke. "Sleeping Her Way to the Top: Blair Waldorf's Rise to CEO of Bass Industries."

Dan shook his head. "Chuck you can't prove that . . ." He began.

However Chuck interrupted. "I have pictures, photographs of her clearly in a relationship with each of us; I mean Uncle Jack and myself. The Gossip Girl blast caused well over 100 reputable people to overhear a conversation concerning a possible pregnancy along with the fact that if she had been pregnant we wouldn't have any idea who the baby's father was." The pictures had come from various locations, some from gossip girl, some from ones he and Blair had made, and the ones of Jack and Blair that Jack had had taken while he was blackmailing Blair (those had taken serious PI work to acquire). The photos along with the gossip girl blasts themselves and his word would surely be enough evidence.

At this Dan shrugged allowing his journalistic instincts to take over. "So what? Where's the story here? You said she had sex with you and your uncle that's hardly sleeping her way to the top. That's not something that any respectable magazine or newspaper is going to pick up as a headliner story."

"It's sleeping her way to the top in the sense that only a week or so after she slept with Jack he gave her 29 shares of the company. As for the other 29, they were a gift from my father, left to Blair in his will." Chuck added with spite.

Dan shook his head slightly. "You can't be . . . I mean you're not implying that Blair was sleeping with your father, are you?" Disbelief colored Dan's voice as he stuttered and stumbled to get the words out of his mouth.

Chuck sneered; it was such an ugly twist to his usual smirk. "I didn't say that although if you wanted to imply such in your story it wouldn't be libel as long as you stuck to the facts."

Dan couldn't believe what he was hearing. Chuck was pressuring him to write a story that would leave the supposed love of Chuck's life labeled as a common whore. "So give me the story's facts like you want it to read. I mean, I get that you want everyone to think that she's some kind of slut that doesn't deserve to be in-charge of Bass Industries but what is the storyline."

Chuck grimaced this was the part he wasn't looking forward to but he figured with a few emissions on the story it would be a bit more bearable. "Blair Waldorf appeared to be my loving girlfriend yet as it turns out, while I was mourning my lost father, she had been having an affair with my uncle dating as far back as New Year's Eve. This affair continued right under my nose as it took place in my own hotel. When one morning I visited Jack and caught her, I ended things between us only to have Jack use this difficult time to manipulate me into signing over the company." Chuck paused for a moment, pondering the possibility that had suddenly struck him. "In fact it could be said that Jack and Blair worked together to steal the company from me, a company which she proceeded to sweet talk away from Jack. Only for us all to discover that she had had another 29 shares all along; left to her by my father, Bart Bass. Who knows what she did to get those shares?" Chuck spoke, insinuation filling his voice as he got into the role. "So she played me, she played Jack, and she might very well have played my father to move up the corporate ladder to CEO. Not to mention a pregnancy scare in which she admitted that if she was pregnant she would have no idea of the paternity."

"So you, the mourning victim of this tale, gets screwed and used by the black widow as she manipulates her way from Bass bed to Bass bed, picking up company shares until she was CEO? And what of Jack? Was he co-conspirator turned victim?" Dan asked as the story began to form within the confines of his head until it was itching to escape through his fingers and get out on paper.

Chuck nodded. "Sure, why not? This really isn't about Jack so I couldn't care any less."

Dan was unable to believe what he was about to say but he knew in his gut that it was the truth; as there was a tingling shooting through his finger tips and up his hands as he ached to write. "Chuck, I think we've got a story."

* * *

Jack was pacing the floor of Blair's office, waiting on her to return from the bathroom. Just like yesterday she had been in the middle of doing something before suddenly fleeing for the restroom. It had been strange enough yesterday when she left after quickly closing the board meeting but today she had ended a conference call with Hojimoto to go. He was worried. Only moments later he watched as Blair tore out of the bathroom, walking rapidly down the hallway. Jack stepped out of her office blocking her way down the hall.

Blair looked up at Jack in disgust. She was in danger of being late for her consultation after her little episode and she didn't have time to deal with Jack. It was annoying enough that she had had to change her plans. They were supposed to have the consultation at her house but Dorota returned from Paris ahead of schedule and she couldn't allow anyone to find out what was going on. So now they were picking her up at the office and going to their offices for the consultation. "Move, you're in my way and I'm late for an appointment."

Jack shook his head slightly. "Blair we need to talk about what I just heard you doing." He knew he was taking a risk being so forward about her condition but he couldn't help it, he was worried about her. If she was upset about Chuck or she needed space that was something he could respect but he wasn't going to stand by and let her do something so destructive and awful for her body.

Blair narrowed her eyes. How dare he bring something like that up? "No we really don't." She said trying to side step him. Shit, he had heard her getting sick. If he suspected she was pregnant this whole thing was game over. There was no way Jack would stand by and let her abort his baby. Surprisingly over the past couple of months, she had come to know Jack perhaps better than he knew himself; or at very least she knew things about him that he didn't know. He wanted to be a father, she could see it in him, especially in the way that he cared for her and the way that he had searched for Chuck. He was ready to be a father but she was nowhere near ready to be a mom.

But Jack was faster as he took hold of her arm and pulled her into the office. "Yes we really do. You forget I already know about your 'condition' Blair. I've been there for you before. Let me be there for you now." He didn't want to push her away, but he wasn't going to let her do this.

Surprise, shook Blair. Jack hadn't even considered the possibility that she could be pregnant, he was only thinking that she was suffering from bulimia. She felt relieved even as she reacted angrily, jerking her arm from his grasp. "I have a virus, nothing more. You know my life would be much simpler if everyone would just mind their own business. I mean seriously, were you listening at the door while I puked?"

Jack looked away almost guiltily before looking back. "I was worried about you. The way you fled from the meeting wasn't normal; it most certainly wasn't like you. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay."

Blair felt her heart soften slightly at Jack's words but she kept her exterior angry and defensive. She couldn't let Jack in, not now, not ever. "You can stop now okay?" She looked down at her watch, something the old Blair Waldorf would have never worn. "Shit, Jack get out of my way, I'm already behind schedule and I need to go talk to Fleming before I leave the office." Jack still didn't move but Blair rolled her eyes and slipped around him, moving quickly towards the exit; not stopping even when Jack shouted her name.

Jack slammed a hand on her desk in frustration. He didn't know what to do. Something inside of him was screaming that he was missing something. Blair's strange behavior just wasn't adding up to a simple virus; there had to be more. As he lifted his hand from the desk, he noticed her planner sitting there. She must have left it behind as she fled the room. It was already opened to today's date as he walked around her desk and lifted it to his hands. Blair had an appointment of some kind today at three in red ink, the rest of the planner was in black. On further observation he noticed another appointment in the same red ink exactly two weeks from the date. What was she doing that was so important that she would write it in red?

Something was off; Jack could feel it like a hint of déjà vu creeping up his spine. He moved a couple of the folders around on the desk looking to see if there was anything else suspicious. He cursed as a folder fell off the desk onto the floor, scattering papers everywhere. As he looked over the desk to assess the damage he noticed something in the trash can. A small box that looked eerily familiar. Jack reached down, withdrawing the box as his hands began to shake. Why did she have a pregnancy test in her office? They had found out over two weeks ago that she wasn't pregnant.

Jack could feel his heart palpitating as he strode purposefully from her office into the CEO's bathroom. Immediately, he checked the trash can under the sink. The thudding in his heart became louder as he noticed the small white contraption. He almost couldn't bear to look as he withdrew it from the trash can. Flipping over the item in his hands he saw the positive sign and everything clicked into place. Blair's condition wasn't back but she didn't have a virus either. She was pregnant.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. All of the pieces were coming together at the same time. How could she have kept this from? He asked himself over and over as he paced the room, but at the same time he knew. Deep in his gut he knew that she hadn't told him because she didn't trust him; which meant that she was getting this taken care of in a way that he didn't approve. He looked back at her calendar; he would place money that this appointments had something to do with her version of 'taking care of the situation.' He knew Blair well enough to know that she would have an abortion and that was something that he wasn't going to let happen, not in a million years.

Jack looked down at his watch. She couldn't have left five minutes ago and she had to stop by Fleming's office so she probably hadn't even left the building. He snapped open his phone calling for his car to be brought around front. Rapidly stalking down the hallway, spotting Blair seemingly finishing a conversation with Mr. Fleming as he passed by, Jack grinned to himself, making certain that he was alone in the elevator and she didn't spot him, slipping into his limo before she reached the street where he noticed she also had a car waiting. "Follow her." Were his only words to his driver before they pulled away.

Jack was unsurprised as they made their way across the Upper West Side, across Central Park, over to the Upper East Side. However he was surprised as they came to a stop at a nondescript townhouse and Blair accompanied by a woman who appeared to be in her mid thirties walked inside. Jack noted the address and called his best PI. "Alex, I need you to tell me what kind of establishment is located at a certain address and I know it's not simply a residence." After giving the PI the address and instructions that this was not a situation with which taking ones time was acceptable, he snapped his phone shut. He was going to find out just what Blair was doing and if it was in any way linked to a possible abortion he was going to find a way to stop it even if it involved tailing her 24/7.

* * *

Blair sighed as she walked into the office after a board meeting, she could feel the morning sickness coming on. Honestly, she didn't know why they called it morning sickness when it lasted all the fucking time. It had been a week and a half since her consultation and now the appointment was only three days away. For once she felt as though relief might outweigh any other emotion she was feeling about the procedure simply because once it was over she might actually be able to keep down her food.

Returning from the bathroom she was unsurprised to find Jack perched on the side of her desk. She had come to expect him to be there with food in hand. Today it appeared to be sushi and a bowl of fruit. At first she had refused to eat the food he brought her but he always seemed to know just what she was craving and eventually she gave in. Now she was to the point that if he didn't bring her food she would have been disappointed. "Hey." She said simply before taking the food and sitting down at her desk. "This is exactly what I needed today; I've got no idea why I've been so hungry lately."

Jack smiled in response; doing his best to keep his smile light but he could feel its tightness. He wanted nothing more than to shout that she was eating for two but knew that if he showed his cards now that would ruin everything. He had to play this right or everything was going to fall apart. He bent over, placing his elbows on her desk. "What do you say we get out of town for the weekend? I know you've been stressed lately and the Hojimoto deal should be finished up. We can leave on Thursday after the meeting is over . . ." Jack trailed off as Blair held up her hand.

Blair looked up at Jack curious to find that she had been seriously considering his offer until she realized that her appointment for the procedure wasn't until Friday at three. So she used the first excuse that came to her mind. "Jack, someday you are going to have to quit asking me out."

"I'll quit the day you say yes." He replied smoothly. "So I take it that's a no?" He continued as he stood up from his position.

Blair simply couldn't explain her current feelings. The look of disappointment on Jack's face hurt her more than she was used to but she knew that she couldn't drop the charade now. "It's always going to be a no Jack." She said, keeping her face neutral. However she couldn't hold his gaze as long as she normally would and found herself looking away.

Jack was intrigued to say the least. It seemed as though he was making progress breaking down Blair's walls that she had built to protect herself. But it wasn't enough, not soon enough at least. He had to stop her from getting this abortion and right now all he was doing was taking baby steps. He was about to say more when the phone rang.

Blair immediately answered, putting on her sickly sweet voice that made all adults melt. "Hello, Blair Waldorf speaking. Oh hi Mr. Morrison. Yes I've had a wonderful week. You still want a quote?" She asked with a pause.

Jack cocked his head curiously. "Who is it?" Who wanted a quote from Blair? In his experience it was never a good thing when the media was involving themselves in the lives of CEOs.

"The New York Post." Blair mouthed before returning to her conversation. "Oh all right. You can quote that 'Despite age and qualifications I am learning quickly and Bass Industries is in good hands with me.'" Blair paused for a moment listening to Mr. Morrison's response. "About how I became CEO so quickly? Hmm, well I suppose I would say that while this was unexpected and moved very rapidly, I believe that I have done what is necessary and will continue to do such to be a successful CEO.'"

Only a short time after Blair's comment she wrapped up the conversation and turned her attention back to Jack who seemed about to burst with questions. "Go ahead." She gestured with a smile.

Jack looked at her warily as he began to question just what Blair had been doing talking to the Post, which was the first question he asked. "Why were you talking to the New York Post?"

"They are doing an article at CEO's under forty and of course as the resident 18 year old CEO I was an ideal subject." Blair answered immediately.

Jack shrugged slightly agitated at her naivety; Blair should know better. "And you gave them a quote just like that?"

Blair smiled slightly even though she was aggravated by his apparent lack of faith in her. "No Jack, not just like that. When Morrison first contacted me, I was hesitant and said that I wasn't interested in being a part of the article. He had since notified me that they were going ahead with the article regardless of whether or not I gave a quote; still I chose not to comment. However, apparently I'm now the only subject who hasn't given a quote and the last thing I need is to stand out even more from the others. So I gave him a quote." Blair said with a shrug, she really didn't see the big deal.

Jack felt his shoulders relax ever so slightly as Blair explained her reasoning. It was true it would have looked bad if she had been the only one not to comment. So Jack smiled at her in return. "Okay." He spoke before taking a seat on the edge of her desk and stealing a piece of sushi.

Blair swatted his hands with her chopsticks and gave her best angry expression but it was obvious to both of them that she wasn't mad at Jack for stealing her sushi and eventually she pushed the abundant container towards him. "Help yourself."

Jack smiled and took another piece. Yes he was definitely making headway, he just didn't know how he was going to speed this up in time to stop Blair from what she was about to do.

* * *

Dan didn't know what to think as he hung up the phone with Mr. Morrison. He had half been hoping that Blair would continue to refuse to make a statement and the story would get cut. She had been holding strong all week but Morrison had cracked her tonight. He not only feared Blair's wrath once the story was run, he still feared Chuck's once he realized what a mistake he had made. But it was too late to do anything about it now. Morrison loved the story, he loved the entire concept. There was no way he'd pull the story now that he had what might be a further incriminating quote from Blair Waldorf herself.

The anxiety out of the way, Dan allowed the happier sentiments in regards to the article take over. He was about to have a serious, legitimate article posted in the New York Post. He was being thrust into the world of journalism, on the cusp of a major breakthrough. The story would be first page news, no one in Manhattan wouldn't read it and likely the entire country would have a hold of it before long. It was such an incendiary piece it was certain to spread like wildfire and he Dan Humphrey, lowly Brooklynite, would become a household name; the journalist who destroyed CEO Blair Waldorf, tearing her career to shreds.

Even though the last thought had brought back a slight tinge of regret, Dan trudged on. He had a very important phone call to make. He opened his phone and dialed a number he never thought he would have memorized.

After two rings, Chuck answered the phone. "Humphrey this better be good news." In his voice was a very definite warning, he was tired of waiting around on this article. Chuck Bass was not a patient man and he had wanted this published a week ago.

When Dan spoke it was with victory in his voice. "Don't worry, it is."

"Well . . ." Chuck spoke impatiently. Why was Humphrey holding out on him?

Dan couldn't help but widen his smile at Chuck's obvious impatience, so he continued to goad him. "Blair gave a quote to Morrison today."

"And. . ." Chuck lead again. He wanted to hear this from him not simply infer it.

Dan tried to make his voice as casual as possible. "And they are running the story tomorrow."

Chuck felt a smirk appear on his lips. He was about to vindicated and Blair's career was about to be completely destroyed. The name Waldorf would be synonymous with the word slut once more, only on a very public scale. Revenge had never been sweeter, or so he thought.

"That's not all." Dan said interrupting Chuck's ideas of tasting the sweet nectar of vengeance.

After a moment, when Humphrey didn't say more Chuck took it upon himself to lead once more. "Well . . .?"

Dan was smiling so broadly at this point that it physically hurt. "They are running it front page. It's THE cover story."

Chuck didn't have words. This was even better than he had imagined. Blair was going to be completely humiliated. If this didn't ruin her nothing would. After relishing in his success a moment longer Chuck spoke words he never expected to speak. "Good work Humphrey, good work."

* * *

Blair woke up the same as she did every morning now; completely nauseous. So much so this morning that she didn't notice a particularly large sized envelope sitting on her vanity with her usual breakfast until she was sitting down to brush her hair. Immediately eyeing the symbol on the front, Blair's breath caught in the front. The package looked large; the crisp envelope appeared to be stuffed. The blue emblem on the front was raised, official. She allowed her fingers to run over it as well as her name printed on the front. This was it; this was the letter she had been waiting for as long as she could remember. Somehow over the past few weeks she had forgotten it even existed; college had been the furthest thing from her mind as she struggled to run a company.

For a moment she let thoughts of the following year fill her mind. There was so much she was going to have to figure out. If she continued to run Bass Industries, Yale wouldn't even be a possibility. Commuting from New Haven would be ridiculous. She could install an interim CEO in her absence, perhaps Jack could do it. As though the thought of Jack startled her, Blair pushed all thoughts of next year from her mind. She hadn't even opened the envelope yet.

What if she hadn't gotten in? This thick envelope could just be a trick, who knew what might really be inside it. It could be a really large condolence package. After all, her grades had been less than stellar second semester, not slipping to a B but getting dangerously close.

Finally she determined that the only thing to do was to open the envelope and find out for sure. So she ran her fingers under the seal, tugging gently at the paper. If she was accepted she was going to want to keep this envelope for forever. Her fingers began to shake as she carefully removed the contents staring down at the words as they began to blur. Even in her current state she could make out the opening line. "Congratulations, we are pleased to extend to you a spot in Yale's Class of 2013." Her heart soured as she read the rest of the letter, hungrily devouring each and every word. She had been accepted at Yale!

The rest of the morning getting ready flew as she felt as though she was literally walking on sunshine. She had never felt so good in her entire life. It was as though her every dream had suddenly come true. No matter how hectic her life was at that moment, the ultimate goal was still intact; she was going to Yale. She walked into the office as though she was floating on a cloud, not even allowing the secretary's strange behavior or the passing employees' strange whispers to bring her down. Who cared about office drama when she was going to Yale?

Blair was in such a good mood that she beamed at Jack as he walked determinedly into the room. "Isn't it a beautiful morning?"

Jack had been coming to consol Blair yet he knew immediately that there was no way she knew. She couldn't have seen the article and still look so iridescently happy. "Blair" He began, the seriousness of the situation at hand invading his voice against his will.

Blair caught on immediately. Something had happened, something bad. "Whoa Jack, what is it? Is it the Hojimoto deal? He better not be backing out of the arrangement again. . . ." Blair said before being interrupted.

Jack knew that there was no hiding this from her, not this time. This was something that Blair needed to know. "There's something you need to see." Jack spoke, unrolling a copy of the morning's New York Post and placing it on her desk.

One look at the cover and Blair's mouth fell open. One look and she went from the happiest girl in New York to the most humiliated. What. The. Fuck.

**

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**

**A/N: You know I always appreciate reviews :) **

**Xoxo  
kate**


	30. Not So Sweet Revenge

A/N: To those of you who asked me through pm's, no I do not write for the show, nor did I have insider knowledge to the events that are currently occurring. I've been writing on this fanfic for over a year and the part that echoes the current storyline was written back in August. Thanks for the compliment though :) To those of you who are still angry at me. I did not classify this story as Chuck/Blair or Jack/Blair because I never knew who she was going to end up with. So for whatever team you route for if it doesn't turn out the way you want I am very sorry. I do plan on writing two separate endings because now it seems as though there are a good deal of people supporting each couple. Anyways, Love you guys.

To my awesome reviewers: **SimplyShelbySJL, smartin555, :D, lily, chelle2911, wrighthangal, CarolinaGirl21, Alisha Depp, Fiee23, LitPrincess2787, lalai, delphin4ik, EmilyEcstatic, Sw33tHeart21, SouthernBelle88, ggff-fan, GGfanficfan09, BigCityDreams4ever, and annablake. **Thanks for all the support and in some cases the honesty. I appreciate knowing what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or the Characters, only the plot.

Rated: T once more :)

ETA: I'm not a journalist so sorry if I broke any news writing rules. :(

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* * *

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_**Waldorf Sleeps Her Way to CEO**  
The seemingly sensational Blair Waldorf recently became the youngest CEO of a major multinational corporation and has been thought to have taken the business world by storm. "Despite age and qualifications I am learning quickly and Bass Industries is in good hands with me." Waldorf said in a phone interview with the Post. She has done well to convince us all of her adeptness in words and actions yet few questions have been asked about the way in which an eighteen year-old, yet to graduate from high school became the CEO of Bass Industries. Previously the girlfriend of Charles Bass, heir to Bass Industries, Blair Waldorf had little to do with the company up until the time in which she was announced as CEO. So now we're asking, how did the Upper East Side Princess become the CEO of arguably the largest company in New York City?_

_The perfect doting girlfriend, ever by the side of her grieving beau was doing everything right. No one could expect more. Yet from as early as New Year's Eve, Blair Waldorf was seeing Jack Bass brother of Bart Bass and uncle of Charles Bass. Spotted on dates with each [photographs on A4], Waldorf continued seeing each Bass man for months. The scandal only increases with a public pregnancy scare in the middle of the 91st Annual Spring Gala hosted by the Junior League; in which Waldorf was overheard claiming that she didn't know whose child she might be carrying. Hazel Williams, Gala attendee and longtime schoolmate of Waldorf gave a statement. "[Chuck Bass] ran into the room and punched his uncle. By that time we all already knew that [Blair Waldorf] was pregnant through Gossip Girl. It was obvious the two were fighting over her." The aforementioned Gossip Girl is a site run by an unknown blogger who commentates on the lives of the Upper East Sides notable teens. _

_In addition to the scandalous affair, shares of the company were greatly involved in the scandal. After discovery of the affair between his girlfriend and his uncle, Chuck Bass unknowingly signed over the company his father had left him to his uncle. While Jack Bass did the dirty work, it was Waldorf who brought Chuck Bass to this condition to enable this manipulation. Only a week later Jack Bass signed over what he believed was half of the company to Waldorf, 29 shares. _

_Jack Bass might seem to be the villain in our tale but it is Blair Waldorf who played both men. At a board meeting on March 20, Blair Waldorf announced not only did she hold the 29 shares of those she had split with Jack Bass, she held 29 shares willed to her by Bart Bass; something she had known since the reading of the will yet kept secret. The meetings minutes read that Jack Bass called attention to the fact that she "out manipulated" him as Waldorf responded, braggingly that she had "finagled the company from within his grasp." This revelation adds a whole new dimension to the entire situation. All along Waldorf knew she held over a quarter of the company, something she failed to tell her boyfriend. She used Chuck Bass, manipulating him with Jack to weasel away what she knew to be only thirty shares before doing the same to Jack, claiming another 29 shares for herself. As for Bart Bass, was there another arrangement filed with secrets lies and manipulations? Is there any Bass man Blair Waldorf wasn't sleeping with to gain shares of the company? When asked about the situation Waldorf said that she "believes she has done what is necessary and will continue to do so." _

* * *

Blair could feel the blood pulsating through her veins as panic began to sink in. She read through the entire article within minutes. Flipping furiously to the photographs mentioned Blair felt her face grow red. One of the photographs of her and Chuck was quite intimate in nature. There were also post included from the gossip girl website, including the ones from the night of the Gala. The worst photo was the most innocent; it was simply of Blair and Bart Bass at the Bass Brunch junior year. Blair had placed a hand on Bart's arm to get his attention after her mother had requested she deliver a message but with the article it looked like her touch was seductive. How could the New York Post publish such unsubstantiated bullshit?

Jack watched as Blair reacted, taking in the article that had clearly set out to tear her to shreds. He saw the anger at the attack on her person. He could see the disbelief in her eyes. "Blair, it's going to be okay." He began, realizing immediately that he had spoken too soon. She had needed more time to digest the article's claims.

"THIS IS THE FUCKING NEW YORK POST JACK. I ALONG WITH MY SEX LIFE, AM THE FRONT PAGE STORY OF THE NEW YORK POST. IT'S A FUCKING CHARACTER ASSASINATION." Blair shouted at Jack across the desk as she slammed the paper down in front of her. "Not only does this article completely leave out my side of the story, it makes it sound as though I did everything on purpose. It insinuates that I slept with Bart and that I was only sleeping with you and Chuck to get to the company. It makes me sound like nothing more than a manipulative, calculating, slut. I'll sue their asses for libel." Blair could still feel the fury running through her veins as she finished shouting and her speech wound down.

Jack could feel his heart pounding. Blair was angry now, she was thinking of only what this meant for her, she hadn't even realized the consequences that this was going to have on the company and her career, though he knew that would come eventually. "You can't sue them Blair. The things that they quote are all true statements, just taken out of context. And the facts are all there, only with added insinuations. Humphrey never explicitly states anything but the truth."

"What did you just say?" Blair asked, her eyes narrowing further as she tried to comprehend Jack's words.

Jack exhaled warily. He didn't want to anger her further even though she needed the truth more than anything at the moment. "You can't sue them for libel if they . . ."

Blair shook her head. "That's not what I meant. I swear you just said Humphrey wrote this article."

Jack's shrugged. "Yeah the article was written by some prick named Dan Humphrey. I'd like to get my hands on him right now." Jack spoke, a threat clear in his voice.

Blair felt the beginnings of a smirk. She now had a target at which to direct her anger. "I think I'll do just that." She spoke, her voice almost a hiss as she stood. "Wait here." She directed at Jack, who was looking increasingly confused.

Jack gave a slight nod of his head, realizing that she must know Dan Humphrey, whoever he was. "Take my car, I'll call and have it brought around." He couldn't deny that part of the reason he wanted her to take his car was so that he could keep tabs on her. If she took his car, at anytime he could call his driver and discover her whereabouts. On the other hand, he wanted to assist her in any way he could.

"I'll be back in a couple hours." She spoke reassuringly before striding confidently from the room. She could hear the whispers growing louder as she walked from her office towards the elevator but she walked with her head held high. No one humiliated Blair Waldorf; she was going to have Humphrey's head on a platter for this one. She willingly took Jack's car; after all, he wasn't even with her so there was no reason not to. The ride to Brooklyn simply allowed her to further mull over her anger; allowing it time to simmer and reemerge full throttle. Dan Humphrey was about to wish that he had never been born.

After close to half an hour she stepped from the cab and walked up to the dreadful residence of the Humphrey's, taking a tissue in her hand to open the door. Walking up the stairs she prepared her speech; she knew exactly what she was going to say the moment she saw Dan Humphrey. However, when she knocked on the door and he opened it, all rational thought fled her mind and all she could do was let her hand fly out and slap him on the face.

Dan's eyes went wide at the sting of Blair's smack. It felt as though his skin was ablaze with flame. He had of course been expecting her; after all he had just written an article with the intention of destroying her. He however had -- perhaps idiotically -- not been prepared for a slap. "Damn it Waldorf that hurt."

"I sure as hell hope so, you pretentious little prick." She spat, taking a step closer to him. "How dare you! How dare you write such incendiary bullshit?" As she spoke she could feel the heat of her anger bubbling to the surface. "You twisted my words and implied that I slept with Bart Bass, that I was only with Chuck for access to the company, and that Jack was completely innocent in the whole matter. I'm going to have so many lawyers poring over that article that if even one word can be considered libelous I'll have you tied up in court bills that you'll never be able to afford." Blair stood there huffing, pleased that she had managed to say what she intended to say. It was Humphrey's response that surprised her. He didn't appear vexed or in any way scared by her verbal lashing and for the second time today Blair found herself thinking, what the fuck?

Dan gave what to him must have appeared as a smirk. "You know Blair maybe you should watch who you give quotes to from now on, not to mention who you sleep with." He had to admit, there was a part of him that relished in the downfall of the bitch that had plagued his existence during the time he and Serena had been together.

Blair had to force her mouth from falling open. "You have no right to say those things to me and you certainly had no right to write what you did. I don't even know how you found out about half of those things or why you chose to make me the villain ignoring the fact that Jack was blackmailing me the entire time and Chuck was off screwing god knows how many girls before he decided to trade me for the company. I didn't fucking ask to be CEO and I certainly wasn't after that. I'm just trying to protect Chuck's legacy. So I don't know where you get off writing these insane half truths."

Dan felt the slightest twinge of regret at her words. He hadn't known any of what she was telling him; Chuck had conveniently omitted such. Yet at the same time he knew he had to stand his ground. "You know what Blair, I really don't care. We both know that you've done something in your life deserving of public humiliation. So what if it's not the complete truth this time? As for how I know any of this, I suggest you look to your left where you will find not only my source but the man who paid a team of twelve lawyers a hefty sum to make sure there's nothing in this article that you could contest."

At Dan's words, Blair's eyes shifted to see Chuck leaning against the doorway to Dan's room. Her heart plummeted within seconds. Of course, of course Chuck was behind this. Who else could it have been? No one else had known this kind of information, she just hadn't had the slightest idea that he had gone out for revenge. Her eyes never left Chuck's, whose intense gaze matched her own, as she spoke her next words. "Leave Cabbage Patch, before I change my mind."

Dan didn't need to be told twice. He couldn't be happier to be out of a situation. There were about to be some major fireworks between Chuck and Blair and not the good kind. He had done what Chuck asked, now he was done with this mess; let the two figure things out for themselves, or not. Either way it no longer was of consequence to him. So he grabbed his satchel and cup of coffee before exiting, fully prepared to hit the library.

Chuck stood slowly as Dan left the room. He had been soaking the rays of his victory all morning long and was fully ready to rub it in some more. He took one step towards Blair and watched as her body visibly started to shake. She was angry; good. "Check mate." He spoke, slowly drawling on his words.

_**Lightning strikes, inside, my chest to keep me up at night  
Dream of ways, to make you understand my pain**_

Blair could feel the steam coming off her body in rolls as she felt a fury she had never known rush through her. "This is really just a game to you." Blair stated as steadily as she could with the way her body was reacting to this news.

"It's always a game Blair." Chuck replied smoothly as he took a few steps closer to her. "And I will always win." By this time he was so close that he could smell her intoxicating perfume and it took all his strength not to pull her to him and smash his lips against hers. He had won their little game and to the victor goes the spoils, right? Yet he restrained himself at least for the moment with thoughts that she had been touched by Jack.

_**Clouds of sulfur in the air  
Bombs are falling everywhere  
It's heartbreak warfare**_

Blair could barely breath with Chuck so close to her and she could smell the strong stench of scotch on his breath. His eyes were darkened after hours of consumption, his gate held a swagger she recognized after many days of seeing Chuck drunk out of his mind. He was invading her personal space and after what he had just done he was in great danger of her clawing his eyes out with her freshly manicured nails.

Instead she hissed the very words she had said to Humphrey only moments earlier. "How dare you? After everything we've been through, after everything we meant; I don't understand how you could do this." Normally she would have had harsher words but her absolute confusion at why Chuck did this had her simply asking for the answers to the questions that were pressing at the forefront of her mind. She had thought that the breakup, while harder than anything she had ever been through, was mutual.

_**Once you want it to begin,  
No one really every wins  
In heartbreak warfare**_

Chuck shook his head slightly, still quite close to her. "How_ I_ could do _this_? You started this war when you moved on to Jack so forgive me for finishing it off." How could she stand there so innocent, like she was the only hurt party in all of this?

Blair was taken aback, what the hell was Chuck talking about?"Jack and I aren't together." She spoke confused once more. What could have possibly given Chuck that impression, Jack knew better than to interfere by now and no one else would want Chuck to think that?

"Bullshit." Chuck raised his eyebrows in doubt. "I saw the two of you in your office, practically ripping off each other's clothes. And to think I had been coming to apologize, to ask for another shot." Chuck added with a scoff.

_**If you want more love,  
why don't you say so?**_

Blair's mind was reeling. Chuck had done this because he was under the impression that she had moved onto Jack, that's why he had publically humiliated her and ruined her reputation? "For your information, Jack and I have kissed once since the board meeting, once. I was hurting because you had just acted like I didn't exist and Jack comforted me and god damn it Chuck I just wanted to forget for five minutes how much pain I was in. Can you honestly say that you haven't kissed another girl since we broke up?" Chuck didn't say anything, giving Blair her answer. "I didn't think so." She was about to turn but Chuck grabbed her arm.

"But she wasn't Jack." He said, still fighting to stay angry when Blair had an explanation for everything and all he wanted to do was kiss her. His heavy alcohol consumption had gone to his head and all he knew was he wanted the war to end. He wanted the war to end and Blair to be his again. So he gave in to the growing hunger inside of him and pulled Blair to him smashing his lips tightly to hers.

_**If you want more love,  
why don't you say so?**_

Blair was shocked and immediately jerked away but Chuck held tightly. She tasted the intense amount of scotch she had smelt on his breath, mingling with the taste of cigars and something strange, something she wasn't used to, perhaps something stronger than alcohol and cigars. Finally managing to extract herself from the kiss Blair stumbled backwards. "This isn't a game Chuck! How many times do I have to say this?" She found her shouts beginning to mingle with the trappings of tears. "You just performed one of the most effective character assassinations of all time, on me of all people and what? You think we can get back together now?"

Chuck gave a slight half shrug. "You forgave Jack. You kissed him after everything he did to you. We'll get past this Blair, we always do."

_**Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again  
Watch my face, as I pretend to feel no pain**_

Blair ran a hand through her hair exasperated. "This isn't about Jack; this is about the fact that you are never going to grow up. This isn't a game to me Chuck. It was never a game to me." Blair could feel herself breaking again and Chuck's look of utter indifference made her so angry that she couldn't help but do the one thing Chuck loathed the most. "But if you insist on bringing up Jack, then I have to say that he's been there for me lately; really there for me."

She moved closer to Chuck as she spoke, watching his eyes grow hot with rage. "Jack comforted me and took care of me. As much as I hate admitting it, Jack would have never done what you just did; Jack would do anything to protect me, even when he was at his most angry. Jack's ready to kill Humphrey right now. I had to leave him at the office because I was afraid of what he might do." Blair knew she was letting her mouth run away from her, saying things she didn't even begin to comprehend let alone know whether or not they were actually true. At the moment she wanted nothing more than to piss Chuck off. "Yet you stand here expecting me to come back to you after what you did, when in all honesty Jack's the one who deserves another chance. What you've done to me is worse than what he did. . ."

_**Clouds of sulfur in the air  
Bombs are falling everywhere  
It's heartbreak warfare**_

If Blair was going to say more, she didn't get the opportunity as she felt the sting of the back of Chuck's hand against her face, knocking her off balance and forcing her to fall to the ground. She raised a hand to her lip finding it split as smears of blood were left on her finger tips. Blair looked up at Chuck from her place on the ground eyes full of shock meeting his which looked just as surprised as her own.

Chuck stood there shocked; disbelief at his actions was wracking his body. "Blair. . ." He uttered his voice chocked. "I didn't mean to . . . I was just so . . . I just wanted you to stop talking about Jack."

_**Once you want it to begin,  
No one really ever wins  
In heartbreak warfare.**_

Blair stood up from where she lay, refusing Chuck's hand as he reached out to help her. Never in a million years would she have believed him capable of physically hurting her, no matter how intoxicated.

Chuck reached out to her and watched Blair jump. "I'm so sorry." He spoke closing his hand over her own, refusing to let go even as she tried to pull away.

Blair shook her head slightly, simply leaving her hand limp in his. "Let go of my hand Chuck."

_**If you want more love,  
why don't you say so?**_

"I didn't meant to hit you Blair . . ." Chuck spoke still holding her hand until Blair interrupted.

"Let go of my hand." She repeated, her eyes shining with anger.

Chuck reluctantly did as Blair asked. He didn't know what he'd done but his actions had suddenly sobered him up. How could he have hit Blair of all people? "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, I just lost my temper."

_**If you want more love,  
why don't you say so?**_

Blair, although still shocked about his actions found she that what was bothering her right now wasn't the fact that he had hit her, it was his reaction. "As despicable it is that you hit me, that has very little to do with why I don't want you touching me. You've stood there the past half hour making excuses and rationalizing the utter destruction of my life that you so carefully orchestrated. God damn it Chuck you had Dan Humphrey write a piece of complete crap to tear me down." She paused, yet Chuck wisely said nothing and she continued on. "You wanted me publically humiliated? Well congratulations, you were successful. You wanted to destroy my life, my career? I'm sure you did that too. The fact that you raised a hand to me ranks very low on my list of things you've done wrong today." Blair finished finding herself licking the blood off her lip to keep it from running. When Chuck didn't respond Blair turned to leave. She had said everything she had left to say and she was exasperated with the entire situation.

_**How come the only way to know how high you get me  
is to see how far I fall  
****God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me  
but I can't break through it all.**_

Chuck reached out a hand, careful not to actually touch her. "Wait Blair, don't go, give me a chance to explain." Chuck felt as though his heart was breaking all over again. He hadn't recognized it as such but his lashing out at her had been a last desperate plea for attention. All he wanted was Blair and now he had done irreparable damage to their relationship. "I don't even understand myself, you're the only one that does. You know me, you know me like no one else knows me. We're Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck; the day you told me that you made me a promise. The worst thing I've ever done, the darkest thought I've ever had; you said you'd stand by me through anything. Well this is anything."

_**I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight  
Let's just fix this whole thing now  
I swear to God we're gonna get it right  
If you put your weapons down, Red wine and Ambien**_

Blair shook her head shocked that he would say those words, throw them in her face now after this. "I didn't say that to give you a free pass to do whatever you wanted Chuck! I said it to let you know that I would support you no matter what you did and I tried Chuck. I stayed with you after you ran away leaving only a note, I stood by your side when you pushed me away throwing my words in my face over and over again. Even when you were willing to trade me off to your uncle like I was some sort of prostitute, like I was your property, I forgave you. But I can't keep doing this. I'm aware of your reasoning as to why you did what you did but I didn't deserve this Chuck and you know it. I was trying to protect you trying to help you because I loved you. But I'm done. I've stood by you through everything but I can't do it anymore; I won't." Blair paused still shaking her head. "So since this is really just a game to you, congratulations, you won."

_**You're talking shit again, it's heartbreak warfare  
Good to know it's all a game  
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak warfare.**_

Chuck heard the echo of his own words in hers. The morning he had found her with Jack he had told her that he 'loved her' past tense. And now, now Blair had done the same. So this time when she turned to walk away, he didn't stop her. Though as she walked from the grungy apartment he had the distinct feeling that he had never felt worse than he did at that one moment. This sure as hell didn't feel like winning.

* * *

As Blair returned to the office she felt her shoulders tighten. She could see copies of the New York Post on nearly every desk. One of the secretaries blatantly called her a whore and that was before she passed sleazy Mike's office.

"Hey Blair, I'm a distant cousin of Bart's. I mean my last name's not Bass but we could still have a go of it in the supply closet." Mike, a sales executive, called out from his small office.

Blair's body tensed as she turned her head. "I'd watch what you say Mike. I'm still your boss."

Mike leered. "Yeah, I bet you really like it on top."

Blair felt her fingernails digging into her palms as she tried to contain her rage. He was a nobody. What he said didn't matter. She repeated this mantra in her head as she started walking again. She was doing her best to remain strong but all she wanted was to get into her office and lock herself away from the world. She couldn't go home, she was certain that her mother had seen the article and wouldn't dare face her wrath. Right now her office was the one place that she could think of as safe.

As she walked she heard her phone beep and looked down; bracing herself for the blast she expected to find.

**I hope you all picked up a copy of this morning's New York Post featuring our very own Queen B because I can guarantee it's a lonely boy headliner you don't want to miss and yours truly was even mentioned. Naughty, naughty B, how ever did you manage to keep me so far out of the loop on all of your delicious exploits? My sources say C was behind this little expose, oh how our mighty power couple has fallen. Maybe it's time for the two of you to lay down your arms and move on before there's nothing else left to destroy; but if you insist on continuing, I'll be happy to narrate.**

**xoxo  
gossip girl **

Blair sighed walking into her office, it could have been worse. She was unsurprised to find Jack still sitting there waiting for her. In fact she found herself pleased to see him. Right now she was throwing the rulebook out the window. If he was willing to stand by her and comfort her, for once she was going to let him.

The moment Jack's eyes landed on Blair he felt a surge of emotion. Relief that she really had come back was chief amongst them. Yet when his eyes landed on her split lip he felt a flash of protective anger. His posture tensed as he stood. "God Blair what happened?" He asked taking a step towards her.

Blair exhaled. "Chuck happened." There was no point in hiding this from Jack; she knew that she would be telling him eventually.

"Chuck hit you?" Jack asked his entire face becoming inflamed with rage. He was really going to kill Chuck this time. How dare he lay a hand on Blair?

Blair shook her head. She had completely forgotten about her lip or she wouldn't have said Chuck's name at all. She could see Jack ready to stride towards the door and she held up her hand, placing it lightly against his chest. "No, I mean yes, but what I meant was the article was Chuck." She saw comprehension dawn on Jack's face and the vein on his neck began to bulge, letting her know just how angry he was.

Jack was doing all he could not to step around Blair and leave without further explanation. She would know where he had gone and he could do it quickly. It wouldn't take long to find Chuck and strangle him with his bare hands, he was sure of it. But he could tell that that wasn't what she wanted; he could see her begging him with her eyes. So he settled for a threat. "I swear to God I'll make him pay for this; all of it."

"Don't . . . just don't." She said placing her free hand against his chest as well. "Please."

Jack took one hand and brushed his fingers along her lip. "I can't believe he hit you. I would have never thought . . ."

"Neither did I." Blair finished. "But I was trying to piss him off when it happened. I wanted him to get mad, I wanted to hurt him, and he was drunk and reacted without thinking."

Jack bent his head placing his forehead against hers. "That's no excuse for him laying a hand on you." He spoke as he placed his hands on her hips.

Blair felt her fingers tighten on his shirt. "I know." She moved closer placing her head on his shoulder and moving her arms around his back. All she wanted right now was for all of this to go away. She had thought the demise of her relationship with Chuck was the worst thing that had ever happened to her but she had had no idea.

Jack wrapped his arms around her; she felt so fragile. This wasn't good for the baby. Blair had to be stressed out right now and she was still so early in her pregnancy. He still wanted to kill Chuck for all of it, but especially for hitting her and God knows he would have if not for Blair. Right as he was about to speak, Caroline, Blair's personal secretary walked in. Jack gently squeezed Blair's shoulder and took a step back, motioning towards the new guest.

Blair wiped quickly at her tears before turning around. "Yes Caroline?" She said, making her voice as authoritative as possible.

Caroline bit her lip, she was only a few years older than Blair and she liked her, she really did. She had been a good boss, a fair boss; much better than Bart, Chuck, or even Mr. Fleming so far as employee satisfaction goes. Plus she seemed to really care about Bass Industries. That's why Caroline was so reluctant to speak. "Miss. Waldorf . . ."

"Blair." Blair spoke, interrupting her. Caroline was practically a friend. It was just weird for someone her own age to be calling her by her surname so she often found herself reminding Caroline to call her Blair.

Caroline nodded. "Blair . . . I'm afraid I have bad news."

Blair felt her heart sink. She had been expecting this all day. She knew what Caroline was going to say before she said it but she stood there with bated breath to allow Caroline to finish.

Seeing that Blair wasn't going to stop her, Caroline continued. "Hojimoto called in while you were out. He saw the article and is canceling any and all business relations while you are still acting as CEO of Bass Industries."

Blair inhaled and then exhaled as she absorbed this new information. It hadn't been a surprise; she had after all been expecting it. There was a sinking feeling in her gut that told her that there was more, call it intuition. Caroline had more bad news, Blair could feel the . . . at the end of her sentence. "What else?" She asked determined to meet this head on.

"The board is calling a meeting to discuss a possible violation of the morality clause. They want to replace you as CEO of Bass Industries." Caroline spoke, meeting Blair's gaze. She knew that Blair liked to hear things straight and avoiding the subject wasn't of any help to her.

Blair felt Jack's hold on her tighten from behind; but she remained silent as she inhaled and exhaled once more. Blair only spoke a few more words to get the information she needed. "When's the meeting?"

"Four pm." Caroline spoke, regretfully. She knew Blair well enough to know that the article couldn't possibly be the truth and that the board was sinking to such a level to appease a foreign client infuriated her; but there was nothing she could do about it but give Blair the facts and help her be prepared.

Blair nodded slightly. "Thank you Caroline." She spoke before the girl turned and left. Blair simply stood there for a few moments. She had expected the Hojimoto pull out. It was one of the first things that entered her mind as she contemplated the consequences of the article. And the disrespect she had been shown in the office this morning had been a grave indicator that her job was in jeopardy. This wasn't even about a job. She had just wanted to do as she had been asked and protect the company and look what it had cost her. She felt her body shaking before she felt the tears begin but when they came there was nothing holding them back.

Jack who was still behind her placed both hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, feeling her shaking under his palms but unable to tell anything more.

Without warning Blair felt her knees go weak and she dropped to the floor, leaning her body against Jack's as she fell. The tears were overwhelming and she couldn't hold any of it inside anymore.

Jack grabbed for her the second Blair fell but now he was awkwardly in between holding her up and falling to the ground with her. Her body was still shaking as he helped her move to the sofa in the room; sitting down with her. He however remained completely silent

Blair immediately curled against him. "Everything's falling apart." She whispered after a moment.

Jack didn't know what to do to comfort her. He had always followed his instincts when it came to behavior around Blair before but right now he just wasn't sure. So he gently rubbed her back. "We'll fix this, all of it."

Blair wanted to shake her head but in her current position it didn't make much of a gesture. "I don't think we can. If they are invoking the morality clause because of the Hojimoto deal then there's no way they won't go through with it. Getting Hojimoto to change his mind would be a miracle."

Jack couldn't prevent the wheels from turning in his head. He could give Hojimoto a call. He had done business with him before but Blair had wanted to handle the account herself. Right now fixing the Hojimoto deal might be their only option for keeping her as CEO. "The board knows how good you've been for this company Blair. Fleming adores you."

"I doesn't matter, not anymore." Blair paused. It was strange, this sense of hopelessness that she felt. The realization of the effects of the article was causing her to lose all ability to act. It wasn't just that she was publically humiliated, the name Waldorf had been destroyed. This wasn't just some silly gossip girl blast; this was the New York Post. Just about everyone she knew had lost all respect for her and for once she hadn't done anything wrong. On top of everything, all the hard work she done over the past few months was in jeopardy. Hojimoto would never work with her again and she knew that when the returns came in later in the day, stock in Bass will have plummeted. The board would replace her, she had no doubt. She could only hope that whoever it was wouldn't further destroy the company. "Who do you think they'll replace me with?" She asked finally, too curious to withhold her question.

"There's a list of possible choices." Jack spoke evasively. The look in Blair's eye told him to quit evading so he clarified. "Lily Van der Woodsen, Charlie Upstreet the VP internal, Gloria Hathaway the VP external," Jack noticed that Blair gave a small snort at the mention of Gloria's name. They all knew that she had started to go flighty with old age; the board would never choose her. Jack didn't particular want to say the last possible option but he knew that he had to be honest with Blair now because if she found out another way he would lose her completely. "And me." He finished averting his eyes.

Blair sat there quietly for a moment before looking up at Jack. "I hope they choose you." Their eyes met for only a moment, Jack surprised by her answer and that her own eyes held something strangely akin to gratitude. Blair then stood, disentangling herself from Jack and walking over to her office desk. "So until then, I'm going to do my job and do my best to fix this."

Jack had so many questions for Blair right now. Questions concerning what she had just said, if she had really meant it? Yet there were also slightly more pressing questions concerning Hojimoto and the board. But Jack was unable to ask either as Chuck appeared in the office doorway. As soon as he saw his nephew, his entire body tensed, the muscles in his neck and shoulders contracting violently. Jack wanted to rip Chuck limb from limb. How dare he show up here after what he had done?

When Blair looked up at Jack after sitting down at her desk, she immediately noticed the intensity of his gaze staring not at her but at the doorway. She knew who it was before she even turned her head to look. Only one person would ever draw that sort of reaction from Jack. So as she turned her head to see Chuck, she braced herself as best she could.

Chuck exhaled as Blair looked at him. He had never seen her so defeated in the time he had known her. She looked like she had cried every tear her eyes contained. They were red rimed and her hair was a mess or at least a mess for Blair Waldorf. Her hands were shaky and she had bags under her eyes. And then there was her lip, her cut lip from where he had backhanded her earlier. This was his fault; all of it. He had done this to her. And suddenly everything he was going to say fled from his mind and all he wanted to do was hold her and make all of this go away for her. He could see Jack staring at him in his periphery but he didn't care. Jack could go to hell.

Chuck hadn't spoken, Jack was still sitting there looking as though he wanted to rip his head off, and Blair for once in her life had no idea what to do. She couldn't deal with this right now. "What are you doing here Chuck? What do you want?" She asked with a shrug of her shoulders. Her voice was practically monotone.

Chuck's heart broke as she spoke. There was something missing from her voice. She didn't even sound like Blair anymore. "Can we do this alone?" He asked allowing his eyes to venture towards Jack for only a brief moment before looking back at Blair, trying to convey his thoughts to her with his eyes.

Jack had been sitting by as patiently as he was able and all things considered he was doing a damn good job; but Chuck's words were the last straw. "Like hell I'm leaving you alone with her; not after what you've done. I'd sooner die." He spoke through gritted teeth as he stood up from the sofa. "You're lucky I don't strangle you, you son-of-a-bitch."

"Jack . . ." Blair started giving him a look that screamed 'back down.' But Chuck wasn't having any of that.

"What _I've_ done?" Chuck asked eyebrows raised, indignant anger rushing through his veins. "You blackmailed her into sleeping with you; you're the dangerous one. You're the one that shouldn't be alone with her."

Jack felt his jaw locking as Chuck spoke but remained calm for Blair. "I have never and I will never hit her." He said lowly, watching as Chuck's eyes darkened and he seemed to shrink within himself. "You crossed the uncrossable line Chuck; there is no coming back from that."

Chuck ran a hand over his head. Jack was right. After everything he had done he had become the worse of the two. What had he become in all of this? What had this war done to him?

Blair watched the looks that the two men in front of her were exchanging with trepidation. Her life was already in ruins, there was no point in waiting any longer to deal with this. So she spoke, cutting through the tension like a knife. "Jack, it's fine."

Jack looked back at Blair eyebrows raised; ready to contradict her, to shake her until he convinced her that there was nothing fine with leaving her alone with Chuck right now. But when his eyes met her own he saw determination and a desire to simply get this over with. So he nodded his head, allowing her to make her own decisions. He glared daggers at Chuck, "I swear to God if you ever lay a hand on her again I will kill you, no matter what Blair says." He looked back to Blair, "I'll be down the hall in my office if you need me." As soon as Blair nodded at him, he turned and left. He didn't like leaving her with Chuck but this was a public place, there wasn't a lot Chuck could do to her here and this would give him time to try his plan to fix all of this.

As Jack exited Chuck turned toward Blair, once more he couldn't quite form words, especially after what Jack had reminded him of.

Blair ran a hand through her hair and sat back in her chair. "Okay Chuck, Jack's gone, now say what you're here to say or go home because I don't have time to deal with your bullshit today."

Chuck inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling; if he was going to do this now was the time. He wasn't going to be given another chance after this. "I'm sorry Blair, I'm so sorry. All I wanted was you, I've always wanted you. What I did was wrong. I just wanted your attention. I thought I had lost you to him. I was hurting so I lashed out." Chuck spoke with frequent pauses as he pushed to say what he wanted. "I should never have gone to Dan, what I did to you was the most heinous thing I have ever done and I'm sorry." Chuck stood there waiting to see what she was going to say, assuming she was going to say anything at all.

Blair barely believed that Chuck was standing before her again making excuses for what he had done. She had thought that after their confrontation earlier he would have realized that it wasn't just about what he had done to her and that this was not simply something he could apologize away. "You're such an immature little child." She spoke with a sigh. "No matter what you say you still think of this as a game. Guess what, it's not. This is the real world Chuck, not high school politics. We aren't little kids anymore and you need to stop acting like a spoiled brat who didn't get his way. Now you stand here apologizing like that can make everything all better. Geez Chuck it's like you're asking me if you can be un-grounded."

Chuck tried not to allow his temperature to rise or his anger to bubble to the surface. "Blair, I get that this is real. I get that what I did can't just be taken back. I know that I can't go back and make people stop reading all the crap Dan wrote about you and I can't change their opinions. I'm sorry for destroying your reputation. That's why I'm here telling you that I know that I was wrong. You know how hard that is for me."

"God damn it Chuck! You still think this is all about me." Blair shouted slamming her hand down on her desk and letting her emotions fly. "Do you even realize the damage you've done and I'm not talking about the fact that I'm going to be black balled from every society event in New York for the next three years?" Chuck looked at her with puzzlement as if to say what else is there? Blair shook her head slightly. "Hojimoto is now refusing to meet with me based on my morals. We had already been on unsteady footing because I'm a woman and he didn't believe that I could do this job as well as a man. In case you aren't aware, he's our biggest client and God only knows how many other clients will pull out. And the board is going to try to replace me as CEO this afternoon, calling into effect the morality clause your father drafted for you." Blair was having trouble continuing, needing to stop to catch her breath before doing so. In her pause, Chuck didn't even try to speak; he didn't think that he would have been able to form words if he tried. When Blair started speaking again she slowed her voice down. "If you were so angry at me that you wanted to go after me and ruin my reputation, that's fine. I'll deal with it, it's not like I haven't been knocked from the top before. But you didn't just destroy me; you destroyed your father's company. You drug it through the mud before burying it in a hole so deep that it's going to take years of work to pull it back out."

Chuck shook his head slightly. "I'm sure it's not that irreparable. The article was about you not the company." Chuck spoke disbelievingly.

Blair shook her head. "You just don't get it. I'm the CEO of Bass Industries and an article was just released claiming that I was sleeping with the deceased former CEO, his son, and his brother all so that I could move up the ranks. It doesn't just look bad for me, it looks bad for Bart's memory that he left such a large chunk of the company to his "mistress," it looks bad for you because you admit to being played and being careless with your shares, and Jack looks like the worst family member ever though even he wasn't a competent business man because he gave me part of the company. It calls into question the entire management family of Bass Industries. No one wants to do business with us or to be associated with us. Numbers are already coming in, stocks are down, bookings are down, everything is in shambles and it's only day one." She couldn't believe that Chuck didn't get it. "After everything I went through to protect you, to protect this company, you threw it all away to piss me off. For someone who prized his father's company above me you certainly didn't show much respect for it. Now if you're done, I need to make some phone calls and try to do some kind of damage control. I have a meeting with PR in ten minutes."

Chuck couldn't believe it, he had never considered what this would mean for the company; he had just wanted to hurt Blair like he had been hurt. "I'm sorry." He said still standing there in front of her. "I didn't want this Blair, I'm so sorry."

Blair shook her head slightly. "I was serious before Chuck, please leave."

It was as though he was frozen in his spot, Chuck couldn't seem to move his feet until he said one more thing. "I love you."

Blair closed her eyes slightly, the words difficult to hear right now. She had too much to do, too much to worry about. "Just leave." She spoke her voice once more defeated.

This time Chuck obliged her, turning and walking from the room.

**

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A/N: The song was Heartbreak Warfare by John Mayer and as for the use of the words from the I love you scene, I wrote this weeks ago and just got it back from my beta. I think my mouth fell open when Chuck and Blair had such a similar conversation last night. Anyways, reviews are very much appreciated. **

**xoxo  
kate**


	31. Expecting the Unexpected

**Hi again! I hope there are still people out there interested in reading this. I know it's been almost six months since my last update. I found that I got a little lost with this story for a while. I let the show get in my head with its Jack/Blair/Chuck storyline and it messed me up, but I can assure you that I'm back on track. This update has a lot of important things that go on even though it's not really a jaw dropper. The next few are going to be BIG and will start us racing towards a conclusion (you'll understand as you read). Blair's got some big choices to make.**

To my reviewers: **Fiee23, SimplyShelbySJL, Krazy4Spike, GGfanficfan09, annablake, SouthernBelle88, CarolinaGirl21, LitPrincess2787, Alisha Winchester, Sw33theart21, ggff-fan, chelle2911, BrittyKay247, Rainbow Dust, Fall-Back-Down, Noirreigne, and ffgirl. **Thanks so much for the many many emotional reviews, I owe you guys a lot for motivating me to find my way back to this story. All I have to say about your concerns is not to give up on whatever couple you are rooting for just yet. I may know the end of the story but there's a lot to go before we get there in the way of drama.

**Disclaimer: I don't own gossip girl.**

**Rated: T because we all know I can't contain the language **

Special thanks to my awesome beta **ggff-fan **who managed to beta this after not reading a chapter in six months!

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Jack felt like throwing the phone across the room. He'd been on hold for at least thirty minutes now while Hojimoto was en route to the office as it was six am in Japan. The board meeting should have started ten minutes ago and he wanted this done so that he could be there for emotional support. Whether Blair knew it or not, he knew she needed him, especially for things like this. He was the only one who understood what she was going through, the only one who could since she hadn't told anyone about the pregnancy. All of this stress wasn't good for her and it wasn't good for the baby.

In all of the mess today, he'd almost forgotten that Blair had an appointment tomorrow afternoon to have the baby "taken care of" and he still hadn't found a way to stop her. Maybe he could convince her to go somewhere with him for the weekend to get away from the stress of the city. If there was ever a time that that might work it would be now. As a plan was beginning to take shape in his mind, he heard an end to the annoying elevator music. The change was so abrupt that it caught him off guard as a voice spoke on the other end of the line. Jack was further shocked that the voice was not the assistant he'd spoken to earlier but rather Hojimoto himself.

"Jack Bass, it is rather early is it not." Hojimoto spoke, his voice sounding grim.

Jack assembled his wits quickly; he was going to need them for this. "You know why I'm calling."

Hojimoto gave a sound on the other end of the line that sounded mildly like laughter. "Yes, I'm refusing to do business with your little whore."

Jack's fingers gripped the phone tightly, so tightly that he thought he might crush it in his hands. He wanted to call Hojimoto out, to defend Blair's honor, but right now he knew he couldn't do that without angering Hojimoto. So he spoke through gritted teeth. "You can't believe everything you read, my old friend."

"No I suppose not." Hojimoto spoke, before continuing. "I can't help that other people read it either. She now has quite the reputation."

"Bart Bass was the biggest playboy in Manhattan." Jack responded curtly. "You had no problem working with him.

Hojimoto's answer was immediate. "Bart Bass was a man."

Jack seethed but said nothing; he didn't need to. Hojimoto continued on his own. "I already had my reservations about working with a woman and I certainly cannot lower myself to work with one with a reputation such as hers."

At that Jack literally shook from anger. This man had no concept of who Blair was and his sexism was disgusting. So Jack responded with the one thing he thought might work. He and Hojimoto had gone to boarding school together and there were things he knew about the other man that no one else knew, things that he currently had every intention of using against him. "And here I thought you were a man of the new ways Kim." Jack spoke casually as he slipped in Hojimoto's first name. "Your father would be so proud that you were carrying on his legacy and sticking to all of the old traditions."

Jack could hear Hojimoto hiss on the other side of the line and knew he had the man going. "It's strange," Jack mused into the receiver. "I thought you were a progressive man." Silence met his statement yet he could still hear Hojimoto's breathing on the other end of the line.

"Okay Jack you have my ear." Hojimoto said after a few minutes.

Jack smirked, knowing he'd won. He just hoped it was soon enough. "I think perhaps we should discuss our company's business together with a rational, progressive mind; don't you?"

* * *

Blair took a deep breath as she stood before the board room doors. She could feel her hands shaking as she attempted to hold on to the folder in hand. She had to get control of herself, if she didn't, they were going to eat her alive in there. But telling herself that today didn't seem to help. Her next thought terrified her, although she shouldn't have been surprised, not anymore. She needed Jack. She needed him to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright. It wasn't something that was easy to admit, especially not for her; but here she stood, knowing what she wanted more than just about anything was Jack to calm her down. And for the first time she could remember, Jack was nowhere to be found. Without Jack there, she was left waiting by herself outside the board room.

She didn't know what was taking so long. The meeting was supposed to begin at least twenty minutes ago and yet she was still standing here waiting for them to finish a discussion they were having behind closed doors. She knew that the discussion was most likely about her; who was she kidding, she knew it was about her.

Only a few minutes later Caroline stood from her desk outside the board room and gave Blair a nod. "They're ready for you." She spoke giving Blair a small smile of encouragement.

"Any idea what took them so long?" Blair asked, walking back towards the doors.

Caroline lifted her shoulders slightly. "No idea. Well, Fleming mentioned someone was speaking to the board but whoever it is didn't use this entrance."

Blair breathed a slight sigh of relief, at least that explained where Jack was. Which meant he hadn't abandoned her too; of course she never thought that he would do that. Jack wouldn't leave her; that much she knew. Shaking herself slightly she prepared for what was ahead. This board room battle was going to be the fight of her life; of that she was certain. Everything depended on what she said in the next half hour. She needed to save the company. Even if she couldn't convince them to let her continue on as CEO (she wasn't even sure that was what was best for the company), she had to hope they chose Lily or Jack. She didn't trust anyone else.

She swallowed hard at her last thought. She'd just thought the words "trust" and "Jack" in the same sentence. That couldn't be possible. She couldn't trust Jack . . . could she? She'd sworn it would never happen. She'd promised Chuck, she'd promised Lily, she'd promised Jack, and most of all she'd promised herself that Jack could never earn her trust; that he could never be more than what he was. If she trusted him what did that mean?

"Blair?" Caroline asked curiously as she looked at her boss strangely. Blair seemed to be lost in a seemingly shocking thought. "Is everything okay?"

Blair snapped her head back to Caroline and managed a grim smile. "It will be."

Caroline nodded before gesturing towards the door. "You probably shouldn't keep them waiting."

Blair returned the nod. "No, I suppose I shouldn't." And with that she entered the lion's den.

She was immediately taken aback by the atmosphere in the boardroom. Jack wasn't there. Lily still wasn't back from her trip to Paris so she was being teleconfrenced in; which meant there wasn't a single friendly face in the room. The other implication of the current boardroom status was that whoever had been speaking to the board, had left the same way they came, through the back door.

As much as she would like to, Blair knew she couldn't worry about this right now so instead she took a deep breath and prepared herself for what was about to come.

"Why don't you take a seat Blair." Mr. Fleming suggested, gesturing towards her usual chair.

Blair took a step forwards, ready to do as suggested when she was struck by a memory, one that she shouldn't be thinking of, especially not right now. She remembered Chuck giving his best man speech at his father's wedding. She remembered him laying down his cards and staring directly at her. She remembered the way that it had made her feel and knew that there was no other delivery that was better than one that came directly from the heart as opposed to one that was planned out. And just like that her entire presentation fled from her mind as she allowed her instincts to take over. "Actually I'd rather not." Members of the board raised their eyebrows but she continued. "You see, you've already made your decision. What I say right now isn't going to influence what you are about to do. Either you've already decided to vote me out and you're going to spend the next hour listing off everything I've done wrong before removing me from my position. Or you won't. And quite honestly I don't really want to hear it."

Blair took a quick breath as Caroline stuck her head in the door. "Mr. Fleming, you have a phone call."

"Hold my calls for the remainder of the meeting Caroline." He replied with a minor glare in the secretary's direction.

Caroline nodded before disappearing back outside the board room, leaving Blair to continue her speech but for the moment her words seemed to have failed her as she was once more thinking about Chuck's speech. _She gave my father the gift of a second chance and in kind I've watched him become someone actually worthy of that gift. And one day I hope I'll be lucky enough to find someone who'll do the same for me. _But she had given him a second chance then, and again after he had turned her down last fall, and again after she'd told him she loved him and he'd run away, and again after he pushed her away when he was back from Bangkok, and again when he'd reacted so badly to her potential pregnancy, and again when he traded her for the company. He never seemed to learn. She couldn't keep taking him back, this had to be the limit.

As if on cue, Lily's voice came over an intercom of sorts. "You were saying Blair?"

Her words snapped Blair out of yet another daydream as she stared down the board. "I'm not going to try to sway your opinion on whether or not to vote me out; I'm not going to try to sway your opinion on whether or not I'm a corporate climbing slut. I'm not going to try and tell you "my side of the story" because we all know that lies are more interesting. I'm just going to tell you the pure and simple truth."

Blair took a deep breath and leveled her gaze at Mr. Fleming. "I saved Bass Industries and you know it."

Fleming lifted his chin but so did she, maintaining eye contact. "Just like you know I didn't want this job." He'd been at that first board meeting and seen what had really happened, he'd mentored her over the interceding months, and had even seen her break down on occasion because it was all too much. He knew everything she had been through to protect this company, and beyond that he knew what she'd given up. Finally, Fleming gave her a slight nod of his head, acknowledging that he knew what she was saying.

Blair didn't waste time smiling as she addressed the whole board once more. "If you don't want me as CEO anymore because of the bad PR, that's fine." Blair paused before delivering her cutting line. "But don't you dare sit here pretending like this is about something that it isn't when I was the one person who managed to do what the rest of you couldn't as I put this company and the Bass name back together when things were getting dangerously close to folding." She reminded them of the merger that she alone had prevented. Blair was about to continue when Caroline once more walked into the room earning a vicious glare from Fleming.

"I'm sorry, sir but the client won't wait." Caroline spoke, trying to keep her voice calm. This was the most eventful a day at Bass Industries had been since the CEO shake up months ago.

Fleming continued to stare grimly but proceeded to reach forward towards the phone. "Who is it?" He asked before he lifted the receiver.

"It's Hojimoto, sir." She responded, causing a resounding gasp to echo around the room. Even Blair was surprised.

Instead of picking up the receiver, Fleming pressed the intercom button. "Hojimoto. I didn't expect to be hearing from you again today after your phone call early this morning."

Hojimoto immediately barked a response. "Am I correct in assuming I am on speaker phone?"

"Yes." Fleming replied immediately.

"Of course. You're predictable Fleming." Hojimoto scoffed. "Is Ms. Waldorf still present?" He asked. Jack had informed him that the board was meeting concerning the girl right now. Or else he would have waited a few hours to call.

Blair jerked in surprise. "I'm here sir."

"Good." Hojimoto replied. "Know that I don't do this often. I owe you an apology Ms. Waldorf." Blair's mouth dropped open in shock but Hojimoto couldn't see it and likely wouldn't have stopped even if he had. Though he did anticipate her reaction. "Don't be so surprised child, I might not be as old fashioned as you think." He paused. "Fleming, I retract my statement earlier this morning, Hojimoto will not be pulling out of its deal with Bass Industries. I've been assured of the girl's capabilities and innocence in the matter at hand and we here at Hojimoto Enterprises are quite the forward thinking group. Our spin team will be contacting yours to work on using this publicity in our favor."

"Of course." Fleming replied with a gulp.

"I'll be in touch." Hojimoto said before the line went dead.

Blair had to place a hand on the table to keep her balance. She could hardly believe what had just happened. She heard various murmurs throughout the room and that's when it clicked as to what actually had just happened . . . Jack. Of course. That was why Jack hadn't been with her before the meeting, he'd been working on Hojimoto. She hardly heard the volume the room had reached as Lily practically shouted over the crowd. "So Mr. Fleming may we call this board session to a close and move on with our very busy schedules?"

"Not quite." Fleming responded causing the board to go silent with shock. "Hojimoto's support does not change the PR disaster we have on our hands."

Mr. Murray nodded his agreement. "Yes this does not really affect why we were meeting at all now does it? We'd still be here if Hojimoto hadn't withdrawn his support."

Blair felt herself deflate as the words left his mouth, but managed to keep a strong front. "I have a request before I leave you to your vote. If you choose to remove me from my position, I give my full backing to reinstating Jack Bass as CEO." She heard several murmurs around the room but continued speaking over them. "As we've stated this isn't about whether or not I'm capable, this is about the public image of the company. Therefore I believe I'm fully capable of making a suggestion such as this." She spoke before someone could say that she wasn't in a position to be making requests of that magnitude. "As for why I say it should be Jack. He knows this company better than anyone, certainly better than me. He's been on the inside of every deal made during my time here so he won't be behind. He's a master manipulator as you all well know, so he can spin bullshit at every turn to get the company out of this. And to top it off, I can tell you that he's the one who's convinced Hojimoto to reconsider. Jack's the right man for the job." Blair was picking up her folder from the table, ready to leave when Fleming stopped her.

"Before you leave Ms. Waldorf I have a question or two." She paused placing down her things and he continued. "What is your relationship to Dan Humphrey?"

Blair was surprised at his line of questioning but she answered him as diplomatically as she could manage under the circumstances. "He's from Brooklyn. He was a classmate of mine at Constance St. Jude's as well as the current boyfriend of Mrs. Van der Woodsen's daughter who happens to be my best friend."

Fleming nodded. She'd given the answer he'd been prepared for. "So could you tell me why Mr. Humphrey would want to write such a defamational article?"

"We were never exactly friends." Blair responded before adding. "Though as far as I know he was paid rather handsomely for the article.

Fleming nodded. "Yes, well was he paid enough to cover the law suit charges that are sure to follow?" He knew where he was going with this. Blair was playing directly into his hands without even realizing it.

Blair responded without thinking. "There won't be a lawsuit. Chuck would never let that happen. He's already had a team of lawyers make sure."

Fleming's eyes widened as a smirk formed on his face. It was only then that Blair realized that she had done what she said she wouldn't do and unwittingly made an excuse for what had happened. Seeing her reaction, Fleming continued. "Can you tell me more of Chuck Bass's involvement, Ms. Waldorf?"

Blair sighed knowing she was trapped. "Chuck hired Dan Humphrey to write the article to get back at me."

"Why is that?" Mr. Fleming asked, looking quite amused and rather pleased with himself.

Blair looked away, then looked back. She was going to kill Jack for this one. How had he managed to get to Hojimoto and tell the board what had happened with Chuck? This wasn't something that she wanted them knowing. After all, even now she still intended for Chuck to have the company one day and she didn't want the members of the board to think badly of him. But it appeared as though she no longer had a choice. "Chuck was angry with me. He wanted me to sign the company over to him and I didn't."

"And . . ." Fleming said leadingly hearing the weighted pause at the end of her last statement.

"And . . . Chuck was under the impression that I'd chosen Jack over him in a romantic sense." Blair added with a sigh.

"I see." Fleming spoke before adding the pièce de résistance. "Can you tell us what happened to your lip?"

Blair's eyes widened in shock as her fingers fled to her split lip. She'd forgotten all about that in the stress of the afternoon.

When she didn't say anything Fleming continued. "Were you in a fight Ms. Waldorf?"

Blair didn't know what to say. She was so caught off guard and he clearly already knew; why else would he ask such a question. "I confronted Chuck this afternoon. There was an altercation."

"Do explain Ms. Waldorf." Fleming said looking around at the other members of the board as they seemed to all be reaching the same conclusion as he had assumed they would, hearing all of this from Blair Waldorf.

Blair sighed in complete frustration. How had this happened? She really was going to kill Jack! This was never something she would have wanted to share with the board, even if she wasn't trying to protect Chuck. "I don't feel comfortable saying anything more."

Fleming shook his head. But it was Lily who spoke. "Blair I think it's time you stopped trying to protect Charles. Allow him to take responsibility for his actions."

"Don't leave anything out." Mr. Fleming added.

Blair cocked her head, confused at Lily's comment. This wouldn't be Chuck taking responsibility for his actions, this would be her sharing their private business with the entire board but as she looked at their expectant faces she found that she couldn't deny Lily's request. "I went to confront Dan and Chuck was there; he'd been expecting me. Chuck kissed me, told me he wanted me back. I slapped him." She looked away for the next part, unable to meet anyone's eyes. "Chuck and I exchanged words. I mentioned Jack, trying to get under his skin, he backhanded me." Blair was shocked when she looked back to face the board and none of them seemed surprised at all. Nor could any of them seem to meet her eyes.

"Thank you Ms. Waldorf. That's all." Mr. Fleming said with a dismissive wave.

No one else said a word as she picked up her things and left the room. She was shaking from the experience as she walked outside. Spotting Jack pacing outside the board room, she immediately walked into the safety of his arms.

"Hey it's okay." He spoke rubbing her back reassuringly.

Blair held him tightly to her. "I didn't think it would be that hard."

Jack nodded, placing a kiss on her shoulder. "I know."

They were still holding each other tightly when Caroline coughed slightly, causing them to pull back. "Mr. Bass, if you'd like to be inside for the vote you need to go in now."

"You're voting?" Blair asked surprised and intrigued.

Jack nodded. "Each member of the board gets one vote as they represent the millions of shareholders. Lily and I each get one vote ourselves as percent shareholders. You get a vote as well which will be automatically counted towards yourself as you cannot be present due to a conflict of interest in the voting; they can't have you knowing who voted for or against you."

Blair inhaled slightly, pulling further away. Her first instinct was to ask Jack who he was voting for but she knew she couldn't ask him to vote for her if he was the alternative choice. The best thing for her to do at the moment was to get out of there. "I'll be in my office."

"Blair!" Jack called out as she walked away. He could see that she was upset about something but he had no idea what. It could be her morning sickness acting up again. He wanted to run after her but Caroline was indicating that he needed to hurry so instead he stepped inside the boardroom.

* * *

Blair was sitting at her desk furiously working at the _New York Times_' Sudoku for the day. She wanted to do work but she found that she couldn't make herself work on Bass Industries things; it would be pointless in a few moments. She was forcing herself not to let her mind wander as it clearly wanted to do but Blair knew that was a bad idea so she put her mind firmly on the meaningless task at hand as though it was the most important thing in the world.

No matter her level of concentration, it didn't stop her from noticing as the door to her office was flung open as Jack rushed in. She stood immediately, her Sudoku falling to the floor. "Well?" She said before Jack had a chance to get a word in edge wise.

"You're still CEO." He said with a smirk.

Blair fell backwards in the seat. "How is that even possible?"

Jack couldn't hold back the beaming smile that rose to his face. "I'm not going to say it wasn't a close one but in the end they made the right decision." He could have told her the truth. He could have told her that he'd been the deciding vote in the matter; that if it weren't for his vote he'd be CEO instead. But he didn't because it didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was happy.

His smile was infectious as Blair found herself rushing forward and wrapping her arms around him. This time for all the right reasons. "I know you talked to Hojimoto." She spoke, still smiling. She couldn't even be mad at him for all of the other stuff.

Jack shrugged. "I had to do something. If you're mad, I'm sorry, I couldn't just sit around and . . ."

Blair interrupted him by placing a kiss on his lips. Not a heavy kiss or a passionate one; a simple, soft, gentle kiss. She pulled away and smiled at him. "Thank you." She said sincerely.

Looking into her eyes, Jack was amazed, there was so much there that she had never shown him before and suddenly he knew it was time. "Let's get out of town. We can take a long weekend; get out of town and give this a chance to blow over. No stress, no cell phones, no real world for a few days."

"Where?" Blair asked, hardly believing that she was considering it; but she couldn't deny that it sounded so good right now. After everything, some time away was just what she needed.

Jack smiled. "I know a place."

Blair bit her lip slightly, narrowing her eyes in thought. After a moment she spoke. "I'll have to take care of a few things first; conference Hojimoto, file some paperwork."

"I can pack for you." Jack said, now beaming at Blair's apparent acquiescence. "We'll be out of here by seven o'clock."

Blair returned his smile, finding herself feeling excited about this getaway. "Okay."

Jack couldn't believe the rush of happiness he felt. Four days, maybe more, just him and Blair. And leaving now meant they would miss her appointment. It was perfect. "I'll meet you back here in two hours."

"Okay." Blair said smiling brightly.

Jack returned her smile and placed another quick kiss on her lips before rushing out of the room. After all, he didn't just have to pack for Blair, he had to pack for himself and two hours would be cutting it close.

As Blair sat back in her seat, she had to laugh at everything that had happened today. And quite honestly she couldn't help the happiness that seemed to be coursing through her. She hadn't felt this good in so long. Doing something she'd never done, she spun her desk chair, laughing out loud as she spun around.

Eventually she got back to work, conferencing Hojimoto, who was easier to work with than he had ever been before. The papers were up and away in plenty of time for her to touch up her make up before getting ready to leave.

Walking out of her office, Blair had a smile on her face. She'd already filed the work to have Mike in sales fired for his sexual harassment of that afternoon and was happy to have a little bit of the old swag in her step. She would have walked straight out the door without speaking to a soul if Caroline hadn't stopped her. She'd messaged Caroline earlier to clear her agenda for the next few days; that she was taking some personal leave.

"Hey Blair, can you wait just a second?" Caroline asked without glancing up from the screen, as she furiously finished typing a few documents in order to be able to devote her attention to Blair.

"Sure." Blair said, pausing in front of the pretty blonde.

As Caroline finished typing she looked up and smiled. "Before you left with Jack I just thought that you should know that he talked to the board."

Blair smiled. "Oh I already know Jack talked to the board. . ." Blair started, but she was interrupted by Caroline.

"Not Jack, well I'm sure that Jack did too, but I meant Chuck." Caroline paused as Blair absorbed the information, going so far as to take a step backwards. "He's the one who was in there that made the meeting late. He went to the board and told them that he had lied. I think he told them everything."

Blair was shocked. So that's how they had known to ask all of those personal questions. That also explained what Lily meant about letting him take responsibility. This was so unlike Chuck. Chuck never took responsibility for anything he did wrong; it just wasn't in his nature. Shocked, she could only manage a tiny nod and a mute. "Thanks for letting me know."

This gave her so much more to think about. Chuck had done the one thing that may have changed everything. But she still couldn't forget Jack and everything that he'd done for her. Regardless of what had happened in the past, she trusted Jack now, in a way that she trusted no one else and she was going to have to deal with that.

**You'll never believe this one kids. Somehow B managed to finagle herself out of this mess with the board. A little birdie told me it had a little to do with C and a lot to do with J. Here's to the boys who seem to ruin B's life just to put it back together again. That said, I think B's going to have to make a big choice in the near future. Decisions, decisions. Who's it going to be B? **

**xoxo  
gossip girl**

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**So there you have it! **

**Reviews would be awesome!**

**xoxo**  
**kate**


	32. Crossing the Threshold

**A warning to those of you who hate Jack/Blair. This is not going to be a fun chapter for you. Push through it. Maybe consider skipping it until I update again with the next chapter because honestly you'll hate me less then. If you do like Jack/Blair, you are about to love me (for one chapter).**

**To my reviewers: **annablake, D, wrightangal, SouthernBelle88, QueenB4ever, Alisha Winchester, LitPrincess2787, CarolinaGirl21, Taiyo To Tsuki No Megami, LisaLevine, ggff-fan, ladychrysanthemum, Sw33tHeart21, and LovelyLydia. **I love you guys sooooooo much!**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gossip Girl.

**Rated: **This chapter is **M **at the end.** YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

Thanks so much to **ggff-fan** the most awesome beta ever!

**

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Blair found herself deep in thought as she exited the building. She had so much to think about now with Jack and Chuck. It was as though it never ended. She'd finally felt as though she'd moved past Chuck and all of his immature antics but then he went and did something like this; taking responsibility for his actions in front of the board. It just left her confused and frustrated all over again.

Yet, all thoughts of Chuck and anything else were washed from her mind as soon as she saw Jack leaning against an electric blue sports car. "That's a Porsche." She spoke in awe as she came to a stop in front of him. It was New York City. No one did the flashy sports car thing; there just weren't enough wide open roads to make it worth it.

Jack nodded with a genuine smile on his face. "A Porsche Carrera GT." He corrected, as he spoke a cherry red car seemed to materialize in the spot on the curb directly behind the blue, immediately followed by an intense yellow one. Gesturing to the new additions, Jack spoke again. "Pick one."

Blair's eyebrows shot into her hairline. What was Jack doing? Why did he have these crazy sports cars? Seriously, no one she knew owned cars like this much less more than one of them. Chuck probably could but Chuck never drove anywhere so he stuck to town cars and limos. She didn't know much about cars but she was fairly certain that the Porsche alone was worth close to $500,000 US dollars and she didn't even know what the other two cars were much less what they cost. It was strange how her opinion of him seemed to change with every new thing she learned about him. Right now she was thinking of the cars about like she thought of his special wine. "Are you serious?" She finally managed to ask.

"Always." Jack responded with a smirk. These cars were special to him and he didn't share them often so it was nice to know that Blair appreciated his surprise.

Blair bit her lip to keep from gaping as she looked between the cars. "The red one." She spoke, an almost giddy laugh escaping as she pointed at the shiny red vehicle.

Jack smiled, uncrossing his arms and stepping away from the blue Porsche. "Ah, the Maserati, my personal favorite." He paused glancing at the blue car and yellow in turn. "It's not as fast as the Porsche or the Buggati but oh the way it drives. There's nothing smoother at 200mph. Don't worry we can try out the others sometime after we arrive at our destination. In fact I think I'll send the cars on their way." He spoke before motioning with his hand to the drivers. Immediately, the cars pulled out into traffic, weaving through traffic at a speed well above the speed limit.

"Are these yours?" Blair asked, further mystified as Jack spoke of the cars' traits and sent the blue and yellow away.

Jack laughed, walking over to the passenger's side of the Maserati and opening the door. "Yes, these are my babies." He spoke, looking at the Maserati fondly.

Blair walked over to where Jack was standing, the door of the car separating them. "They're beautiful."

"I can think of at least one thing that's prettier." Jack spoke, looking into her eyes. His expression conveying just how serious he was. ". . . And rides better too." Jack added with a cheeky smirk.

"JACK!" Blair exclaimed, slapping his shoulder. But even as she did, she couldn't help but laugh. A few months ago she would have smacked him across the face for making a comment like that but now it just seemed funny and so very something Jack would say.

Jack laughed as well. He couldn't help it. When he looked at her all he wanted to do was make her smile and her laugh made his heart soar. "Before you get in I should warn you, that where we're going there's no cell phone service."

Blair smiled again as she slipped into the car. "I couldn't think of something more perfect."

Jack ran around to the other side, hopping in. Even then he didn't start the car. "You realize this means you'll be trapped up there with me; no way of getting home unless you steal one of my cars?"

Blair nodded confidently. "Just drive Jack."

Jack couldn't hide his smile as he turned to face the road and pulled out of the parking spot.

"Since you mentioned it though, where exactly is it that we're going?" Blair asked as Jack navigated in and out of the city traffic.

Jack shot her a smirk. "You'll see when we get there."

"Fine." Blair said with an eye roll. She knew what it meant that she was doing this, even if Jack didn't. She wouldn't be letting him take her somewhere with no way of getting home and no way to tell someone else where she was going if she didn't trust him. It was something that she was already coming to accept, even if he hadn't noticed yet.

They had been driving a while, sometimes talking, usually sitting silently. And though it was silent, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence; it was the kind that was almost soothing, the kind where words didn't need to be said. Jack stole a glance at Blair who was sitting back comfortably; the most relaxed he'd seen her in months. He didn't want to say it, didn't want to jinx it, but she looked happy.

Blair looked over at him. "So what do all of these buttons do?" She spoke, giggling as she pressed a few of the unmarked buttons on the console. She laughed as Jack's face changed to a look of mild panic. She knew he didn't want to anger her or he would have stopped her already.

"Blair . . ." He started, concerned for the car. He knew what all the buttons did and Blair clearly did not. If she didn't stop she would open the trunk or something and he'd have to pull over before they lost their clothes.

As Jack spoke Blair pushed yet another button and laughed in wonder as the roof of the car pulled back.

"BLAIR!" Jack shouted, now over the roar of the wind as he snatched his sunglasses right before they flew off his head.

Blair just continued to laugh as her hair began to whip around her. "I'm done. I promise." She exclaimed, shooting Jack a coy look that she knew would erase any of his anger that wasn't a front. "You're not mad at me are you?" She asked, batting her lashes as she placed a hand on his chest.

Jack just shook his head. If any other girl had done what she had just done to his car he would have tossed her out; hell no other girl had ever been allowed in the Maserati. Once he took a European Princess in the Porsche but never the Maserati. But with Blair he couldn't even stay angry for ten seconds; especially not when she was looking at him like she was in that moment. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he felt a tightening in his pants. With the hand that wasn't on the wheel he took her hand in his and kissed it. As he did he turned his gaze back on the road, but even when her hand was no longer touching his lips, he didn't let go and she didn't move.

After a few miles he thought about closing the sunroof, as a rule he didn't like to expose the Italian leather to the elements, but Blair looked to be enjoying it so much that he didn't want to take it away from her. "You look so happy." He said, glancing at her over his sunglasses.

Blair smiled brightly. "I just feel so free." She closed her eyes and relished the feel of the wind against her cheeks. "I haven't felt like this in so long, maybe ever."

Suddenly, Jack was struck by an idea. "You want to feel free?" He asked rhetorically as he pulled the car over to the side of the wide open road.

"What are you doing?" Blair asked surprised, following Jack with her eyes as he hopped out of the car.

Jack smiled, stepping around to her side and opening the door. "Now that we're out of the city you might as well give it a try."

"What are you doing?" Blair repeated, real alarm setting in as he motioned for her to scoot over.

Jack smiled. "Letting you drive."

Blair's eyes widened with shock as she shook her head defiantly. "What? I can't." She looked between the steering wheel and Jack in shock.

"You have your license right?" Jack spoke with a shrug.

"Yeah. . . But I've only driven once!" Blair amended, seeing that Jack was actually serious.

Jack angled himself to be leaning over her, one hand on the door, one on the side of the car. "It's all straight roads for the next two hours. Not another car anywhere in sight. There's no reason not to . . . unless you're scared, in which case it's-"

A determined look rose to Blair's face as she lifted herself over the console, not even allowing Jack to finish. "I'm not scared." She spoke as he shot her a triumphant glance.

After fiddling for a moment and careful instructions from Jack, Blair was moving onto the road, if somewhat jerkily. "Okay, I think I've got the hang of this." Blair said, trying to keep the nerves from her voice as she started down the road.

"Blair, you're driving 30mph." Jack spoke flatly as he glanced at her. She shot him a look that said don't start with me, but he returned the challenge with raised eyebrows. Blair turned back to the road jaw set determinedly as she allowed her foot to press down on the gas. "Open her up." Jack instructed softly as he placed a careful hand on her thigh.

Blair barely registered Jack's hand; she was so concentrated on the road. Her heart sped dramatically as the car began accelerating rapidly. She couldn't believe the rush that filled her, it was like nothing she'd ever experienced. "Oh my God this is amazing!" She exclaimed as she relaxed into the seat.

"Told you." Jack said with a smirk, slowly rubbing his thumb on her inner thigh.

Blair found herself pressing her foot down a little harder on the gas as she shook her head back and forth sending her hair flying about as she laughed in a moment of absolute happiness.

Jack just smiled at Blair. He'd never seen her look so free, never seen her this happy. He doubted this was the happiest she'd ever been, it was just the happiest she'd ever allowed him to see. He felt as though he was seeing a part of her he'd never seen before. He knew her strength, he'd watched as she'd loved Chuck so much it almost killed her, he knew the snarky bitchy side, but he'd never seen this level of reckless abandon, never seen her so open. As he watched he even saw a certain innocence emerge; what he wasn't ready for was the sudden surge of protectiveness he felt for that part of her. He'd never realized before just how much he wanted her to be happy.

"So this is why you keep cars?" Blair asked finally coming back to the real world. She even began to slow down a little.

Jack nodded. "Driving clears my head; it helps me remember what's important." The last part he added without thinking but as much as it was a reflex for Jack, it was the opposite for Blair.

_**The way you move is like a full on rainstorm  
And I'm a house of cards**_

As Jack spoke, Blair seemed to finally become cognizant of the fact that his hand was sitting on her thigh, his thumb running tiny circles there. She looked briefly at his hand before raising her eyes to his. She felt she should say something but at the same time she felt she didn't need to and after what was only a moment though it felt like forever, she turned her attention back to the road.

Jack could feel the strange vibrations in the car now as he pressed the button to raise the sunroof, hoping that's where the chills were coming from. He couldn't stop looking at her even as the road began to wind and she slowed the car down, clearly no longer confident in her own driving. It had been an hour since either of them had spoken when Jack opened his mouth. "We should probably switch drivers while we can. It looks like it's been snowing up the mountain."

Even as Jack spoke the snow reached them and Blair pulled the car to a stop. She was going to get out of the car when she realized that she'd pulled too closely to the curb and the passengers side door wasn't going to open.

"Do you want to be on top or bottom?" Jack asked, as he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

_**You're the kind of reckless that should send me runnin'  
But I kinda know that I won't get far**_

Blair smacked his arm lightly and tried to laugh but found she couldn't. There wasn't room to laugh with the tension that seemed to have built in the car. She needed out, she needed out now or she didn't know what might happen. "Top" She said quietly as she adjusted herself to climb over Jack as he moved under her.

She was careful as she moved, careful not to touch him, careful to always find a firm foothold; but as she began to move over him their gazes locked and she lost her breath. As she did she slipped.

Jack's hands shot up immediately to catch her but as he did their bodies pressed tightly against each other as she had slid directly between his legs, her chest pressed against his and her face inches from his own. Both of them lay there for a moment eyes connected but other than their breathing, completely still. Neither knew how to move apart without moving closer first, so they sat frozen, his green eyes locked with her brown. As they sat Blair couldn't help but think what a shocking green, his eyes truly were and all she wanted to do was loose herself in those eyes, lose herself in him.

Blair was breathing hard and in that moment all she wanted to do was to close the distance between herself and Jack, slicing through the tension that had been building the entire car ride.

_**And you stood there in front of me  
Just close enough to touch**_

As if he sensed that Blair was losing control, Jack, moving with careful, measured movements, lifted her hips helping her to gain a foothold as he transferred her to the passengers seat, at the same time moving himself to the drivers seat. He didn't wait for a word from Blair before he started the car and resumed driving up the mountain. He couldn't have said anything if he had wanted to at that point. He needed to get out of the car with her before they did something that they didn't mean to do.

Blair couldn't look at Jack, couldn't let herself if she wanted to stay in control of her facilities. What had she been doing just then? How had that even happened? She forced herself to gaze out the window, watching as the snowfall picked up and the amount already on the ground continued to grow.

After another hour of silence, Jack finally pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. "We're here."

Blair opened the door immediately, not even looking at Jack. She inhaled the outside air deeply, thankful for the release from the car although it also made her feel strangely alone. Looking up at the structure in front of her, her breath caught in her throat. "I know where we are."

_**Close enough to hope you couldn't see  
What I was thinking of**_

Jack nodded. "I thought you might once we got here." He paused briefly as he climbed from the car, moving to get their bags. "Have you been here before?"

"No." Blair said softly, walking up to the doorway and placing her hand on the rugged looking side of what could loosely be described as a cottage as the sign claimed; in all actuality it was more of a lodge. "I've only seen photos." Blair inhaled deeply as she traced over the words on the sign 'Bass Family Cottage.' "It's where Chuck's mom came when she was pregnant isn't it?" Blair asked softly as she looked back at Jack, her own hand coming to rest on her stomach. It was the first time she had thought about the baby all day and it was the first time she thought 'what if' in such a long time. As she looked back at Jack she realized that she'd missed her appointment that day to have the baby 'taken care of' and she couldn't fathom the feeling of peace that she felt. She should be anxious to get this taken care of, not strangely peaceful that she missed her appointment.

Jack nodded once more. "Bart had it built for Evelyn on their first anniversary. After he made it big she needed a place to get away from the city. This is only about three hours out but it gave her everything she wanted and needed. There's some ski slopes only about twenty more minutes up the road and they kept sleds and snowmobiles in that garage over there. But yes, Evelyn came here while she was pregnant and I came with her."

_**Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain  
Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain  
Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile**_

Blair smiled slightly, taking her bag from Jack as she stepped inside and began to wander. Jack shook his head slightly as he watched her walking around, moving from room to room. It still drove him crazy sometimes how much she was like Evelyn, at times she even looked like her. When she had disappeared for several minutes Jack went to one of the rooms and changed into something a little more appropriate than a suit for the current environment, pulling his Patagonia over his arms as he walked into the living room at the same time as Blair returned, similarly dressed.

She giggled slightly looking at Jack. "Do I look as out of my environment as you do?" She couldn't get over Jack's laid back mountain man look. The most casual she'd ever seen him was khaki's and a polo, yet he stood before her now in jeans, a turtleneck and a Patagonia jacket.

Jack shook his head smirking at her. "Is it that bad?" He asked, trying his best to look affronted. Blair just shook her head laughing as he huffed slightly. He wanted to laugh at her but he couldn't, she still looked perfectly preppy, like a little ski bunny.

"Come outside and play." She spoke with a grin as she moved towards the door, placing gloves on her hands as she stepped outside.

_**Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down  
Gimme something that'll haunt me when you're not around  
Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile**_

Jack knew he couldn't resist her request as he followed her out, surprised as a snowball hit the side of his face. "This means war Waldorf." He said just as another snowball hit him. Laughing loudly, he spotted her ducking behind the car and moved under cover himself, preparing his ammunition.

Blair knew Jack wasn't watching her as he built up his artillery of snowballs so she set off around the other side of the house until she was following him as he walked to the car, thinking that he was following her. Just as he reached the car and realized she wasn't there she began to pelt him with snowballs from behind. Jack whirled around and scooped her off her feet, tackling her into a large snow pile though being certain to do so gently.

Blair laughed as she rolled them over until she was on top of Jack in the pile of snow. Wiggling her hips seductively over his crotch Jack's mouth fell open. "What are you doing Blair?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked, a slight smirk on her face as she leaned in closer.

_**My mind forgets to remind me  
You're a bad idea **_

Jack growled slightly, flipping her back over, and pinning her in the snow as she laughed. When their eyes met, the laughter ceased and they once more stared at each other strangely. Jack was running out of reasons to break away from her even as he forced himself to climb off. He stood and offered her his hand not quite able to meet her eyes. "Let's go sledding." He said, willing to do anything to break the growing tension. He didn't want her doing anything that she didn't want to and he couldn't help but fear that she was only acting out of emotion.

Blair followed, trying to shake the weirdness that had been building between the two of them all day. As Jack reached the shed and began to pull out the sleds Blair placed a hand on his arm to stop him. "Wait." Everything had gotten too strange, both of them were acting so out of character right now. They weren't the kind of people who avoided things, especially things like this, and right now it felt like they were magnets pulling together only to go flying apart. It was driving her crazy. "What are we doing?"

Jack shook his head slightly, setting down the sled as he stared at her, his eyes showing that he was beginning to let down his guard. "I have no idea." He spoke softly. Taking a step out of the shed, a step closer to her.

Blair responded by matching his step, bringing them only inches apart. Without thinking, Jack placed a kiss on her forehead. Blair hissed lightly, turning her head up to meet his. "Just kiss me already."

_**You touch me once and it's really somethin'  
You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be**_

Jack wanted to, he really did but he couldn't shake his earlier feeling that Blair was just wrung out emotionally from the day she'd had. A kiss with him wouldn't fix that. So with all the willpower he could muster he backed away.

Blair knew the hurt she felt at Jack's action had to be evident in her eyes as she matched his step backward. She couldn't absorb his rejection, not after everything else that had happened today. So all at once her emotions began pouring out. "Seriously Jack? Is this all some kind of game to you?"

"No of course not. . ." Jack started only to be interrupted.

"Are you sure? Because I can't seem to keep track of you lately." Blair spat, taking another step out of the shed. "I mean some days you want me enough to blackmail me into your bed and them some days you can't even stand to touch me. Maybe you could clear this up for me because honestly it's getting a little hard to keep track."

_**I'm on my guard for the rest of the world  
But with you, I know it's no good**_

Jack shook his head slightly stepping towards her, his blood pressure beginning to shoot up at her words. He'd thought they were over this. "You know how I feel Blair."

Blair rolled her eyes. "Do I really? Because it sure as hell doesn't seem like it."

"I don't want to push you." Jack tried to explain, taking another step closer to her, only to have her back away from him once more, turning away as she began to march back towards the house.

She snorted slightly at his comment as she began to walk away. She was so tired of all of this. She had thought he wanted her and she'd begun to think that she was ready but then something like this happened. What the fuck was wrong with him that he couldn't see that she had been trying to tell him that she was ready to really be with him?

Jack jogged to catch up with her, taking her arm to spin her back around. "Don't be like this Blair. I love you. You must know that by now."

_**And I could wait patiently  
But I really wish you would**_

"And yet you don't want to be with me, or at least you don't want to be with me today. Who knows tomorrow you might slip something in my drink or pass me a line of cocaine to get me on my back." Even as she spoke she gasped, that was too far and she knew it.

Jack blanched at her words. "Is that really how you still think of me?" His fists were clenched tightly at his sides to resist doing anything rash. He couldn't believe she'd actually said that, didn't she realize that he wasn't that guy anymore? Didn't she know that she'd changed him?

Blair shrugged slightly, surprising even herself. What was she doing? She'd already overstepped her bounds and if she wasn't careful there'd be no coming back from this. She just wanted to be with him, she didn't understand why he was pushing her away like this.

"Answer me Blair." Jack spoke this time through gritted teeth. "Do you really still think of me like that?" He wanted her so badly and all he was trying to do was give her the time she needed to decide that she wanted him too. Why was she being so rash? It was as though she wanted them to self-destruct.

_**Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain  
Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain  
Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile**_

"Maybe. I mean you might be the most fickle person I know. Today you want me, tomorrow you don't, right Jack?" She mocked tossing her hands around. Why couldn't he see that all she wanted was to jump into his arms and kiss him.

At that he lost it, of all people to call him fickle. "Please, like I can even compete with you on a level of fickleness. You're the one who ran between Nate and Chuck for months, swearing at the end that you were with who you wanted to be with only to start up the same little game with me. And even in our "relationship" if that's what you want to call it, you go back and forth more than I do. What happened to the girl who swore she could never trust a monster like me? Now you stand here telling me that I'm fickle. That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard."

Blair's jaw dropped, this was not going the way she'd wanted. All she wanted to do was to prove to him that he was being an idiot and they should just drop the pretenses. Sure she'd crossed the line but she'd never imagined him becoming so enraged and now he was crossing lines too.

Jack knew he should stop but he couldn't. "God damn it Blair sometimes you're such a child. You have no idea what or who you want! The day you do actually do figure it out they should throw you a fucking parade."

_**Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down  
Gimme something that'll haunt me when you're not around  
Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile**_

"Why don't you tell me how you really feel Jack." Blair spat, unable to avoid the sting of his words.

"I think I just did." Jack spoke, his voice low, his eyes narrowed. At this point he didn't even care anymore. What was the point?

"Maybe I was right about you to begin with." Blair huffed more wounded than she cared to admit, before yanking her arm out of Jack's grasp and stalking away towards the house.

Jack stood there watching her go as his heart pounded furiously in his chest. His behavior had been completely out of line, but right now his whole body felt illuminated with heat and a strange fiery passion that he hadn't felt since the early days with Blair. He didn't know what came over him when it came to Blair but clearly she felt it too.

He knew he needed to cool down, they both did so instead of following her into the house, he made his way over to the fire wood, picking up the axe that was outside. As he chopped at the firewood, his emotions began to return to a more normal pattern and his heartbeat began to slow. Chopping the wood seemed to help him get his thoughts in order as he analyzed just what had set off that last argument. They used to argue all the time, but lately everything had been good almost too good. Perhaps that was it, perhaps, Blair was scared at how good things had gotten, how close they had become.

Even as he analyzed Blair's perspective he realized his own mistakes. She'd practically thrown herself at him and he'd pushed her away. Knowing what she'd been through over the past few months he should have never done that, even if he was only trying not to take advantage of her. He sighed as the realization hit him. Blair felt like he was rejecting her.

Jack looked up ready to go in and apologize only to see Blair standing in front of him, arms crossed as she leaned against the wall of the lodge. He hadn't seen her there as he'd been lost in thought. He wanted to ask her how long she'd been there but didn't see a point. So he simply dropped the axe to the ground. "Hey pretty girl."

She pushed off the side of the lodge and took a step towards him. "Come inside, I've made hot chocolate."

Jack nodded, realizing that the moment they stepped through the threshold everything was going to change. All the tensions that had been building had imploded and now it was time to see what was left. They were committing to opening up with each other, in a way they had never done before. He took a deep breath as he stepped over, following her inside.

He smiled as she led him over near the fireplace where she'd sat several blankets and pillows against the foot of the couch. Immediately he started to make the fire as she returned to the kitchen to bring out the hot chocolate. She returned, setting the drinks down on the table in front of where she'd set up the blankets and pillows. Just as she sat down, Jack finished, turning around as he brushed off his hands. He looked at her, his eyes conveying how sorry he was without him needing to say a word, he did anyway. "I'm sorry for earlier, I shouldn't have said what I did, I shouldn't have pushed you away."

Blair smiled slightly. "I was over the line. Now come sit before the hot chocolate gets cold."

Jack walked slowly to her, bending to a knee before taking a seat next to her on the blankets. For a moment they just stared at the fire as it flickered in front of them; sipping their drinks as they subconsciously moved closer to one another. "I didn't want you to do something out of stress or gratitude, I only want to be with you if you want to be with me."

Blair nodded. "I realized that about ten seconds after I walked away from you." After a few moments Blair turned her head to him. "For the record, I don't think of you that way anymore. I know you aren't the same man you used to be." She knew he'd know exactly what she meant as she moved even closer to him.

Jack tried to return her gaze and found he couldn't as he was forced to look away. Ever since Blair had mentioned the things he'd done to her, he'd been thinking about the kind of man he'd been and the kind of man he wanted to be. "Remember that day in the lawyer's office when I asked if you were going to change me too." Blair gave a slight nod of recognition, that seemed like so long ago, and Jack continued. "You did."

"I know." Blair said with a slight smile as she lifted his arm placing it around her shoulders.

Jack shook his head, that wasn't what he'd meant, but she didn't realize it. "You changed me, you made me a better man but you didn't make me good enough for you."

Blair rolled her eyes. "I think that's for me to decide."

"You don't know everything I've done." Jack said, his voice low, seeming as though it was cracking. He turned his head away from her, but Blair reached up and turned it back.

"Something's bothering you. Something you don't want to burden me with." Blair spoke, her hand against his cheek.

Jack nodded. "It's going to prove I'm not good enough."

"For the last time Jack, that's for me to decide." Blair paused, looking at him with soft eyes that seemed to demand an answer. "You can tell me anything Jack. I want you to tell me." She finished quietly.

Jack inhaled as he forced himself to concentrate on Blair's eyes. "It's my fault Bart's dead. I killed him."

Blair's eyes opened in alarm. That had been the last thing that she'd been expecting. She pulled back slightly but forced herself to remain close. She wanted Jack to explain before she jumped to any conclusions because regardless of all the bad things he'd done, she honestly didn't think that he was capable of killing someone. Though even as she did she couldn't help but recall how Bart's letter had called Jack dangerous. "What do you mean? She asked softly.

Jack closed his eyes, the worst was over, now he just needed to finish it off. "He'd called me to a company meeting in the US last fall to tell me that Chuck was going to be his heir. I tried to change his mind, he told me that the company wasn't what would make me happy. He said that I would be miserable as CEO, said that I needed more from life, that I needed a family. I had no idea how right he was, how well he knew me. I thought that he was just saying whatever he could to get me to let him do this peacefully. And I was so caught up in my anger that I swore he would regret it."

Blair looked at Jack curiously. "Just because you said things that you didn't mean doesn't make you responsible."

Jack laughed darkly, a laugh that frightened Blair. "You don't understand, I did mean them. That's why I did what I did."

"What did you do?" Blair asked hesitantly, still propped up over Jack. Even if Jack was crazier than she'd ever imagined, she wasn't afraid of him, she knew he'd never hurt her.

Jack looked back at Blair, finding himself slipping backwards, remembering things he'd long since tried to forget. "Lily and Evelyn were close back when I was a kid, much closer than most women in our circles. Bart knew they were friends but at this point he wasn't around enough to know the details of their friendship, like the day Lily came to Evelyn crying because she was pregnant with Rufus's baby." Blair's eyes widened but Jack kept going. "I tipped Andrew Tyler off about where to look. I made sure he found out her secret, I wanted to destroy Bart and I knew that destroying his relationship with Lily would do it. I'm the reason he was in the car that night heading to meet Lily and confront her. If it weren't for me he would never have died."

Blair eyes softened, filling with compassion. Jack wasn't any more responsible for Bart's death than Chuck was. "It wasn't your fault Jack. You couldn't have known what would have happened."

"That doesn't change that it's my fault." Jack spoke with a shake of his head. He didn't deserve her absolution.

Blair moved in closer, until she was practically holding him. "Chuck called Bart that night to tell him that Lily and Rufus were together at the Snowflake Ball. The driver changed directions and they headed there to confront her instead of just going and waiting at home." Blair paused letting Jack absorb what she was saying. "It's no more your fault than it is Chuck's. It was a car accident."

Jack couldn't believe the things she was saying, couldn't quite comprehend them. She shouldn't be comforting him, shouldn't be making him feel better, not after everything he'd done to her. "Still doesn't change that I'm not good enough for you."

Blair just shook her head, she wasn't saying it again. "I forgave you a long time ago Jack, I think it's time you forgave yourself."

Jack could feel the swell of his heart in his chest as Blair scooted against him, placing her back against his chest and leaning back against him. It was as though he was falling more in love with her every second. His arms wrapped around her, coming to rest on her stomach. His next words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them. "I know that you're pregnant Blair."

Blair turned her head around to look at him, surprise hitting her quickly. She had been so careful, she had no idea how he'd found out. "How? And how long?" She asked, blinking quickly out of shock.

"For a long time." Jack said quietly before adding. "Since the day I heard you getting sick in the bathroom. I found the test in the office right after you left for your appointment."

Blair's eyes were wide as realization of everything that had been happening the past few weeks began to hit her. "That's why you've been feeding me all the time." Jack shrugged lightly and she continued. "You knew I had an appointment today didn't you?"

Jack nodded almost solemnly. "I wanted to make sure you didn't go."

Blair's eyes shut tightly. She couldn't understand why Jack wasn't more angry, she'd been about to abort what might be his child without his knowledge yet he was the one acting as though he'd done something wrong. "Why aren't you yelling at me?"

"Because I don't want to." Jack said with a shrug. He knew he had the right to be mad but he'd gotten over that so long ago.

Blair just nodded. She kind of knew what he meant. She could be mad at him for tricking her into missing her appointment but she found that she didn't want to do that either. "So what now?"

Jack took her face in his hands and brought his forehead to rest on hers. "Don't get rid of the baby." He pleaded, his eyes begging hers to listen to him.

She should have been expecting his response the moment she knew he knew, yet she still found she wasn't ready to respond to what he asked of her. "I'm not ready to be a mom Jack, no matter how ready you might be to be a dad." She'd known from the beginning that if Jack knew he'd want her to keep it, he was at the point in his life when babies were an option, they were more than that, they were something that people began to long for, she was just so young. There was so much she still hadn't done. "Besides I'd be a horrible mother. I mean really, have you met my mom? That's the best example I have."

"You'd be a great mom." Jack responded softly as he stroked her face. "You take care of people, it's in your nature." Jack breathed softly before speaking again. "You wouldn't have come here today if you really wanted to get rid of the baby. Don't you remember how you felt when you found out that you weren't pregnant?" Jack paused, letting his words sink in. He still remembered how she'd spent that evening crying in his arms because she couldn't handle her feelings. "You'll regret it if you don't have the baby, I know you will."

Blair looked at Jack long and hard. All sorts of emotions rushing through her. She was scared, she was so scared, but at the same time she felt a flutter in her heart, the kind of flutter that excited and frightened her at the same time. She closed her eyes before whispering ever so softly. "Okay."

"Okay?" Jack asked smiling as his eyes popped open, meeting her gaze.

_**I run my fingers through your hair  
And watch the lights go wild**_

Blair nodded, a slight smile rising to her features. "Okay." Blair inhaled deeply before speaking again. "I never wanted to get rid of it. I was just so scared and I didn't know what to do."

Jack tilted his head slightly. "Scared of what?"

"Of being alone." Her voice said breaking slightly. "All I needed was to add a baby to everything else."

Jack pulled back only so that he could really look into her eyes. "You don't have to be scared, I'll always be there for you, no matter what; you can trust that if nothing else."

Blair nodded slightly. "I do, trust you I mean."

Jack's eyebrows rose remembering the day she'd told him that she could never trust him and that's why she could never love him. "You do?"

_**Just keep on keepin' your eyes on me  
It's just wrong enough to make it feel right**_

Blair smiled and placed a kiss on his lips, a kiss so soft and so gentle that she believed could only convey one thing. Pulling away she looked deeply into his eyes. "Haven't you figured it out yet Jack? I love you."

Jack felt as though he couldn't breathe. The happiness that rushed through him was akin to nothing he'd ever felt before. Leaning in he kissed her passionately. Pouring all his feelings into the kiss, he pulled her into him. His hands roamed across her back, over her toned ass and down her thighs.

She wrapped her fingers in his hair trying to pull him even closer to her as she brought herself into his lap letting her kisses trail from his mouth to his jaw all the way to his ear, lightly tracing their path. As she reached his ear she whispered softly. "Make love to me Jack."

When it came to Blair, Jack would never be able to say no but with this, this meant something. "If you don't want to, we don't have to. I don't need that."

Blair smiled and shook her head, rubbing her body against his own. "Didn't you hear me? I love you. This is what I want."

_**And lead me up the staircase  
Won't you whisper soft and slow**_

That's was all the reassurance Jack needed as he stood, picking Blair up by lifting behind her back and under her knees. Walking quickly but carefully he carried her up the stairs.

Blair wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling at him as he carried her. Once he reached the landing of the second floor she leaned up and pressed her mouth to his, kissing him to show him in a way words never could that this was all she wanted.

As he laid her down on the largest bed in the house, he began removing her clothes at what seemed to be an agonizingly slow pace. He went one piece at a time, kissing her softly as he removed her clothing. This was something that he wanted to cherish, he wanted everything to be perfect. He showered her with kisses, starting with the top of her head and moving downward placing kisses on her face, down her neck.

_**I'm captivated by you, baby  
Like a fireworks show**_

As he unclasped her bra he kissed between her breasts, moving to her nipples. Taking one bud in his mouth he flicked it lightly with his tongue smiling to himself as it hardened in his mouth. He gave the other the same treatment before continuing his journey over her soft stomach, glancing up at her as he placed a kiss right on her navel.

Blair was holding onto the bed frame in complete ecstasy as Jack's mouth touched her most sensitive of spots. Within minutes she was shouting for him, shouting how much she loved him as she climaxed.

Jack couldn't help but relish this unbelievable feeling. No matter how many times he'd told her and himself that one day they would be here, that one day they would really be together, he'd never allowed himself to believe it before that moment. Smiling he worked his way back up her body.

_**Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain  
Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain  
Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile**_

Blair brought his head up from exploring her body and placed her lips on his mouth. Kissing him deeply and positioning him with her other hand.

Looking into her open, honest eyes Jack mirrored her earlier movement kissing from her mouth to her ear, making a path along her jaw. As he reached her ear he whispered. "God Blair, I love you so much."

Blair tilted her head upwards and kissed him, drawing him into her. Slowly, he submerged himself inside her. She was tighter than he had remembered, not that Blair had ever been loose. He kissed her again, their moans and groans into each other's mouths only making the experience more erotic. As he pushed in to the hilt, Blair wrapped her lithe legs around his torso. He continued slowly moving in and out of her, wanting this moment, this feeling of being with her to last forever.

_**Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down  
Gimme something that'll haunt me when you're not around  
Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile**_

Blair gasped as she held him tightly to her, moving his head to look into his eyes even as her fingernails dug into his back. She smiled up at him pulling him even further into her. Amazed at how right it felt, completely stunned that there wasn't an ounce of regret in her heart as she gave herself to him in every way she knew how. And for the first time in so long she felt like she was home.

As they moved together, they shared everything they'd been keeping from each other. Jack was amazed at her expertise just as she was amazed at how he strove to be careful and gentle with her. It was as though they had never been together before, it was as though all of it was completely new. Gasping as he reached places she didn't know she had, Blair tightened her grip. She knew that he was getting close by his hardness as he moved inside of her.

Jack could sense that Blair was close to coming and set himself to the task of bringing her pleasure once more before he came within her. They were in sync in a way that neither of them had actually known they were capable of as Jack brought his lips down to capture hers once more they both came until they were completely spent.

_**And the sparks fly  
Oh baby, smile  
And the sparks fly**_

After a few moments they separated and Blair curled into him wrapping her leg across him in a way that was both possessive and an expression of her need to be close to him.

Jack placed a kiss on her forehead, relishing the moment for all it was. As he watched her fall asleep, he held her close, placing a protective arm around her. As he drifted off to sleep he couldn't comprehend the level of happiness he felt because if only for that moment there was nothing else in the world he could want.

**

* * *

I've prepared myself ahead of time for the backlash from this chapter. I'm sorry if it disgusted you or anything of the sort but you were warned. Things are still going to be changing in this story so if you were unhappy with this don't give up hope please. Anyways, thanks for reading. The song is Sparks Fly off Taylor Swift's new album Speak Now. **

**I LOVE LOVE LOVE Reviews :)**

**xoxo  
kate**


	33. A Knife Called Irony

So here it is, the next chapter of What We Don't Remember. The game changer that I've been hinting at for as long as I can remember is here so don't say I didn't warn you.

Thanks to my lovely reviewers especially those of you who busted my butt to get me to upload This one is for you guys. **QueenBee10, mrschuckbass94, blairaholic, wrightangal, D, Sw33tHeart21, Taiyo To Tsuki No Megami, CarolinaGirl21, LesaLevane, annablake, Alisha Winchester, Dana, Tiffany Stillers, LitPrincess2787, CocoMonkeyGirl, LovelyLydia, GGfanficfan09, SouthernBelle88, Penelope, adfds, BedwardEndGame8D, Norreigne, ggff-fan, xmnmxox, jackbass90, tiff xoxo. **

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Rated: The beginning is probably M but only the first scene.

Thanks so much to my AMAZING beta **ggff-fan** for getting this back to me super quickly, you are awesome!

* * *

Jack lightly stroked the dark curls splayed over his chest, not wanting to wake her, not wanting to ruin the moment. Last night had been . . .the best night of his life. And right now here with Blair he had everything he'd ever dreamed of. Jack wasn't supposed to get to be happy, that's just the way the world worked and he'd never come close to the happiness he was feeling right then. He was almost afraid that if he disturbed her, if she woke, this whole alternate universe that he seemed to be inhabiting for the moment would disappear as quickly as it seemed to have come. What if she woke up thinking that everything that happened last night was a mistake? That she'd been caught up in the moment and said things she didn't mean?

Jack was slowly but surely beginning to panic, considering the possibility that he could lose her; but he ran out of time to panic as her eyes began to open, her eyelids slowly fluttering before parting. He simply stared at her, unable to tear his eyes away for fear this would be the last peaceful moment he would have with her; yet at the same time he couldn't help but curse himself for not having faith in her, faith in them. Bracing himself, he watched her lids slide open.

Blair inhaled deeply as she began to awake. She could smell Jack's cologne; it seemed to be everywhere, filling the air, coating her skin. She honestly couldn't believe how good it smelled at that moment. Breathing it in, Blair knew she was forming one of those scent memories, where every time she smelled this scent for as long as she lived she would be brought back to how she was feeling at that exact moment. For a moment she lay there frozen, taking it all in; she could hear his heart beating clearly in her ear as she had her head resting on his chest. She heard as it began to speed and for a moment hers did as well as a fear ran through her like wildfire, why was Jack anxious?

Allowing her eyes to open softly, exposing them to the light of dawn she immediately found Jack's. The moment she did, she smiled. "How long have you been watching me sleep?" She asked softly, her eyes twinkling.

Jack exhaled, still finding that he was anxious, but he did what he could to hide it. "Only a little while."

"Okay." She responded with another soft smile. Though as she looked at Jack she noticed something seemed wrong, something she couldn't put her finger on. Placing a finger on his chest, she lifted herself slightly to better meet his gaze. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Jack shook his head almost imperceptibly. He should have known he wouldn't be able to hide his emotions from Blair, she always knew with him, especially lately. "I was scared."

Blair furrowed her brow. "Why on earth were you scared?" She asked, thinking back to the quickening of his heart rate earlier. Though as he lifted an eyebrow she seemed to understand. "You didn't think that I would have changed my mind did you?" She knew she was reaching but something made her feel that she was reaching in the right direction. However, even as she did so, she couldn't help a slight sense of disbelief.

Watching Blair carefully Jack found himself nodding, desperately fighting his desire to shut himself off and hide his emotions. He'd never done this before, never let himself love anyone, so right now this was petrifying. "I was . . . I am afraid you said things last night you didn't really mean. I wouldn't blame you after everything I've done."

"Jack." Blair interrupted, reaching up a hand and placing it on his face, forcing him to continue to look at her. "I love you." Under her she felt his chest exhale and the look on his face appeared as though a great weight had been lifted. "I promise you, I'm where I want to be."

Leaning his head against hers as he allowed one of his hands to shift, grazing her bare side Jack tried to smile and once more failed. "I don't want you to feel pressured or rushed and more than anything I don't want you to be scared of me because I've done so much to you that, well, you deserve to be scared of me. We don't always love what's good for us."

Blair brought her lips to his, briefly pressing hers to his own before lifting a few inches away. "I have never felt more safe or more cared for than I do when I'm with you. Fear is the furthest thing from my mind. As for the rest of it - you've spent the past few months making up for what you did. And I have a feeling that you don't recognize happiness when it's staring you in the face, or if you do you see it as something fleeting, something that isn't yours." By the look on Jack's face she could see that she'd hit the nail on the head. "Let yourself be happy Jack."

"You're incredible." Jack spoke causing Blair to laugh in a way he could only remember hearing a few times. In that moment she looked just the way she had the day before while driving, she looked so free. "God I love you." He said, a smile finally finding its way back onto his face. Tilting his head forwards he captured her lips and a sense of complete elation filled him. As she adjusted herself to straddle him, bringing him into her, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she truly meant everything she said. His heart felt swollen, like it was too big to be contained by the cavity of his chest, he'd never felt a love like this, a love so powerful that it could change everything.

* * *

Sipping on a glass of scotch, Chuck looked at the clock; it was barely one in the afternoon. This was a new low even for him; but it wasn't like he could help it. He'd woken this morning with an ache in his chest so horrible that he couldn't bear it; the only thing to do was drink. He'd ruined any chance he'd had with Blair and at the same time he'd ruined her; he'd seen the look in her eyes yesterday, he knew he'd broken something inside of her that might never be whole again.

As he pondered his various shortcomings of late he heard his cell phone ring, looking at the caller id, he lifted his brows in surprise; Serena hadn't spoken to him since he'd moved in, why on earth would she be calling him? "Hello sister." He spoke in a slow drawl as he answered, after all it was probably just something for Lily. It wasn't until he heard her voice that he panicked.

Serena's heart was pounding in her ears as Chuck answered the phone. "Oh thank God you answered. Please tell me you've heard from Blair!" She pleaded, running an anxious hand through her blonde hair.

Chuck's brow furrowed and he felt his heart race - it shouldn't of course, Blair wasn't his to worry about anymore, she was done with him and after what he'd done to her she had every right to be. Allowing himself to still be affected by the sound of her name wasn't getting him anywhere. So he forced a calm nonchalance to his voice. "Not since yesterday." Though he couldn't resist adding an almost hopeful word that was anything but nonchalant. "Why?"

Serena wasn't sure what was going on but she had the awful sense that Blair was in trouble. She'd called her the other day asking her to go with her to an appointment, an important appointment; but she had refused to tell her anything else. She'd tried to get more info by resisting but Blair had been so determined not to say anything more and yet so desperate for Serena to go with her. But Blair had missed the appointment and now she was simply gone. Serena was downright going crazy, this wasn't like her at all. Chuck had been her last ditch effort to find her best friend. "Blair had an important appointment this morning and she missed it." Serena spoke, unsure of how much she should reveal to Chuck; or if she should admit how little she knew.

Chuck shrugged even though he knew Serena couldn't actually see him. "So what? Yesterday was a rather intense day for her. She went through a lot in one day. I suppose by now you've heard what I did."

Serena softened her voice slightly. "Actually, what I heard was that you saved her. At least that's what mom says."

"Lily is kind to me. I don't deserve it. I'm the only reason she needed saving." Chuck replied into the phone. "But what I meant was that she probably had to do some kind of emergency damage control."

The hardness and urgency returned full force as she remembered why she'd called Chuck in the first place. "I don't think so. This wasn't a business appointment, it was important and mom hasn't heard from her either. So I came to her house to look for her, not only is she gone, her room is an absolute wreck and one of her suitcases is missing."

Chuck inhaled sharply, even in packing Blair was immaculate, she never left a mess. Fear began washing through him in waves, had she been so messed up over what happened that she'd left town? But even if that was the case, there was no reason that her room would have been like that. "I'll be right over." He spoke, his voice low. He wouldn't fail Blair again, if she needed his help he'd find her and give it to her.

His heart was still thumping in his chest as he rode the elevator up to Blair's apartment. Pressing the button repeatedly he felt the panic setting in. All the way over all he could think was that Blair was in trouble; Blair was in trouble and it was his fault. The second the elevator opened he rushed over to the stairs where he saw Serena sitting near the top, her head between her hands.

Hearing footsteps Serena looked up and met Chuck's eyes. They were the ones who did this, the ones that took off when things got hard, it was never the other way around. She'd never been this scared for Blair in her life. "I'm glad you're here."

Chuck nodded, ascending the stairs quickly. "Let's get to the bottom of this." Walking into her room he gasped, Serena hadn't been exaggerating when she'd said it was a mess; honestly it was hardly recognizable. There were clothes everywhere and whole drawers left hanging open. "Shit." He muttered under his breath.

"What would have caused her to do this? To just cut and run." Serena asked, emotions creeping into her voice. What kind of friend had she been lately to not know enough of what was going on with Blair to know that something was this wrong.

Chuck's eyes continued to scan the room, taking in every detail; from each scattered item of clothing, to which items of make up were missing, even whether or not her perfume was there, his eyes at last landing on a cell phone half sticking out from under one of the pillows of the bed. "Blair didn't do this."

Serena looked at him strangely. "What are you talking about Chuck? You can't honestly think she was kidnapped."

"Jack's been here." He spoke darkly. "Jack took her somewhere."

Serena looked at Chuck as though he'd grown two heads. "Don't be crazy Chuck, you don't know that."

Chuck nodded. "Actually I do. Blair would never have left like this herself, someone else has been in here, the smell is all wrong, and that" He said gesturing towards the cell phone he'd spotted. "That is Jack's cell phone."

* * *

Jack almost meticulously arranged the items on the tray he was taking to Blair; everything had to be perfect. He'd fixed her an array of items, from blueberry pancakes, to a bowl of fresh fruit, to poached eggs with hollandaise over ham, to sausage and biscuits, a small bowl of yogurt, and even a side of potatoes, he'd also placed on the tray milk and orange juice not sure which she would prefer. Gingerly he carried the tray into the bedroom, opening the door carefully with his foot. If he had timed this correctly Blair would just be getting out of the shower. He smiled as he spotted her, emerging from the bathroom, robe wrapped around her as she towel dried her hair. "Hey there pretty girl."

Blair smiled in recognition of the nickname he'd begun to use, finding her cheeks redden at the realization that it still made her blush. Though as she turned around and saw what he was carrying her smile widened further, though this time it was tinged with awe. "Is there anything you don't do well? I mean you build fires, drive cars, fix my life, and cook?" She asked observing the practically overflowing tray, filled with her favorite breakfast foods.

Jack smirked. "It's my age, it's turned me into a Jack of all trades - no pun intended." He spoke placing the tray on the bed.

Blair sighed with a shake of her head. Sometimes she forgot how much more life he'd lived than she had. One wouldn't normally think that twelve years was that long but there were times that it felt like ages. "You know I can't eat all this right?"

"I'll help." Jack said with a smile as they sat down on either side of the tray. For a few moments, they were quiet as they shared the food. It was well past noon and both had gotten hungry. The silence was intermingled with occasional jokes or laughter, or cute comments. Jack couldn't help but observe that they appeared to be a couple completely and totally in love. Almost subconsciously, her reached under the tray and took her hand in his with a smile.

Finishing most of what was on the tray, Blair moved it to the side table and turned to study Jack, he looked so relaxed so content and in this moment everything was completely perfect. Though as perfect as everything was she couldn't help but be anxious about what was to come. They could make grand statements and pledge their love but in the end that wasn't real life. No matter what they said about how strong they were and how they would take whatever came, facing it would be different. The perfection that they'd found was going to be trampled on the moment they returned to the real world. Blair hadn't meant to say anything for now, they still had a few more days before they had to worry about such things but she felt the words slipping from her tongue without her approval. "What are we going to do when we get back to the city?"

Jack tilted his head curiously. He'd known this conversation would come eventually, he just hadn't expected it quite yet. But he'd still prepared his answer. "I suppose we'll figure it out in time. I mean, we can't really plan out anything until we know how people will react. But it's not important, we can't let other people's opinions overwhelm us."

Blair nodded, understanding what he said and believing that he believed it but at the same time she knew there were some realities they wouldn't be able to sidestep or avoid. "I mean, what are we going to do if the baby isn't yours?"

"You mean if it's Chuck's?" Jack asked, looking at her discerningly. Blair nodded and Jack sighed, giving the answer that he'd known he'd give from the start. Taking both of Blair's hands in his, he locked his eyes with hers. "He never needs to know."

Blair looked at Jack rather skeptically, knowing what he said couldn't work. "Jack" She spoke tentatively, knowing that what she said next wasn't going to make him happy. "He knew I might be pregnant, he won't believe us. And you didn't talk to him; he might have given up on being with me but that's only because he thinks that I will never be with him again after everything he's done. If he thought there was a way to get back into my life he would take it in a heartbeat."

Jack held her hands a little tighter, almost as though Chuck was going to reach in and snatch her away at any moment. "The test was negative, he'll think you got pregnant later. We'll assure him you got pregnant later." He found that he was almost pleading with her as he spoke. This was not the reaction he'd really expected from her though it appeared to be what he was going to get.

"He's Chuck, he'll figure it out." Blair spoke with a shake of her head. Jack sounded like he really believed what he was saying but Blair knew differently. She knew Chuck, dealing with this was going to be their reality. "Even if it was true that I wasn't even seeing him any more when I got pregnant he wouldn't believe us."

Jack looked at her discerningly. "You know I'd almost think that you want this to be harder than it has to be."

Blair shook her head continuously. "You don't understand. He'll ask questions and then when he doesn't like the answers he'll ask more questions and then he's going to fight like hell. He'll force a paternity test, he'll want to be a part of the baby's life if it's his, and he'll want me to be with him. And honestly I can't keep this from him. If it's his he has a right to be in the child's life."

Jack reached out and stilled her head, placing a hand on her cheek. He could feel his temper building, he was getting frustrated with her inability to leave Chuck out of this. He didn't want his nephew anywhere near her anymore, not with their history and there was a dreadful feeling in his stomach that said that if the baby was Chuck's, they would never again be away from him. "He didn't even want you to be pregnant, he'll try to make you get rid of it." Jack exclaimed.

Blair bit her lip, placing her hand over Jack's. "Not once he realizes that there's no way I'm going to do that. I know Chuck in a way you don't. We talked about having kids once, we talked about the fact that he wanted to be the kind of father Bart wasn't. He'll never let another man raise his child." Jack turned his hand, lacing his fingers through hers and bringing them back down. Blair squeezed his hand tightly. "I know it's not what you want to hear but if it's his, he deserves the chance to do right by his child."

A calm understanding washed over Jack, like a gentle wave reaching the shore and covering his feet. All of her protests and rationalizations became clear in that moment. "You're still in love with him." Jack said as he exhaled. He knew there was a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone and she was the latter.

Pursing her lips tightly, her brow furrowing Blair knew that she had to answer him truthfully. If she lied now then there was no going back and one day something would happen that would ruin everything. Not to mention the fact that if she lied about this it meant more than it did. So calmly she answer Jack's question the only way she could; with the truth. "Yes."

Jack inhaled shakily, hardly believing what he was hearing, yet at the same time feeling something in his heart that told him he'd known that she was still in love with him. "After everything he did to you, you still love him. He tried to ruin you and almost did." He spoke, his voice not angry but sad with just a slight tinge of bitterness.

"You can't institute a double standard here Jack." Blair said softly.

Narrowing his eyes, Jack wanted to shake her. What Chuck had done - laying a hand on her - was inexcusable. "I may not have finished forgiving myself for what I did yet but I've worked for months atoning for what I did."

Blair tilted her head slightly, remembering that she knew something Jack didn't. "Chuck spoke before the board. He owned up to everything, knowing that it could damage the chance of him ever being CEO again." She watched the surprise hit Jack, much akin to the surprise she'd felt herself upon hearing the news. It was important when it came to Chuck because he'd finally learned that the one thing that he'd thought was the most important wasn't. Now when she wasn't his and in his mind probably never would be again, he'd forfeited forever the thing that had been their biggest problem - his loving the company more than her. But Blair knew Jack still wouldn't understand.

"I'd already forgiven him because honestly I knew why he did what he did and then he did what he could to fix it. He's changed." She spoke trying to explain herself. No matter what Chuck did, she was never going to stop loving him. "I can't just turn it on and off Jack. You know I tried not to love you; I denied it for a long time even after my heart had told me otherwise. But there are things that you just can't fight and it wouldn't be any good for us to pretend that wasn't the case."

Jack simply nodded, his mind moving too quickly for him to keep up. Jack paused and looked away realizing that Blair would always be choosing between the two of them. The realizations were crashing over him in wave after wave and it was crushing him. This was never going to be over. She was never going to be free of this horrible war inside of herself. "Damn it." He cursed under his breath as he pulled away from her and stood up. Walking to the dresser he began to pack her things in the suitcase he'd brought her. He shook his head, it was funny, he'd packed these clothes thinking that this weekend would be the beginning of everything, not the end.

"What are you doing Jack?" Blair asked, panic rising in her voice.

Jack didn't answer, he just kept meticulously on with his task. He was afraid if he spoke to her then everything his heart was telling him he had to do would be overrun by what he really wanted.

"I said, what are you doing?" Blair repeated, her voice raising further, a bit of shrillness evident.

Jack locked his jaw, refusing to look at her. "I'm packing your things." He spoke, keeping his voice monotonic.

Blair inhaled, trying to keep her voice steady as she felt herself begin to shake. "I see that, but why?"

Jack chuckled darkly. "I finally figured it out and it turned out to be just a sick joke on me." It really might be the most ironic thing that had ever happened to him. He thought he'd already come to this point but it turned out he hadn't until just a few minutes ago. The very day he finally got the thing he wanted the most he realized that it was something he would never be able to have. He had finally learned the lesson that lay within all of it for him; strangely right after Chuck had learned it himself. The biggest worry he'd had about really falling in love with Blair had always been the fear that one day what she wanted or more importantly what she needed would be more important to him than his own needs; right now he knew what he had to do and to do that he had to be strong enough for both of them.

"Don't you get it Blair?" He asked as he turned around with a smirk to a shell shocked Blair. "I'm loving you enough to let you go." He heard her sharp intake of breath and watched her head start to shake but he only smiled. "Don't fight this. You're going to go home. . ."

"NO!" Blair interrupted bluntly, refusing to believe what he was saying.

Jack just kept smiling gently no matter how much it was hurting him on the inside, he knew what he was doing was right. "Blair, you're going to go home and you and Chuck are going to work things out." He finished, certain of himself as he turned back to packing for her.

"No." Blair repeated as she continued to shake her head. She could feel tears prickling at her eyes. "I told you. I've made my decision. I want to be with you."

Jack folded the last garment and zipped the bag before turning back to her. "For now."

Blair felt complete disbelief raging through her. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. "Jack when I said I still loved Chuck, that didn't change anything. You're the one that I want to be with. The one I want to raise this baby with. You make me feel safe and loved and I'm completely in love with you."

Taking a single step forward, Jack came to the foot of the bed. "You are the one who doesn't understand. This is never going to end." Every word he spoke was like a knife through his own his heart. All he wanted to do was be with her and give her everything she deserved but those things were mutually exclusive. He wouldn't force her to continue hurting for any longer. "You said it yourself; you can't control the way you feel and you are never going to be able to stop loving him. Some part of you no matter how big is always going to love him, is always going to want to be with him."

Jack pursed his lips tightly, fighting back the pain and tears that wanted to emerge. "You are going to be torn to pieces as you fight your feelings for one of us and I won't let that happen. I won't cause you any more pain. So I'm making the decision to stop this now before it's too late and it ruins you." Bringing the soft smile back, he brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "I would have never been able to do this if I didn't truly think that Chuck had learned how invaluable you are. What you told me a few minutes ago is what made me realize that while all along I thought that it was Chuck that didn't get it, it turned out to be me. Don't worry, you'll get over me in no time."

Blair reached out and grabbed his hand, he didn't understand, he was wrong, she'd make him understand. "You don't get to make this decision for me Jack. I made a choice by coming here with you. I knew what Chuck had done and I still chose you." She finished with a sincere smile.

"Which leaves us at an impasse," Jack said smiling his normal cavalier smile, "Because I choose your happiness instead."

Desperation began to flood her as she realized Jack wasn't being swayed. Looking at him with new eyes she pleaded. "You promised you wouldn't leave me."

"And I won't." He spoke as he pulled his hand away from her and moved back a step. "Whatever you need during your pregnancy I'll be there and if the child is mine I will be a part of their life."

Blair shook her head fervently. "That's not the same." She could feel the tears prickling once more; angry, confused tears that she didn't want to let fall.

Jack nodded his acquiescence. "No, it's not. But this won't end until someone bows out, so I'm bowing out." He explained simply with a shrug.

A sudden rush of anger swept through Blair and she fought through the tears, mentally warning them not to fall. "How dare you!" She shouted. "How dare you presume to tell me what I want. What I feel!"

"I won't put you through this emotional tug of war. I've seen it, you can be happy with Chuck and you love him." Jack said knowing that it was coming to a time that he would have to leave whether she understood or not.

Shaking her head defiantly, Blair set her jaw. "You don't even know that Chuck will take me back." Her voice beginning to crack at the end of her statement.

Jack ran a hand over his head. Who would have ever thought that this would be him, being the better man? "Yes I do." He spoke as much as he hated the words. "You said it yourself he wants you back and once he knows about the baby, he'll fight for you anyway." Jack paused briefly, taking her form in from the beautiful curls that had been drying during their conversation, to her face that was beautiful without a single spec of makeup, to her gorgeous body, he would never have this view of her again. "Now, I'm going out to the store, when I get back you should be gone." He sat a pair of keys down on the dresser. "My Porsche is here so I'll take it out. Take the Maserati back."

Crawling forward on the bed, Blair grabbed his arm, desperation filling her being, this couldn't be happening, her world was falling down around her all over again. "Damn it Jack, you can't leave, I won't let you."

Bending down Jack placed a kiss on her forehead. "Goodbye pretty girl." She pulled back and pressed her mouth to his. Smiling through the kiss as she felt him deepen it on his own. She was kissing him with everything she had left in her, every ounce of desire. As they broke for air she spoke through gasps, her voice low and husky. "You can't tell me you don't want to be with me."

"You're right." Jack said wrenching himself away. "But I refuse to put you through the torment of spending your entire life choosing."

Holding onto his shoulders, Blair wouldn't let him go. "I made my choice Jack, I won't let you leave me. You don't get to decide this." She spoke furiously. "You don't get to just send me back to Chuck like none of this ever happened." Her voice cracked as he pulled back but she still held fast onto his hand.

Knowing how much his next words were going to hurt both of them Jack braced himself, steeling his emotions because he just couldn't do it anymore; especially when his next statement was going to completely settle all of this. "Did you ever think that maybe I don't want to spend my life wondering when you're going to go back to him? Especially if the child turns out to be his. What happens to me when one day you decide that the three of you should be a real family? I'll lose everything. Maybe this is as much for me as it is for you. Now go back to the city princess." As he spoke he knew that it wasn't how he really felt, he knew to be with her would be worth any pain but he had to say it to get her to let him leave her.

Blair grasped for him frantically. "I love you." She spoke, her emotions beginning to pour from her very core.

Jack wrenched himself away. "Don't be here when I get back." He spoke, his voice cold and devoid of any emotion as he turned and walked away.

Blair sat there for a moment completely shell shocked. That hadn't happened, it hadn't. The one person who swore they would never leave her hadn't just left her with instruction to get out immediately. After ten minutes of sitting completely still, ten minutes since she'd heard the front door slam she jerked herself out of it.

Running her hands through her hair she fought through the emotions coursing through her. If Jack didn't want her, she sure as hell wasn't going to stick around any longer. She'd go back to Chuck and she'd throw it in his face every day for as long as he would stand by and watch. Grabbing her bag and the keys Jack had left her she fled the bedroom. Hurrying down the stairs she didn't even take a second look around the cabin, making a beeline for the front door.

The first thing that she noticed upon exiting was that it had to have been past six o'clock as it had grown dark, it wasn't like they had been keeping track of time or had even opened the curtains throughout the day. Which is why the second thing she noticed was that the air was frigid and there was several inches of snow on the ground.

Opening the Maserati, she slung her bag into the passenger seat and jammed the key into the ignition. She backed up as though she'd been doing it a million times a day since she was sixteen, tearing out of the driveway like a bat out of hell, God knows she wasn't going to be there when he got back, she wouldn't embarrass herself further by doing that.

She didn't know how long she'd been driving, replaying the entire situation over and over again in her head that the emotions began to force their way through. God what a fool she'd been.

The pain became too much as the tears she'd been fighting since Jack had told her he was leaving her, flooded her eyes, overflowing and pouring down her cheeks.

The sobs began to wrack her body as she realized that she'd now lost the person that had become the most important person in the world to her.

He took care of her, he was her rock, she couldn't do any of this without him.

She didn't care about the fact that there was snow pouring down or the ice on the road, she needed to get out of here she needed to get somewhere she could simply curl up in a ball and cry.

The tears were clouding her vision as she drove, causing her to be thankful that these roads were deserted.

Placing her head on the steering wheel as the tears became too much to bear she looked up just in time to see a deer before her in the road.

Swerving, Blair jerked the car into the other lane unable to see much of anything in the darkness. All she saw was the brightness of the headlights of another car in the next seconds and though she tried to jerk the car back into the other lane she was too late as the oncoming car slammed into her and everything went black.

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**I am working on an update but it will probably be about two weeks. I'll try to get it out faster though because I'm sure you're all anxious to discover what exactly has happened. **

**Please Review, ****It's important to me!**

**xoxo  
kate**


	34. Crash Into Me

Sorry for the delay – I've been having problems with anonymous reviews on one of my other stories lately and it got me in a bit of a funk. However I assure you that I am working my way out. Unfortunately these next three weeks until spring break I am slammed with test so though I'm going to try to get at least one more update out before spring break it MIGHT be a month.

**Anyways, thanks to my reviewers: **LisaLevine, QueenBee10, Curious Blonde, wrighthangal, Sw33tHeart21, tiff xoxo, CarolinaGirl21, D, LitPrincess2787, Alisha Winchester, annablake, mrschuckbass94, liv07, GGfanficfan09, LovelyLydia, **and **rolling0916. **You guys were so awesome this week with your super long reviews. It was really quite inspiring. I know many of you are split various directions on this fanfic so bear with me I still promise the double epilogue (which is coming along quite nicely if I do say so). **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything (though my characters are so OOC by now that I kinda do lol).

Thanks as always to my awesome beta** ggff-fan **who manages to juggle all of my fanfics at the same time. Seriously girl you are awesome!

**

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6:23 am - Westchester Medical Center**

"They're both still here?" The doctor asked as he walked over to the nurses station that looked out over the waiting room. He'd been in surgery for almost eight hours yet the two men who'd come in with the young woman still remained.

The nurse on call nodded, sleepily. "They haven't said a word to one another since I got here." She'd been watching the pair since she'd finished her rounds around midnight and they were still sitting there. The younger of the two's eyes looked like never-ending pits of darkness while the older of the two looked as though he believed his entire life was over; she'd never seen someone look quite so destroyed. Her first thought upon seeing them was why they were still there? It was obvious both had minor injuries, they both looked beaten up, both had several sutures and scratches on their hands and arms, some of them rather severe. "Who are they anyway?"

The doctor sighed and gestured towards one of them. "One of them's the guy who pulled the girl I just operated on out of the car."

"And the other?" The nurse asked raising an eyebrow.

Removing his scrub cap, the doctor looked down at his hand. "The other's the guy who hit her."

**Six Hours Earlier**

Chuck sat across from Jack, taking the other man's appearance in. He couldn't help but wonder who looked worse. Jack's arm was bandaged tightly, there was a scratch along the side of his face, and he had a deep gash in his leg. Looking at his own hands, Chuck saw the scraps and burns, his fist looked wrecked. He knew his face was probably banged up too but he hadn't looked in a mirror, he couldn't even think right now, much less care about himself.

They'd arrived at the hospital almost two hours ago but neither he nor Jack had said a word to one another since they left the crash site. Chuck's stomach was turning in knots, God he hated hospitals. For anyone else he wouldn't still be here, he couldn't, he wasn't strong enough, but this was Blair, and this was all his fault. For her, he had to be strong.

They wouldn't tell them anything, only that she was in surgery. Right now the Bass name was doing him no good and all Jack did was sit there staring at his hands. Blair had to be okay, she had to be. God damn it how had this happened? Why had she been with _him_?How had they gotten here? Leaning back in his chair he let his head fall against the wall.

_Serena shook her head as she glared at her step brother. "You don't know why his cell phone ended up here, maybe Blair had it or something trying to get information on him. She'd never let Jack in her bedroom." _

_Chuck narrowed his eyes. "Do you really know that little about your own best friend? I mean really Serena, are you that oblivious?" He paused but Serena didn't answer. It didn't matter; Chuck already knew she'd been an awful friend lately. "Jack's been the one holding Blair together lately, I'm the one she'd never let in her bedroom." _

_"Do you really think she's gone somewhere with him?" Serena asked cautiously. She didn't know what she believed right now, she was certainly still on the fence about whether or not she thought Jack had been there but clearly Chuck thought otherwise. She could see him clenching his fist and relaxing repeatedly rather than answering her question. "Before you freak out why don't you call down to the front desk and see if he was even here."_

_Chuck looked at her strangely before giving her the darkest smirk he'd likely ever given. "I know something better." He replied, his voice low, before cupping his hands over his mouth and calling out. "DOROTA" Immediately hearing shuffling he let his lips form a tight line as Dorota appeared in the doorway. _

_Narrowing her eyes at the boy who broke Miss Blair's heart Dorota thought briefly before speaking. "What you want Meester Chuck? You shouldn't be here, Miss Blair wouldn't want you here."_

_Chuck shot a knowing glance at Serena before turning his attention back to Dorota. "Was Jack here?" He asked curtly rather than answering any of her questions. _

_Dorota smiled as she nodded, she had grown quite fond of Meester Jack in the last few weeks, she thought he treated Miss Blair very well. "Yes, Meester Jack came and took lots of Miss Blair's stuff in a hurry. He very very happy; he say he and Miss Blair were going on a trip; not be back for few days." _

_Chuck nodded and faced Serena once more, the look on his face saying 'I told you so' more than words ever could. Serena nodded biting her lip. "What are you going to do?" She asked softly._

_Chuck shrugged his shoulders lightly as he took a seat on the edge of Blair's bed. "There's nothing I can do, she picked Jack." _

_Serena shook her head. "You can't be serious?" _

_Chuck raised his eyebrows, shooting Serena his patented 'are you crazy look.' _

_"This is Jack Bass we're talking about!" Serena exclaimed vehemently. "I might have been a sucky best friend the past few weeks but you forget I was there when Blair was trying to win you back. I know what he did to her, I know what that man's capable of, so does Blair, and for that matter so do you. You can't just leave her alone with him." _

_Chuck looked back towards the wall rather than keep his gaze on Serena. "There's nothing I can do about it. I don't even know where they are." _

_Serena crossed her arms. "You're Chuck Bass, you can find them." _

_Looking back towards Serena, Chuck began to consider her words for the first time. He knew he could find them, the question was should he. Yeah Jack was a manipulative bastard but he wouldn't hurt Blair, would he? _

_Serena could see that Chuck was starting to waver. "Jack's dangerous Chuck. Who even knows if she went with him of her own free will?"_

_Snapping his head towards Serena, Chuck felt his heart pound. "Even Jack wouldn't do something like that." Pausing he felt his heart begin to override his head as all the blood in his body raced upwards. "But that doesn't mean that it's safe for her to be somewhere alone with him. My uncle is a disturbed man, there's no telling what he might do to her."_

Chuck felt his mind jerked back to the present as Jack abruptly stood from his seat across the room. Thinking of the past wasn't doing him any good but right now anything was better than this awful sense of waiting, it had to be. He halfway hoped that Jack was standing to come across the room and confront him because at least it would be something other than the wait.

As Jack stood from his chair, he gave no inclination that he even knew Chuck was there, walking past him like he didn't exist. He needed something to do, anything to do. Making his way to the snack machine in the corner he struggled to remove his wallet from his back pocket - the bandage on his arm made movement difficult. Managing to withdraw from his wallet, a few dollars he once more struggled with the task of putting the bills in the machine. Focus on the task at hand Jack, focus. He kept repeating for fear that he would relapse into memories of her.

When the machine simply ate his money without releasing a snack, he slammed his foot into the machine. "God damn it." He cursed kicking the machine again. He wasn't hungry, probably wouldn't have been able to force himself to eat it but he couldn't keep doing nothing.

_Jack's hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. He wondered what she was doing, if she had left yet. The last image of her in his mind was as she held onto him, pleading that she loved him, it felt like a knife in his gut. He hadn't looked back after that, if he had he wouldn't have been able to leave her. _

_She was so fragile but yet she was stronger than she even knew. She would be okay, she'd make it through this without him; she had to because he saw what she couldn't. She admitted to loving them both but she couldn't see the damage that would do to her. There was a burning in his gut telling him that she loved him and that he was throwing it away but his heart knew more, his heart knew he was giving her the one gift that he could. _

_Fuck, how far away was the convenience store? He would have sworn that he would have been there by now. He needed a cigarette, he needed one desperately. It'd been months since he'd last smoked - he'd quit because it disgusted her then after he discovered the pregnancy, he would have never dared to smoke around her. _

_Laughing darkly he shrugged, it didn't matter anymore. And right now he needed a cigarette. _

Jack returned to his seat, kicking another chair along the way. The nurse on call walked over. "Would you like me to fix the machine? I should be able to get . . ."

"It's fine." Jack snapped, jerking his head away. What he really needed right now wasn't food, it was a cigarette but he'd never actually made it to the store.

As the nurse walked past, Chuck looked at her with desperate eyes. "Still no word?" In return the nurse simply shook her head and walked back to her station.

Watching Jack with narrowed eyes, he tried to wrap his mind around everything that had happened but he couldn't. He wasn't even sure what had gone on with Jack and Blair up on the mountain. He knew what he thought had happened, but what if he was wrong? No he wouldn't accept that, he thought as he slammed his head against the wall a few times. God he didn't know what he'd do if she didn't make it. He should have been faster, figured things out sooner, done something different.

_"So Blair Waldorf did leave with Jack Bass?" He spoke, as he glanced back towards Serena. "Do you know where they were going?" _

_Serena watched as Chuck's mouth set itself into a firm line. It was clear that he was not happy with whatever was being said, but honestly neither was she._

_As Chuck clicked off the phone he immediately called his PI, saying barely any words. "Find Jack Bass." He spoke lowly before hanging up and facing Serena. "Caroline, Blair's assistant, doesn't know where they went, only that Blair left with him."_

_"Chuck I really don't think this is okay." Serena spoke shaking her head. "I think Jack's blackmailed her into going with him or something. I mean, even if Blair's learned to tolerate him she doesn't trust him, not like this." _

_Chuck pressed his lips together remembering something he'd thought he'd forgotten. The morning that Blair stopped the merger and became CEO she'd said something to Jack swearing that she would never trust him and that's why they couldn't be together. Thinking back to her words, Chuck knew that she'd meant them. Serena was right about this - through everything that had always held true, Blair did not trust Jack._

_Panicking, Chuck began to scour the room with his eyes. Stepping into her closet he saw something he wasn't expecting to see. Blair's jeans were missing, so was her Patagonia and her North Face wear. In fact all of her ski type of clothing was missing. "No." Chuck hissed quietly. _

_Serena had followed him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "No what Chuck?"_

_Wincing Chuck faced her. "I think you're right about Blair not leaving with Jack but what's worse is I know where he's taken her."_

_"Worse? Why is that worse?" Serena asked her eyes wide and confused. _

_Pursing his lips Chuck ran a hand over his head. "I don't want to go there. I can't believe he would take her there of all places." _

_Serena continued to shake her head confused. "I still don't understand where he took her."_

_Chuck swallowed hard and met her gaze, his voice choking on the words. "My mom's cabin." He paused for only a second as he made the only decision he could. "But it's okay because this time I'm not going to let him hurt her. I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago, I'm going to bring her home." _

Jack grasped his knees while sitting in his chair trying to get them to stop bouncing; but it didn't seem to help. His stomach was flipping over and over again and he felt as though his chest was about to split open. His mouth was shut tightly for fear that if it wasn't he would start screaming and shouting but there was no one to shout at but himself.

Unable to contain his nervous energy anymore he stood from his chair, beginning to pace the waiting room. He could feel his hands shaking, fisting them and pressing them against his sides did little to stop it. It was as though something in side him was working himself up until it would combust. What had he done?

_The cigarettes, that's all he needed. If he could just get a cigarette he would be fine; it would calm him down and he'd be able to be himself again. No more Blair inside his head telling him how much the smell disgusted her. Never again. _

_No more reminders of everything he'd done to her. He didn't have to think about what a monster he'd once been every time he looked at her. _

_Never again would she scold him for being late to the office. Every time she'd threaten to fire him. He'd put in for a transfer first thing Monday morning. It was time. Maybe it was even time to leave Bass Industries all together. That part of his life was behind him. _

_And of course he wouldn't have to deal with all of the pregnancy mood swings. At that thought he felt a twisting sensation in his gut. If the child was his he might never be a part of its life. He could handle the fact that he wouldn't always be there, knowing that the child had Blair for a mother. Not that he wouldn't try to be a part of the child's life, he'd never abandon his child, no matter the situation, but things would be different now. _

_There would be no more bringing her food and listening to her complain as he forced her to eat it. _

_The way she used to challenge him with those sarcastic remarks that always cut so deeply. She was the one person who he'd ever seen as an equal. _

_He'd never get to hear her laugh or smile, he'd never make her laugh or smile again; that would be Chuck's job from now on. God he loved making her smile and that laugh, the one she had when she didn't really mean to laugh. _

_Her voice as she said that she loved him was still ringing in his ears. He could hear it echoing within his head, feel it ricocheting throughout his body. Every inch of his body was vibrating with thoughts of her, he could feel her in every breath. She was in his heart, in his head, in his veins, there was no escaping her. His whole body felt as though he was going through withdrawal and he was beginning to shake. _

_There was a swelling in his heart over all the things that he was sure to miss now that he was leaving her behind. His throat was tightening until it felt like he was choking. His foot hit the break before he even thought about what he was doing. _

_As the car jerked to a stop he watched as though through another's eyes as his hands yanked the wheel around, doing a three point turn without a recognizable cognitive thought. And then he was speeding back the other direction. _

Chuck watched as Jack paced the room, as he did a gnawing feeling grew in his gut. Jack was worried sick. The man looked as though his entire world was crashing down around him. He felt exactly the way that Jack looked. He was wrong.

The conclusion shook Chuck and he sat there frozen. He'd been wrong about Jack and Blair. The look on Jack's face right now was a look of complete and total anguish, a look that Chuck had never before seen matched by another person.

Reaching down to his bandaged hands, Chuck began scratching at the material. How could he have been so ridiculous. Jack hadn't kidnapped Blair and he certainly hadn't hurt her. Chuck had done much more damage to Blair in recent weeks than Jack looked to be capable of.

His uncle was really and truly in love with Blair; a knowledge Chuck had been denying for so long that it didn't even make sense anymore. If he was honest with himself, Chuck had known that Jack loved her and she loved him a long time ago, he just hadn't wanted to admit it. That's why he'd gotten so angry when he'd seen them kissing; he realized Blair's love for Jack before even she had. He should have been the better man. If he'd been the better man and let Blair go when he'd known, then they wouldn't be here right now. He'd been such an idiot.

_Chuck's long fingers tightened on the wheel as he drove down a road he'd never actually driven before. He knew exactly where he was going once he got off 87; there was only one road to the Bass Cabin, you simply had to drive it until you reached the top. _

_Serena had wanted to come with him and Arthur had wanted to drive him but this was something he had to do himself, no one else could be there. It was time he fixed everything he'd fucked up over the last several months starting with saving Blair. _

_God he was going to kill that Basstard for ever laying a hand on her. He'd torture him, make him wish he'd never been born. Every thought of what he'd do to end Jack, had Chuck pressing his foot further down on the gas pedal. He had to get there he had to save her from his uncle, the monster. _

Blair hadn't needed saving from Jack, she'd needed saving from him. Jack was the one who did that. Jack took her away from the mess that Chuck had made for all of them, Jack protected her. Chuck watched Jack as he paced over to the wall, leaned his back against it and slid down.

"God it's all my fault." Jack said, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes and resting his elbows on his knees; anything to stop the tears threatening to come. But doing so simply blacked out his vision, causing him to think once more about what he'd done.

_He couldn't do this, couldn't leave her, couldn't let her go. He loved her too damn much. He'd made the wrong decision._

_Jack's heart was pounding; his body still on autopilot. He had to get back soon enough to stop her. "Please let it be soon enough" he spoke to himself as he pressed down the pedal of the car. If she'd left then he'd lost her for good. _

_Even if he did get back in time he'd said such awful things to her. She might never forgive him. He'd abandoned her at her most vulnerable. She'd given him everything and he'd left her there alone. She'd agreed to have this baby with him, admitting that her greatest fear was having it alone, yet he did just that and left her. What had he done?  
_

_Praying it wasn't too late, Jack kept speeding towards the cabin. He had to get there in time, he just had to; there wasn't another option. _

Watching Jack's self destruction, Chuck laid his head down in his hands; feeling his own tears begin to fall. Together the two of them had ruined Blair. They hadn't just fucked her up emotionally, they hadn't just destroyed her relationship, they might have literally killed her by their inability to do what was best for her instead of thinking of themselves.

_Chuck knew that he could fix this, he just had to get to the cabin before Jack could do something that couldn't be fixed. He would get there, he'd save Blair and then everything would finally be okay. _

_He'd been so stupid for so long, putting the company above her but never again. She could have the company, he didn't give a damn about that cold, empty shell of a life that the company would provide him, all he needed was her; that's all he'd ever needed. _

_But it would all be okay, all he had to do was get to the cabin and save her. _

Chuck jerked, not realizing he'd fallen asleep. Looking in front of him he saw that Jack was now sitting across from him, looking at his hands as though he'd used them to strangle the life from Blair. Chuck didn't know what made him do it, but he was speaking before he could stop himself. "Jack, she's going to be okay, she has to be." Chuck was surprised by the lowness in his voice, it sounded almost raspy.

Jack didn't look up. "Don't talk to me." He growled, still studying his hands.

_Jack pressed his foot down on the accelerator, shifting the car into high gear. The world was flying by on either side of him but he didn't care, his eyes were focused on the road, focused on his destination. _

_He had to get back to Blair, he had to get to her and tell her how wrong he'd been. She could love Chuck forever; he didn't care so long as she loved and wanted to be with him. He'd be with her for as long as she'd let him. He just had to get back in time to stop her. _

Jack spoke completely to himself this time. "This is my fault. Why didn't I just stay in the cabin, why did I have to be the better man. My attempt at heroics might have killed her." Unwittingly, Jack looked up, his eyes meeting Chuck's as though seeking a form of absolution.

Chuck shook his head and looked away. "Your heroics saved her life." Chuck spoke, his voice strained.

_Pressing his foot down on the accelerator, Chuck pushed the car forward into the corner. He didn't see the lights until it was too late. He slammed on the breaks, jerking the car to the side to delay the now inevitable. Each second felt like an hour broken down as his car scrapped along side the oncoming vehicle. The crunching sound as metal met metal filled his ears as he watched the other car vault back the other direction, flipping and rolling once before skidding to a stop. _

Jack laughed a dark twisted laugh. "If I was her hero, we wouldn't be sitting here."

_Jack slammed on his breaks the moment he saw the lights ahead. There'd been some kind of car crash. It was so dark yet the twisting in his gut told him everything. _

_Stopping the car he swung the door open, running towards the crash sight. Spotting the Maserati turned on it' head, his running turned into a sprint. No, no, no. This wasn't happening this couldn't be happening. It felt like a dream, the lights meeting darkness, the crushed red metal. He ran past Chuck, not registering why he was there, not caring. Chuck didn't matter, only Blair. _

_"Blair, no!" He shouted reaching the car. The glass was cracked but not broken. Tearing off his shirt he wrapped it around his fist and punched it through the window, punched it over and over again. He wouldn't risk glass being left to scrape against her and hurt her more, but he had to get her out in case he needed to start CPR; the hospital was so far away that wouldn't be able to wait. _

_Reaching inside he lifted her, gently tugging her from the car, careful not to cause her any further injury. He could feel tears burning his eyes as he pulled her to him. She wasn't conscious, God she wasn't conscious. Testing her pulse he tensed as he waited seconds that felt like hours. And then he felt it, it was faint but it was there; she was breathing. But there was blood, so much blood. _

_Remember Chuck, he turned around. "CALL 911" _

Chuck shook his head. "The only person to blame here is me. I'm the one that hit her, not you. If you hadn't gotten there when you did. . ."

_"I already did." He shouted, stumbling and falling to his knees in the middle of the road. Watching as Jack cradled her in his arms as though she was the only thing in the world that mattered. _

_Chuck's head fell into his hands. What had he done? God what had he done? It felt like hours before the ambulances came. Chuck was in a daze as they took Blair from Jack, loading her into an ambulance before forcing Chuck and Jack into the other. _

Jack stood from his chair, kicking it across the room. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" He shouted at Chuck. "This is all my fault." He could hear his voice crack but he kept going. "Blair's an awful driver and I left her the keys and told her to be gone before I got back. Those roads are so damn icy. I should have been at the cabin, loving her, cherishing her; instead I threw her away. It's my fault she's in that ER room, my fault she's fighting for her life. She wouldn't have even been on that road if it weren't for me and my stupid heroics." Jack finished before collapsing back in his chair.

Chuck runs a hand over his head wincing in pain. He was about to say more when the doctor walked over. Chuck recognized him instantly as the man who was operating on Blair. The focus in the room was suddenly on the man as he spoke.

"She's out of surgery." He spoke softly, looking between the two men as they waited with bated breath. "She's awake." He watched as both men exhaled as though a great weight had been lifted form their shoulders. He focused on one of them, the next statement for him alone. "And she's asking to see you."

**

* * *

SO now we know who caused the accident and I've once more left you with another cliff hanger – one that's going to be answered with a bit of revelation. Hope you enjoyed. **

**Please review and let me know what you thought **

**Xoxo  
Kate**


	35. The First Cut is the Deepest

**So I use two songs in this chapter which is a lot (I know) BUT I felt as though both were important. The first Haunted is from Taylor Swift's new album Speak Now and is focused around Blair (it will become more clear later but all I'll say now is that while Jack is a factor in this song there's something else too). The second song is Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons and it's all Chuck. If Chuck had an inner monologue with himself, that's what it would be. **

**A word of warning to all readers – no matter if you want her with Jack or Chuck it's going to be a bumpy ride from here to the finish. I hate to say that no ones going to be happy but that's kind of the case. You've been warned. **

To my reviewers: **rolling0916, QueenBee10, mrschuckbass94, wrighthangal, BedwardEndGam8D, LisaLevine, Alisha Winchester, CarolinaGirl21, SouthernBelle88, LovelyLydia, GGfanficfan09, LitPrincess2787, Sw33tHeart21, finnlover, awakeningezgi, ggff-fan, **and **Noirreigne. **You guys are so awesome, thanks for reviewing.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Rated: **M for the language in one of the songs I use.

Thanks as always to my beta **Ingrid (ggff-fan) **you are awesome girl!

* * *

"She's asking to see you." The doctor spoke, looking directly at Jack. Jack closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply. He was glad she was alright; he didn't want to live in a world where Blair Waldorf didn't exist and though his heart soared that she was asking for him, it didn't change the fact that it was his fault - it couldn't erase what he had done. Yet finally he nodded. "Okay."

Chuck watched Jack carefully. That the other man didn't immediately smirk at him or throw it in his face said volumes about how far the three of them had journeyed in such a short time. He hadn't expected Blair to ask for him; even if she knew he was here she wouldn't want to see him. That would be especially true once she learned that this was all his fault.

The doctor however had more to say. "There were however, complications." He spoke cautiously.

Both sets of eyes immediately snapped to the doctor's as the men interrupted each other trying to speak. Each rising slightly from their seat.

"Is she okay?" Jack questioned just as Chuck spoke. "Is there going to be permanent damage?"

The doctor raised a hand to still them. "Ms. Waldorf will be fine given some rest and time for recuperation. Her injuries were mostly surface, no internal bleeding was sustained. She's quite lucky she'll be walking away with no more than a few minor scars and a few broken ribs." Both men relaxed slightly before they remembered that it was the doctor who'd mentioned complications. After a moment of peace, the older man continued.

"However, while in surgery we tracked some minor swelling in the brain and had to do an emergency craniotomy." The Bass men's eyes widened.

Jack swallowed. "You drilled holes in her skull.

The doctor nodded. "Once it was safe and the swelling was down we filled the burr holes with the bone we'd extracted so there won't be more than an unnoticeable indention left behind. But before we drilled the holes her body went under stress, oxygen wasn't getting to her brain and it wasn't sending the right signals. . ."

Jack shut his eyes tightly. "Oh God no." He spoke knowing what came next. "Don't say it."

Chuck looked between the doctor and Jack, watching as signals passed between the two; knowing that there was something he didn't know, something important. The doctor had said Blair was fine, that she wouldn't have permanent damage; yet Jack looked like the doctor had just told him that Blair was brain dead.

The doctor looked forward solemnly. "I'm sorry Mr. Bass, we did everything we could."

Chuck continued to look back and forth, eyes growing wider. They said Blair was okay, what was the doctor apologizing for. "Apparently I'm slow today, call it sleep deprivation because I have no idea what you're saying." He said his voice low.

Looking at the dark haired man the doctor exhaled slowly, this was always difficult. "We couldn't save the baby. If we'd known going in about her condition we would have been monitoring more closely but we didn't realize until it was too late."

"Damn it." Jack cursed under his breath. His stupidity hadn't killed Blair, but it had killed her baby, their baby. God what had he done.

Chuck heard nothing past the word baby. "Blair was pregnant?" He asked eyes wide, jaw slightly askew.

Jack didn't even register Chuck's comment, zeroing in on the doctor. "Does she know?" He asked, his voice low.

"No." The doctor spoke shaking his head. "We thought you might want to. It usually comes best from the father."

Jack nodded solemnly, not correcting him that they didn't know he was the father; there was no point anymore and either way she'd want to hear it from him. "I'll tell her." He spoke, barely managing to get the words out. Something inside of him had clicked off; something was gone.

Chuck's jaw was set. Neither Jack nor the doctor had answered his question and he felt as though he'd lost something that he didn't even know existed. And now Jack was following the doctor back. He faced Jack, speaking through his teeth. "She was pregnant and no one saw fit to tell me."

Jack shot a quick glare, not too harsh because Chuck was having to absorb this all at once, but direct just the same because right now Chuck was focusing on what this meant for him rather than what this meant for Blair. "Now's not the time." Jack spoke giving Chuck the most caring gaze he could because honestly right now, he did feel for Chuck; he was after all just a kid.

The doctor nodded at Jack, agreeing without having to say more, and walked down the hall with Jack following behind. Approaching the room, the doctor opened the door and gestured Jack inside with a solemn smile.

Jack inhaled deeply, getting his bearings for what was to come. He had to be stronger now than he'd ever been; he had to do this, he owed it to Blair. Walking into the room, he took in her appearance. She had a small bandage on her head and a few minor scratches but otherwise she appeared to be okay. Weak, but okay.

_**You and I walk a fragile line  
I have known it all this time  
But I never thought  
I'd live to see it break**_

Blair spotted him and immediately brightened, a small smile appearing on her features. "Hey."

"Hey pretty girl." He spoke quietly, walking closer.

Sitting up she winced slightly and Jack immediately moved to her side, helping her. "Did you hear they drilled holes into my skull?" Blair asked trying to keep the mood light. "The doctor assured me that you wouldn't even be able to tell."

Jack did his best to smirk at her teasing attitude but found it wasn't anything near his natural smirk. "I heard." He spoke softly.

Looking up at him with wondrous eyes she smiled. Not that she wished a car accident on anyone, but this one might have been the very thing to set her life back on track. "They tell me you pulled me out of the car."

_**It's getting dark and it's all too quiet  
And I can't trust anything now  
And it's coming over you  
Like it's all a big mistake**_

Jack nodded, trying to return her smile and failing.

Tilting her head Blair took his hand in hers. "You were coming back for me weren't you?" She spoke with another knowing smile, as she traced the fingers of his un-bandaged hand.

Pursing his lips, Jack looked at her with pain in his eyes. He couldn't put this off, sparing her the pain right now wouldn't help her later. "Blair-"

Blair lifted her chin, suspicion flooding her. She knew that look, she knew when Jack had something to say that she wasn't going to like. But it was strange, emotionally it didn't feel as though he was moving away from her; it actually appeared as though he was opening himself up and that scared her more than anything. Holding his hand tightly she spoke. "What's wrong?"

_**Woah-oh, holding my breath  
Won't lose you again  
Something's made your eyes go cold**_

Jack inhaled deeply, holding her own hand tightly in return. He has to do this, he was the only one who could.

When Jack didn't answer Blair narrowed her eyes and pushed herself into an upright sitting position. "Is it the baby?" She asked eyes wide. "Because if I need to go on bed rest for a while I can, so long as our baby's okay." She spoke quickly, her eyes never leaving his.

Jack inhaled again, knowing he can't delay the inevitable collapse that is about to occur. Besides after everything he owes her this at least. "Blair, the baby didn't make it."

Grasping tightly at Jack's hand, Blair shook her head, unable to accept what he was saying. "What? No, you're lying." When Jack didn't say anything she held on more tightly. "Tell me you're lying Jack." She insisted, unable to believe that what he said was the truth.

_**Come on, come on  
Don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Something's gone terribly wrong  
You're all I wanted**_

Jack looks at her with heartbroken eyes; eyes that said everything while his mouth made no sound.

Leaning her head backwards, Blair couldn't stop the tears that were coming. She pressed her lips together and clinched her eyes doing everything she could to hold herself together but there was only so much she could do. Within moments, she found the sobs coursing through her body, causing her to gasp as she began to cry aloud.

Jack allowed her to pull him closer and he stood there, holding her to him, allowing her to bury her head in his stomach as she cried. He let one tear of his own fall before forcing himself to stop. He couldn't let himself fall apart. As the sobs eased from Blair's body she looked up at him eyes pleading as she leaned back. She needed him, she needed him so much.

Swallowing tightly, Jack knew that he couldn't be there for her right now. He couldn't let her get attached again, not right now when she was at her most vulnerable. "Is there anything I can get you before I go?" He asked softly, in complete control.

_**Come on, come on  
Don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
Can't turn back now  
I'm haunted**_

"Where are you going?" She asked curiously, as her tears abated.

Sighing deeply, Jack's gaze changed to one that was almost pitying. "Blair . . ."

The sadness in Blair's gaze immediately changed to anger, as rage mixed with disbelief filled her small form. "You can't be serious?" Blair spoke, her jaw locking. "You're not still planning on leaving me are you?"

Jack's silence said everything and she felt his hand begin to loosen on her own. Grasping tightly to him, she refused to let go so quickly. "You can't still think that I'm better off without you?"

_**Stood there  
Watched you walk away  
From everything we had  
But I still mean every word I said to you**_

"Now more than ever." Jack spoke as he nodded almost imperceptibly and moved to end the conversation. "Chuck's outside, he needs to tell you something."

Blair just shook her head. "I don't care." She gripped his hand even more tightly as she fixed her fierce gaze directly on his. "You can't leave me again."

"Nothing's changed Blair." Jack spoke, still firmly in control, though he felt himself opening up to her, opening in a way that would only serve to further hurt them both. He'd allowed himself to be emotionally vulnerable as he conveyed the news about the baby because that's what she deserved but now it was time to draw everything back in before he let himself fall apart.

Eyes wide Blair felt a wide range of emotions flowing through her, too many to identify or deal with. "Everything's changed Jack! I lost our baby, I'm in the hospital. I could have died."

_**He will try to take away my pain  
And he just might make me smile  
But the whole time  
**__**I'm wishing it was you instead**_

"Because of me." Jack spoke bitterly as the guilt he was feeling crashed in upon him. "You're right, things have changed. Now I'm more certain than ever that I have to stay away from you."

Blair refused to waste anymore time on being angry at Jack for trying to be noble, she just had to convince him that she couldn't survive him leaving. "Jack no. You saved me." She responded, her eyes desperately searching his.

Carefully, Jack brushed the hair from her face. "I won't endanger you anymore. I'm done ruining your life. You deserve happiness, you deserve someone that can give that to you and that someone can't be me."

_**Oh-woah, holding my breath  
Won't see you again  
Something keeps me holding on to nothing**_

Feeling her breath coming in quick gasps she leaned into his hands. Tears that she thought had run dry seemed to find their way back to her eyes. "I can't do this without you Jack. I've lost everything, I can't lose you too."

Pressing his lips together Jack sighed. What had been so hard at the cabin was now so easy because before he'd thought it was the right thing, now he knew it through his entire being. She needed to be free of him. "Losing me will be the best thing that has ever happened to you."

"Jack you're the only one who understands what I've lost. Without you I'll fall apart." Blair spoke baring everything.

Jack shook his head. "Maybe it's better this way. If the baby was mine it would have tied you to me for the rest of your life. No one deserves that."

_**Come on, come on  
Don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Something's gone terribly wrong  
You're all I wanted**_

Blair froze, she heard a skip of the beat on the heart monitor as her heart seemed to literally stop for a second. "I can't believe you said that."

Jack was even shocked at himself. He was about to take it back, to say something before he realized that this was the way out and not only that but there was truth in it on his side. She shouldn't have to have something that forever reminded her of the hell he'd once put her through.

On top of that, this was the way that Blair would never forgive him. Settling on a decision he didn't entirely like, he continued, knowing that in the end it would cause her less pain than the alternative of her staying attached to him. "Why not? It's true. Now we're free of each other."

Blair just sat there gaping, her pulse racing, heart pounding. "Stop it Jack, you don't mean it."

_**Come on, come on  
Don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
Can't turn back now  
I'm haunted**_

"Of course I do Blair. Didn't you hear me at the cabin. I don't want to be with you and seriously a baby? What could have possibly possessed us to think that the two of us could rear a child?" Jack spoke, letting the words flow from his mouth. He knew that the words he was saying now weren't how he really felt but he was riding a wave. It was all for her.

Blair shook her head a smile rising to her face unexpectedly. She knew now that he was just spilling bullshit because Jack wanted this baby before she did. He was meant to be a father. "You did. You were the one who talked me into keeping the baby, you're the one who convinced me I could be a mom. You tricked me out of having an abortion Jack. You can't lie to me about this, I know how you really feel."

_**I know, I know  
I just know  
You're not gone  
You can't be gone, no**_

Jack just laughed darkly, falling into a character façade that he had held up for so long. It felt strange slipping back into it but shutting off his heart, separating it from his head was the only way he'd make it out of this room. "Blair you forget who you're dealing with. You're so easy to fool, so easy to manipulate. Even I was surprised at how hard you fell. I knew I'd break you eventually, I just didn't know it would take so much effort quite honestly. I didn't want you to end up in the hospital or anything after all you're a pretty good lay."

"Is this what this was all about? Bedding me?" Blair snapped before she could stop herself because she knew it wasn't true but her natural instinct was to react viciously.

_**Come on, come on  
Don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Something's gone terribly wrong  
Won't finish what you started**_

Jack shrugged, letting the darkness consume him as the guilt swallowed him whole. "I mean, it was definitely the icing on the cake, having you willingly underneath me but no Blair this was about destroying my little nephew of course, you were collateral damage as well as the spoils of war."

Blair shook her head, refusing to listen. "You're lying. You love me, and you loved that baby."

"What don't you understand Blair? It was all a game to me, seeing just how far I could get you to go, just how much I could use you to destroy Chuck and now it's over; mission accomplished." Jack paused preparing to deliver the final blow that would cause her to wish she'd never met Jack Bass. "At least now that all the loose ends are tied up." He spoke gesturing towards her stomach.

_**Come on, come on  
Don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
Can't go back  
I'm haunted**_

Blair jerked as a shock ran through her. Her heart screamed that everything up on the mountain had been true and that what Jack was saying now was the lie; but her heart was alone in this assessment as her mind concluded that the mountain had been a lie and this right now was reality. "Get out." She spat, releasing his hand, her voice low, a growl.

Jack lifted an eyebrow. "Why Blair? I thought we were just starting to have fun. I mean honestly there are so many more illusions I could destroy for you. . ."

"Get out, get out, GET OUT!" Blair shouted, her voice rising with each rapid shout.

Jack shot her one last smirk, as his insides crumbled and disintegrated. And with that he walked out of the room and out of Blair's life.

_**You and I walk a fragile line  
I have known it all this time  
Never ever thought I'd see it break  
Never thought I'd see it**_

As soon as Jack walked from the room, Blair slammed her head back, paying no heed to the pain it caused her. That hadn't happened, it hadn't. Though really she knew it did and knowing that something in her snapped in two.

Jack didn't turn back, he couldn't he just kept walking until he reached the waiting room. Spying Chuck sitting exactly where he'd left him, he approached his nephew. "She needs you right now." Looking away briefly before looking back he spoke, his voice raw. "And you better have learned how to be there for her."

Chuck snapped to attention, locking eyes with his uncle; his own confused ones meeting Jack's completely unreadable ones. He knew now that Jack was completely in love with Blair, why would he ever want Chuck around her again. If he were Jack he would have strangled him with his bare hands by now. "Blair doesn't want me around, she made that clear."

Jack shook his head a grimace appearing briefly on his face. "She still loves you. She told me so herself before. . ."

Chuck felt his heart pounding in his chest as he met Jack's gaze with alert eyes. He found he couldn't find the words to speak.

Jack stayed focus, ignoring the confusion on Chuck's face. "I broke her, now put her back together." He paused ready to leave before thinking of something else Chuck should know. "And don't worry about any more interference from me. Blair's world is better without me in it and this time I'm going to make sure I stay out of it." With that, Jack turned and walked towards the doors of the hospital, not stopping until he was completely out of sight.

Chuck stared after him for a moment, he felt strange. There was a numbness that had filled him, it seemed to replace the guilt that had been crashing down around him all day. He had a strong sense of unworthiness and it was causing his stomach to churn. He was still staring where Jack had been when the doctor approached him from behind.

"Mr. Bass, you can go in now if you'd like."

Chuck closed his eyes and inhaled, he loved her, at very least he had to be honest with her about what had happened. As he walked a certain sense of hope managed to creep into his subconscious; Jack was gone, it was all he had wanted the past few months. Jack was gone and Blair was going to need him. Whether she wanted to let him or not he was going to be there for her, he was going to make up for what he'd done to her and they would be stronger than ever. He was going to earn back her trust and because as long as she still loved him he knew it was possible. With a renewed sense of purpose, Chuck walked quietly into Blair's room.

_**weep for yourself, my man,  
you'll never be what is in your heart  
weep little lion man,  
you're not as brave as you were at the start**_

Blair was looking out the window, she had the vague sense that someone was in the room; knowing immediately that it was Chuck without looking - after all she'd always been able to feel his presence. She'd been expecting him for a while now, though she wasn't sure why he was here - unless Jack had called him. She didn't say anything as he approached, she didn't flinch as he took her hand, she didn't turn her head as he started talking. Nothing he said was going to change anything - he couldn't bring her baby back.

"I'm glad you're okay." Chuck spoke softly as his thumb traced circles on her hand. "I'm sorry about the baby - I didn't know."

Blair clenched her jaw tightly at the word baby and turned her head to face forward, not looking at him, but no longer exactly looking away. "You didn't know because I didn't tell you."

Chuck pursed his lips, he had never been good at comforting anyone but this was Blair and she mattered more than anyone else. "I didn't give you reason to trust me with that kind of information."

Finally looking at him, Blair knew that her eyes must have been cold, dead. "No, you didn't."

Chuck held her gaze, not saying more because there wasn't anything he could say.

"It figures that when I decided to keep the baby, something would happen to take it away from me." Blair spoke her voice soft and raw.

_**rate yourself and rake yourself,  
take all the courage you have left  
waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head**_

Closing his eyes tightly Chuck held onto her hand, feeling her squeeze it back.

"Jack said you had something to tell me." Blair spoke again, still staring at her ex-if he was still her ex. She didn't know where they stood right now. There was an emptiness she couldn't explain, an emptiness she needed to fill.

Nodding, Chuck swallowed. "Blair, I'm so sorry. I am so so sorry. I didn't see . . ." He said trailing off, his voice choking in his throat.

Blair's eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you banged up?" She asked her own voice carrying hints of skepticism.

"I was driving the car that hit yours." Chuck spoke looking directly into her expectant face.

Blair's eyes slammed closed in anticipation of the expected twisting of her gut. The news should have shaken her already unstable grip on reality but the twisting of her gut, the shattering of her only remaining support, never came.

_**but it was not your fault, but mine  
and it was your heart on the line  
i really fucked it up this time  
didn't I, my dear?  
didn't I, my dear?**_

Chuck watched her reaction and immediately began babbling as he tried to explain himself. "I thought that Jack had kidnapped you and I was coming to rescue you. Or maybe I just convinced myself that Jack had taken you against your will so that I could be your hero. I don't even know what's true anymore." Chuck said running a hand over his head, causing him to wince in pain as he'd once more forgotten about his own injuries. "I was driving too fast, I didn't want to waste any time getting to you. I slammed on the breaks but there wasn't enough time . . ."

"I forgive you." Blair spoke opening her eyes as she looked at Chuck, she was surprised to see that he looked completely devastated. It brought something out in her that she hadn't realized was still there - she had an undeniable need to protect Chuck, to be there for him. It was backwards and strange but it wasn't something she could fight. She'd known that she loved him, but she hadn't realized just how much.

"I was the one who swerved into the other lane, it wasn't your fault." She spoke as her hand tightened over his. Her heart was swelling, she could feel it telling her that this was why she hadn't felt the dropping in her stomach, he hadn't done anything wrong, not now at least.

Chuck reached forward and traced her jaw. "I just wanted to protect you."

Blair shrugged slightly. "Maybe it's better this way."

_**tremble for yourself, my man,  
you know that you have seen this all before  
tremble little lion man,  
you'll never settle any of your scores**_

Chuck's eyes searched hers discerningly. It was like trying to sift through white noise, she was a blank wall to his eyes. He couldn't read her, no matter how hard he tried and it was a strange experience for him. He'd always known her better than he'd known himself. A sharp pain inside of him drew his attention to the fact that they might never get that back but he was willing to do whatever it took to try. "I love you." He spoke solidly.

Tilting her head into his hand Blair did her best to smile. "I love you too. I never stopped." Something in her felt uncomfortable, it wasn't that she didn't love him, she knew that was true, what was uncomfortable was that they currently had to speak, had to use words. Always before when they were in situations such as this words were something they used to emphasize not to communicate. There was something different about it, something new that she didn't like.

"Can we try this again?" Chuck asked, searchingly. He didn't want to push her, didn't want to rush it; but he didn't want to lose her again, he couldn't.

Blair pursed her lips for a moment before she answered. "How about we see where things go?" Furrowing her brow only slightly Blair realized that they weren't the same people they once were and now both of them were going to have to relearn each other.

Chuck nodded, his heart speeding as he traced her fingers with his own. "All I'm asking is for the opportunity to be there for you. I don't need to know what happened with you and Jack."

_**your grace is wasted in your face,  
your boldness stands alone among the wreck  
learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck**_

Holding onto Chuck's hand Blair returned his nod with one of her own. The hope in his eyes gave her the sense that maybe this was possible maybe one day things would be okay again. Even if right now it still felt like there was nothing, like she was empty, there would never really be nothing because with Chuck there would always be something. "I have to tell you something first." She spoke wincing as she pushed herself to sit up.

Chuck moved to help her, bracing himself for what he was about to hear; he knew it was going to be about Jack and if she felt she had to tell him then it wasn't something he was going to like. "Whatever it is you can tell me, always."

Blair looked at him, knowing as she did that she wasn't the same person she was only a few months ago. Something had happened to her, she'd changed in ways she'd never understand and anything from here was going to be an uphill battle. If Chuck was going to be there for her, if he was going to be a part of her future there were things he had to know. To get back the complete understanding of the other that they'd once shared they had to open up about everything that had happened to tear them apart. "I chose Jack, he just didn't choose me." Blair spoke, her voice cracking at the end.

Chuck pulled back. Of all the scenarios he'd played in his head, that wasn't one of them.

"We slept together, then he ended things, told me to leave - that's why I was driving so quickly." Blair spoke her eyes not quite meeting Chuck's.

_**well it was not your fault but mine  
and it was your heart on the line  
i really fucked it up this time  
didn't I, my dear?**_

Sighing Chuck absorbed everything, his mind quickly going to work. The pieces began to fall into place as he realized what Jack had done. Jack had chosen to take the high road. He had done what he'd thought would make Blair the happiest - which was to get out of her life. That was the only explanation for Blair's story and Jack's behavior earlier because there was no way Jack didn't care about her with the way he'd been acting. "Jack's an idiot."

He spoke his voice low because truly he was. If Jack didn't understand that Blair was too precious to ever let go than he was the stupidest man Chuck had ever known; at the same Chuck knew that Jack's decision was one of a strength that he had never begun to possess. As he felt admiration for his uncle seep into his conscious, Chuck brought his eyes to Blair's who was still staring at him. "I miss us." Chuck spoke quietly.

"I had to be honest with you if we were ever going to get back to the way things were because no matter what's happened Chuck, I'm always going to miss us." Blair said with a slight frown. "I mean we're still Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck right?" She didn't even realize that she was seeking his reassurance until he smiled.

Pressing his lips tightly together Chuck smirked. "Always. We will always be Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck. As for going back, I don't think that's possible. I think we have to go forward." He said his voice almost trembling.

_**well it was not your fault but mine  
and it was your heart on the line  
i really fucked it up this time  
didn't I, my dear?**_

Reaching forward slowly, Blair traced the line of his face.

"What are you thinking?" Chuck asked his voice low, almost ashamed.

For the first time a real smile escaped her façade at Chuck's acknowledgement of her precise feelings; maybe they weren't so far away from those people who knew each other as they thought. "I was thinking that you're right. There's no back, there's only forward."

Leaning forward, Chuck rested his forehead lightly against hers. "I don't want to ever have to ask that again." He said, his voice still low, still shaking slightly.

Inhaling until it hurt, Blair placed the gentlest of kisses on his lips. "I know." She whispered, her lips moving against his, trusting that he could understand her. "I know."

_**didn't I, my dear?**_

* * *

Okay there it is. So I hope you enjoyed it one way or another and I hope I executed everything well. Thanks for reading and I'd love it if you'd review and let me know that you're still interested in this fanfic

Xoxo  
Kate


	36. Broken Porcelain

**Hello again lovelies, I'm making all of you the same promise I did on my fanfic I Can't You Can't He Can't She Won't, we'll be finishing things up this summer so get excited! Anyways, it might be a few weeks after this before any more updating because I'm moving to NYC tomorrow and starting an internship Monday. However, do enjoy :)**

To my reviewers: **QueenBee10, LovelyLydia, wrighthangal, LisaLevine, CarolinaGirl21, LeftWriter224, Alisha Winchester, mcrs, SouthernBelle88, Sw33tHeart21, LitPrincess2787, GGfanficfan09, CB Always, **and **bekyg620. **You guys are so awesome, thanks for reviewing and if I haven't gotten to your reviews I promise I will soon!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**Rated: **Back to **T **for this chapter.

Thanks as always to my beta **Ingrid (ggff-fan) **you are basically my favorite person ever.

* * *

**Chapter 36  
****Broken Porcelain**

Blair looked into the mirror for quite some time debating the merits of wearing a headband or not. It wasn't that she actually cared. She was going through the motions and she knew it. It was just easier to contemplate headbands rather than facing everything else. Placing the red headband amongst her curls she stood fairly certain she'd heard the chime of the elevator - right on time.

Walking down the stairs, Blair's eyes landed on Chuck and she did her best to put on a realistic smile. Today was going to be her first day going back. It had been two weeks since the accident and even though she still felt like she was falling apart 99% of the time, she knew that the real world was still out there waiting.

When his eyes landed on her Chuck pretended that Blair looked the same as she always had. She was still beautiful but there was something entirely new about her appearance that for the time being he would continue not to see. "Good morning. You look beautiful."

"Good morning to you too." Blair spoke reaching the landing and accepting the coat Chuck was holding out. He'd been the perfect guy for the past two weeks, completely infallible in every way. He attended to her every need, was always there when she needed him to be, and they'd even begun to rebuild a little of what they'd lost.

Chuck had come to surprise her but either Blair was even worse off than he thought and his appearance didn't even phase her or she'd been expecting him. Deciding it would be better to wait and see what she told him rather than guessing at which of those was correct Chuck asked a more dangerous question. "So are you ready to go back?"

Blair smiled again, placing a hand on Chuck's shoulder. They didn't touch each other as much as they once did but light touches were becoming more frequent, Chuck usually initiated them but today she needed his support. "You know, I knew you'd be here this morning."

"You did?" Chuck asked with a careful smile. He resisted sighing in relief at the fact that she was unsurprised rather than uncaring.

Blair nodded carefully, every word and movement full of control. "I did. That's why I waited until now to tell you rather than tell you yesterday."

Chuck tilted his head slightly. "Does this have something to do with where you disappeared to yesterday?" Chuck asked carefully.

Blair nodded once more. "It does." After an almost tentative smile she moved her hand down his arm to take his hand in hers. "I'm not going back to the office today."

Chuck's eyes widened, it turned out he was the one who was getting surprised this morning. But even as his eyes widened he took in Blair's outfit for the first time; read headband, white button down tucked into a high waisted black skirt and red pumps. "You're going back to Constance." It was more a statement than a question.

"I am." Blair replied, lacing her fingers through his. She was fairly certain that Chuck wouldn't deny her anything right now but if there was something that could tip him back to crazy this was it. She was talking about her involvement with his father's legacy after all and the fact that she was the CEO was what had sent them into a tailspin to begin with.

Chuck inhaled deeply, prepared to listen to her explanation before he made any decisions on further words or actions. "And the company?" He asked, his voice steady and empathetic.

Squeezing his hand in hers Blair met Chuck's gaze head on. "Is in good hands. Lily is going to be acting on my behalf. She'll involve me in any major decisions but she's going to take over running the day to day things for the next little bit."

Chuck nodded slowly but remained silent, he knew she wasn't finished.

Blair realized that Chuck was reading her and it caused a strange warming in her heart, one she was almost too hardened to notice. She'd missed that though, she'd missed Chuck's infallible ability to read her and her him. "I need to go back to school, I need to be a normal girl again for a while. I'm thinking I'll finish out the year at Constance and then decide from there."

Exhaling, Chuck took her other hand in his bringing both up to his lips. "If that's what you want you have my complete support."

Blair nodded as she withdrew her hands. "Thank you." She spoke softly because she knew that even if it didn't seem that way right now, Chuck's response to her decision was a big deal for both of them.

It wasn't until they arrived at school that Blair's façade began to crumble. She'd been so careful to keep any and all emotion under lock and key but at that moment everything felt like it was just on the edge of breaking through. Her insides felt like they were about to melt into nothing and it was only Chuck's hand on her back and what little resolve she had left that got her to Headmistress Queller's office.

As Chuck waited on Blair to finish talking with Headmistress Queller he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. The feeling was so strong it was almost crippling; it brought him back to the darkest time in his life, when his father had died and Blair was there for him. The grief that began to wash through him at the simple memory made him almost physically ill.

Blair, Blair had been the one to get him through the pain and if her pain was a fraction of what he'd felt back then then he wasn't doing a good enough job of helping her. He was letting her hide her pain and fear, he was letting her shut it off; which was the equivalent of a downward spiral into drugs, booze, and women for him. He swore in that moment to do better, to push her a little harder every day. She'd never heal if she didn't let herself.

He'd take it slow because he knew from experience that it took time, he'd taken a month before he even let Blair be there for him and then it was months again after that before he was okay again. Blair was different, he knew that but he also knew that her behavior was no less dangerous than his had been. He had caused himself physical damage while hers was all psychological. He wasn't going to let her keep hiding forever, she would destroy herself if she did. He wasn't sure how he was going to do it, all he knew was that he was going to help her get through this, help her grieve.

When she came back out of Queller's office she game him a beaming smile, one that made his stomach turn because it almost looked real. He knew she wasn't happy, he knew she wasn't dealing with things and the fact that she was so good at pretending she was made him want to shake her. "So are you back to all of your old classes?" Chuck asked, forcing his voice to be normal.

Blair shrugged. "Mostly. The only one I'm not is French because I already finished all of the course work when I was doing my independent study."

Chuck nodded before reaching down and taking her hand, not sure whether or not it was a good thing that she let him. "So I'll see you in English?" He asked quietly when they reached the door of her first classroom and he spotted Serena already inside.

"You'll see me in English." Blair replied, taking the hand that wasn't holding Chuck's and placing it on the side of his face. Leaning up she placed a soft gentle kiss on his lips, one of the first since the accident. "I'm fine. I promise." She spoke quietly, pulling away.

Chuck was surprised but not fooled, he knew she was far from fine. It had taken him this reminder of his grief over his father to remember what grief really felt like. The act she'd been putting up for him wasn't going to be good enough anymore to keep him passive. But for now at least it was a moot point; there was nothing he could do to help her at school. "Text me if you need me." Chuck spoke, his voice serious.

Blair nodded before turning and disappearing into the classroom and taking her seat next to Serena.

Chuck watched from the doorway for a moment, he'd been unsurprised to realize that Serena already knew she'd be coming back today after all this plan had hinged on Lily agreeing to take over for a while. There was a good chance Serena had been at home when Blair had gone to speak to her. But it still worried Chuck to leave Blair with Serena because while Serena knew about the car accident, she had no idea that Blair had been pregnant.

It had been Blair's decision to keep it quiet. No one had known so there was no reason for anyone to find out. Other than herself, Chuck, and Jack the only person who knew was Lily and that was only so that she would understand why Blair needed time.

To Chuck, it meant that Blair was simply going to keep on pretending that there was nothing wrong. She'd recovered from the car crash and all was well with the world again. Jack was gone and she was with Chuck. The thought of how fake it all was made him feel sick. But she wasn't talking to him about the pain right now and until he could think of a way to help her Chuck knew he had to just go with it.

* * *

It was a few weeks before Blair went in to talk to Lily. She'd wanted to acclimate herself back to the environment at Constance and feel comfortable in her old life before concerning herself with the company; but she knew that she needed to do a check up to see how things were going. Blair had fought too hard and lost too much to let something happen to the company now.

Walking towards her old office she noticed that the name on the door was still hers and almost smiled but she'd found that real emotion, even happy ones brought her too close to the brink so rather than smile, she shook it off and continued inside. "Good afternoon Lily." She spoke as she continued towards the desk.

Lily looked up and gave Blair a careful smile. "Good afternoon Blair." She replied, gesturing towards the seat in front of her. She noticed immediately that Blair was covering her grief well, too well and it made her stomach twist. Chuck had come to her with concerns but she'd told him Blair just needed time, now, seeing her, she wasn't so sure. The girl who stood before her was the picture of perfection, too perfect even for Blair Waldorf. The only thing that was off was her eyes, they looked dull and lifeless.

Blair ignored the look Lily was giving her and took a seat focusing on why she was there and forcing herself not to think about the time she'd spent on the other side of the desk or the man who use to frequently occupy her current seat. "So, how are things so far?"

Lily nodded realizing that Blair wasn't going to give her an opening to talk about anything personal, at least not yet. "Well in truth everything has been pretty dull around here lately. Most of the deals are running themselves, though I'm sure Hojimoto is going to want to talk with you soon. Things are going well over there but he'll want an update from our end."

Blair nodded, that was to be expected. Hojimoto trusted her now and she had to keep that relationship strong. "I'll come in on Friday morning and conference him." She spoke before continuing on to the next item on her list. "Now do we have any new prospects?"

Smiling at Blair's natural ability to talk business Lily continued. "We do. I've been looking at a couple of lots, one is in Midtown, the other is in Brooklyn. I know it's risky but I like the looks of the Brooklyn lot, it has potential to be great."

"Is that the one we were looking at few months back? The old Burlington place?" Blair asked, thinking back to the tour of lots she'd gone on with the company back when Chuck was still running things. She remembered the sparkle in Chuck's eyes when he'd seen the Brooklyn space and the wonder with which he'd talked about it later.

Lily nodded. "I believe so. The one near the bridge."

Flipping the next page of her notes Blair scribbled something down quickly. Doing her best not to think about the other times she'd been in this office, the many many hours. "Purchase the lot. It's going to be our next hotel."

Lily's eyebrows rose quickly. "Blair those are still in exploratory phases, both of them. I don't know that we are ready to make any purchases that big yet."

Blair shook her head. "I checked the space out on my own months ago. I had it looked into as a potential purchase by professionals, the foundation is sound, the electricity and pipes will need a reboot but we should be able to keep some of the building's original feel. I was thinking 1920s glamour with a prohibition feel to it. We'll have a speakeasy hidden in back, for exclusive parties and VIP guests only." Blair paused, turning another page of her notepad before tearing it out. "These are the contractors we'll be using and the contact info for the current owner of the property is listed as well. I want to get moving on this project sooner rather than later."

Lily's eyes widened at the thought and preparation that Blair had put into this, realizing then that it wasn't a sudden decision, this was planned. "That's quite inventive Blair." Lily spoke her voice soft as though she were open to whatever Blair might want to say next.

Blair sighed, understanding that Lily understood more than she was saying. "It was a project that Chuck and I were working on a while back. He doesn't know that I pursued it but the day we visited he came home with all of these grand plans and it was like magic the way we planned it out. The ideas bouncing between us as the building took shape before our eyes. I sent over people to look at it and paid a few trips of my own, then the situation with Jack came to a head and there were other things to worry about."

Lily watched the way Blair flinched as she said Jack's name but said nothing, she also noticed a brief sparkle flicker in Blair's eyes as she discussed the plans she and Chuck had for the place. "I'll see to it that the building is purchased. Do you have a name for it yet?"

"Charles Place." Blair said with a smile, one of those real smiles that worried her. She tried to distract herself but everywhere she looked were reminders rather than distractions. Reminders of the days Jack brought her food from her favorite restaurant, reminders of the kiss she and Jack shared when she was so broken, and worst of all reminders of the day she found out she was pregnant.

Lily tried to smile, she loved the idea that Blair was proposing and would see to it that the idea was carried out and she loved that Blair had done this for Chuck but she could see the sadness behind Blair's eyes. She wasn't fooled any longer, Chuck was right, Blair wasn't healing. Sighing, Lily took the glasses sitting on her nose and placed them on the table. "I'm going to tell you something that I expect to stay between the two of us."

Blair crossed her legs, leaning forwards. She didn't know what Lily was about to say though she assumed it was either about the new Hotel or Chuck and she had the utmost respect for confidentiality. "Of course."

Lily nodded before exhaling, this was hard for her but she knew she needed to say it and more than that Blair needed to hear it. "Last July I had a miscarriage." She watched as Blair froze before her but she continued speaking. "It took me a long time to move past it and I still had my other children to be thankful for. Some might say I didn't have any business trying again at my age but I simply saw the baby as a blessing."

Blair's throat was dry as she tried to form words. "Chuck almost had a sibling?" She asked quietly.

"He did." Lily said with a nod before continuing. "I had never felt that pain before, the pain of losing something completely that was once a part of myself and it almost destroyed me. It did destroy my relationship with Bart. Of course he was great at first but the loss ate him up inside and divided us slowly. It hurt to be around each other for a long time and then we didn't know how to act anymore."

Blair nodded sympathetically, in truth this revelation made a lot of other things make more sense. "I'm sorry." Blair spoke her voice still soft. "Why haven't I heard about this from Serena -"

"Serena doesn't know." Lily spoke quietly before pursing her lips with the tiniest frown, as of that moment Blair still wasn't getting it. "I'm telling you this because I want you to know that it's okay to be upset." When Blair began to shake her head Lily tsked. "Blair you don't fool me. I'm the master of using icy composure to guard yourself. You have to let yourself feel it Blair but you can't let it consume you."

Blair looked away, unable to meet Lily's eyes. "I don't want to feel it."

"I know. It hurts Blair and some part of you is always going to hurt but you are young and you have plenty of years to have babies. I know that doesn't mean you love the one you lost any less but you have time and you aren't alone." Lily spoke compassionately.

Blair swallowed tightly. "Sometimes it feels like I am, like I'm the only one who understands what it feels like."

Lily reached across the desk and placed a hand on one of Blair's. "Don't make the mistake I did. I didn't see that Bart had lost what I had lost; Chuck and Jack lost this baby too even if they didn't do so physically and those men love you. Chuck will be there for you if you let him."

"Chuck never wanted me to be pregnant." Blair said with a shake of her head. "He doesn't understand what I've lost, he isn't grieving like I am."

Lily shook her head as well. "You might be surprised. And what about Jack?" She asked, surprising herself with the question as it slipped out.

Blair tried to reinforce the walls blocking her feelings but she could feel them begin to crumble every time Lily spoke. "Jack doesn't care about me anymore; he never did. I was just part of some game to destroy Chuck."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Which does nothing to explain why the man looks like a zombie. Blair, Jack was the deciding vote when the board voted to keep you as CEO." She paused deciding whether or not she should continue, finally determining that Blair needed this more than Jack needed to keep it a secret. "The board was going to make him CEO and he still voted for you."

Blair inhaled deeply, struggling to maintain her composure at Lily's words. She found it difficult to believe that she was hearing the truth, but she knew that Lily wouldn't lie to her.

"I'm not saying that you should leave Chuck for Jack but if you truly feel like you can't talk to Chuck, I know that Jack would be there for you." Lily spoke sincerely. "But you have to talk to someone. You have to trust that someone else will grieve with you. You have to let yourself feel it."

Sighing slightly, Blair couldn't quite risk Lily's gaze for fear of seeing the truth. "I tried calling Jack once. He didn't answer and he never returned my call. I didn't try again."

Lily nodded understandingly. "He's here if you'd like to go talk to him."

Blair simply shook her head. "I think it's best if I just leave. I have things I need to take care of. But thank you for telling me what you did."

Once more Lily nodded. She was reluctant to simply let Blair leave but she couldn't stop her from doing so. "Please think about what I said dear." She said imploringly.

Blair gave Lily a small smile but she didn't speak one way or the other, instead she walked out of Lily's office. She needed to be alone and regain her composure or she might let herself feel it and no matter what Lily said, she was determined not to.

As soon as Blair left her office, Lily stood and walked into the hallway, taking an immediate right and marching towards Jack's office. She didn't knock, knowing with what she had to say it was probably just as well if she didn't. "I need to have a word with you." Lily said, stopping just inside the doorway.

Jack's head which had been resting in his hands popped up. "Lily, what are you . . ."

Lily shook her head as she interrupted. "Listen close Jack because I'm only going to say this once. I know you're trying to do the right thing by walking away and I'm not saying your wrong. But Blair needs you, she needs you."

"She has Chuck. I made sure of that." Jack spoke, his voice steady and certain. "She doesn't need me."

Lily sighed as she observed Jack, he looked worse than Blair; he was a disheveled mess. "I love Charles but Blair needs you more than you realize. Charles didn't have enough time to love the child before he lost it; you on the other hand did."

Scoffing Jack leaned back in his chair. "Are you telling me to go after your son's girlfriend?"

Lily shook her head and crossed her arms. "No, I'm just saying you should talk to her. Chuck doesn't understand what she lost but I think you do."

Jack was quiet for a moment as he thought about what Lily was saying. The whole point of staying away from her was making sure she got to be normal again; he didn't want to hurt her. But he couldn't go back, going back on what he said would only hurt her worse later. "I promised I wouldn't interfere in her life again."

"Jack, I tried, Chuck tried, the only person she'll listen to is you. You are the only one who can get through to her." Lily spoke patiently, but a hint of pleading crept into her voice.

Jack stared at Lily for a long time before shaking his head. "I know that you think I would help her but all I ever do is hurt her and I'm not going to do it again." When Lily just stood there, Jack sighed. "This discussion is over Lily, I'm sorry."

Lily turned and left knowing that her standing there wasn't going to change Jack's mind. For whatever reason he was convinced that he was bad for Blair and he was completely intractable on this point. She'd done what she could, she had to hope that Chuck could do the rest.

* * *

Rather than heading straight home following her meeting with Lily, Blair had made her way to Chuck's suite which he had moved back into following the accident. Lily's words had been bothering her and she was becoming more irritated by the minute. Who was Lily to tell her how to or how not to grieve over her loss. This was the way she had always dealt with things, Lily didn't get to say otherwise.

Walking into Chuck's suite she stopped in front of the table where he was surprisingly working on homework.

Looking up in surprise, Chuck smiled. "Blair, I didn't expect to see you this afternoon. I thought we were going to dinner tonight?"

Blair nodded. "We are." But she didn't say anything more.

Chuck looked at her confused, the expression on her face was virtually unreadable. "How was your meeting with Lily?"

Blair pursed her lips. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Chuck gave her the go ahead to keep talking with a nod of his head so she continued. "You know I'm okay right?" She asked seriously, beginning to wonder if it was only Lily who thought she was wasn't handling this or if Chuck was of the same opinion.

Chuck exhaled, setting down his pencil and looking at Blair. He'd been subtly pushing her harder but she continually shut him down, dismissing the possibility that she wasn't okay. He knew this was a delicate issue so he was careful in choosing his words. "I think you want to be okay but I don't think you're there yet."

Blair felt as though she'd been punched in the gut. Her hands went cold as her body felt a numbing shock rush through it and her heart began to pound frantically in her chest. "I'm fine Chuck." She said through gritted teeth as she clenched her fists tightly together.

Chuck shook his head, rising from his chair. "I want you to be fine Blair, I do. I want you to be okay but pretending like your fine when your not isn't going to help you. You lost a baby, it's normal to be upset, to feel pain."

"Why does everyone keep telling me how I should feel?" Blair snapped aggressively.

Her attitude made Chuck lose control for a moment in his frustration with the situation. "Because you're not feeling anything at all."

Blair's chest was heaving as anger coursed through her. "You have no idea what I'm feeling."

"Then tell me." Chuck pleaded, taking her hands in his.

Blair jerked her hands away. "I can't."

Chuck saw it in her eyes in that moment, he saw the break and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and hold her but he could see from the way she was standing that she wasn't going to let him. "Don't shut me out Blair." His spoke quietly, his voice a soft plea.

Blair took a step backwards, crossing her arms to stop the shaking that was consuming her body. "Too late." She spoke softly before turning and fleeing from Chuck's apartment

* * *

**So let me know what you think. This was kind of the wrestling of emotions that ended in a breakdown hence the name Broken Porcelain. **

**I know some of you are very pro-Jack, the poll I did earlier indicated that you guys are about 50/50 this is just a reminder for everyone to hang in there. **

**Please REVIEW :)**

**xoxo - kate**


	37. Fearless Love

**I am officially off hiatus which means an update a week on this one until it's finished up :) It's actually been done for a while but my beta and I had school, vacations, exams, weddings, internships (I moved to NYC for the summer), etc. Honestly reading over it before I posted was remarkably like reading it for the first time lol. So here you go, I hope you enjoy. The song is Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade, it's my ultimate Season 1 Chuck and Blair song and I think you'll see why it works so perfectly at this point of the story. Also the title comes from the Melissa Etheridge song Fearless Love - it's kind of my power jam.  
**

To my reviewers: **CarolinaGirl21, annablake, chair, D, LeftWriter224, tiff xoxo, LisaLevine, LovelyLydia, Krazy4Spike, bekyg620, GGfanficfan09, cc744, SouthernBelle88, Alisha Winchester Collins, tiff xoxo, and Fiona249. **First thanks for sticking with me over this crazy long period of sporadic updates I promise consistency for the rest of the fanfic. Also, I'm so glad that so many of you are so passionate about this fanfic – I've promised that you'll all be happy with the duel endings bit so try not to get to angry at anything that happens in the meantime

Many thanks to my wonderful beta **ggff-fan** without whom this fanfic basically would not exist.

* * *

**Chapter 37  
Fearless Love**

"Dorota, I need to see Blair." Chuck spoke sincerely as he stood in her foyer pacing.

Dorota shook her head, though there was fear in her eyes. "Miss. Blair still say no."

Chuck exhaled. "What do you think? Do you think she needs to talk to someone?"

Dorota stopped, as though considering what Chuck had said. Blair had been locked in her room for days, she didn't come out, she didn't talk to anyone, and she refused to let Mr. Chuck see her much less anyone else. She wasn't even eating anymore. "Yes."

Chuck made for the stairs, noticing this time that Dorota didn't dry to block his way. He reminded himself to thank her later as he climbed the stairs to Blair's room. He knocked softly to no reply before cautiously turning the door knob.

"I told you to leave me alone Dorota."

Chuck's heart dropped at the sound of Blair's voice, it was flat, lifeless. He'd never heard her voice so devoid of emotion before. "Blair, it's me." He spoke, closing the door behind him. His eyes immediately landed on her lying on her bed facing away from the doorway.

For a few seconds Blair said nothing, for a few seconds she didn't even move. "Dorota was supposed to make sure you didn't come upstairs."

Chuck nodded. "She is as worried about you as I am."

Blair laughed but the laugh held nothing behind it.

"What's going on with you Blair?" Chuck asked approaching her bed. But he wasn't ready for what she did next.

Rolling over to face Chuck, Blair focused her empty eyes on him. "You wanted me to feel it, well now I do."

Chuck's entire body felt a shock as he observed her form. She was much too thin, there was no way she'd been eating. And her eyes, her eyes were dead. Seeing her like this killed him. He kneeled as though to sit down next to her on the bed but Blair didn't even flinch as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Oh god Blair."

"Stay away from me Chuck." She spoke, in the same lifeless dead voice.

"Blair." Looking at her Chuck's stomach twisted and bile rose to his throat. "What are you doing to yourself?"

Sliding further back on the bed, away from Chuck's touch Blair glared at him. "Just leave."

Fear rippled through him, fear and desperation. And Chuck asked the one thing he swore he wouldn't, he was simply so scared that he had to. He had to be willing to do anything. "Is there anyone you'd talk to?" He asked having no idea how similar his words sounded to those Jack had spoken right after Blair had first thought she was pregnant.

She knew what he was inferring with his words, she knew he was asking if he'd talk to Jack if Jack came and for the first time in days Blair felt something other than the pain, the all-consuming ripping pain. Jack might understand, Jack might know how she felt. "Yes."

Chuck's heart clenched but he knew he had to do whatever it took to make Blair okay again. If she wasn't going to talk to him, she had to talk to someone and as much as Chuck didn't want that person to be Jack if that's what she needed, that's what he'd give her. "Okay." Chuck said, doing his best to keep the pain from his voice as he walked out of the room.

Chuck went straight to Bass Industries to find Jack, knowing from Lily that he spent all of his time in his office now, rarely if ever leaving. Approaching the door he straightened his spine. He'd sworn to do whatever it took to help Blair and if this would help her, he would do it. Knocking, he waited for Jack's response before he entered.

Jack's eyebrows rose as he saw that it was Chuck in his doorway; the only person he expected less was Blair. "What are you doing here nephew?"

Chuck shook his head, running one hand through his hair. "As much as I don't want to say this, Blair needs you."

Jack scoffed. "Lily's already been here, I doubt you have anything to say that she hasn't already said."

Chuck absorbed that information quickly. Lily must have come after her conversation with Blair a few days ago. "Blair's worse now."

"Worse?" Jack asked, feeling fear flicker into his system for the first time.

Chuck nodded solemnly, something he rarely did. "Before she wasn't feeling anything, she was locking it away, pretending she was fine and nothing happened. I was determined to make her feel her pain so that she could grieve and-"

"She collapsed emotionally." Jack finished. He knew Blair, knew the way she worked. Part of that was knowing the way that she dealt with - or didn't deal with - things.

Chuck nodded again. "She's not eating, I don't think she's sleeping, and she won't talk to me."

Jack shook his head. "I'm not the answer Chuck. The last thing Blair needs is me, I ruined her."

Chuck exhaled, hating what he was about to say. "You're wrong. You're the only one who can bring Blair back from this; you are the only one she's willing to talk to."

Jack smirked slightly. It wasn't that the situation was funny, only that he knew the answer before the question had even been asked; it surprised him that Chuck was so blind. He could hear the fear in Chuck's voice and he felt his own fear for Blair but he knew that at least part of Chuck's fear stemmed from his helplessness. Chuck would have had to be desperate to come to him and in the end it was quite ironic. "Don't have such little faith in yourself nephew. She loves you and she was there for you when you were at your lowest. She brought you back from the ledge and I don't just mean that figuratively."

"You don't understand Jack I'm trying. But she won't talk to me, she won't let me in." Chuck spat angrily, his frustration getting the better of him. He had to make Jack understand; otherwise he didn't know what would happen.

This time Jack smiled. He saw the passion in Chuck; he saw everything he needed to see. Chuck loved Blair; he loved her like she was the sun and the moon. Feeling a certain strength rush through him, Jack knew that what he was about to do was right. "Don't second guess yourself Chuck. You know her." Chuck was about to shake his head but Jack raised his hand, when he spoke his voice was as close to fatherly as he imagined it ever had been. "No, you know her. You've always known her. Ask yourself what she needs and then give it to her."

Chuck was about to correct Jack but he stopped right after opening his mouth. His mind backtracked quickly through the past few weeks with Blair, even further back than that. And then he knew, he knew what Blair needed.

Jack nodded. "Go, take care of our girl." And though it hurt to say it, Jack realized then that he was more certain that ever that he'd done the right thing in walking away. He was never going to stop loving Blair but at the same time he knew that it was Chuck she was meant to be with. He was the reason that Chuck now second guessed himself about Blair, without him they would be fine.

Chuck looked at Jack strangely. He no longer understood his uncle. He knew that Jack had been the bigger man, the better man in some respects but after everything he'd done to get Blair, Chuck didn't understand why. So for the first time in a very long time Chuck looked at Jack like his uncle rather than his competition and asked the question. "Why?"

Jack didn't have to ask what Chuck meant, he knew and after all of this time he finally had an answer. "She was never meant to be with me. She was always yours."

Chuck didn't say anything for a minute, hoping Jack would say more but his next words weren't what Chuck was expecting.

"I'm going back to Australia, for real this time." He spoke sure of himself, of his decision.

Furrowing his brows slightly Chuck shook his head. "You don't have to do that."

Jack almost smiled because after everything it appeared that he and Chuck were finally reaching an agreement of sorts. "I need to, for myself."

Nodding in understanding Chuck turned, they'd said everything to one another that they needed to say. Just as he reached the door, Chuck's head turned and he almost smiled. "Thank you Jack."

Jack gave a curt nod but said nothing more. And as Chuck walked out of his office he felt like things would be okay. He would handle his own pain at letting her go and losing the baby and he could as long as he knew that somewhere out there she was happy.

* * *

Chuck almost smiled as the elevator doors opened. He saw Dorota still sitting in the foyer but he knew she wouldn't try to stop him anymore. After leaving Jack's office, Chuck had been excited to get back, excited to be there for Blair because he finally knew what he'd been missing all along. It wasn't something Jack could tell him, he had to simply know.

It was his own fault for missing it for so long. He wasn't thinking, he wasn't trusting himself but now, now he knew without a doubt exactly what he needed to tell Blair for her to let him in. He was stupid for not saying it earlier, stupid for not realizing that he was the one not letting her in instead of the other way around.

He didn't knock this time; he just walked inside and took a seat on Blair's bed where she was still laying.

Blair didn't move she just spoke with the same tone she had before. "What are you doing back here Chuck?"

_**Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in  
Because it's cold outside cold outside it's cold out side**_

Once more Chuck almost smiled. "I'm back because you're going to talk to me." Blair scoffed but Chuck kept talking. "You're not fine, you're in pain, and I won't stand by anymore while you waste away. I won't, I can't do nothing."

Blair shook her head almost subconsciously as she sat up in her bed, leaning against the pillows propped up there. "Chuck don't do this, don't go there." She was practically begging and she knew it but it wouldn't do any good for Chuck to stand there and ask her to confide in him. He didn't get it, he didn't understand.

_**Share with me the secrets that you kept in  
Because it's cold inside cold inside it's cold inside **_

Recalling the memory a few weeks back that had given him a new determination to help her, Chuck spoke as closely to her words as he could. "One day, not that long ago even though it feels like a lifetime from here. You told a scared boy that he couldn't handle his pain alone. You said that I had to tell you what I was thinking and how I was feeling or I wasn't going to get better."

Blair shook her head. "This is different Chuck. You lost your father, this isn't the same thing."

_**And your slowly shaking finger tips  
Show that your scared like me so  
Lets pretend were alone**_

Chuck nodded "You're right it's not the same but it doesn't change the fact that you have to talk to someone. When I contradicted you that day when I lashed out in response you said: there's nothing that will make the pain stop. There isn't a cure and I know that but there's some things you need to realize. You can't keep going on like this, hiding things inside is only going to make everything hurt more because you are dealing with it all by yourself."

Blair was surprised as he quoted her almost directly. She remembered saying those words to him and she'd meant it. What did it mean that she couldn't even take her own advice, though even then she found herself shaking her head? "Just stop trying Chuck."

_**And I know you may be scared  
And I know we're unprepared  
But I don't care **_

"Talk to me Blair. Talk to me and I'll stop." Chuck said imploringly, trying the old way one last time. He knew where he'd have to go with this conversation, he knew what he'd have to say but he wanted her to open up just a little bit further first.

Blair kept shaking her head, her lips shaking like her hands. "I can't Chuck. I just can't."

Chuck reached out and placed a hand on the side of her face. "You can Blair."

_**Tell me tell me  
What makes you think that you are invincible  
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure  
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible **_

"You don't understand, you don't feel it." Blair trying her best to explain what seemed to be an inexplicable feeling. Alone was the closest word she could find but that simply wasn't it.

Chuck smirked knowing finally beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was right, knowing why she didn't think she could talk to him. And now that she was finally speaking, even if it was only a few words, he would tell her how wrong she was.

_**And it's true I cant go on without you  
Your smile makes me see clear  
If you could only see in the mirror what I see **_

Blair shook her head as his hand slid from her face to her neck to her shoulder. "I tried once, I tried but you didn't get it."

Chuck nodded. "When you first thought you were pregnant and I was happy that you weren't." Chuck responded, his gaze saying everything that his words didn't. His eyes telling her that he knew what her fears were, he knew why she thought she was by herself in her pain.

_**And your slow shaking finger tips  
Show that your scared like me so  
Lets pretend were alone**_

"How did you. . .?" Blair started, completely thrown off her guard.

"You don't think that I loved the baby." Chuck spoke his voice gentle and understanding. "You don't think I loved it like you and Jack loved it."

_**And I know you may be scared  
And I know were unprepared  
But I don't care **_

Blair's stunned silence was all that he needed to confirm that this was exactly what she meant; this was what she thought he didn't understand. And all that Blair could do was sit there; there were no words for her current feeling.

Chuck let the hand that was on her shoulder slide down and take her hand. "I loved that baby. When I found out that you'd been pregnant and lost it because of me, I wanted to die. Was I anxious about being a father? I was terrified, after the mistakes my father made and I was terrified because Bass babies have that awful history of ending in death."

_**Tell me tell me  
What makes you think that you are invincible  
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure  
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible**_

Blair's eyes watered slightly as she heard Chuck's words. Her heart clenched as so many memories of how Chuck felt inadequate due to the things his father said and did, the memories that they'd bonded over so long ago, back when they were just children.

"But being scared didn't mean that I didn't love the baby. It doesn't mean that I'm not grieving too." He could see it as one question in particular rose to Blair's eyes and answered it before she felt that she had to ask. "I would love anything that was a part of you, whether it was a part of me or not."

_**Slow down girl you're not going anywhere  
Just wait around and see**_

One tear slid down Blair's face as she took the hand that held Chuck's and squeezed tightly though by his next words she knew that her eyes must have conveyed a sort of skepticism or indecision.

Chuck shook his head slightly. "You don't realize how much I love you. You picked me second and I'm still here. You know that I know that. I'm always going to be here. So talk to me."

_**Maybe I'm much more you never no what lies ahead  
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything**_

Blair bit her lip slightly before the tears finally seemed to fall. And she was in Chuck's arms before she knew it. "I didn't pick you second because I loved you any less." She spoke into his chest.

Chuck simply held her as the waves of relief washed over him. "I didn't deserve for you to pick me, not after what I had done to you. I was such a child."

_**Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed  
I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need **_

Blair held onto him more tightly, never wanting to let go. She hadn't realized, she hadn't realized that he knew, really knew what she was going through. "Why didn't you say anything to me? You spent all your time making sure I was okay, why didn't you just tell me you felt it too?"

Placing a soft kiss on the top of Blair's head, when Chuck spoke he was surprised to find his own words shaky. "I loved something I never knew I had. I assumed that your pain was so much worse and as much as I loved the baby I loved you more. I was more worried about you and making sure that you were okay."

_**Tell me tell me  
What makes you think that you are invincible  
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure  
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible **_

Blair buried her head into his chest at his words wanting nothing more than what she had right there. She cried as Chuck continued to speak to her about plans he made in his head for the child he hadn't known he had. He told her the thoughts of what the child would never grow to be that he'd had as he sat in the hospital that day while Jack talked to her.

And as Chuck shared his pain with her, Blair let herself share her pain with him. He knew that what she felt was more and the weight of her pain was severe but Chuck let himself feel it, thankful that she was finally letting him.

Holding Chuck tightly to her, Blair continued to let everything come pouring out of her, looking up at him briefly she allowed her eyes to meet his. "Thank you and I love you too."

It was a few hours later when Blair finally ran out of tears and fell asleep cradled against him but Chuck held her close all night. Simply listening to the beating of her heart as it beat in time with his was enough to sustain him as he kept watch over her. It wasn't until the sun began to rise that he finally allowed his eyes to close.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it. For those hardcore Chuck fans out there, please note that while he did go to Jack for help, Chuck knew the answer all along, he'd just forgotten how to trust himself when it comes to Blair (he won't be making that mistake again).

**Lastly, I'm a totally review whore so please give the little button below a click and let me know what you think. Please and thank you.**

xoxo - kate


	38. Back to Blair Waldorf

**Second to last full chapter (before the two part epilogue) get excited! Hope you enjoy this chapter because it's one of my favorites. **

**The song is Walk Away by The Script. Last song for this fanfic! **

**To my reviewers: **QueenBee10, GGfanficfan09, LeftWriter224, CB Always, Krazy4Spike , lily94, LitPrincess2787, annablake, LisaLevine, LovelyLydia, fanofstories, Alisha Winchester Collins, bfan, CarolinaGirl21, and SouthernBelle88. **Thanks for the awesome reviews, I'm sorry I didn't reply individually this time I got really sick right after updating and it threw off my rhythm a bit. **

* * *

**Chapter 38  
Back to Blair Waldorf  
**

"How are you today?" Chuck asked as Blair stepped into the limo. It had been a little over a week since the breakthrough and Blair was looking like a completely different person. He knew she still needed time but in truth so did he. The great thing was, they had it.

Blair bit her lip, forcing herself to be honest. After all if she was going to be honest with anyone, that person was Chuck. "Today I'm okay. It's not like yesterday."

Chuck remembered yesterday all too well. It had been at lunch when one of the other girls referenced the Jack mess at the Spring Gala where Blair had had her "pregnancy scare." Of course they knew now that it hadn't been a scare and it had sent Blair into a complete panic attack. They'd left school and gone to the park where they'd spent the rest of the afternoon talking. Yesterday had not been a good day.

"But it still hurts." Chuck said softly, not so much talking about her as about himself. As much as he wouldn't want to admit it to anyone but Blair, the memories brought up by her minions yesterday had affected him too. Perhaps it was the careless way the girl had brought it up as though it were some funny anecdote - even Serena had laughed.

Blair nodded, taking Chuck's hand for the short drive to school. "It still hurts, so much. But today is better; today I don't feel like the world is devoid of anything good."

Chuck nodded because he knew what she meant. The pain of losing the baby didn't hit him the way it hit her and it never would for a number of reasons. As much as he'd loved what he'd lost, it was true that he hadn't had the time to really make plans, and it seemed as though every day with that baby had made Blair more attached. "Today's a big day though isn't it?" Chuck asked as he remembered something people had been whispering about the day before.

Blair raised her eyebrows, at first she was confused but then she realized what Chuck must be referring to. "You mean the announcement of Valedictorian?" She asked.

"Of course, we already know you have it in the bag." Chuck said nonchalantly because no one was as driven as Blair, there's no way someone managed to beat her.

Blair shook her head slightly. "I didn't get it."

Chuck furrowed his brows. "What do you mean? We aren't even at school yet."

Blair took out her phone and handed to him so that he could see the Gossip Girl blast. "Apparently they posted it on the bulletin board this morning. Nelly Yuki is the Constance Billard Valedictorian and Dan Humphrey is the St. Jude's Valedictorian. Peter Chancellor and I are the Salutatorians."

"This is bullshit." Chuck said, surprised at his own anger. "You should be Valedictorian and you know it."

Blair simply shook her head, speaking slowly. "No I shouldn't Chuck. I'm not that girl anymore." Noticing the affected look on Chuck's face Blair took his hand. "I made a lot of choices this spring, choices that gave me a lot and took a lot from me but I wouldn't, no…I couldn't, have chosen differently. Those choices changed who I am and if that means I'm not the bitchy perfectionist anymore, I'm okay with that. Nelly Yuki can have it."

"I love you." Chuck spoke hardly believing the words coming from Blair's mouth. She'd always been the most intelligent woman he knew but in the past she'd always had trouble really seeing herself; now that problem appeared to be nonexistent. "That hasn't and will never change."

Blair smiled, realizing that it wasn't a fake smile but a true one for the first time she could remember. "I love you too Chuck."

As he helped her out of the limo at school, Blair was nothing less than the picture of perfection. She congratulated Nelly Yuki with words that were actually sincere and accepted congratulations in return. Walking into the school Chuck leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Regardless of what you said in the car I'm still surprised that you are so completely okay with this."

At that Blair smirked. "It's hard not to be when I'm the one that got Yale. Nelly Yuki is going to Georgetown."

Chuck couldn't hold back the laugh that rippled upwards through his gut. He laughed so hard he almost choked on his next words. "That's not even an Ivy."

Blair simply shook her head, feeling laughter of her own bubble up. She couldn't say that the moment wasn't a little tense, a little strained, and she could see in Chuck's eyes that he felt the same; but it still felt good to be able to laugh again. It felt normal.

* * *

Jack was walking down the hall, coming from a meeting with a couple of the lawyers about resuming his place at Bass Australia when he hesitated. It had been a few weeks since he'd talked to Chuck and longer than that since Lily had approached him so he assumed that everything had worked out but there was a clawing feeling in his gut that needed to know for sure that Blair was okay.

He knew Lily was in her office and it would be so easy just to slip in for one moment and ask her what he wanted to know. Nodding to himself, he turned to face her doorway, the doorway that still read: Blair Waldorf, CEO. It would only take a minute and it didn't count as interfering since Blair and Chuck would never know. This way he'd be able to make sure that Blair was fine and no one would be affected.

Nodding again he placed his hand on the door and knocked, fully convinced that this was the right thing. It would only take one moment to ease all of his worries and then he'd be able to go back to Australia without worry that he'd left a broken Blair Waldorf behind.

Lily had instructed the person knocking on her door to come inside almost out of habit and was surprised to look up and see Jack standing before her. She was of the opinion that Jack tended to avoid her at all costs. "Jack, what can I help you with?" She asked, knowing he must need something. Though even as she asked her question she couldn't help but think that Jack appeared to be standing before her, somewhat nervous.

Inhaling deeply Jack prepared to speak as every bit of rationalization he'd conjured to give him an excuse to do this fled his mind and he was left only with his desperation to know that Blair was okay. "How is she?" He finally asked.

Lily leaned back in her chair surprised. She had assumed Jack was here for something business related but as he'd gotten around such so far she should have known it was something different. Thinking about his question, Lily knew there was a right and a wrong way to answer it. While she didn't want to make Jack think that Blair was in worse shape than she was, she didn't want to be overly optimistic either in case there came a day when Jack had to be the one to speak to her. "She's better." Lily responded carefully, purposefully not using Blair's name. "Something I understand you had a lot to do with."

Jack couldn't prevent the wave of relief that washed through him, forcing the breath he'd been holding out of his lungs. "I didn't tell Chuck anything he didn't already know. He just needed reassurance."

Lily nodded. "Still, thank you for getting through to him."

Jack begrudgingly accepted the compliment, knowing that denying it wasn't of any use. "So you think she'll be okay."

Sighing, Lily clasped her hands together in front of her. "It doesn't make you a bad person if you want to see her."

Jack looked away, knowing that Lily was seeing straight through him, straight through his act. "I can't do that, not to her, not again. So if you could just tell me that Blair's going to be okay I'd really appreciate it."

Lily had never seen Jack look so utterly vulnerable and the sight was almost frightening; it was almost as though she were a child watching her father cry because it was something that seemed to defy the laws of nature; which could be the only explanation for what she did next. "Graduation is next week, Blair's Salutatorian. She and Serena have been spending a lot of time together; they have regular shopping trips and sleepovers again. Blair hasn't decided one way or the other what she's doing this fall. As you know she was accepted at Yale, but Columbia has offered her a place should she chose to come back to Bass Industries."

Pausing a moment she debated whether or not to say more but the look in Jack's eyes couldn't let her stop. "Blair's managed to be surprisingly involved while staying in school; she and I meet every other day and discuss the company. She purchased property in Brooklyn that she wants to turn into a hotel. It's something she really believes in and it's been good for her to be so involved with something. She is improving, there are up days and down days from what I hear but the number of up days is increasing. She's a fighter, but we always knew that."

Jack almost smiled as Lily spoke. He knew she didn't have to do that, to give him all that information, just like she knew that he could never bring himself to ask; but he was more grateful than he could say to her for telling him. "Thank you." He spoke softly as she finished.

Lily simply nodded knowingly as Jack turned and left the room. She tried to stay out of the love triangle between Jack, Chuck, and Blair but she didn't see the problem in helping when asked and as the only outside party with contact with each of them she had formed opinions of her own about the situation; but those she'd keep to herself.

* * *

Serena shook her head as she watched Chuck and Blair walk over hand in hand, leaving the junior Chloe Firestone standing shell shocked behind them. She knew it must have been a big takedown to involve both of them. "What did she do?" Serena asked as the pair came to rest in front of her.

Chuck looked at Blair as she smiled, that was her triumphant smile, it was the one she wore after the kill; a few minutes ago he'd watched her give Chloe Firestone the dangerous smile, one of his favorites, as Blair ripped her to shreds. Chuck gestured to Blair, "I'll let you do the honors, this one was you."

Blair shot him a smirk before focusing on Serena. "The little witch thought she could simply name herself Queen. Can you believe it S, she was walking around proclaiming herself the new Queen of Constance and I haven't even graduated yet? Not to mention that I'm the only one who can declare the new Queen."

Serena laughed, noticing that Blair was more herself in that moment than she'd seen her in a long time. The whole mess with Jack and Chuck and Bass Industries had taken a toll on her friend and she was glad to see her back. "I'm sure you set her straight."

"Oh I did." Blair said almost coyly. "It took some assistance from Chuck to accomplish complete humiliation but it was worth it."

Serena tilted her head slightly, watching as Chuck slid an arm around Blair's waist and brought her closer. "So what did you do?"

Almost immediately their phones beeped and Serena rolled her eyes as she looked down; of course Gossip Girl would be the first to break the news.

**Oh my my, sounds like little Chloe Firestone just had the crown jerked from her grasp by the reigning Queen B before she could even place it on that oversized head of hers. And it was a takedown in true Queen B style as she partnered with our favorite Basshole to do the deed. It's hard to believe it but Chloe actually thought C would leave his Queen for the "new one." Needless to say this didn't end well for Chloe, full details below. **

Serena looked up at Blair and Chuck waiting for an explanation. This time it was Chuck who complied.

"I merely suggested that I might be interested in following power, the idiotic girl did the rest." Chuck said gesturing towards the girl who was being comforted by what appeared to be her only friend left.

Blair smirked at Chuck as she leaned her back against him, allowing him to wrap both hands around her waist. "And when the twit tried to flirt with him he dropped her like last year's Marc Jacobs hand bag and I joined him for the proper takedown."

Chuck linked his fingers with hers and smiled almost cheesily. "We make a pretty good team."

"Always have." Blair said lowly before turning her head to place a brief kiss on his lips.

In front of them Serena groaned. "Seriously guys, you're disgusting."

Blair looked back forward laughing. "Like you and Humphrey are any better."

Serena shrugged, knowing it was true and instead moved to another point of interest. "So not to be a spoil sport but I did think you were going to crown Chloe the new queen. I heard the rumors of what she was saying and I thought perhaps you already had."

Blair lifted one eyebrow at Serena before her eyes landed on someone else approaching the steps of the Met. Serena followed her eyes glad for an excuse to quit watching the escalating romance in front of her as Chuck was practically sexually assaulting Blair's neck. But even looking where she thought Blair was looking she didn't see anything of interest. There were a few freshman gathered together but Blair wouldn't go there. The rest of Chloe's click had assembled near the base of the steps one member short. Some of Blair's girls were approaching but they were all seniors unless. . .

Serena's head snapped forward so quickly she thought she felt something pop but she was too surprised to really think about it. "You don't mean . . .?" She asked leadingly.

Blair smirked. "I do. I figure I'll crown her at Nate's Graduation party Saturday night. I'd thought about doing it today since it's the last day of class before exams but this Chloe thing would be tainting it for her and I wouldn't want that."

Serena actually smiled broadly. "Well look at you, all grown up. I must say I'm rather impressed. I didn't think you'd actually do it."

Blair laughed partially because Chuck's kisses were tickling her and partially because of Serena's comment. "Your faith in me is simply overwhelming Serena."

"I didn't mean it like that, I just . . ." Serena started trying to explain herself.

Blair simply shook her head. "Don't worry about it Serena, I know what you meant and honestly I can't blame you after everything I put the girl through over the past two years you'd think I'd sooner install the typical pick which would have been Chloe; but it's always been Jenny. I decided that around the time she took me down last year. Jenny Humphrey will be the next Queen of Constance, she's earned it."

Serena simply nodded and when she spoke it was with a bright smile on her face. "Well as much as I'd like to know more I think the two of you might need to go somewhere private." She said as she gestured towards the increasing levels of PDA from Chuck and Blair.

Blair laughed and disentangled herself from Chuck, who's hands had been running along the sides of her body as he moved his kisses between her neck and her jaw. "Don't go S, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

Chuck frowned. "Hey, I liked the idea of going somewhere private."

Blair laughed once more before shooting him what he referred to as her seduction smile. "There will be plenty of time for that after school."

Chuck continued frowning as he whined. "But I'm ready now."

Almost giving in Blair rubbed her hips against him seductively. "I can see that." She said with a smirk before stepping away. "Now go find Nate and smoke a joint or something. I'll see you after school."

As Chuck walked away he shot her the Chuck Bass version of a pout but she was unrelenting as she simply shook her head. They'd been so outwardly sexual but they hadn't actually slept together yet; Blair hadn't been ready after losing the baby. But they were getting close, she could feel it. When Blair turned back to Serena she shrugged. "Sorry about that."

Serena shook her head smiling. "I've never seen you like this before, either of you."

Blair shrugged. "What can I say, we're in a good place right now. Which is kind of what I wanted to talk to you about, Chuck's birthday is the 19th. I know it's only a couple days after graduation but we never do anything for his birthday so I was thinking we could throw him a party."

"Are you happy?" Serena asked, surprising even herself at the fact that instead of responding to Blair's statement concerning Chuck's birthday she'd taken such a serious turn. The talk between the two of them quieted for a moment as Serena stared at Blair and Blair looked anywhere but at Serena. "I know we never really talk about the car accident. All I know is that you went away with Jack, you and Chuck were in a car crash, then the next thing I know you are back with Chuck and Jack is out of the picture."

Blair swallowed tightly. This was one of the prices she paid for never telling Serena the whole story but she'd made that decision a long time ago and it was one she was standing by. But she could tell her the rest without the one part that hurt the most. Blair's face found the sun and she relaxed into it as she spoke. "Jack and I shared something very special on that mountain but he made the decision to end things because he didn't want me to have to choose between him and Chuck for forever. It's when I was leaving that I was in the accident, I was upset and swerved to avoid hitting a dear and my car crossed into the other lane, Chuck's lane."

Blair paused momentarily, pulling herself together. She was surprised at how easy it was to talk about things now, almost as though she were talking about someone else and not herself but she knew she'd need all of her strength for the next part. "In the hospital Jack told me nothing had changed that he was still done. He said some terrible things. . ."

"Like what?" Serena asked interrupting as her curiosity got the better of her.

Blair just shook her head. "It's not important. I know he didn't mean them. Chuck came in after that and we agreed to see where things went."

Serena's brows furrowed even as she nodded in understanding. "But for a while I really didn't think you were okay."

Blair pursed her lips debating for the last time whether or not she should tell Serena the truth just as she was about to carry on with the rest of the story Serena spoke again.

"I was so worried about you B. I knew something terrible was wrong but I didn't know what and I had to pretend like everything was fine so that you didn't push me away." Serena explained. This was the first honest conversation she'd had with Blair in such a long time that she couldn't help but tell her how she'd been feeling. "Whatever it is B, you can tell me."

Blair felt her heartbeat quicken in her chest as her hands began to shake, one of which Serena immediately took in hers. "I was pregnant. When the car crash happened I was pregnant and now I'm not." Blair spoke, each word a battle with herself.

Serena's heart jerked as it ached for her best friend. She'd been dealing with this for over a month and the pregnancy longer than that. "I've never felt like a worse friend." Serena spoke sincerely.

Blair shook her head. "Serena don't, I didn't tell you, that isn't your fault."

Taking Blair's other hand in hers Serena squeezed tightly. "Yeah but if I'd actually been around you wouldn't have had to tell me, I would have known." They stood there like that for a moment not saying much of anything before Blair spoke again.

"I was going to get it taken care of. Jack convinced me otherwise but when I defended Chuck's right to know if it was his, that's when things went downhill with Jack." Blair spoke quickly. "Chuck didn't know until after the accident."

Serena knew she was crying but she didn't care, she simply pulled Blair to her. "Oh B, I'm so sorry."

Blair let Serena hold her for a minute and even shed a few tears herself before pulling back and looking in Serena's eyes. "So if I'm unhappy, don't feel like that's Chuck's doing because it isn't. Chuck has been wonderful and he's been dealing with this too. I get sad sometimes but I'm getting better."

"What about Jack?" Serena asked cautiously.

Blair's eyes darkened ever so slightly. "He's not in the picture at all." She could see that Serena was about to say something and couldn't help but think like mother like daughter. While Lily had tried to stay mum on the subject, it was clear that she thought that Blair and Jack had unfinished business; not that she would say that to her son's girlfriend. "His choice, not mine." Blair spoke directly, making sure Serena understood her loud and clear. "He left me at the cabin, he walked out on me at the hospital, and he hasn't returned any of my calls. So regardless of the fact that he pulled me out of the wrecked car, he is done with me."

Serena looked at Blair curiously and was about to ask a question when Blair continued talking.

"Sometimes I wonder why he just didn't let me die if he didn't want to be with me." She spoke, barely believing she'd dared to speak the words she'd thought a hundred times. She knew the answer, or at least she thought she did and knew that under no circumstances would Jack have been okay if she had died but sometimes the bitter part of her had to ask.

Serena gasped in shock. "He walked away because he loves you Blair; he walked away because he thought you were better without him. Even I can see that much."

Blair bit her bottom lip slightly as she nodded. "Aren't you supposed to be on Chuck's side?"

Serena laughed softly. "Oh don't worry I am, I'm just saying I understand what Jack did and to be honest I respect it." Pausing only to make sure Blair had heard her she asked a slightly more amusing question. "And just out of curiosity how many times did the great Blair Waldorf lower herself far enough to call a man who claimed he didn't want her?"

Blair wrinkled her nose, not particularly wanting to say but feeling at this point like she had to. "Since you asked, I called twice. Once pretty soon after the accident when I was a zombie and once last week."

Raising her eyebrows slightly Serena gave Blair a strange look. "The first one I get, you were still dealing with things full force but why last week?"

At that Blair almost laughed. "You know what, I have no idea. I think I did it without really thinking. Something happened and I thought 'wow I have to tell Jack' and didn't remember that I couldn't until after it went to voice mail." Serena shook her head and Blair could tell there was something she wanted to say but this time she wasn't going to let her. "Now back to Chuck's party, I was thinking all out, what do you say?"

* * *

Blair couldn't help but smile as she talked to Caroline, her old assistant. There was a part of being at Bass Industries that made her feel so powerful and centered. It wasn't that she didn't feel strong at school, she was Queen, of course she did. But with Bass, she knew she had accomplished something great and it was a rush of pride that she felt. Simply the atmosphere of being back in the building made her feel good. "I've missed it around here." She said wistfully.

Caroline laughed. "Sure you have, I'm sure high school is much better than the constant headache of the office. Please, I'm the one who's missed you. Now the closest people to my age are the slimy interns and then Ben Barnes who's almost 30. No one else is high enough up to deal with the secretary to the CEO."

Blair smiled again, Caroline wasn't alone, she'd missed the companionship too. "You're right in some respects; I don't miss the headaches but the knowledge of doing a hard day's work that actually meant something, that was big."

"So have you decided what you are going to do now?" Caroline asked, referencing the fact that Blair had two choices, Yale and a new life, or Columbia and Bass Industries and the clock was ticking on her decision.

Blair nodded giving Caroline a secretive smile. "I actually have. I think I always knew what I would do."

"And . . ." Caroline said leadingly.

Blair smiled but shook her head. "I wish I could tell you, you know I do but there are other people who have to know first."

Caroline sighed. "Come on Blair, I can keep a secret."

Blair gave one more shake of her head as she stood. "I know that, but I have to have enough respect for them to let them know my decision before I tell anyone else."

Caroline nodded understandingly but realized that Blair's attention was no longer focused on her; rather her eyes were locked with someone down the hall. Following Blair's gaze Caroline's eyes found Jack Bass and she couldn't help but smile. "Go on, then there's one less person you have to tell before me."

Blair laughed but didn't deny the truth of the statement before she began walking, almost surprised that he didn't move to hide. This was the first time she'd seen him since the hospital, even with her trips to the office to see Lily and though she tried her best to ignore the pain in her heart she wanted so badly to hear him speak. Though as she came to a stop before him she didn't know what she'd say.

_**I don't know why she's with me  
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me  
If I was her, by now I would have left me  
I would have walked away  
But now I've broken away**_

"Hey." Jack spoke quietly. Barely believing he'd managed words. When he first saw her perched on the corner of Caroline's desk he'd thought he was hallucinating or maybe simply daydreaming but when her eyes had locked with his he'd known otherwise. Her presence had shocked him so deeply he couldn't bring himself to move, though his head screamed otherwise. Now she was standing two feet away from him and she looked damn good. He didn't know what to say, so he'd said the only word he could muster.

Blair smiled almost shyly finding that her entire body was anxious. "Hey yourself." After a moment of them standing there in silence she spoke again. "Is there somewhere we could go talk, I'll only take a minute."

Jack nodded despite himself and knew that he was doomed all over again. Blair Waldorf's quicksand was just as dangerous for him as it had ever been. "Is my office okay?" He asked, his mouth seeming to move of its own volition.

_**Somehow instead she forgave me  
She said a woman's got to do what she's got to do  
Even if it means she denied herself the truth  
Cause when you're in too deep you wake up when it's too late,**_

Blair simply nodded and fell into step next to him as they moved down the hallway. She didn't want to talk about the reason she was here in public so instead she made small talk. Nervously speaking words she was sure that he already knew. "Graduation's tomorrow."

"I've heard." Jack spoke, astonished with the way just being in her presence made him feel. He'd told himself he'd exaggerated the feeling in memory but in truth he hadn't done it justice. It was as though a pleasant hum was sweeping through his body even as he struggled with how to act around her, with what to do with his hands.

Blair nodded. "I lost Valedictorian to Nelly Yuki." She spoke, her nerves at being near Jack again almost showing in her voice. Her heart was beating just a little bit more quickly than it should and she had to work to stay perfectly calm. It was strange and surprising in so many ways, she'd almost forgotten how it felt to be near him.

_**You've fallen in love in the worst way  
And if you don't go now then you'll stay  
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe  
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me**_

Jack shrugged, doing his best to feign nonchalance. "Valedictorian was never your thing. You're much too driven and involved in other things to waste that much time studying."

Blair looked at Jack curiously because that had been her argument to Chuck. Sometimes it was still a shock how well he knew her, the real her. "How did you know that?"

Realizing he'd begun to let himself be candid around her Jack tried to reel it back in. "Just a hunch." He spoke as he closed the door to his office behind them, but he couldn't resist another comment, knowing once more that she'd likely react. "Besides you got Yale anyway."

_**So walk away  
Walk away  
Save yourself from the heartache  
Go now before it's too late**_

Blair nodded surprised once more as Jack had seemed to follow her same thought process. She was going to say something about that but Jack didn't stop speaking.

"Something you'd be crazy to give up." He said with eyes full of implications. Blair almost laughed and Jack shook his head. "Tell me you're not giving up on Yale, it's your dream."

"That's actually kind of why I wanted to talk to you." Blair spoke smoothly. She continued speaking, explaining what she'd been doing at the office today. Her words carefully spoken as she tried to keep her distance  
from him physically even if she was struggling to do so emotionally. Jack had made it clear he was done with her and she didn't want to make him uncomfortable. As she finished she leveled her gaze back on Jack. "How do you feel about that?" Her question completely sincere.

_**So walk away  
Walk away  
Save yourself from the heartache  
Go now before it's too late  
But still she stays**_

Jack furrowed his brows for a moment. A little surprised at what Blair had told him but mostly proud. "I trust you." He spoke, sitting on the edge of his desk. Now facing her he began to take her in once more. The last time he'd seen her she'd been in the hospital as he'd banned himself from looking at the Gossip Girl website determining that it wasn't good for him.

Blair sighed, he was always like that. Short phrases as he tried to force her to trust her gut, he hadn't changed at all. "And by that you mean . . ."

"It's the right thing. It's time." Jack responded, more certain of his words than he could actually convey. He hadn't wanted to sway her by his words but since they agreed he didn't see why it'd be a big deal. Not thinking about the risk of connection that existed in that moment. "Have you told Chuck yet?"

Blair shook her head a little jolted at the mention of Chuck. "Not yet. I wanted to talk to legal first, get some things straightened out."

_**She's standing in the heart of darkness  
Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless  
How could any woman in their right mind be so blind,  
To find something to save  
Instead of walking with me she should have walked away**_

Jack nodded. "I'm a little surprised. I figured he would have played a big role in your decision."

Blair laughed, it was a fake laugh and she knew it but she was still trying to cover her nerves or at this point lack-there-of. She was too comfortable around him for where they were now in their relationship. "Chuck was actually great through the whole thing. He didn't even try to sway me towards one school or the other."

"He's grown up." Jack said with a smile of what could only be considered pride. The Chuck he knew wanted to rebuild his father's legacy so badly that he would have been giving subtle hints along the way but apparently that had changed and Jack was mildly surprised at the happiness it brought him.

Blair nodded, walking a little bit closer, daring to trust her instincts if only for a moment. "I think we all have. Even you." As she came to rest next to Jack on the edge of the desk she looked at him for a long moment before speaking. "Lily tells me you're going back to Australia."

_**She finds color in the darkest places  
She finds beauty in the saddest of faces  
For such a clued in, headstrong city girl  
Could've had the world but she's fallen in love in the worst way**_

Jack gave one curt nod, his eyes not leaving hers. "I am."

"When?" Blair asked her eyes unblinking.

"Next week." Jack answered, still unable to look away.

_**And if you don't go now then you'll stay  
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe  
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me**_

Blair mumbled a response, something completely unimportant like an 'oh' or an 'ah' but it was lost in the silence of the moment. Or rather, the silence was too loud for it to be heard as it was pregnant with all the things they weren't saying and all the feelings they were hiding.

In that moment Jack wanted to say so much. He wanted to say how much he missed her, how much he loved her, how much he had loved the baby but he forced his mouth to stay shut even if he couldn't force himself to look away from her. He felt it though as waves of silent conversation passed between them, conversation that couldn't happen.

There was no way to measure the amount of time they sat there staring at each other or what exactly had happened to snap them both out of it. Blair assumed it was the beep of her blackberry but she couldn't be certain. "Look I should go." She said standing quickly, her movements jerky and rushed.

_**So walk away, walk away  
Save yourself from the heartache  
Go now before it's too late**_

Jack nodded even though his eyes couldn't leave her form. The greatest battle he'd ever fought was this one and it was a battle with himself, with the demons he held inside. _You're bad for her, you'll destroy her, _he repeated. "Yeah, good luck tomorrow though."

Blair looked at him curiously for a moment as she backed away not quite registering his words before they hit her. She'd been too preoccupied with other thoughts, thoughts that were dangerous since he'd made it clear he didn't want her but that's not what it felt like right now. Right now it felt as though he didn't just want her, he needed her. "Oh, graduation, right."

_**So walk away, walk away  
Save yourself from the heartache  
Go now before it's too late  
But still she stays  
Still she stays**_

Jack swallowed tightly, forcing himself to stay seated. It was a fluke, that moment had been a fluke. He'd promised himself to stay away from her, promised himself not to get involved and he was a millisecond from uttering words that would bring his house of cards crumbling down. "Goodbye Blair." He spoke with a curt nod.

Blair looked at him, ignoring the tingling she had rushing through her body and nodded in return. "Goodbye Jack. I hope life treats you well." As she turned and walked out of his office, Blair cursed her last words, they were so idiotic but she hadn't known what else to say. Nothing had changed, he still didn't want her and she was with Chuck, she loved Chuck. That was where she was meant to be. She'd thought that talking to Jack today would bring her closure but there was a nagging feeling in her gut that said that nothing about that moment had felt like closure, nothing at all.

_**She stays**_

* * *

Just wanted to note that the two part epilogue is still happening and that I recognize that I have Chuck and Jack fans out there so I know no matter how I end the next chapter there's going to be disappointment (and quite possibly outrage ) but please remember the epilogues And honestly I hope that everyone leaves the ending feeling satisfied.

On that note, **please review** – the more I get the faster I'll post the next chapter!

xoxo - kate


	39. What We Can't Forget

**So this is it guys: the last chapter. Thanks for waiting patiently over the past two years as I figured this one out. Do remember that whoever you ship I have the Jack epilogue and the Chuck epilogue which will be posted at the same time sometime this week or next and clearly labeled. Feel free to read whichever one, none, or both if you feel so moved.**

ETA: The endings are two completely separate alternate endings. They start off with the exact same scene and differ from everything past that. In one Blair ends up with Jack, in the other she ends up with Chuck. 

Yes i know at the time of this chapter (2 years ago) Love and Other Drugs wasn't out yet but since it's set in 1997 I improvised. Also while I did add in Charles Place as I didn't have the location set for any of this really and thought it would be a nice tie in, I've had the majority of this chapter written for a very long time – aka a year. It's kind of what I've been working towards all along.

I also wanted to note that any similarity to anything that happens at any point of the show is coincidental in this chapter (other than the section near the beginning that I implanted from Season 3). I've had it written for almost a year.

**And PS: **Boom Boom Room = most amazing place EVER. Also it's the hardest door in NYC.

**To my reviewers:** QueenBee10, RF, Alisha Winchester Collins, SouthernBelle88, LeftWriter224, annablake, Lily94, LovelyLydia, LitPrincess2787, GGfanficfan09, Sweetheart21, CarolinaGirl21, **and **Vilhena. **I sincerely hope each and every one of you enjoy this conclusion and look forward to your reactions. Thanks for always being so fantastic guys :) **

**To my beta **ggfff-fan **this literally wouldn't have happened without you. I would still be editing chapter like 20. Thanks for all your help with everything!**

* * *

**Chapter 39  
What We Can't Forget**

Blair smiled as she led Chuck into the room darkened room. She'd told him Happy Birthday earlier that morning but other than that she'd been careful to avoid any mention of his birthday for fear of ruining the surprise; though she was fairly certain that the surprise was safe since no one ever did anything for his birthday. Reaching over she felt a thrill of anticipation shoot through her just as she turned on the lights.

"SURPRISE" The guests shouted. Serena had been good about getting everyone quiet and still considering the level of drunkenness that permeated the room regardless of the fact that it was barely eight o'clock.

Chuck's eyes widened as he looked around. It was mostly the same crowd from Nate's graduation party with a few exceptions here and there, Chuck had thought they were going to dinner at the Standard, not realizing that something was up until they stepped inside the Boom Boom Room and everything was dark. "You did this?" He asked Blair, more surprised than he could have imagined.

Blair nodded. "Serena helped and Lily was wonderful in getting us the Boom Boom Room for the night. I know it's not much but . . ."

Chuck looked deeply into Blair's eyes as the party began to heat up again around them. "Blair, no one's ever done anything for my birthday before."

Shrugging slightly, Blair's voice was almost too quiet to be heard over the noise. "I know, that's why I wanted to do something even if it's not anything original."

Chuck smiled at her brightly. "It's perfect. You're perfect." Giving her one quick kiss Chuck took her hand. "Shall we?" He asked gesturing towards the party.

"We shall." Blair replied with a smile and they set off to work the room.

Chuck couldn't get over that she'd done all this for him. Celebrations and his birthday were two things that simply were not put together, so even though he would have enjoyed a night with just Blair just as much or more, he couldn't deny the warmth he felt that she'd put all of this together for him.

The first couple hours of the actual party went by fairly quickly. Chuck and Blair had a few drinks, did the rounds, danced to a few songs, and ate the food that was catered. It was around ten when Blair caught Chuck staring off into space. "Everything okay?" She asked, squeezing his hand in hers.

Chuck nodded, shooting Blair a smile. "Yeah, everything's great."

Blair looked at him for a long hard minute, studying his expression. Standing, she extended her hand downwards. Chuck looked at her curiously but she simply shook her head. "Give me your hand."

Chuck complied, allowing Blair to tug him from his seat and lead him through the crowds. "Where are we going?" He asked almost laughing as she wove towards the elevators. Their pathway was blocked by the occasional well-wishing party goer and though Blair made polite small talk she didn't let anyone hold them up long.

They were standing in front of the elevator when Blair put her hands on either side of Chuck's face. "Sometimes I am a complete idiot."

"You're not." Chuck said quietly, wondering what exactly was up with Blair. The way she was looking at him was nothing short of unnerving. It was as though she'd realized she'd forgotten something that he'd been expecting her to remember but he had absolutely no idea what she was thinking.

Blair laughed lightly as they stepped into the elevator. "No it's true I am. While the party was a nice thought, it wasn't right."

Chuck met her eyes, realizing that she had surprised him for the second time that night by noticing something about himself even he hadn't acknowledged. "It doesn't mean we should leave Blair, we have all these guests. I was having fun." She looked at him pointedly and shook her head.

"I've already texted Serena to let her know we were heading out and she'll tell Nate. Other than that, I don't really care what the rest of them think." She said with a shrug "Besides there's somewhere I think you need to be."

Chuck didn't say anything, he just looked into her eyes and knew that she was right. It wasn't until his driver was pulling up at St. John's Cathedral that he spoke again. "Thank you, for just knowing."

Blair nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it before."

Stepping out of the car first she waited for Chuck because she didn't really know where she was going, while she was fairly certain he did. Taking his hand in hers, she allowed him to lead the way. They'd stopped on the way to pick up flowers along the street, which she handed to Chuck as they approached what she assumed was Chuck's mom's grave.

"I haven't been here in a long time." Chuck spoke quietly.

Blair looked up at him, her eyes soft and warm. "Why?"

Chuck almost shrugged but not quite. "I used to come every year on my birthday, every single year."

Blair gave him a half smirk. "For the longest time we always wandered where you went, why you weren't around. You know I didn't even know your birthday until we were thirteen and I saw it on some form we were filling out for some field trip."

Chuck smiled briefly at Blair, knowing that no one had known about his birthday because he didn't mention it and he'd never thrown a party because it never felt like something to celebrate. For a long time he didn't understand that birthday's were something anyone celebrated; he was aware that he'd had a strange childhood. "My father was never a very happy man on my birthday so you can understand why it was pushed under the table."

Blair nodded and stood by as he bent down to place the flowers on his mother's grave before tracing his fingers along her name. "I'm sorry it's been so long." He spoke quietly, talking to his mom just like he used to. "I let life get in the way over the past few years."

"I have this girl in my life." He said with a glance back at Blair who returned his smile. "And she's pretty spectacular. I know you'd approve. I've missed you mom." He finished quietly because even though he'd never had a verbal conversation with his mother, in so many ways it felt like he'd had. She'd been his confidant growing up, he'd told her everything.

Standing he looked back at Blair. "I used to come here and talk to her when I was upset. I stopped when Bart told me I needed to grow up and stop talking to dead people because they weren't going to talk back. That's why I quit coming to visit. I didn't want Bart to think I was weak."

Blair smiled sadly at Chuck as she felt a tingle down her spine as if there was something bigger than the two of them guiding her actions tonight. Reaching out once more for Chuck's hand Blair tugged lightly. "I think there's something else you need to see."

Chuck knew immediately where she was leading him but he didn't stop her even though there was a pounding in his heart and a twisting in his gut that pleaded otherwise.

Blair was almost surprised that she remembered where to go, since she'd only been there once but she knew it was in the newer part of the cemetery where the family plots were laid. She had wondered that day at the funeral why Evelyn hadn't been on the plot and had to assume Bart simply hadn't bought it at the time. Chuck had left the church immediately following the funeral and though Blair had tried to come with him then he hadn't let her so she and Nate had attended the graveside memorial instead. However it wasn't until recently on some offhand comment from Chuck that she realized he'd never come back here himself.

Stopping in front of Bart's grave, she faced Chuck, taking both of his hands in hers she didn't say anything for a minute, hoping that she wouldn't have to.

Chuck shifted uncomfortably, struggling now to meet Blair's eyes. He didn't want to be here, his mother's grave was one thing, but his father's? It hadn't been long enough; the pain was still too fresh. "What are we doing here Blair?"

Blair pursed her lips slightly, still holding tightly to Chuck's hands. "You got me through the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and as you did I realized that part of healing means that you have to accept your loss and I think that not visiting Bart's grave has been preventing you from doing that."

Chuck looked away, away from the grave, away from Blair's eyes, just away.

Reaching up with one hand, Blair turned Chuck's face to look at hers. "You have to really heal Chuck; you have to let yourself heal." She spoke as she kneeled, pulling him down with her.

Chuck couldn't quite believe the words about to come from his mouth as he sat next to Blair on the ground at his father's grave, still unable to quite meet her eyes though he couldn't escape them either. "My father always thought I was weak and in the moment that mattered most, I was."

Blair swallowed, her eyes watering as she continued looking at Chuck watching him carefully; but she didn't say anything yet, he wasn't done.

"I couldn't be there when he uh . . ." He paused not knowing how to say it, not knowing how to say that he'd been a coward. "I left, ran away." Exhaling his breath ragged, the simple act of breathing causing him pain. "All spring I pushed myself to prove him wrong and pushed you away." He finished knowing she'd understand that he was talking about what had happened with her and the company.

Blair shook her head slowly, tears catching in her throat as she looked at Chuck who was sitting with closed eyes. "I don't think that you ran away because you couldn't handle death. I think it's because you couldn't handle feelings, but you're not like that anymore, you're strong." Blair said, her voice evening with her certainty.

Chuck exhaled next to her, his chest clenching and unclenching as Blair spoke.

"You carry people. You carry me." Blair continued, sincerity echoing in her voice as she remembered the days Chuck simply held her while she cried and the way he helped to build her back up. It had been Chuck finally telling her his feelings about the baby that had made her heal. "You're becoming a man in a way that your father never was." She said sadly as Chuck's eyes opened to meet her own, if just from the periphery.

Taking his hand in hers, Blair laced their fingers together waiting to see what Chuck would say in response to her words, what he would do.

They'd been sitting there for a few minutes when Chuck finally allowed his eyes to meet hers directly. Leaning towards her he placed a kiss on her cheek and whispered. "Thank you."

Pulling away only slightly from Chuck's embrace Blair found his eyes once more. Blair spoke, her words no more than a whisper but they carried in the silent cemetery. "You need to make peace with your dad."

Chuck nodded, seeming to understand the truth of her words as well as the fact that it was something that she couldn't do for him; in fact it was something he needed to do alone.

Blair knew this, lightly kissing the side of Chuck's mouth, she spoke softly into his ear. "I'll wait for you at the limo."

Chuck felt Blair's hands slip through his but he still felt warmed by her touch. He waited until her footsteps had faded into the distance before he turned and looked at his father's grave for the first time. He barely noticed the tears that began to leak from his eyes as he exhaled and allowed himself to say goodbye.

Blair walked back through the cemetery quickly, being here brought so many memories, it took her back through all those days looking for Chuck, those days where she and Jack were almost friends and in that moment she couldn't handle it. She was too emotionally raw from what she'd just been through with Chuck and her own loss to start thinking about everything that had happened in the past six months. But she couldn't seem to stop.

She held back the tears until she was seated in the back of the limo, at which point she just had to let them go. Chuck had lost more in his eighteen years than anyone she knew yet he was still so strong and so solid and she was the one reduced to tears. So she sat there for the next half hour simply crying and trying and failing not to think about how much she felt. What she felt for the baby, for Chuck, even for Jack because that many feelings were just overwhelming.

When Blair heard the door opening, she tried to wipe at her tears finding that at this point it was useless. "Hey." She spoke, trying to hide the fact that she was crying from her voice as she looked towards the window.

"Blair?" Chuck asked, his own voice tight as he reached over to turn her head.

Blair turned to face him, making no further attempts to hide her tears as she realized that his tear stained face matched her own. "I'm sorry." She said tilting her head to the side.

Chuck shook his head, cupping her face with his hand. "Don't be."

Nodding only slightly, Blair leaned forward and placed the most gentle of kisses against his lips allowing the salt from each of their tears to mingle together, but that one gentle kiss held the invitation of so much more.

Chuck pulled away, a serious look on his face as he met her eyes. "You sure?" He spoke, knowing that this would be the first time since she lost the baby. He didn't want to rush her, he'd been so careful not to rush her. They'd done everything else, but not this.

In response Blair leaned in and kissed him hard, knowing that would give him her answer as it had what felt like a lifetime ago. But unlike that November night last year, they were completely different people now and this was completely different. Not that they weren't passionate, they were, but there was a gentleness to their movements and touches that neither of them had even known could exist back then.

Pulling back slightly, Chuck looked into her eyes, studying Blair with the occasional tear still sliding down her face. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I love you." He spoke, his words firm and certain as his heart beat slowed down from its state only moments before.

Blair nodded as she ran a hand up Chuck's chest and to his face. "I love you too." She said before bringing her mouth back to his. She didn't worry about where they were going, she'd already told Arthur before Chuck had returned where their next stop was and they had plenty of time together before they got there.

Blair reached out to him, pulling him down with her, where they slowly, agonizingly removed each other's clothing piece by piece; placing kisses on each patch of newly bared skin as they proceeded. Their actions were so many things at once; in some ways they were getting reacquainted, kissing along new scars or inhaling the slightly changed smell. In other ways it was as though they were memorizing each and every curve of one another as though they might forget. It was different from something either of them had experienced before; everything a rediscovery of something else.

Chuck fluttered kisses along her jaw conscious of the fact that they were both still crying as they joined together for the first time in so long. She grasped onto him tightly and once more felt their tears mingling. Tears that were almost inexplicable but considering everything they'd been through together and apart, there was a rightness to everything.

Blair was silent as he removed his mouth from hers and stared into her eyes. The tears had slowed to a halt on each of them as they continued moving with one another. When they came together, there were no tears, no screams, only quiet gasps and silence.

* * *

Blair was slowly finishing the clasp on her shoe as they pulled up to their stop. Arthur came over and let her out of the limo first as they'd discussed earlier but not without shooting her what could only be considered a knowing glance.

Chuck didn't miss the look Arthur shot Blair and normally he would have smirked at the older man or at least said a snarky comment but at that moment he couldn't seem to manage one. Chuck was a little shaky on his feet and noticed a slight trembling in his hands, one he couldn't identify, that matched the speed of the thoughts racing through his mind. Taking the hand that Blair was extending to him he found that his hand was stilled. "Where are we?" He asked, finding his voice choked and raw.

Blair looked at Chuck as she turned him to face the other side of the street, a sad smile finding its way onto her features. "Here." She spoke as though it were the most ordinary thing in the world.

Chuck's face betrayed his shock immediately, his racing thoughts stilling. "The Burlington lot?"

Blair nodded as she led him across the street by his hand. When she reached the doors she had to insert her key in the padlock there. Walking inside she lifted her hands and gestured around the room which was currently still in its run down condition. However, she had several setups, each with graphic posters of one design idea as well as furniture samples, and fabric swabs. "Charles Place." She spoke.

Chuck was in awe, his mind frozen as he walked through what they had discussed as the main lobby. Walking past the different set ups, the different color schemes and designs, he was completely speechless.

Blair approached him as he stood observing one of the designs. It had a certain Gatsby feel to it; 1920s exclusive, lavish, luxury. The sketching of the Lobby was exactly what she'd pictured from the architectural design to the fabrics. "This one's my favorite.

"Did you do all of this?" Chuck asked, turning his head slightly.

Blair shrugged almost innocently. "I might have been working on it for the past month or so."

Chuck's mouth was gaping as he faced Blair directly. "I was in a bidding war to buy this property. I wanted to start over, remake my legacy with you. I tried to find out who I was bidding against but it was a closed auction and even my PI's couldn't uncover it."

Blair laughed slightly, which turned into peals of laughter that had her covering her face. "Oh Chuck."

Chuck shook his head. "What's so funny?" He hadn't seen Blair laugh this hard maybe ever and he wasn't entirely certain he understood why she was laughing.

"You were bidding against yourself." Blair said gasping as she tried to stop laughing. "Bass Industries bought the property."

Furrowing his brow Chuck walked closer to Blair. "I don't own Bass Industries Blair, you know I don't hold any shares of the company."

Reaching into her purse, Blair withdrew the papers she'd had drawn up at the office the week before. "I bought this property. I told Lily to go after it no matter the cost because it was something I believed in. I've been throwing myself into it, making all these plans, before I realized that the thing I believed in was you."

As she finished speaking she handed Chuck the papers. He was looking down at them in shock so she clarified. "I signed over all of my shares in Bass Industries to you."

Chuck found his eyes watering as his heart felt flooded with warmth. "You don't have to do this." He spoke looking directly into Blair's eyes, his voice choked up.

Blair nodded as a smile rose to her features. Taking her hand she placed it along Chuck's face. "Yes I do, I always meant to and you're ready. It's time you took your place as CEO, at the helm of your father's company."

Chuck swallowed back tears, unable to break Blair's gaze. "Thank you." He paused for a second before continuing. "And I don't just mean thank you for this." He said gesturing to the papers and the room surrounding them. "Thank you for believing in me."

Blair smiled even as she felt her heart begin to break. "I'll always believe in you, no matter what. Nothing could change that."

Chuck felt it too. It was almost as though the oxygen was slowly seeping out of his lungs or perhaps a hand was clasped over his heart, gently squeezing a little more tightly every few seconds. "Earlier" He said tilting his head towards the road where the limo should still be sitting and Blair nodded slowly. "Earlier, felt like a goodbye."

Swallowing back tears, Blair pressed her lips together and inhaled slowly. "Do you ever think about the possibility that there's a reason that people meet the people that they do. I mean, you meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever. And maybe that one person was supposed to meet you because they were supposed to change you, to help you through something, to make you the person you're supposed to be."

"Have you been watching Love and Other Drugs again?" Chuck asked, trying to smirk as he recognized part of the ending quote in Blair's words rather than acknowledge what she was actually saying.

Blair hit him lightly on the arm. "I'm serious Chuck."

Chuck nodded his head as his eyes closed for a moment. "I know." Pausing he inhaled deeply. "It's Jack, isn't it?"

Blair's heart was breaking as her eyes began to water once more; it was unbelievable that she had any tears left. Only Chuck would know what she was saying without her ever having to say it. "Yeah." She spoke her voice failing her. "Yeah, it's Jack."

Chuck nodded as his chest tightened, his eyes were closed again. It was as though it hurt too much to look at her.

"I'm sorry Chuck." Blair said as her voice cracked, her throat burning. "I am so so sorry."

Chuck's eyes snapped open in time to reach out and catch a tear that was about to slip from Blair's eyes. Wiping his thumbs under her eyes Chuck met her gaze sternly. "No tears. Don't be sorry for wanting and needing what you want or need."

Blair looked up at the ceiling swallowing back her tears. Shaking her head she faced him again. "Why are you being so great about this? My heart is breaking." She spoke truthfully.

Chuck exhaled. "It's hard to explain." He paused trying to articulate exactly what he wanted to say. "I think a part of me knew that I didn't get to keep you. A part of me, however small knew that it was Jack."

Surprise flitted across Blair's face as her heart seemed to be crying on the inside. "I didn't." Blair spoke struggling to find her own words. "How did you know when I didn't?"

"In the hospital after your accident I saw something I never thought I'd see. Jack was a wreck, he was heartbroken, he blamed himself for your accident." Chuck spoke gently. "He didn't even accuse me of anything even though it was my fault. That was the day I realized he loved you."

Narrowing his eyes Chuck found himself wrestling with something inside of him as he spoke. "There was a moment when he slid down the wall that I just knew, I felt it. This is the part that's hard for me to say." He said before taking a deep breath and looking into Blair's waiting encouraging eyes. "It hit me that you are his entire world. I think he would give up everything and everyone else for you, he would live under a bridge homeless if he were living with you. If you told him to kill himself, if that was the one thing that would make you happy, I honestly think he would do it."

He could see something akin to surprise on Blair's features but even as he thought that he realized it wasn't quite surprise it was more a forced acceptance as though she'd known this herself but she hadn't wanted to say it.

"As much as I love you. As much as I need you. At that moment in the hospital I couldn't have said the same." Chuck said, a relief washing through him as he spoke the words he'd been struggling to say. "I really don't think he loves you more, I think he loves you differently. And there's something about that kind of love that promises that it's reciprocated. I don't think it can exist without a counterpart."

Blair didn't know what to say. She opened her mouth but it was almost as though she had forgotten how to speak as no sound came out. She shook her head in awe as she registered everything Chuck was saying. In some ways it was as though he were reading the words written on her heart, in other ways it was like he was speaking the things she herself could never know.

Coming to the conclusion that she couldn't respond to what Chuck had said, that there weren't actual words for a response she said something that surprised her. "You know my accident isn't all he blames himself for." Blair spoke watching as Chuck's brows furrowed in a silent question. "He thinks he is the one to blame for your father's death."

She watched the shock of her words surface on Chuck's face but she didn't stop. "Bart told Jack he was changing his will to leave the company to you and Jack was upset, he said things that he didn't mean - he was angry." She spoke imploringly. "Jack set out to destroy your father. You know he was close to Evelyn as a kid and she was close to Lily. He knew about Lily giving up her baby and told Andrew Tyler so that Tyler would tell your dad. That's why Bart was concerned about Jack, he knew he was up to something."

Understanding swept through Chuck as he connected the dots in what Blair was saying. "Jack was the reason my father knew about Lily's child." Blair nodded but Chuck continued as he had a realization of his own. "The accident was no more his fault than it was mine, Bart wasn't going to confront her at the party until I called, the voicemail said he was going to wait for her at home."

Blair sighed quietly looking at Chuck pointedly. "It wasn't anyone's fault, it was an accident, just like mine."

Chuck looked away before looking back. He had known for a long time that Blair had forgiven him for the car crash but he hadn't forgiven himself. Blair seemed to be indicating that this hadn't been lost on her. Nodding finally, he told her in a way that words never could that he understood her meaning. Exhaling, he spoke, his words almost a continuation of his earlier speech, surprising him in much the same way those had. "I never thought I'd say this but I think Jack puts you first in a way I never understood. I think that's what I was trying to say earlier."

Blair moved closer to Chuck resting her forehead against his. She breathed in shakily as he wrapped his arms around her and she slipped hers around his neck. "I don't know that that's true. You changed that the day you told the board what had really happened between us." Blair whispered as she held a shaking Chuck close. "You know me in a way that no one else does and what we had is untouchable. Part of me is always going to belong to you."

Chuck could feel his breathing slow as he shared oxygen with her, their lips only a few inches away. "I think you might have been right about what you said before. You came into my life to show me that it was okay to love, to help me break down the walls, to help me get over my father. You made me the kind of guy that might one day deserve a girl like you."

Pulling back slightly Blair gave up a little bit of closeness in order to have eye contact. "You deserve me." She spoke, intertwining her fingers together behind Chuck's head to help stop the trembling she felt there.

Chuck gave one slow shake of his head. "Not yet I don't. I'm not done growing yet. You've done your part, it's time for me to do mine." His voice was resolute.

Blair could feel her heart rate pick up as she realized that this was really happening, this was ending. "You changed me too you know." She spoke desperately clinging to these last few moments. "You are the first guy to ever like me just for being me. You made me feel beautiful and loved in a way no one ever had. You got me through the hardest thing I've ever faced, you brought me back from the edge. You made me realize that I was enough."

"God Blair, you were more than enough. You were everything." Chuck spoke even as he felt himself begin to take in his last moment with her.

Blair's eyes closed for a moment as she felt the prickle of tears once more. "I'm going to miss you, miss us."

Chuck nodded beginning to pull away slowly, disentangling his arms from around her waist. "Me too. Now go on before I break down and beg you not to."

Blair took one step backwards, her lips trembling. She looked at Chuck nodding, encouraging her to go and found herself flying back into his arms, wrapping herself tightly in him and pressing her lips against his melting into him as he held her feet barely touching the ground. In that kiss they drank each other in, feeling everything they'd ever felt together. It was passionate, it was excruciating, it was perfection, it was goodbye.

Pulling back Blair spoke as she shook her head. "I'm always going to love you, I'm always going to believe in you."

"I'll always love you too Waldorf, I think you know that." Chuck said placing one last kiss on her forehead. "Go tell him how you feel."

Nodding Blair backed away for as long as she could bear to see Chuck. She drank him in, so handsome as he stood there in his favorite grey suit, his hands in the front pockets of his pants as he gave her one last nod, a wistful half smile on his face. Closing her eyes tightly, Blair forced herself to turn and walk away.

She was shaking as she hailed a cab, her mind a mess of emotions. There was an almost overwhelming sadness flowing through her as she realized that in some ways she'd lost a part of herself by walking away from Chuck. Another part of her knew that as sad as she was in that moment, it was right for both of them; she and Chuck knew who they were together, who they'd helped each other become and it was time they moved on. Lastly there was an all-consuming anticipation filling her as she realized what she was going to do.

This was Jack's last night in New York, tomorrow he was leaving for Australia. She didn't have time to look for him and she knew he wouldn't answer her calls so to find him she had to simply know where he was going to be. She had to be right. Sliding into the cab she inhaled deeply making a split second decision about where to go.

After telling the cabbie the address, she sat back laying her head against the head rest as she wiped away the last few tears from her goodbye with Chuck. Her hands were still shaking and her body felt numb as the taxi began to speed towards Manhattan - towards the place her heart told her Jack would be.

* * *

Jack swirled the amber colored liquid in his glass watching as the lights over the bar reflected in the liquid. Taking a sip he relished the burn of the scotch as it slid down his throat. For a moment he allowed himself to glance to the end of the bar, to the seat Blair had been sitting when he had walked in on New Year's Eve on the night that had forever changed the course of his life, but if he were being truthful she'd done that a long time before New Year's.

Taking another swig of the liquid, he finished the glass. He was going to need to be drunk tonight, his last night in New York. Looking down at a fresh glass before him, Jack let his mind wander dangerously, telling himself it was the last time, last night, because after he left New York it was over for good.

He thought about the countless places they'd traveled together looking for Chuck, he thought about Prague where they'd had the argument, about New Year's Eve, of the day he found Chuck, of that night on the rooftop, of the months he spent torturing her, of the day she almost gave herself to him only to realize she might be pregnant, of the night when she took his pants off to try to steal the papers, of the board meeting when she took her place as CEO, the weeks they'd spent while he was teaching her the ropes, their time on the mountain, the night in the hospital; but even with all of the memories of Blair to choose from he kept going back to the day he met her. He'd come to the Van Der Woodsen's to help with things and she'd been there with Serena.

_"Who's she?" Jack asked Eric, his lip curing in pleasure trying to guess how long it'd take to have the brunette writhing beneath him. _

_Eric looked over where Jack had indicated seeing Serena sitting with an upset Blair; apparently Chuck had pulled a Bass move and disappeared last night. "Blair Waldorf."  
_

_Jack smirked as he rubbed his hands together, oh yes it was only a matter of time before he had her. "She's exquisite." _

_Eric shook his head. He'd met Jack a few times since his mother had married Bart and he knew that the man was a bigger player than Chuck had been. "Oh no, don't go there. She's Chuck's." _

"_Chuck's what?" Jack scoffed. "I don't see my nephew here to stop me." And with that he was moving, sauntering over to where Blair was sitting. Withdrawing his handkerchief he extended it to Blair. "Don't waste tears on that nephew of mine, he isn't worth it." _

_Blair looked up anger filling at her at how close to Chuck's note the man before her sounded. "And you are?" She asked, disdain filling her voice even as her tears stopped. _

_"Jack Bass, at your service." Jack spoke with a slight bow, allowing his easy charm to flow. _

_Blair smirked, an amused sound leaving her mouth as she leaned forward slightly as though she were going to tell him a secret. "Well Jack unless you can tell me where Chuck is, I'm afraid there's absolutely nothing you can do for me."_

_Jack was shocked. He was almost certain he'd never been turned down so quickly before, not to mention so certainly. Usually girls said no but really wanted it and all it took was a little more effort to sway them but he could tell from the look in the young brunette's eyes that she simply wasn't interested. Jack surprised himself with his next words as they were out of character. "Does that mean that you're going to be assisting me in my search for my nephew?"  
_

_Blair's eyes snapped to meet his looking for the truth in his eyes. Something in her didn't trust the man in front of her, he was so very Bass-like but another part of her wanted to trust him, wanted to believe in him. "If you're looking for Chuck you and I are going to be seeing a lot of each other." _

_Jack smirked, so maybe this wouldn't be that difficult after all. Certainly this was another one of those girls, the one's you slept with once that thought that you were going to marry them, Chuck wouldn't care and Jack would get a hot fuck out of everything. "No complaints here, I could use the company. I have a lead in Monaco, you coming?" _

_Narrowing her eyes only slightly Blair couldn't help but feel that she was standing on a precipice and with this decision she'd either step backwards and save herself or she'd tumble over the edge. In that moment Blair knew that her choice was important, perhaps one of the most important she'd ever make but she didn't know why. "When do we leave?" _

_He'd felt a spark at her words as though something had caught fire inside of him. He felt the want course through his veins as a desire he'd never felt before began to course through him. "Flight's at noon, I'll pick you up at ten pretty girl."_

Looking into the bottom of his glass he couldn't help but think that he should have known, he should have realized then that what he felt wasn't just intrigue. He should have known she'd be his destruction her allure was too powerful.

Blair walked through the door of the Palace bar quickly, her head turning as she searched. Her heart plummeted because she didn't see him. This had been her one and only guess at where he might be. Jack was leaving New York supposedly for good tomorrow and the one place she could think of was the Palace bar. Maybe it was narcissistic but she didn't care, she'd been so certain.

Just as she was about to turn and walk back into the hotel to check his room she saw a hand go up signaling the bartender at the very end of the bar. Her heart began to race as she walked forward, more certain with each step. Coming to a stop next to him she smiled, knowing he didn't see her. "Hey." She spoke quietly as she slid onto the bar stool next to him.

Jack closed his eyes tightly. He wasn't drunk yet so he must be hallucinating because he knew that Blair Waldorf wasn't sitting next to him. So that was it, he'd finally had a psychotic break over losing her and now he was going to see things that weren't really there. But then he felt her fingertips touch his shoulder as her small hand moved to turn his face to hers.

"I said hey." Blair spoke more firmly, turning Jack to face her.

Opening his eyes, Jack was shocked at what he saw. This wasn't a hallucination, he knew well enough that no hallucination could compare to the reality of Blair Waldorf. "What are you doing here?" He spoke, keeping his voice low and dark.

Blair kept her face neutral as she ran her thumb along the edge of his mouth. "It's your last night in New York, I'm here to see you."

Jack shook his head, frowning at her even though his entire body was begging him to just reach out and touch her. It must have been their conversation the other day, she'd felt the same thing he had and her curiosity had brought her here. "You shouldn't be here." Then as though to nail the coffin closed he practically spat his next words. "Go back to your boyfriend."

Blair allowed the smallest of smiles to slide to her lips as her eyes remained locked with Jack's. "He's not my boyfriend."

Jack's heart leapt right into his throat and all he wanted was to grab her and kiss her. His entire being was in shock. "Since when?" He asked, a strange look on his face.

Blair gave a small laugh. "Since about thirty minutes ago."

With a roll of his eyes Jack looked back to his glass of scotch, thankful that the bartender had finally just brought him the retainer. Taking a swig, he kept his face forward, not looking back at Blair. "Fine then, give it an hour or two and he'll be your boyfriend again."

Blair shook her head. She'd known this wasn't going to be easy, she'd known Jack would fight her, and she knew they she had a lot further to go before this began to get difficult. "Chuck and I aren't getting back together. He and I . . . We've changed. And we were wrong to try for so long to be people that we just aren't anymore."

Jack couldn't help the dark laughter that escaped him. "Sometimes I forget how young you are." It wasn't difficult, with her looks she could easily pass for a girl in her twenties, she oozed sophistication and elegance and her mind was sharp; but she was eighteen, barely out of high school. "Go home Blair."

Blair shook her head, realizing that the hard part was about to begin and she was just so emotionally open and bare after everything that she'd been through with Chuck that she couldn't help but feel ready for it. "No."

Jack felt his eyes roll again and wanted to laugh in her face but couldn't quite bring himself to. She was just a child, she didn't understand anything. "Blair, I'm serious. Leave."

"No." Blair responded obstinately.

Jack's fingers tightened around the glass in front of him as he shook his head. "Why not?" He asked deciding that the only way she'd leave was if he humored her. Sure he could leave himself but he didn't want to sit amongst the luggage in his room, doing nothing and he really didn't want to be away from Blair Waldorf.

"Because I don't want to." Blair replied, knowing that in some ways she sounded like a child. However she also knew that the tone of her voice wasn't whiney, it was strong.

"You don't know what you want." Jack snapped as he looked up, seeing their reflection in the mirror behind the bar. He was staring into his own eyes while she stared at him.

Blair felt her jaw lock as she prepared her defense. "Yes I do and I'm tired of you tell me otherwise. You always think you know what I need better than I do, on the mountain and then again in the hospital. But you're wrong, you don't know what I need at all, if you did you wouldn't push me away."

Jack finally turned his head to look at her again. "What are you trying to say Blair?" He asked slightly exasperated. This was hard enough for him as it was, why did she always have to make it harder?

"I'm saying I want to be with you." Blair spoke, her voice sure and strong. "I need you Jack."

Once more a peel of dark laughter escaped Jack. He didn't want to hurt her but it seemed to be the only way to make her let go. "Too bad. That's never happening again."

Blair gritted her teeth so tightly together that it almost hurt her jaw. But when her voice spoke it was full of control. "Stop it Jack. I know you check up on me so you can drop your attempt at the whole 'I don't care about you act' because I'm not going to fall for it again."

Jack simply shook his head. "You just don't get it. That's why I stay away Blair. I'm not good for you, not good enough. Not after everything I've done."

"I forgive you for what happened in the past." Blair spoke reaching to take his hand but he jerked it away before she could connect.

Jack was practically growling as he spoke his next words, his evident anger at himself boiling under the surface. "I manipulated you. I forced you into my bed. I ruined your life."

Blair shook her head feeling her voice raise in emotion to match his. "None of that matters."

"BECAUSE OF ME YOU ALMOST DIED!" Jack roared.

"BECAUSE OF YOU I DIDN'T!" She shouted back matching his volume before lowering her voice and speaking again. "If you hadn't changed your mind and come back for me I would have died. You're the reason I'm alive."

Jack shook his head not hearing it. She didn't get to absolve him of guilt, not for this. "You wouldn't have been in that accident if I had never been in your life."

Blair knew her voice was emotional as she began to plead with him. "What don't you understand Jack? I want you in my life. The good, the bad, all of it. I readily accept all of you." As she spoke she clasped her hands on his face.

Jack's hands flew to Blair's with the intention of removing them but he found he couldn't, not that he wasn't strong enough, he simply couldn't pull his hands away. "I can't." He spoke, his voice low as his heart screamed against every other part of his being. "It's my fault you lost our baby."

Blair exhaled, taking a step closer to Jack, not moving her hands even an inch. "I can have more kids Jack. And there you go again proving me right. You say you don't care, you chased me away telling me you were glad that the baby died but then you say things like that. Things like 'our baby.' I know you care Jack, you forget just how well I know you."

"Doesn't change anything." Jack said, realizing his hands were finally pulling hers away, releasing them rather harshly as though she'd burnt him, it felt like she had. The places where her hands had been felt as though she'd branded him and it had sizzled as he pushed her away.

A determined look rising to her features, Blair dramatically flung her arms to the side. "God why are you being so stubborn? Why can't you just be with me?"

"I won't endanger you again. I'm leaving tomorrow for Australia and I'm never coming back. I'm not going to be the one responsible for making you unhappy; not anymore." Jack said his nostrils flaring slightly as his body began to tremble. All he wanted was to reach out and pull her to him in an earth shattering kiss; he wanted to kiss her and never let her go and every moment in her presence it was harder not to.

Blair could see the war in his eyes but she wasn't leaving it up to him anymore as she took two quick steps forward from where she'd stepped back after he'd forcibly removed her hands. Throwing her hands behind his head before he knew what was happening she smashed her lips tightly to his.

Jack felt a rush of endorphins flood his system as Blair forced her lips onto his and it was like she'd breathed oxygen into a man starved for air. His whole body was coming alive like a flame as he hungrily drank her in. His lips met hers again and again as he tightened his hold.

Blair tore into him clutching him to her as though he was the only thing keeping her alive and she knew he felt the same, she could tell from the way he was intertwining his tongue with hers, from his hands path along her body. She felt his legs slide apart as one of his hands firmly pulled her into him until there wasn't a part of her body that wasn't touching his.

Blair was water to a man dying of thirst, oxygen to the flames in his heart, she was everything and he'd never be able to let her go, never again. Pulling back only slightly for fear of suffocating her he shook his head ever so slightly. "Oh pretty girl." His voice was a low rumble.

Blair felt her heart soar as he spoke his nickname for her, she knew she'd won, knew he'd given in. "I love you." She spoke her voice a mere gasp.

Jack swallowed tightly. "I love you, even if it destroys us both." His entire body was still on fire as they continued touching each other seemingly everywhere.

Leaning back in Blair placed another kiss on his lips, this one slow and gentle, controlled in every aspect, drawing back she looked directly into his eyes. "Who's to say it's not me who's going to destroy you?"

Jack felt the smirk appearing on his face as his heart filled with his love for her; it was almost painful but he couldn't deny that every part of it felt so right. "What about Chuck?" He asked needing to know for sure that this was real.

Blair nodded her head gently. "I told you, Chuck and I are over. He knew before I told him, he knew it was you. Because it's only you, it's only been you for a long time."

For a moment Jack didn't have words. He couldn't believe the woman standing before him. She was his everything and he'd been sure he was doing the right thing in giving her up but then she'd come back. And now he stood there in wonder like he'd been given everything he'd ever wanted, no strings attached.

"So what time is our plane leaving tomorrow?" She asked, a smirk rising to her features as she recalled a time when she used to ask him that every few days, the time when they were looking for Chuck.

Jack furrowed his brow confused as his hands came to rest on her hips. He could see the hint of a memory in her eyes but even then he didn't understand quite where she was going with it tonight. "What are you talking about Blair?"

Blair lifted one shoulder as she batted her eyes at him. "Well if you're set on moving to Australia then I need to call my travel agent and get a ticket. I'm not really packed so I guess I'll just send for my stuff."

Jack shook his head laughter rumbling deep in his chest. "I'm not moving back to Australia."

Blair smiled brightly. "Good because that was going to be a long commute to Yale."

Jack's eyes flickered brightly as he absorbed what she was saying. "You're going to Yale?" He asked, feeling a rush of pride.

Blair's smile turned into a smirk as she leaned a little closer. "Yeah this guy I'm in love with told me I'd be crazy to give it up."

Jack felt the smile more than he was cognizant that he was producing it. "I've never loved someone like I love you, never."

Blair nodded because she did understand what he was saying and only knew one way to answer him. Leaning forward, she brought her lips close to his but still far enough away that she could look into Jack's eyes. Her heart was racing a million miles a minute as she felt happiness wash through her, knowing that her next words were the truth. "Remember in the cabin when you told me to go home?" She asked.

Jack nodded, his eyes still wide with wonder and full of love.

Blair leaned just a little bit closer as her voice whispered softly. "I am."

* * *

**I Swear I wrote it before the season finale. Like no joke, years ago. My jaw dropped open when I watched it play out on tv just about like I'd written it. Some of the dialogue from the last scene in season four is eerily similar. Legit though this has always been the plan, the script for the last chapter was barely edited at all from how I planned it after my computer crashed last summer. The biggest difference for me was that I saw this as more Blair's decision and the tv show as more Chuck's decision. But still totally weird.**

**Anyways thanks for reading through to the end, I hope you enjoyed it. For those Chuck fans out there be excited because I'm beyond pleased with the epilogue I wrote for you guys. Not that I don't like the Jack one, I do I've just formed an emotional bond with the Chuck one lol. So be sure to read whichever one of those interests you. **

**Thanks again guys!**

**Please Review. It's the last chapter and I'd really appreciate it!**

**xoxo - kate **


	40. Chuck: For Me, It's You

**WARNING THIS IS THE CHUCK/BLAIR EPILOGUE IF THIS IS NOT THE COUPLE YOU SHIP DO NOT READ** otherwise please read and enjoy So I know you guys didn't get the original ending that you were looking for but I hope this makes up for it because I honestly I adore this epilogue so much.

If you are reading this then it means that you stuck it out through all I put CB through in this fanfic and this epilogue is your reward. I hope you love it as much as I do.

To all my reviewers **tiff xoxo, Michelle, Nicole Lovely, Maribells, Sw33tHeart21, Alisha Winchester Collins, annablake, CarolinGirl21, Omg, Delilah, BellaB2010, LeftWriter224, LitPrincess2787, LovelyLydia, GGfanficfan09, and SouthernBelle88.** I really appreciate you and can't wait to hear what you think about this conclusion!

Thanks as always to my beta, ggff-fan who had to ruin the experience for herself by reading both epilogues for me instead of picking the one she wanted.

* * *

**Epilogue: Chuck  
****For Me, It's You**

Jack looked over at Blair with a smile on his face. Her feet were propped up on the dashboard as she finished putting a fresh coat of nail polish on them. Had anyone else done so in the Porsche he probably would have had a panic attack; but this was Blair. They'd been driving for a few hours, talking some but mostly blasting the radio and acting like teenagers as they sang along and goofed off.

"Ta-da." Blair exclaimed as she screwed the top back on her nail polish. She'd had a final the very last period of exams and hadn't had time to properly administer a pedicure before Jack arrived. "You know you haven't even asked me how my finals went yet." She said pointedly.

Jack just laughed, leaning his head back against the seat rest. "How were they?"

Blair shrugged as she blew air on her toenails; when she spoke her voice was nonchalant. "They were fine. I'm pretty sure I nailed all of them."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Which is why I didn't ask. I knew you would have already said something if they'd gone anything less than perfect."

Blair laughed out loud, leaning back in her seat and turning her head to look at Jack. "I've missed you." She was almost surprised that the words had slipped out. She hadn't wanted him to think that she couldn't handle the current arrangement - she could, but it didn't stop her from missing him when he was gone.

"I've only been gone for three weeks." Jack said with a small smile. But when he saw a frown grace her features for only a moment he reached over and took her hand. "Hey, I missed you too pretty girl."

They had an unusual setup right now. She was living in the dorms but he'd purchased a townhouse just off campus; in the weeks he was in New Haven, things were almost excruciatingly perfect but he'd gotten a job in LA with a big Hollywood company and consequently spent a lot of time flying back and forth. It wasn't that he minded the travel, only the time he had to spend away from Blair.

Blair nodded, feeling the shift of the mood in the car. "I know."

Jack squeezed her hand slightly before acknowledging the cause of the new tension. "You haven't been back to the city since May?"

Blair pursed her lips, they'd spent most of the summer traveling to various places, Australia to get the rest of Jack's stuff moved, Greece with Serena, and France to see her father before finishing up in LA where Jack was starting a new job. She'd come to see him in LA for Fall Break and they'd gone back to France for Thanksgiving; but now it was Christmas and she was heading back to the city for the first time. "I know." She spoke, her voice quiet.

Inhaling deeply Jack decided to go ahead and throw out the other possible cause of tension, having to do with something he'd asked her before he left for his last trip to LA. "You still haven't answered my question?"

At that Blair smiled, lacing her fingers with his she rubbed her thumb along his. "I know that too."

Before leaving for his last trip, Jack had asked her to marry him. He'd known it was a big question and known she'd need some time which is why he'd planned it when he did, thinking that three weeks would be enough. But they'd been driving for over two hours and she hadn't mentioned it yet. Yet he still understood. Loving her like he did, he still knew that they were at very different stages in their life. He'd just had his 31st birthday but she'd just had her 19th. In all the ways that age didn't matter, this was the one time where it seemed to play a factor; but he'd wait as long as she needed him to wait.

Laughing one more time, Jack brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss there. "I'm glad to see you too Waldorf."

Blair simply smiled. She knew Jack would wait for her; he would wait for as long as she needed him to wait. The ball was in her court, now she just had to decide what exactly to do with it.

* * *

Jack pulled the car to a stop in front of her building. One of his drivers was waiting on the curb to take it to the parking deck where it would stay while they were in the city, during which time he'd be using a hired car. He rushed around the car to open her door, extending her his hand as he brought her to her feet. "Welcome back to Manhattan Princess."

Blair exited the car but kept her hold of Jack's hand. Inhaling deeply, absorbing the sights and sounds of her city. Turning back to Jack she smiled. "Thank you."

Jack smirked. "That you've missed this place is obvious."

Blair nodded. Manhattan was her city, it always had been. There was something about it that had an uncanny ability to bring you to life. To others she'd passed off her reasons for not returning as having those other plans but she hadn't hidden the truth from Jack, he knew that she hadn't returned because she was a little bit scared. "I guess eventually we all have to weigh our desires over our fears and choose which is more important."

Smiling, Jack placed a kiss on her forehead. He knew they needed to get inside soon. Her mother's anniversary dinner was tonight and since she'd followed all the superstitions with Harold and that hadn't worked out, this time she'd decided to throw out the rule book and throw a grand party. "Are you ready to go in?" He asked, somewhat cautiously as was well aware that basically every one Blair had ever known was likely to be assembled inside, not to mention the general act of being around her mother stressed Blair out more than she cared to admit.

Blair bit her bottom lip for a moment before speaking, trying to identify the best way to phrase what she was about to say. Physically she was ready as she'd changed into her formal dress in the car but mentally there was something else on her mind. "There's actually somewhere I need to go first."

"Chuck's?" Jack asked knowingly. He'd halfway anticipated she'd ask him to drop her off at the Palace. When it came to facing her fears, it was something Blair did head on which meant she'd need to see Chuck sooner rather than later.

Blair nodded, not bothering to wonder how Jack knew, he always knew.

Jack smiled. "Go on. I'll make your excuses to your mother as to why you're late."

"Thank you." Blair said, knowing he'd know that she wasn't just thanking him for making excuses for her, or for letting her go, but for understanding why she needed to go.

Jack brushed a lock of hair out of her face before handing her a business card. "This is the driver I've hired while we're home, just give him a call and he'll drive you." He spoke his heart pounding. He was nervous but he knew as he'd always known that this would come; Blair had to see Chuck before she'd be able to make a decision about his question.

Blair nodded before rising to her toes and placing a soft kiss on Jack's lips. As she pulled away she whispered. "I'll be back before you know it."

Nodding, Jack turned and walked into her building. He knew this was something she needed to do because regardless of how the conversation with Chuck went it had to happen and delaying the inevitable wouldn't do either of them any good. So instead he did what he'd always sworn he would do and let her go to make her own decisions.

* * *

Chuck was surprised when he heard knocking on his door. He was fairly certain that everyone he knew was going to the Waldorf's tonight for the big anniversary celebration and he hadn't called up for room service. The staff knew better to disturb him and no one else would dare knock on his door without even calling first. Those who would were at the Waldorf's, which brought him right back to his original thought.

For a moment he considered the possibility of not answering but the knocking came again and honestly if they were here it was likely they had a damn good reason. So with no further thought he walked to the door and flung it open, the air flying from his lungs the moment he saw who was on the other side.

"Blair." Chuck exhaled as he opened the door, seeing Blair Waldorf dressed in a long black evening gown that trailed the ground. Sure he knew she was back in town but he had been fully planning not to see her while she was here. He didn't want things to be harder than they had to be and this, seeing her, would only make everything complicated. "What are you doing here?" Chuck asked, his brow furrowed slightly.

A part of her wanted to turn and run before he opened the door but she hadn't and now it was too late. This was that moment that she'd been scared of for months on end, the moment that could define who she was. Either she'd know that she'd done the right thing because things really had been over between them or a few words with Chuck and she'd know that it had all been wrong. In that moment all of the uncertainty she'd felt in the last three weeks seemed to snowball and suddenly she had no idea what she wanted; she was terrified. Blair bit her lip slightly. "Can I come in? I want to talk."

Chuck backed up, allowing her entrance with a wave of his hand; he couldn't deny her anymore now than he could six months ago because no passage of time would ever change the fact that she was Blair Waldorf and he was Chuck Bass and they were connected. "Be my guest." He spoke, pushing his weakness at her surprise immediately from him.

Blair didn't say anything for a moment; she couldn't seem to form any words. She'd convinced herself that she could do this, that she could come here and everything would be fine but right now she was completely on edge. And seeing Chuck was like a shock to her system; so much history, so many feelings there.

"Don't be so anxious Blair, it's just me." Chuck smirked as she walked past him. He could see that her fingers were trembling and she didn't have to say the words that he knew she was thinking. _That's what I'm afraid of. _He couldn't exactly blame her, his own heart was racing and he felt remarkably like he'd gone numb from head to toe; that's the effect Blair Waldorf had on him and he doubted that that would ever change.

"Sit down." He spoke gesturing towards the sitting area as he walked behind the bar. "Would you like a drink?" He asked as she took a seat. As she did his eyes didn't leave hers; they couldn't. She was still that same perfect picture of perfection, a sight for sore eyes if he'd ever seen one.

Blair nodded ever so slightly. "You know what I like."

Again Chuck smirked. "I do." Mixing her drink quickly he walked over and sat next to her, his own tumbler of scotch in one hand with her drink in the other. "Amaretto sour." He spoke, handing her the drink before taking a seat in the chair adjacent to where she was sitting. "Now what can I do for you?"

Blair inhaled deeply, there were so many things she wanted – no, things she needed to say and though one was her initial reason for coming, the other was so much more prevalent in her mind now. "You're not going to the party?"

Chuck shook his head, his face a mask of sorts as he took a sip of his scotch. He thought for a moment about lying to Blair but she'd know, she always knew. "I'm not feeling up to being around so many people just yet." Then he smiled, ever so briefly. "Which you already knew since you came here to find me."

Blair nodded. "It's my first stop." She wanted him to know that he was still important to her, even after everything. "How are you?" She finally asked, eyes full of compassion.

Chuck exhaled, his breathing a little rough. "Better than I'd thought I'd be. Wednesday was . . . Wednesday was hard. I didn't really want to see anybody or talk to anyone."

"I'm sorry, I wanted to be home in time but I had a final yesterday and today." Blair said, still feeling guilty. She had almost found a way to make it work by moving around her exams but in the end it had been impossible. And a big part of her felt like she'd let Chuck down in some way by not being here.

"You called, that was enough." Chuck spoke thinking back to Blair's call two days before. He hadn't expected it, hadn't even realized until he saw her number on his caller id that she was the one person he wanted to talk to. On Wednesday that call had been like a lifeline; they hadn't even talked that much, Blair had rambled about her exams and how hellish they were to take his mind off things and he'd confessed how bad the day had been.

Blair smiled slightly. "I'm always going to call." She knew he understood that she didn't just mean that she'd call on the anniversary of his father's death, simply that when he needed her she'd be there.

"I know." Chuck spoke, his voice smooth for the circumstances. The earlier anxiety had dissipated and now sitting here with Blair was almost like having a conversation with a part of himself that he thought was gone, but there was something strange about the conversation, something off.

Blair tilted her head to the side as though she were trying to get a better look at him and in some ways she was. She needed to see if he was putting up some kind of front for her. "Do you want to go to the cemetery?" She asked, her voice soft.

Chuck shook his head, letting a smile slip past his features, a real smile. "I already went." Blair's eyes went wide and he nodded. "I went this morning, even took flowers."

Blair felt her hand come up to her mouth before she realized it as she shook her head in awe. "I'm proud of you, Chuck"

Chuck almost blushed, almost. "And you are my toughest critic." He'd let her avoid whatever it was she was struggling to say for a few minutes, he'd allow her to draw the conversation to something else but he wouldn't allow her to get away with it completely.

"And don't you forget it." Blair spoke her tone serious but her face laughing. Her eyes met Chuck's and she felt something so completely real there that she almost went for it. Instead she asked, "How's Bass Industries?" Trying to find any topic to avoid saying what she needed to say, what she didn't know how to say.

Chuck shrugged. "Oh you know, the same really." His eyes were observing her carefully, trying to figure out just what she didn't want to tell him, trying to read her the way he once could. "Profits are constantly increasing, the market's looking better."

Blair nodded. "That's good." She said with a smile as her fingers began to twist her ruby ring in a circle.

"What's wrong?" He finally asked, his eyes slanting skeptically. He could see it in every movement, sense it in every word - Blair wasn't acting like herself. For a moment he was scared, she wasn't sick was she? She was so young, too young to be sick.

Blair shrugged awkwardly. She didn't know how to say the words she wanted to say. "Nothing, I was just worried about you, that's all." She said, fidgeting as she tried to control her words and thoughts. She'd never once been uncomfortable in Chuck's presence until now.

Chuck shook his head. "I know you care about me and worry about me because of the anniversary but I know that's not why you're here." Chuck spoke steadily as he moved his eyes around, trying to force her to meet his gaze. "You called me on Wednesday so you know I'm doing okay and don't say that you had to see for yourself because we both know that's not it at all." He said, heading off what he knew would be her next comment.

Blair looked away surprised with how well he still read her. To him she was practically an open book. "That's it, really." She spoke aware that her fingers were trembling. She cursed internally because she knew that she sounded weak.

Chuck shook his head again. "You're avoiding saying something, something you're scared to say, scared to admit." He said, voice rising as he became more certain of his words.

Blair pursed her lips, looked down at her hands before looking up into Chuck's eyes, eyes that were practically flaming. "Jack asked me to marry him."

Chuck swallowed tightly, he shouldn't have been surprised. He should have known that this was coming but he couldn't have prepared himself for this; could never be ready for this. Even if he'd moved on like he continued to promise himself that he would do he wouldn't have dealt with this news well.

Blair felt her heart pound as her hands began to shake. "I haven't answered yet. I don't know why. I love him, I do and he's so good to me. But I've made him wait three weeks for an answer. I have to give him an answer." She didn't realize that her voice had a pleading quality to it until she saw the darkness in Chuck's eyes.

"Why are you telling me this Blair?" He asked, aware that his heart was clenching painfully in his chest. Aware that it felt like his world was collapsing. He'd let her go six months ago, told her to go to Jack because at that moment he didn't deserve her; but his heart had never allowed itself to think that she wouldn't eventually come back. He'd left it with the proverbial dot dot dot and he didn't want to place a period, not now not ever.

Blair lifted her shoulders. "I don't know, because I need to." She sighed, her voice shaking. This was why she'd been scared to come home but it was also the real reason she was here. She'd come knowing one thing and that was she couldn't answer Jack's question without seeing Chuck first. "Because we're Blair and Chuck, Chuck and Blair. I need you to talk to me."

Chuck practically scoffed as he looked straight into her brown eyes. "What do you want me to say Blair? It's been six months." When she didn't answer, Chuck felt his grip tighten on his glass. "Do you want me to tell you not to marry him?" He asked as he took in her shaking hands, tightly gripping the side of her dress to steady themselves. Chuck stood, taking a few steps until his back was facing her, he couldn't look at her sitting there, it was killing him.

Blair's eyes drilled holes into his back as she stood and walked a few steps towards him, her throat stinging with the tears she was holding back as she spoke the only truth she seemed to know right now. "I don't know what I want you to tell me. I don't know what I want you to say. I just know that I couldn't answer without talking to you." Inhaling deeply she let her heart speak, she let it say words she hadn't planned to say. "I couldn't give him an answer to his question because you never answered mine."

Chuck's head snapped to look at her, unsurprised at her close proximity. "What question?" He asked, surprised at the sound of his own voice, it was raw and scratchy.

"Two years ago we stood outside the White Party and I asked you a question." Blair said, nodding her head slightly as Chuck turned to face her completely. "And you never answered me. There's a part of me that's still stuck in that moment, waiting on that answer." Pausing she looked directly into his eyes; she stood before him a girl, a simple girl, waiting on the boy she used to know as well as herself to affirm the feeling that had been building in her over the course of the past three weeks since Jack had asked her his own question. "Why shouldn't I marry him? And I'm Chuck Bass doesn't count."

Chuck's voice was low and quick as he spoke. "Because I don't' want you to."

"Not enough." Blair spoke, her voice shaking slightly as she remembered the first time they stood there with everything at stake. She didn't know what she wanted him to say but apparently her heart did and that was what was in control now.

"Because you don't want to." Chuck spoke, uncertainty filling him as he looked at her. This wasn't what he'd been expecting today, but he felt a desperation coursing through him, one he was all too familiar with when it came to Blair. He couldn't lose her, not again.

Blair shook her head. "You don't know that."

Chuck's heart pounding in his ears as blood pumped through his body at what felt like twice the normal speed. He hardly knew what he was saying, what he was doing. All he knew was that Blair Waldorf was standing before him and if he didn't get this right he really would lose her forever. "Yes I do." He spoke his words certain as he took a step towards her. "If you wanted to marry him you wouldn't be standing here in my suite that you haven't been in since you ended things to be with him, telling me that Jack proposed."

"It's still not enough. You know what is," Blair said struggling to swallow back her tears. Her heart was ruling over her head completely, she could do nothing but comply."3 words, 8 letters, say them and I'm yours."

Chuck shook his head, he didn't understand. Normally Blair was crystal clear to him but this was puzzling beyond anything he'd ever known her to say because if there was one thing Blair knew it was that he loved her. "I've said them before. You know how I feel, how I'll always feel. I wanted to move on after you left but I couldn't, I found myself doing everything I could to turn myself into the man that deserved you, you can't marry Jack."

Blair could feel her heart beating a mile a minute as she nodded her head; it was screaming at her that he loved her, that he'd waited for her even when she'd left him. "I know that you can say the words; but this time when you say them you'll know what you're promising me." She spoke her voice steady, eyes never leaving his. "You'll be promising me that we can make this work, that what we share is more than what I have with Jack, you'll be telling me not to marry him . . ."

"I love you." Chuck interrupted her reaching out a hand behind her head and smashing her lips into his.

* * *

Blair walked into the party first, knowing Chuck would wait for a few moments in the foyer before continuing into the living room where Jack would be waiting for her. She was going over and over in her head the exact words that she was going to say but the moment her eyes connected with Jack's they fled her mind.

Jack felt his heart give one tight clench as his eyes met Blair's, knowledge of what the look in her eyes meant washed through him because her eyes told him everything. As she approached him he spoke quietly, unsure that he had the capability to speak louder. "You've made your decision."

Blair nodded, her heart breaking as she looked into Jack's eyes. He'd done everything for her. He'd rebuilt her when there was nothing left and leaving him now was going to feel like losing a part of herself but she knew she had to do it. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Did you consider the possibility of marrying me?" Jack asked slowly unable to help himself from asking, as his eyes searched hers.

Blair nodded a sad smile coming to her lips. "I did. And I thought I was going to say yes, I didn't know what was holding me back but I think it's always been Chuck, I never quite gave up on the part of me that will always be his."

Jack nodded slightly. Brushing her hair out of her face Jack sighed. "I know."

Blair bit her lip as she placed one careful hand on the side of Jack's face. "You want the girl you marry to do more than consider it."

Jack exhaled slowly, breathing Blair in one last time before taking a step back. As he did he spotted Chuck entering the room and took a step towards his nephew.

Chuck met Jack halfway. He could tell Jack wanted to talk to him and from the look on Blair's face the damage had already been done. "Jack." He spoke with a nod as he reached him, Blair coming to a stop a few steps behind Jack.

Jack nodded in return. "Chuck." Looking carefully at Chuck, Jack remembered everything he'd learned over the past few months. He'd kept tabs on Chuck through Lily, finding that the young man before him had continued to grow up though if he had to guess the pivot point had been the day that Chuck had walked into the board room and told the truth. Even with that knowledge Jack's next words almost surprised him because he never thought he'd let her go. "Take care of our girl."

"I will." Chuck spoke, slightly surprised that that was what Jack had wanted to tell him.

Nodding again, Jack turned to where Blair was standing. "It's time I leave."

Blair shook her head. "You don't have to do that."

Jack nodded. "I think I should, it's time. I think it's time I made the move to LA permanent."

Blair swallowed uncertainly. "I really am sorry Jack."

"Don't be." Jack spoke placing a quick kiss on the side of her mouth and giving Chuck a nod of acknowledgement before forcing himself to walk away. If he was honest with himself he'd known that things were over when she hadn't given him an answer earlier that morning; they weren't at the same place in their lives. But as he exited he felt the smallest smile tug on his lips. He knew that while it was over with Blair, what they'd had was something special, something he'd never forget. And she was right, he didn't want to marry the woman who considered it, he wanted the woman who just knew and something about being with Blair had shown him that it was something he could have.

After Jack had left the party and Blair had said her proper greetings where necessary, Chuck called Arthur and told him to pick them up in the limo. Chuck walked over and took Blair's hand in his. Tugging it lightly he drew her towards the elevator. "Come with me, I have something to show you."

Blair looked at him curiously but didn't comment, not as they stepped into the elevator, and not as they slid into the limo. Apparently Arthur knew where they were going because Chuck didn't say a word, he simply sat there holding her hand. After a few minutes Blair scooted across the backseat of the limo, thinking about the night she lost her virginity here and the last night she slept with Chuck, but for now she simply fit her body against his and laid her head on his shoulder. "This doesn't feel real." She spoke softly, knowing that Chuck could hear her.

Chuck smiled to himself because he could sympathize completely. He'd spent the past eight months focusing on becoming that man that he'd sworn he would become; that man who would deserve her and just being with her felt like every dream he ever had was coming true. "I know the feeling."

Blair looked at Chuck and smiled, inhaling deeply the scent that seemed to fill her with everything that she didn't know she'd missed until she had it back.

Chuck placed a soft kiss on her lips, before looking into her open eyes, wondering whether or not he should ask the question burning at the front of his mind or just be grateful that she was here; eventually his curiosity won out. "I have to ask, what made you change your mind?"

Blair sighed lightly, she'd been surprised when Chuck hadn't asked after they had kissed in his suite, or on the way to the party, or after Jack left, so the question was one she'd been prepared to answer. "I wasn't sure that I had at first." She spoke softly, turning on the seat to face Chuck.

"I knew I couldn't answer Jack's question until I talked to you but I didn't know why." She continued quietly, her voice showing how much she'd thought about all of this. "What I had with Jack was this wonderful special thing that I never thought I'd experience and it completely filled me with happiness. I was comfortable and loved, things were so easy. I still love Jack I really do, but the moment I saw you today I knew that there was a part of me that never gave up on you."

Chuck placed a hand on the side of her face, tracing his thumb along her jaw. "I never let myself give up on you either."

Pulling herself in closer, Blair smiled before speaking again. "A part of me walked out of that old warehouse in May thinking that you were right, you weren't the guy yet but you would be. And I feel awful because I didn't realize it then but in some ways I was using Jack. He made me happy so I let him but I think I was always going to come back to you otherwise there's just this Chuck shaped hole in my heart."

Blair found herself placing her hand on Chuck's chest where she could feel his heart beating loudly beneath her fingertips. Leaning forwards she kissed him softly, drawing his face into hers. "You complete me, it's you Chuck, it's always going to come back to you."

Chuck looked at her in mildly restrained awe. He'd thought maybe it was something like that but as strong as their connection was and always would be he was a little surprised that Blair had opened herself up so completely. Pulling her closer until she was practically sitting in his lap, he spoke honestly. "I told myself that if you ever came back to me it would be the age thing."

"It wasn't so much age as time." Blair said as her mind worked over the thoughts pouring through her head. "Jack and I both wanted that baby then but now I'm not ready. My life was at a crossroads then where I could chose and in one of those paths the baby just fit; but I'm not there now. I chose Yale, I chose my dream, and in that marriage and babies are still a few years down the road, but Jack, he's still there in that crossroads. And he deserves someone who's ready, someone who isn't always going to find herself missing another guy. I couldn't marry Jack, not while I'm still so in love with you."

Chuck didn't say anything more until they reached their destination, there was nothing more for either of them to say because their eyes said it all. Climbing out of the car he assisted Blair onto the sidewalk.

With only a quick glance Blair knew exactly where they were. Looking at Chuck she smiled brightly. "It's Charles Place." She looked at the building from where she stood across the street. "It's so different."

Chuck nodded, taking her hand as she had once taken his and leading her towards the entrance. "Just wait until you see the inside."

Chuck held the door open and gestured her in so Blair did as asked and followed. When he turned on the lights she nearly fell over in shock. Her eyes couldn't seem to grasp everything before her. The room was as she always pictured it would be, maybe more. It was the picture of lavish decadence from the marble floor to the cherry wood and the upholstered furniture, topped off with the giant crystal chandelier. "It's perfection."

Chuck came to rest next to her and smiled. "I did my best to realize your vision."

"My vision?" Blair said turning her head towards, him in surprise.

Chuck simple smiled. "Yes, you see I found that after I couldn't move on and couldn't have you, the one thing I really had left was this building and the knowledge that you believed in me. I wanted this building to show what I'd become, wanted it to show that I was worthy. I didn't even realize what I was doing until it was almost done."

Blair took a few steps towards him and clasped his face in her hands. "Chuck, it's incredible."

Leaning forwards Chuck captured her lips in his quickly. "You are incredible." She spoke as he broke for air.

Sighing against his mouth, Blair found herself losing herself in Chuck, being filled with that familiar feeling that felt like everything just fit. Holding him tightly to her she spoke quietly. "You were wrong about something though. You didn't have to prove you were 'worthy' of me. I was the one who was an idiot."

Chuck looked like he was about to interrupt her so Blair shook her head. "Maybe we weren't ready to be together but I didn't understand then that as much as I loved Jack it wasn't like I loved you. And though I don't feel like I was wrong then, I think I was supposed to be with Jack for a while but it was always going to be you. To say you weren't 'worthy' of my love is ludicrous."

Chuck shook his head. "I wasn't. What I did to you, the stuff with the company being the least of it; God Blair I . . ."

Blair raised a hand and placed it on his lips. "Shhh . . . it's okay."

Chuck shook his head again gently removing her hand. "It's not and it never will be. I hit you Blair and whether or not you think it's a big deal, I do." He could see the look in her eyes of almost surprise and knew that he finally seemed to be reaching her on this. "I need you to know that I will never do that again, that a part of me is always going to hate myself for that. I love you more than anything, more than life. And the things I did that spring kill me inside sometimes. I know I only did those things because i was scared of losing you but there isn't an excuse for it."

After a quiet moment Blair nodded. "Okay"

"Okay?" Chuck asked. Knowing that she understood that he was asking if she knew how ashamed he would always be of the things he'd done to her, hurting or not, high or not, it didn't matter because he'd hurt her.

Blair nodded again. "Once you told me that Jack would do anything for me, would die if I asked him to; was that what you were referring to? Did you mean that Jack wouldn't have done what you did?"

Chuck looked away before meeting her gaze once more. That she knew him so well was still almost unnerving. "Yeah, it's what I meant."

Blair almost laughed. "We all make mistakes Chuck. I made them, Jack certainly made his fair share, and you made them too. What matters is the future. I forgive you for everything in the past, I think it's made us who we are, it's made us stronger. I never gave up on us. Now the question is can you forgive me for choosing Jack?"

"There's nothing to forgive." Chuck spoke softly but with a pointed look from Blair he amended his statement. It was clear that though he'd just as soon say that there was nothing to forgive both of them knew that on some level there was and Blair needed to hear that he wasn't going to bury that inside and dwell on it. "Yes, Blair I forgive you."

Blair sighed contentedly but it was Chuck who spoke, his voice low as he took a step backwards. "I have a question of my own for you."

Blair narrowed her eyes in confusions only to widen them in shock as Chuck kneeled down on the ground. Her lips parted as one of her hands flew to her heart, Chuck taking her other hand in his.

Chuck traced his thumb lightly over her hand as he looked directly into her eyes. "I've missed you Blair, I've missed you like a flower misses the sun in the dead of winter. And I promised myself that if I ever got you back, I'd never let you go." Sliding one hand into his shirt pocket he withdrew the ring box, snapping it open to reveal a one of kind Harry Winston diamond. "Will you marry me?"

Blair's breath quickened as she looked from Chuck's eyes to the ring then back again. Her heart and head in agreement for the first time she could remember, both of them completely silent. "Chuck, we just got back together, we don't even know if we still work."

"Yes we do Blair, we never stopped working." Chuck said affectionately as he recalled the way his heart had seemed to miss her while she'd been away. "My heart knows it and so does yours or you wouldn't have ended things with Jack."

Blair shook her head slowly hardly believing what was happening. Everything was moving so quickly, just a few hours ago she was thinking about marrying Jack and now Chuck was proposing? This was crazy. "Chuck it's so soon."

Chuck smirked, though it was almost more of a smile. "No it's not. I've had this ring with me since the day we went shopping. Back in February or March right after we'd gotten back together the first time"

Gasping, Blair could feel her heart pounding in her chest. "Chuck . . ." She began leadingly, not knowing what words might follow.

"I love you Blair. And I don't see the point in spending any more time pretending that there's ever going to be anyone else for me. It's you Blair, for me it's only you." Chuck could see it in her eyes, the love, it was there just as it always was. In that one perfect moment he could see that through all of her doubts and worries, Blair knew that what he was saying was true because she felt it in her heart.

Blair could feel tears stinging the back of her eyes, happy tears, as she found herself nodding. "Okay." She said shaking excitedly as Chuck slid the ring onto her finger knowing that the smile on his face matched the one on her own. "I mean yes I'll marry you."

In an instant Chuck had launched off of his feet and lifted her into his arms. Blair laughed in joy as he swung her around the marvelous room. The light from the chandelier reflected off every surface, including the diamond now resting on her finger.

As Chuck came to a stop he looked into the eyes of the only girl he'd ever loved, of the lady who'd made him into the person who he was supposed to be, and the woman that would one day be his wife. "I love you Waldorf. I love you and there's no way I'll ever stop."

Bringing her lips only a fraction of a way from Chuck's she almost couldn't believe that a part of her, a very large part of her had once thought that this wasn't the life she was meant to live, wasn't the path that she was meant to choose, but even as she thought it she realized something she'd probably always known; some part of her had been longing for this from the moment she'd left Chuck's arms in this building all those months ago. There was a part of her that had never let go of Chuck Bass and now Blair knew that she never could. "I love you too Bass. Always and forever."

* * *

So there it is. The completely finished product. I hope you enjoyed the CB ending as much as I enjoyed writing it. I think I did them justice :)

I'd love it if you'd all review and let me know if this was satisfactory also I'm kinda just a review whore lol.

xoxo - kate


	41. Jack: Waldorfs Don't Joke About Weddings

**WARNING THIS IS THE JACK/BLAIR EPILOGUE IF THIS IS NOT THE COUPLE YOU SHIP DO NOT READ** otherwise please read and enjoy I stayed true to my original ending so I'm glad you guys got to experience that. I hope you enjoy this conclusion to what might be the only Jack/Blair fanfic that's been finished lol.

To all my reviewers **tiff xoxo, Michelle, Nicole Lovely, Maribells, Sw33tHeart21, Alisha Winchester Collins, annablake, CarolinGirl21, Omg, Delilah, BellaB2010, LeftWriter224, LitPrincess2787, LovelyLydia, GGfanficfan09, and SouthernBelle88.** I really appreciate you and can't wait to hear what you think about this conclusion!

Thanks as always to my beta, ggff-fan who had to ruin the experience for herself by reading both epilogues for me instead of picking the one she wanted.

* * *

**Epilogue: Jack  
****Blair Waldorf Does Not Joke About Weddings**

Jack looked over at Blair with a smile on his face. Her feet were propped up on the dashboard as she finished putting a fresh coat of nail polish on them. Had anyone else done so in the Porsche he probably would have had a panic attack; but this was Blair. They'd been driving for a few hours, talking some but mostly blasting the radio and acting like teenagers as they sang along and goofed off.

"Ta-da." Blair exclaimed as she screwed the top back on her nail polish. She'd had a final the very last period of exams and hadn't had time to properly administer a pedicure before Jack arrived. "You know you haven't even asked me how my finals went yet." She said pointedly.

Jack just laughed, leaning his head back against the seat rest. "How were they?"

Blair shrugged as she blew air on her toenails; when she spoke her voice was nonchalant. "They were fine. I'm pretty sure I nailed all of them."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Which is why I didn't ask. I knew you would have already said something if they'd gone anything less than perfect."

Blair laughed out loud, leaning back in her seat and turning her head to look at Jack. "I've missed you." She was almost surprised that the words had slipped out. She hadn't wanted him to think that she couldn't handle the current arrangement - she could, but it didn't stop her from missing him when he was gone.

"I've only been gone for three weeks." Jack said with a small smile. But when he saw a frown grace her features for only a moment he reached over and took her hand. "Hey, I missed you too pretty girl."

They had an unusual setup right now. She was living in the dorms but he'd purchased a townhouse just off campus; in the weeks he was in New Haven, things were almost excruciatingly perfect but he'd gotten a job in LA with a big Hollywood company and consequently spent a lot of time flying back and forth. It wasn't that he minded the travel, only the time he had to spend away from Blair.

Blair nodded, feeling the shift of the mood in the car. "I know."

Jack squeezed her hand slightly before acknowledging the cause of the new tension. "You haven't been back to the city since May?"

Blair pursed her lips, they'd spent most of the summer traveling to various places, Australia to get the rest of Jack's stuff moved, Greece with Serena, and France to see her father before finishing up in LA where Jack was starting a new job. She'd come to see him in LA for Fall Break and they'd gone back to France for Thanksgiving; but now it was Christmas and she was heading back to the city for the first time. "I know." She spoke, her voice quiet.

Inhaling deeply Jack decided to go ahead and throw out the other possible cause of tension, having to do with something he'd asked her before he left for his last trip to LA. "You still haven't answered my question?"

At that Blair smiled, lacing her fingers with his she rubbed her thumb along his. "I know that too."

Before leaving for his last trip, Jack had asked her to marry him. He'd known it was a big question and known she'd need some time which is why he'd planned it when he did, thinking that three weeks would be enough. But they'd been driving for over two hours and she hadn't mentioned it yet. Yet he still understood. Loving her like he did, he still knew that they were at very different stages in their life. He'd just had his 31st birthday but she'd just had her 19th. In all the ways that age didn't matter, this was the one time where it seemed to play a factor; but he'd wait as long as she needed him to wait.

Laughing one more time, Jack brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss there. "I'm glad to see you too Waldorf."

Blair simply smiled. She knew Jack would wait for her, he would wait for as long as she needed him to wait. The ball was in her court now, she just had to decide what exactly to do with it. She knew that there were things she had to do before she could give Jack his answer, very difficult things and that was half the reason she was dreading going back.

* * *

Jack pulled the car to a stop in front of her building. One of his drivers was waiting on the curb to take it to the parking deck where it would stay while they were in the city, during which time he'd be using a hired car. He rushed around the car to open her door, extending her his hand as he brought her to her feet. "Welcome back to Manhattan Princess."

Blair exited the car but kept her hold of Jack's hand. Inhaling deeply, absorbing the sights and sounds of her city. Turning back to Jack she smiled. "Thank you."

Jack smirked. "That you've missed this place is obvious."

Blair nodded. Manhattan was her city, it always had been. There was something about it that had an uncanny ability to bring you to life. To others she'd passed off her reasons for not returning as having those other plans but she hadn't hidden the truth from Jack, he knew that she hadn't returned because she was a little bit scared. "I guess eventually we all have to weigh our desires over our fears and choose which is more important."

Smiling, Jack placed a kiss on her forehead. He knew they needed to get inside soon. Her mother's anniversary dinner was tonight and since she'd followed all the superstitions with Harold and that hadn't worked out, this time she'd decided to throw out the rule book and throw a grand party. "Are you ready to go in?" He asked, somewhat cautiously as was well aware that basically every one Blair had ever known was likely to be assembled inside, not to mention the general act of being around her mother stressed Blair out more than she cared to admit.

Blair bit her bottom lip for a moment before speaking, trying to identify the best way to phrase what she was about to say. Physically she was ready as she'd changed into her formal dress in the car but mentally there was something else on her mind. "There's actually somewhere I need to go first."

"Chuck's?" Jack asked knowingly. He'd halfway anticipated she'd ask him to drop her off at the Palace. When it came to facing her fears, it was something Blair did head on which meant she'd need to see Chuck sooner rather than later.

Blair nodded, not bothering to wonder how Jack knew, he always knew.

Jack smiled. "Go on. I'll make your excuses to your mother as to why you're late."

"Thank you." Blair said, knowing he'd know that she wasn't just thanking him for making excuses for her, or for letting her go, but for understanding why she needed to go.

Jack brushed a lock of hair out of her face before handing her a business card. "This is the driver I've hired while we're home, just give him a call and he'll drive you."

Blair nodded before rising to her toes and placing a soft kiss on Jack's lips. As she pulled away she whispered. "I'll be back before you know it."

Nodding, Jack turned and walked into her building. He knew this was something she needed to do because regardless of how the conversation with Chuck went it had to happen and delaying the inevitable wouldn't do either of them any good. So instead he did what he'd always sworn he would do and let her go to make her own decisions.

* * *

Chuck was surprised when he heard knocking on his door. He was fairly certain that everyone he knew was going to the Waldorf's tonight for the big anniversary celebration and he hadn't called up for room service. The staff knew better to disturb him and no one else would dare knock on his door without even calling first. Those who would were at the Waldorf's, which brought him right back to his original thought.

For a moment he considered the possibility of not answering but the knocking came again and honestly if they were here it was likely they had a damn good reason. So with no further thought he walked to the door and flung it open, the air flying from his lungs the moment he saw who was on the other side.

"Blair." Chuck exhaled as he opened the door, seeing Blair Waldorf dressed in a long black evening gown that trailed the ground. Sure he knew she was back in town but he had been fully planning not to see her while she was here. He didn't want things to be harder than they had to be and this, seeing her, would only make everything complicated. "What are you doing here?" Chuck asked, his brow furrowed slightly.

A part of her wanted to turn and run before he opened the door but she hadn't and now it was too late. This was that moment that she'd been scared of for months on end, the moment that could define who she was. Either she'd know that she'd done the right thing because things really had been over between them or a few words with Chuck and she'd know that it had all been wrong. The part of her that was terrified was the latter. Blair bit her lip slightly. "Can I come in? I want to talk."

Chuck backed up, allowing her entrance with a wave of his hand; he couldn't deny her anymore now than he could six months ago because no passage of time would ever change the fact that she was Blair Waldorf and he was Chuck Bass and they were connected. "Be my guest." He spoke, pushing his weakness at her surprise immediately from him.

Blair didn't say anything for a moment; she couldn't seem to form any words. She'd convinced herself that she could do this, that she could come here and everything would be fine but right now she was completely on edge. And seeing Chuck was like a shock to her system; so much history, so many feelings there.

"Don't be so anxious Blair, it's just me." Chuck smirked as she walked past him. He could see that her fingers were trembling and she didn't have to say the words that he knew she was thinking. _That's what I'm afraid of. _He couldn't exactly blame her, his own heart was racing and he felt remarkably like he'd gone numb from head to toe; that's the effect Blair Waldorf had on him and he doubted that that would ever change.

"Sit down." He spoke gesturing towards the sitting area as he walked behind the bar. "Would you like a drink?" He asked as she took a seat. As she did his eyes didn't leave hers; they couldn't. She was still that same perfect picture of perfection, a sight for sore eyes if he'd ever seen one.

Blair nodded ever so slightly. "You know what I like."

Again Chuck smirked. "I do." Mixing her drink quickly he walked over and sat next to her, his own tumbler of scotch in one hand with her drink in the other. "Amaretto sour." He spoke, handing her the drink before taking a seat in the chair adjacent to where she was sitting. "Now what can I do for you?"

Blair inhaled deeply, there were so many things she wanted – no, things she needed to say and though one was her initial reason for coming, the other was so much more prevalent in her mind now. "You're not going to the party?"

Chuck shook his head, his face a mask of sorts as he took a sip of his scotch. He thought for a moment about lying to Blair but she'd know, she always knew. "I'm not feeling up to being around so many people just yet." Then he smiled, ever so briefly. "Which you already knew since you came here to find me."

Blair nodded. "It's my first stop." She wanted him to know that he was still important to her, even after everything. "How are you?" She finally asked, eyes full of compassion.

Chuck exhaled, his breathing a little rough. "Better than I'd thought I'd be. Wednesday was . . . Wednesday was hard. I didn't really want to see anybody or talk to anyone."

"I'm sorry, I wanted to be home in time but I had a final yesterday and today." Blair said, still feeling guilty. She had almost found a way to make it work by moving around her exams but in the end it had been impossible. And a big part of her felt like she'd let Chuck down in some way by not being here.

"You called, that was enough." Chuck spoke thinking back to Blair's call two days before. He hadn't expected it, hadn't even realized until he saw her number on his caller id that she was the one person he wanted to talk to. On Wednesday that call had been like a lifeline; they hadn't even talked that much, Blair had rambled about her exams and how hellish they were to take his mind off things and he'd confessed how bad the day had been.

Blair smiled slightly. "I'm always going to call." She knew he understood that she didn't just mean that she'd call on the anniversary of his father's death, simply that when he needed her she'd be there.

"I know." Chuck spoke, his voice smooth for the circumstances. The earlier anxiety had dissipated and now sitting here with Blair was almost like having a conversation with a part of himself that he thought was gone. In that moment he realized perhaps for the first time that Blair could be in his life without all the other stuff.

Blair tilted her head to the side as though she were trying to get a better look at him and in some ways she was. She needed to see if he was putting up some kind of front for her. "Do you want to go to the cemetery?" She asked, her voice soft.

Chuck shook his head, letting a smile slip past his features, a real smile. "I already went." Blair's eyes went wide and he nodded. "I went this morning, even took flowers."

Blair felt her hand come up to her mouth before she realized it as she shook her head in awe. "I'm proud of you, Chuck."

Chuck almost blushed, almost. "And you are my toughest critic."

"And don't you forget it." Blair spoke her tone serious but her face laughing. Her eyes met Chuck's and she felt something so completely real there that she almost couldn't help her next words. "So tell me about Sophia," Chuck's eyes were surprised so Blair covered. "Her name is Sophia right?"

Chuck nodded. "How did you . . .Serena." Blair nodded and Chuck continued, still surprised that Blair brought Sophia up. "Yes her name is Sophia." He paused for a second, collecting his thoughts; how did he describe what was going on with Sophia to the girl he'd once believed to be the love of his life. "It's still new. She's out of town right now on business, we haven't gotten into some of the darker stuff yet, I haven't told her about my father or she would have wanted to be here for that and that's something I'm not quite ready for."

Blair smiled, laughter cracking through her façade. "At least it's not Jenny."

Chuck frowned, a groan escaping his lips. "Don't even go there."

"No need since you already did." Blair tried to draw in her laugher and smirk but she found she couldn't help it, even as Chuck scowled. "I mean it's not even like it was one time. . ."

Chuck groaned in displeased embarrassment. "I know."

Blair felt herself settling down but she couldn't stop one last jab. "Never would I have guessed that you're next girlfriend after me would be Jenny Humphrey, it's almost insulting."

Chuck rolled his eyes, knowing Blair wasn't being serious. "Please, I was on the rebound."

Blair simply smiled. "I know. And from what I've heard Sophia is a real step up."

From there Chuck went off, extolling the virtues of Sophia. Whether that was to assure her that Sophia was much better than Jenny Humphrey or simply because he couldn't help it, she wasn't sure. But she was fairly certain that Chuck didn't realize his current state. As he spoke of Sophia his eyes twinkled just a little more, he was nervous as though she made him anxious, and he kept running his hand through his hair as though he couldn't sit still.

Blair smiled to herself, she knew the day would come when she'd see that look on Chuck's face about someone else and was surprised that it made her as happy as it did. "You love her; have you told her yet."

"I don't. . ." Chuck started before inhaling sharply. He did, he did love her. "How'd you . . ."

Smiling again Blair shook her head. "No one knows you like I do Bass."

Chuck smirked. "I have a feeling that will always be true."

Another thought struck her rather suddenly. "Serena really likes her you know." Blair spoke almost distractedly as she met Chuck's gaze. "I want to meet her while I'm home for break."

Chuck nodded. "I think I'd like that."

For a moment they sat there in complete silence and it was in that moment that Blair realized the thing she had been afraid of wasn't seeing Chuck and thinking she'd made the biggest mistake of her life like she'd feared; rather, she was afraid that she and Chuck couldn't have this. She was afraid that without the all consuming passionate love they'd shared, she'd lost the friend that knew her better than anyone. And in that moment she knew she had nothing to fear.

It was Chuck who spoke again. Not because the silence that had settled was uncomfortable rather because he had to tell her something. "So . . . how are things with Jack?"

Blair met Chuck's eyes unable to help the smile that lit her face at his words. "Things with Jack are good. Really good."

Chuck smirked lightly. "Has he asked you to marry him yet?"

This time it was Blair who was filled with surprise. How had Chuck known? She hadn't told anyone, not even Serena.

"I'll take that as a yes." Chuck said smugly as he leaned forwards a little. "You haven't given him an answer yet have you?"

Blair simply shook her head, mouth still slightly open in shock.

He chuckled. "Before you ask, I'll go ahead and say that I think Jack was ready to marry you last March, he was trying to give you all the time you needed." Blair seemed to be nodding as though she knew he was right but Chuck continued. "And I know that he'll wait for you until you're ready, but I think you're more ready than you think."

Shaking her head in awe Blair struggled to find the words she'd come to say. "That was what I came here to talk to you about. I was planning to say yes but I wanted to make sure you were okay first." As she spoke she knew the words were the truth, that was why she couldn't answer Jack because as much as she loved him there was still a part of her that had to tell Chuck.

Chuck nodded, he'd known that already too. "I have one request."

Blair looked at him curiously. "Go on."

Chuck smirked. "This goes for you too, but when I have kids I would rather omit the fact that I know Auntie Blair quite intimately."

Blair gasped. "This does make me your aunt." Chuck nodded. "Oh my God that's weird." And then they were both laughing. They were both laughing so hard it felt as though their sides were splitting in two. Because this bizarre situation was one neither of them had ever anticipated. To do so would have been impossible. And really it was all just so absurd.

As their laughter died down Blair reached over and took Chuck's hand. "Come to the party with me."

Chuck looked at her strangely. "I don't know Blair, that's a lot of people."

Blair nodded. "Yeah but I'll be there."

"With Jack." Chuck completed knowingly.

Blair nodded once more. "Don't you think it's time the two of you guys worked things out? Other than me, you're the only family each other has. I know you've forgiven him - you wouldn't let me near him if you hadn't."

Chuck sat quietly for moment knowing that what Blair said was true. If he didn't trust Jack he wouldn't have been so calm about the engagement, he wouldn't have let her go all those months ago. Blair was too precious to him even now to allow anyone to harm her. Which could only mean that Blair was right, as usual. "Okay." He spoke softly.

* * *

Jack was speaking to Eleanor, assuring her that Blair had texted that she was on her way when they walked in. He was a little surprised that Chuck was with her, but not really. He'd known that was where she was going and so close to the anniversary of his father's death she wouldn't have wanted him to be alone.

What really surprised him was what they did next. Blair who'd he'd been expecting to walk straight over went to where Serena was standing, while Chuck began to make a beeline for him. "Chuck." He spoke with a nod as the boy came to stand before him.

"Jack." Chuck responded in fashion.

Eleanor only looked between the two men for a moment before excusing herself. Originally she hadn't been happy with Blair's relationship with Chuck, less so with her subsequent relationship with Jack. However, over time she had been persuaded by the devotion displayed by Jack, further assurances from Blair, and the continued support of Lily. Despite her acceptance of the relationship she did not want to involve herself in any drama between Jack and Charles.

"Subtle isn't she." Jack spoke as Eleanor walked away.

Chuck snorted as he looked back to his uncle. "Well she seems to have warmed to you better than she ever did to me. Junior year I was banned from the house on more than one occasion."

Jack smirked, but it wasn't a dark menacing smirk, it was one of joking. "Smart woman."

At that Chuck outright laughed before composing his face for a serious conversation with Jack. "I wanted to speak with you for a minute."

"About Blair?" Jack asked knowingly as he began to walk further away from the crowded room and into an alcove of sorts.

Chuck nodded as he followed. He'd forgotten how natural it was, not to be enemies with Jack. For the longest time Jack had been his familial ally, his mentor even. That had gotten lost in the drama of the past year and Blair was right in suggesting he get it back. "She made a point today, one I myself never stopped to consider."

Chuck paused for a moment and allowed himself to gather his bearings before he continued. "When I let Blair go last May, I did so easily because I had already come to a similar conclusion. But my thinking all centered around what Blair wanted. I didn't have to think about whether or not you would be good to her; I didn't for one second consider that I couldn't let her go to you because you would hurt her."

Jack looked at Chuck, surprise lighting his features. "Why? It's what I would have been thinking."

Chuck shook his head. "Blair's the one that gave me the reason today. It's because I already trusted that you wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. I already knew that she was as safe or safer with you than she was with me." Exhaling Chuck met Jack's gaze head on. "The point is, I forgave you a long time ago and I think I'm asking for you to forgive me."

Jack's eyes widened in shock, he could hardly believe the words coming from his nephew's mouth. "There's nothing to forgive." He said extending a hand because it was true, there wasn't anything to forgive, not anymore.

Chuck shook his hand before they began to walk back towards the party. Blair spotted them immediately and walked over. Assessing the situation long before arriving, Blair was smiling before she reached the men. "You know if I'd know it would have been that easy I might have tried this earlier."

Blair's words earned laughter from both but Chuck knew that she needed to talk to Jack, needed to tell him something. Chuck looked to Blair and gave her a smile, one he hoped said that it was time before he turned to Jack. "Take good care of our girl."

Jack nodded as Chuck began to walk off. Turning to face Blair, he spoke, his words slow and measured. "He's not a child anymore is he?"

Blair shook her head. "No, he hasn't been for a long time."

Jack almost laughed as his mind drifted back to one particular day, the only one he could pinpoint that Chuck had grown up. "He grew up the day he walked into that board room and told them the truth. He might have tried to play the child for a few months after that but that was the day he figured things out."

"Thank you for mending fences with him." She spoke quietly. She knew it hadn't been the most difficult thing she'd ever wanted from Jack but it wasn't the easiest either. And the thing was she'd never even had to ask.

Jack nodded, looking directly into her eyes. "For you, anything." Walking with her, he allowed her to lead him into the party which was already beginning to dwindle down; Blair had been very late by anyone's standards. "You know it was time for me to talk to him anyway."

Blair smiled knowingly. "I know."

It was after the party began to diminish that Blair turned and faced Jack. "Let's go upstairs." The only people that were left at the party were her stepbrother Aaron, a couple of her mother's friends, and of course Cyrus and her mother. Blair was excited. She'd first felt the rush at Chuck's suite when she realized that she'd been planning on saying yes to Jack all along but upon arrival at the party she knew it just wasn't the right time. She'd been waiting as patiently as possible for the past few hours but that had done nothing but give her time to ponder the exact words she'd want to say to Jack when she accepted. When she finally landed on them she couldn't wait any longer.

Jack looked at her quizzically. His body ached for her after their three week celebration. He knew better than to assume they'd be sleeping together in the house with her mom there, he was supposed to be in the guest room but he wasn't quite sure on the exact protocol since Eleanor hadn't been here at all last spring. "Shouldn't we wait until the party's over?"

Blair shrugged. "No one left will care."

Smiling, Jack took her hand and allowed her to lead him up the staircase. As he watched her carefully lift the edge of the gown she'd worn he was reminded of another day so many months ago when she'd tripped over her train and he'd caught her.

Almost casually Blair began to speak. "You know this is the first anniversary of the day we met."

Jack could hear something strange in her voice, something almost like teasing. "Is it?" He asked playing along. Of course he'd known it was the anniversary of the day he met Blair. That day had changed his life forever; but he hadn't thought it significant enough to mention.

Blair nodded as all of her ideas about what she was going to say in answer to Jack flew from her mind. She stopped suddenly, dropping her hem as she stepped onto the landing. Her heart was pounding as she tried to find her words, to make herself walk forwards but something was holding her in place. When she stumbled she wasn't sure if she'd meant to do so or not; she was lost almost nine months ago, lost in a world where she'd just realized that she didn't hate Jack Bass. But as she tripped she knew he'd catch her, he was always there to catch her.

Jack's arms were around her before he realized she was falling. Pulling her to him Jack felt his heart pounding in his chest as more memories of that moment on the stairs so long ago flooded his system. "You scared me for a second." He spoke, his voice low.

Blair leaned back against him, inhaling deeply. "My answer's yes Jack."

"Your what?" Jack asked confused and thrown off guard as he slid his hands more solidly around her.

Blair smiled as she turned her head to look at him in much the same way she remembered doing before. "My answer to your question, is yes."

Jack's heart stopped, literally stopped, as he absorbed her words. Her skin against his seemed to radiate heat and he closed his eyes soaking in the warmth. Joy rushed through his entire body, invading his senses and when he moved it wasn't of his own volition.

Blair practically squealed as she felt herself lifted from the ground and the room began to spin around her. She wasn't sure how he'd turned her so quickly but she was facing Jack and he was spinning her around on the landing. Locking her arms around his neck she wasn't aware of the people left at the party who were watching, she wasn't aware of anything except for him.

Jack slowed down and stopped, leaning his forehead against hers he pulled her closer. "You're serious?" He spoke, breathing her in, waiting with almost bated breath for her answer. He'd jumped at the moment she'd said yes but now, now he had to be sure.

Blair smiled as she met his eyes. "Of course. Blair Waldorf does not joke about weddings."

Moving his lips lower, Jack captured hers with his own. Feeling the rush of emotion he always felt when he was connected to her. The intense passion that seeped through him, the love that controlled him.

Pulling away slightly Blair focused on Jack's crystal blue eyes. "I had this whole speech planned but then when I was standing at the top of those stairs all I could think about was that day of the Gala when I kissed you."

Jack took one of the hands that was wrapped around her waist and brought it to brush along her face. "I love you." He spoke completely serious, not one hint of laughter or joking because it was the only thing in the world he knew to be true.

Blair smiled as she leaned in to kiss him again. "I love you too."

After several minutes, the real world jolted into motion as Eleanor called up from the foyer. "What's going on up there?"

Blair broke away, laughing with Jack as they both turned their heads downward where the few remaining party guests were gathered. In one of her most impulsive moments Blair called back. "We're getting married."

Eleanor looked a little faint but Blair didn't care as she turned back to Jack, holding him tightly to her she spoke quietly for his ears alone. "We're getting married."

Jack smiled at her repetition, knowing what weight the second time carried. "Yes, we are."

* * *

So there it is. The completely finished product. I hope you enjoyed the JB ending as much as I enjoyed writing it. I think I did them justice :)

I'd love it if you'd all review and let me know if this was satisfactory also I'm kinda just a review whore lol.

xoxo - kate


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